From:dbkate@yahoo.com
Date:  Mon Nov 15, 1999  3:43 pm 
Subject:  THE LIFE DEBT by DBKate (1/1 - NC-17)

 
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Category: Slash, Angst, Romance
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: NC-17 for sexual situations
Archive: Nowhere, thank you! :-)
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, wish I did.
**WARNING**: While no age is specified, you might want to assume
that Underage!Obi-Wan is starring in this fic. If this squicks
you, please move on.

Summary: A battle survived, a debt incurred.

Note: This fic was a spur of the moment birthday gift for my
good pal and editor Kass, so I beg mercy for any typos or lags.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KASS! *Hugs!*

========
THE LIFE DEBT
by DBKate, 1999
dbkate@yahoo.com
=========

Once again, Qui-Gon had underestimated their opponents.

It was supposed to have been a simple mission, one holding no
danger to himself or his padawan, but, as always, that was not to
be the case. Instead, they'd found themselves trapped on the
upper levels of an empty hanger, fighting battle 'droids armed
with deadly ion canons, unable to use their sabers effectively
against the widespread blasts. Qui-Gon hadn't expected such
sophisticated weaponry to exist on such a quiet world and thus
hadn't prepared himself properly, even after Obi-Wan's warnings
to the contrary.

He should have known better. His padawan might have been young,
but he was no fool and to Qui-Gon's horror, Obi-Wan soon paid the
price for his master's pride.

When the 'droids made their sudden appearance, their first attack
took him completely by surprise and his padawan had thrown
himself between Qui-Gon and the ion blast without hesitation.
Qui-Gon could only watch in horror as Obi-Wan fell like a stone
beneath the deadly assault, the force of the blow throwing the
boy back like a rag doll, sending him crashing into the steel
wall behind them.

Qui-Gon retained enough of his sanity to pick the crumpled body
up from the hanger's deck and make a desperate dash in retreat,
not caring that he was running from a fight, not caring about
anything but the precious life that was cradled limply in his
arms.

It took a little while, but Qui-Gon found a relatively sheltered
alcove and huddled in it, calling for help over his battered
comlink. He bit his lip, praying for a reply, and a moment later
his prayers were answered. Soldiers, as well as a medi-vac unit
were on their way; all he had to do was maintain his position for
a few more moments longer without letting them get killed.

Easier said than done. Especially with Obi-Wan literally dying
in his arms.

"They're coming, padawan," Qui-Gon murmured against the pallid
cheek that rested against his shoulder. He tightened his grip
and wrapped his cloak around them both, trying to bring some
warmth and color back into his padawan's face. He forced himself
to ignore the tiny trickle of blood that was seeping from the
corner of Obi-Wan's lips, a trickle that implied the extent of
his injuries were grave indeed. "They are almost here."

A weak moan was his padawan's only response.

Qui-Gon gritted his teeth and forced calm into his tone. "Just a
few moments more. Just hang on." Obi-Wan's eyes fluttered open
and Qui-Gon smiled weakly at him. "There you are. Don't worry,
help is on its way. Soon you'll be safe and all will be well."

Obi-Wan shook his head slowly. "No, Master. I don't think so."
Thick voice, pained. "Master . . ." The trickle of blood began
to drip onto Qui-Gon's tunic, staining the white cloth a bright
red.

Qui-Gon swallowed hard. A dull sense of panic thumped through
his chest, but he concealed it. No use frightening the boy, he
thought desperately, even though his padawan looked much calmer
than he himself felt. "Hush," he whispered against the soft hair,
damp with sweat. "Be still, Obi-Wan, there is no need to speak."

"No. Want to . . . must tell you something." The words were
slurred, each syllable following the other painfully. "Master .
.. I love you."

"I love you too, my padawan." Soothing voice. Where in all
hells were those medics, Qui-Gon thought furiously. "Now hush and
we will. . ."

He felt a tug on his cloak and looked down at Obi-Wan's face.
The boy's skin was deathly pale, salle-white. The huge eyes were
filled with agony -- and something else.

Love shone through the pain. Not the love of a padawan for his
Master, or even the innocent crush of a boy for a man he admired.
It was something profound, wild; and deeply passionate.
Adoration tempered with respect, fervent longing mixed with
infinite depths and shades of desire.

"I _love_ you." The whisper was emphatic, desperate. "Please
Master . . . please understand."

