THE ACID DESK
A Bi-Weekly Underground XFFanfic Newsletter
Vol 1. No. 2
Welcome to THE ACID DESK, a bi-monthly newsletter discussing the latest fics, recs, trends, discussions, and even *gasp* gossip in the X-Files Fanfic Community and posted to XFCTalk for discussion and debate.
All opinions expressed herein belong solely to the author, CiCi Lean, and have no reflection on the opinions of the administration or owners of XFCTalk.
Write to me and tell me how wrong I am!
CiCi Lean
[email protected]
THE ACID DESK MAILROOM:
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FROM THE E-BOX:
Regarding "The Acid Desk" Volume One...
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from [email protected]
"Murder"? Don't you mean "Mulder"?"
As I might have explained, my spell checker was set on "auto-correct." Don't worry, I've fixed all that.
I've desided againsst spelllkhecking at all. ::::beaming smartly:::::::
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from [email protected]
re: "THE BAXTER TECHNIQUE"
The Baxter-Technique is a way to stimulate a woman a lot!!! I discovered The Baxter-Technique about 10 years ago, and wondered was I mad? Or was the world blind?!"
Well, if they keep doing -that- sort of stuff every day, if they aren't blind now, no doubt they will be soon.
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HOT BYTES
New Authors, Stories & More!
"The Abyss Looks Back" & "And Then There Was One" by Kronos - Discovered first on the MulderTorture site these two -excellent- novels by newbie Kronos have Super-AngstyProfiling!Mulder, Supportive!Scully and two really nifty cases. Highly rec'd for "download, print-out & take to the beach" reading material. Rating: ALB - 5 Flashlights, ATTWO - 4-1/2 Flashlights (Can both be found on MulderTorture, Gossamer & The Annex)
The Work of "jordan" - On atxc and Gossamer, check out this author's really intense series of Sc/Sk (with very interesting MSR overtones), "A Cold Angel Eye" and the neat short work "Alligator Moon." I like the writing, *and* the fact that even the screamingist *shippers are recc'ing "Cold Angel." Keep eyes open for this newbie.
"Blind" Item: Tweet, tweet. Little birds have been flying around with the news that Nic Perry might ACTUALLY be finishing up her magnificent "Road" series, that ended off with a possible cure for our heroic, yet blind, Scully. We've been suffering through a year of waiting, but considering the awesome task creating and editing this monster must be, we won't begrudge Nic the time. For now.
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GOSSIP CORNER
Eat Your Heart Out, Cindy Adams
Blind Item #1: Which Vicious Circle of Fanfic Authors have been sitting on their naughty duffs writing cruel "parodies" of other authors' works, giggling in secret, only to find to their absolute horror that snippets of the pieces have been making the E-mail rounds, and that it's just a matter of time before their "victims" get a hold of them?
Blind Item #2: Which self-admitted plagiarist is STILL posting not only to Gossamer, but to ATXC as well, not even having the odd decency to change the name & ISP they plagiarized under?
Blind Item #3: Which old time author has been posting works under a pseudonym, while masquerading as a clueless newbie? And, if they come up for a "Best New Author" award (which is very likely), whatever will they say? (And NO, it's NOT me. Sheesh...
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THE GOSSA-PER
Notes On The Archive of Note
CATEGORY FUN: Hearing some complaints of UST versus actual romance designations on Gossamer. Authors feel they are losing readers without the almighty "R" designation (even if M&S are practically "investigating" in each others' laps), and archivists are adamant that without The Screaming Poodle or its intimations, there is no MSR. I sympathize with the archivists on this one. Imagine a horde of MSR readers deprived of their smut without foreknowledge. Not a pretty sight.
PHAT STATS: Another hot fic on the stats chart is a fic of mystery. "Agent Scully Works Her Magic" has been a consistent top five hit for a while now. However, WHERE THE HECK IS THIS FIC? There is no author listing on the stat sheet, and I've been through the A's until my head swims in a sea of alpha. I know I'm just being blind, but please, will someone mail this to me and put me out of my misery?
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ATXCARAMBA!
The Latest From The Usenet Front (alt.tv.x-files.creative)
IT'S "THE END" OF THE WORLD: Ah, season finale fics. Nothing quite like them, though this year we have the novelty of Mulder actually being *alive* at the end of this season. Of course, he's miserable anyway. Sigh. Four hundred "identical" fics filled with melted drawers, dripping sprinklers, soot-covered snookies and the odd fireman's tale. Sigh. Anyone want to tackle a fic where that ugly little psychic kid turns out to be Frohike's love child? No? Didn't think so...
MOVIE MADNESS: Yes, as the season draws to an "End", we brace ourselves mightily with screams of "INCOMING" for the inevitable flood of movie fics, no doubt filled with song lyrics, exploding FBI balls (oh, STOP that, you naughty readers) and adjectives trying to describe Martin Landau ("wild-eyed"? "a guy who looks just like that guy from Mission Impossible?"). I personally look forward to the inevitable flood of spam and OT posts hitting the newsgroup from newbies who think that the "c" in atxc means "conversation."
AND...will the hotly rumored RST in the film, kill our beloved MSR? Nothing like an *actual* big, wet sloppy one to take the punch out of romance fics. Stay tuned, gentle readers...
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THE SLASH CAFE
Reviews From The Wild Side
"The Training of "P" by Kassandra - (K/P) Well, the most controversial slash fic of the year, and guess what? It was written as a gift for yours truly, by the immensely talented Kassandra, in real-time over five days, via AOL IM yet! Screams of "rape fic", "squick-o-rama!", incoherent howls of rage filled the air for days in Slashland, all of them ignoring a fic that was wonderfully dark, beautifully written and presented in the best tradition of Pauline Reage and Anne Rice. I try to be objective, but it's hard when someone's handed something of this beauty to you on a whim. Stunning. (Pssst...it's on the Socks Shoppe, but in a special corner...http://members.aol.com/xapen/trainingp.html) Keep the kiddies at home, please. -- Rating: 5 +++ Lashes
"Friends" by Te (Byers/Langly) - A stunning groundbreaker of a fic. An old joke in XFSlash forbids slashing the Lone Gunmen with *anyone*, let alone each other, but here is not only a fic of sensitivity and lyrical beauty, but also with dead-on characterization and an utterly heartbreaking premise. I *crave* more of this universe, because it is sexier than I would have ever imagined. -- Rating: 5 Lashes (bonus points for being the first of its kind.)
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TALK, TALK
Discussing The Discussion Lists
XFCTalk - Things are looking up the past couple of weeks here. After the first, typo-ridden edition of THE ACID DESK hit, there was a small flurry of debate on "Noir MSR" and "sap" versus "angst", with bets being taken on a Serious Summer Sap Influx, pre & post-movie. Oh. Gee. I can't wait.
CHAOS FICTALK: Posts seem to have settled into a summer snail's pace, but with a good variety of recs, although some fics rec'd are surprisingly old. The volume on XFF itself, however is, as always, overwhelming, with this reader wincing as she dually prepares her "download" and "delete" buttons for a workout. Good news is, spam on the list is down, with ListMistress Lisa takin' no prisoners. Politely, of course.
AOL FANFIC JUNKIES BOARD: Huge slash discussion this week, filled with Dark Side entreaties and TOSable in-jokes, after a non-slasher innocently inquired as to the "attraction of slash." Boy, was she sorry she asked. After over 50 rhapsodizing posts about pretty boys, conga lines and party hats, even the Slash Junkies were feeling worn out. Also included good thread about "ancient, musty, creaky, favorite fanfics" from days gone by. Made me go look up some oldies but goodies. (My choice? "Into The Woods" by Peggy Li.)
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FANFIC LINE OF THE WEEK:
(Where The Names Have Been Changed to Protect...well, Everyone.)
From: "Free Willie 12: The One-Eyed Wonder Whale"
-- by [email protected]
"He started screaming loudly, as seamen shot out all over his chest."
Ahoy, mateys! THAR SHE BLOWS!