Qui-Gon stared at him, stunned. He could feel the urgent
desperation as the boy's life force quickly faded. His Obi-Wan
was dying and this was his final confession to the one he loved.
Death was taking him, snatching him from Qui-Gon's grasp, and he
was helpless to prevent it.

No, no . . . that was not to be, he would refuse to let it
happen. By the gods, his Obi-Wan would -not- die. "All right
then," Qui-Gon replied roughly. "You say you truly love me, Obi-
Wan?"

Obi-Wan blinked. Nodded slowly.

Qui-Gon gently pulled his chin toward him. Stared into the boy's
eyes and put every bit of Force at his command into his voice.
"Then live," he whispered harshly. "If you love me, you will
refuse to die. Stay with me, and if you do, I promise I will be
with you always. But live, my Obi-Wan, you must live. If what
you say is true, you will do this for me."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened, and he grimaced in pain. "But ... I - I
want to, but I can't."

"No. There is no -can't-. There is only this." Qui-Gon
whispered and before the boy could protest again, he took Obi-
Wan's mouth beneath his own, kissing him urgently, ignoring the
copper taste of the boy's blood on his lips, concentrating only
on the slowly fading warmth, on keeping his padawan tethered to
life by any means necessary.

He pulled back and looked down into the boy's face, praying he'd
succeeded.

"Oh," Obi-Wan murmured, his expression dazed. Filled with wonder.
"Oh . . ." he repeated before his eyes fluttered shut. He lost
consciousness, but was still breathing.

Still breathing and still alive.

Qui-Gon heard the arrival of the medi-car and rose to meet it
with Obi-Wan lying unconscious in his arms. He barked orders to
the healers and gently lay his padawan on an available gurney,
carefully strapping him onto it. Ordered the driver to take off
as if a demon were on his trail and held tightly onto Obi-Wan's
hand as they sped away.

Counting off every pulse beat that throbbed beneath his
fingertips.

========

As usual, the bacta worked miracles, even on one as seriously
injured as Obi-Wan. He floated in it for nearly three days and
Qui-Gon refused to budge from the tank's side, making sure that
all his padawan's injuries, internal and external, were properly
attended to.

The healers expressed amazement that the boy had survived, but
Qui-Gon ignored them, instead concentrating on the slim body
suspended in the healing fluid. Supervised Obi-Wan's removal
while insisting he be brought back to their quarters as soon as
possible, knowing how much the boy hated medical bays of any
sort. The healers began to protest, but one look from Qui-Gon
silenced them.

He wasn't about to take any more chances. Not with anything; not
ever again.

Several hours after his removal from the bacta, Obi-Wan was
sleeping peacefully in their shared quarters and Qui-Gon made
sure he was kept warm beneath a virtual cocoon of wraps and
thermal sheets. He kept himself busy, preparing a light version
of the boy's favorite lunch; some quinaline tea and taba fruit,
maybe a bit of frozen sweet cream for dessert if Obi-Wan had the
appetite for it. He glanced over at the sleepy face nestled
against the pillow and Qui-Gon's throat tightened to the point of
nearly choking him.

How close he'd come to losing his padawan and there was nothing
to blame but his own pride. He was a damned fool he swore, more
so when the boy's painful confession came to mind.

Qui-Gon swallowed hard at the memory. It meant nothing, he told
himself; Obi-Wan couldn't possibly have been serious. The boy
was terrified, they both were; and they would be able to talk
this over rationally once the boy recovered. I should be whipped
for such un-Jedi like actions, Qui-Gon thought angrily; taking
advantage of his padawan's natural affections for his own selfish
purposes. He would have to make amends, and plenty of them, but
luckily it now seemed he had time and enough to make them. Thank
the Force.

Qui-Gon heard a stirring from the pallet and moved toward it,
gently tugging a bit of coverlet away from his padawan's face.
"Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan blinked sleepily, his voice hoarse from disuse.
"Master?"

"Yes, Obi-Wan, I am here." Qui-Gon bit back the urge to shout
with joy. Instead, he reached down and gently stroked back a bit
of sweat-damp hair that was falling onto Obi-Wan's forehead.
"How are you feeling, my padawan?"

Obi-Wan peered at him owlishly, as if unsure of where he was and
what he was doing there. "Alive. I feel very . . . alive."
Surprised tone.