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GRATUITOUS PENDY MENTION OF THE WEEK
(A.P.I.G.P: All Pendrell is Good Pendrell)
"Trini" by Ladyfox -- Well, what can I say about this fic that hasn't probably been already said by those brave souls who have read it? Pendy not only gets some...he GETS some, boy! See, go to a girl's house to give her some lab results, and look at what happens. She's in a mood and her partner just happens to...uh...well... Heh, heh. (On the Socks Shoppe only: http://members.aol.com/xapen/shop.html)
- Rating: Too Many Labmice To Count
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RANT-O-RAMA:
Ravings From The Acid Desk:
"I hate that stuff."
"Did you ever read any of it?"
"No."
"How do you know you hate it then?"
"I just do."
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Now, you'd think I was talking about The Grateful Dead, wouldn't you?
You know, that band that everyone hates, even without ever hearing them play a note, on stage or otherwise?
Wrong. This is a typical conversation I've had with fanfic readers about slash.
Yes, slash. You know, those same-sex-love stories, the ones that I like to call the "licorice" of fanfic. It appears that you either love slash or hate slash ...passionately. There are people who think that slashers, both the readers and the writers, are "weirdos", "freaks", "creeps", and a whole host of other funky adjectives. (And if you are in this particular group, don't feel so smarmy. Slashers have some "interesting", albeit private, names for you, too.)
And then, there are the politer, but just as adamant naysayers, who absolutely -refuse- to even -contemplate- giving The Dark Side the teensy-weensiests of looksies. Not even a peek of the best works XFslash has to offer, such as "Ghosts" or Antrim.
And while they all are certainly entitled to their opinions and their choices, this knee-jerk negative reaction to slash really puzzles me. I could dismiss it as homophobia, plain and simple, but not all people who refuse to read slash *are* homophobes (hell, some of them are probably gay!)
Therefore, I have this sneaking suspicion that many people who claim to *hate* and *never, ever* read slash have actually, on one daring day, given it a quick try, and, ooops...they accidentally picked up a *real* dog of a slash fic. (Usually the one where the "smears" and "anal vaults" make a dramatic appearance right after the diapers.)
And, mournfully, they just never recovered from it.
I might be wrong, but I'm convinced that this is one of the biggest problems with introducing (reintroducing?) fanfic readers to slash. While the ratio of good to awful slash is almost identical to gen or MSR fic (with the rare "great" fic tossed in as well), there -is- something about a really "awful" slash that leaves the reader feeling, well, somewhat...tawdry. Unclean, even. You feel as though you need to take a shower -right away-, and not because you're all sweaty with joy either.
And while there are just as many rotten gen/MSR fics, they just don't engender the same reaction. Sure, I've read gen/MSR's that made me roll my eyes, hit delete compulsively, even grimace with distaste. But I've read slash (in particular, one unfathomably endless series that will remain nameless here) that had me blasting the Showermate, while desperately trying to loofah off my entire top layer of skin and brush my teeth at the same time.
I mean, it was just *that* bad.
And, while I'm not sure why this is, it appears to be an unfortunate fact of the genre. So, when I introduce people to slash, I try to be super careful to only pick out the pairings and level of smut they are able to handle. And for those who are brave enough to give slash a try, choose your fics and your authors carefully.
And remember, an educated slasher is your friend.
So, if any slashers here want to introduce a newbie to *our* world, be sure to go slowly and gently with them...
And don't forget the lube. ;-)
-- CiCi Lean
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That's it for this edition.
Come again next time, and I'll have some more snarky rants, squealing raves, gratuitous PendrellTorture
THE ACID DESK is, hopefully, a bi-weekly newsletter, written & created by CiCi Lean and posted to XFCTalk for discussion and debate. All opinions expressed within belong solely to the author and have no reflection on the opinions of the administration or owners of XFCTalk.
This newsletter may NOT be copied, forwarded or posted to any other list, USENET news group of web page without express permission of the author, CiCi Lean ( [email protected] ). In short, if you sneak it around, I'll catch you and eat you alive. (And I chew 100 times per bite, just like Mama Lean taught me to.)
All comments private & public to XFCTalk are welcome.