Qui-Gon smiled indulgently at him. "That's good. Do you feel
any pain, any discomfort? I had you taken out of the medi-unit,
but if you need . . ."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, no pain at all," he said quickly,
his distaste for medi-units plainly showing. "I'm just . . . a
bit surprised that's all. I could have sworn I was going to
die." Slightly disturbed expression. "I mean, I thought for
certain that I was."

The knot tightened in Qui-Gon's throat again. "You came very
close, my Obi-Wan. We will talk about that later, but for now, I
have some food here for you. Bacta treatments are infamous for
stimulating hunger, so you cannot tell me you have no desire to
eat."

Obi-Wan bit his lip, then smiled weakly. "I guess I could eat a
little."

Qui-Gon smiled in reply and retrieved the lunch tray from the
dining area. Helped Obi-Wan sit up and gently coaxed him to eat
the entire lunch, one bite at a time. Made small talk all the
while, not once mentioning their misadventure in the hanger.

Obi-Wan nodded and continued to eat, remaining silent even when
Qui-Gon told him that Yoda had sent a message to him that
morning, suggesting that after Obi-Wan's recovery they take a
short holiday on Ovbra where the Queen, an old friend of Qui-
Gon's, had offered them a stay on one of her private islands to
the south.

"Nothing but beaches and sunshine, and if you like, we can always
visit the palace itself, for as you know Her Majesty is quite
fond of you and . . ." Qui-Gon couldn't help but smile at Obi-
Wan's suddenly horrified expression. The Queen *was* fond of
them, just perhaps a bit too much so. "All right," he said
soothingly. "Just the beach then. How does that sound?"

Obi-Wan nodded slowly. Looked down at his hands and sighed.
"Very good, Master. It . . . it all sounds very good."

"Then it is settled." Qui-Gon reached out a tentative hand and
stroked Obi-Wan's hair again. Lightly ran his fingers along the
boy's delicate features and marveled at the flush that filled the
pale cheeks at his touch.

He hesitated. "Obi-Wan ..." he began, but stopped.

No, now was not the time to discuss what had happened in the
hanger, that was in the past, and there was still more healing to
be done. Whatever promises or confessions made would be
discussed, but later.

But the blush deepened as Obi-Wan looked up, his expression a
combination of hope and dread. "Yes, Master?"

Qui-Gon blinked away the burn that stung his eyes. "I'm glad that
you chose to live, my padawan." Gentle tone, hoping against hope
it conveyed a small portion of the true relief and joy he felt.

But the disappointment in the boy's features was more than
evident. "Yes, Master," he sighed. "I am also glad to be alive."
Whispered. "I guess."

"Good." Qui-Gon felt a shiver of relief snake down his spine.
An awkward moment had passed and it was all for the best.
"Sleep, now my padawan. We will leave for Ovbra in the morning."

"Yes, Master." The boy sighed again and slid back beneath the
blankets.

Qui-Gon smiled at him and took care to dim the lights on his way
to the common room where he'd spend a good portion of the rest of
the evening in much needed meditation. It was for the best he
thought again, as he made his way out of the boy's room . . .
best for them both.

========

The sun was warm and bright on the beachfront of Serlos, the
largest of Ovbra's famous Eight Southern Islands. The sand was a
powder-fine mixture of pink and white grains and the water was
clean, warm and a very vibrant blue. Shade was provided by the
long rows of lapis trees that lined the beachfront and there
wasn't a cloud to be seen for miles.

It would have been paradise Qui-Gon thought ruefully, if not for
the unhappy padawan at his side. It wasn't one of the usual
sulks or tempers that he'd grown to expect from a youth of Obi-
Wan's age, but a strange sadness that had settled in over the
usually happy, active boy. Obi-Wan was still the same
intelligent, alert student he always was, but something within
him, something vital, had disappeared.

It hurt Qui-Gon to see it. Normally Obi-Wan would be in the
ocean swimming from sunrise until Qui-Gon had to literally drag
him from the water, but instead, the boy sat in the shade with
his knees drawn up to his chest, looking out over the waves, his
expression sad and drawn. He'd been quiet the entire trip over,
silently curled up in the navigator's chair, staring out over the
stars, even declining the captain's offer to let him fly the ship
part of the way there, something Qui-Gon had never seen before.

Qui-Gon tried to lure his padawan out of his reverie by various
means, but had failed each and every time. Soon found himself
stuck on the same beach, day after day, with a quiet, sad looking
boy at his side, moving little and speaking less.

But it was his duty to keep trying to coax the boy out of his
silence, come what may. "The water looks very fine today,
padawan. Warm and beautiful." Gently, not wishing to push, but
letting Obi-Wan know he was there nonetheless.

Obi-Wan nodded slowly. "Yes, but I'm not in the mood for
swimming right now." Distracted tone. "Perhaps later, Master."

Qui-Gon bit his lip, quelling his frustration. "Well, can you
think of anything you'd like to do? There are many amusements
here, padawan. The Royal aquarium isn't too far away, or we can
visit the wild bird sanctuary you enjoyed so much the last time
we were here. We can use the sea-craft her Majesty lent us." He
hesitated. "You may even drive it if you'd like."

The boy didn't budge. "No, thank you. I'd just like to sit
here, if that's all the same with you, Master."

Qui-Gon sighed. "All right, but it is your vacation, Obi-Wan. I
think you should use your time here wisely and not spend too much
of it in such quiet contemplation. We don't know when we'll get
another such opportunity to do nothing."

"Yes, I know." Another sigh. "But . . . " Obi-Wan shut his
eyes tightly and seemed to struggle for the words. "I'm just
thinking over some things. Some things that have recently
happened and . . . and . . . "

Qui-Gon swallowed past the tightness in his throat. "About what
happened in the hanger, Obi-Wan?"

The boy nodded. Opened his mouth as if to speak, then clamped it
shut and shrugged miserably. "Yes, but if you don't want to, I
suppose it can . .."

"No, this is the time to talk." Qui-Gon interrupted gently. "Even
though it may be uncomfortable, we must make things clear between
us."

Obi-Wan stiffened, but his features remained composed and he
nodded in reply. Qui-Gon felt gingerly over their link, but for
the most part, the boy was shielded to him. He could sense
nothing but the faintest traces of disappointment mixed with an
overwhelming feeling of unhappiness.

He sighed. "Now, about what happened in the hanger, I ..." Qui-
Gon hesitated, then struggled to find the words he needed.

How could he possibly express what he felt in his heart without
hurting his padawan further? How could he dream of keeping such
a promise, the promise of a lifebond, to one so young? Even if
it wasn't forbidden by the Code, tying a youth to an old man for
life was wrong, no matter how much he loved, needed or desired
him. Obi-Wan would most certainly regret it, perhaps not right
away, but in the years ahead, of which he now, thankfully, had
many more of.

He peered sadly at Obi-Wan, unable, for the first time in his
life to find the right words, his expression doleful. Oh, how he
loved this boy, but how could he . . .

Obi-Wan turned and met his gaze evenly. "I know," he said
quietly, responding to Qui-Gon's silent question. "But I meant
what I said, Master." Hoarsely. "And I know that you only
replied as you did to keep me alive, to give me something that
would make dying next to impossible. Well, it worked, Master.
I'm alive but I cannot say that I'm happy. It . . ." Tremulous
voice. "I'm sorry Master, but what you did was unfair." A wild,
desperate grief filled Obi-Wan's eyes. "It was unfair of you to
trick me like that and make me such a promise, a promise we both
know you could never keep. Especially since . . ."

"Since?" Qui-Gon asked gently.

Obi-Wan buried his head in his arms, his voice muffled. "Since I
still love you and I always will." A sob. "Oh, I wish you had
let me die in that hanger, Master. At least I would never have
lived to see your shame in me."

Qui-Gon stared at him. Shocked. "Is that what you think, my
Obi-Wan? That I'm ashamed of you?" He could no longer help
himself; this had to stop. He reached out and pulled the boy
into arms. Felt a bit of a struggle, but Qui-Gon refused to let
go, instead tightening his grip until he felt Obi-Wan relax in
his arms. The boy was crying and trying not to, coughing as he
gulped for air. "Did you think I would lie to you, my padawan?
That what I said and did was nothing more than a trick?" Qui-
Gon's voice was fierce. "I'm well aware that I made you a
promise, Obi-Wan. A sacred promise and I intend on keeping it."

"Yes, because you have to." The boy was sobbing freely now, no
longer trying to suppress it. "Because your honor demands it."

Qui-Gon shook his head adamantly. "No, my only one, not because
I am obliged to," he murmured. He tilted the boy's face up until
the bright, sorrowful eyes were peering into his own. "It will
only and ever be because I want to. Because I love you more than
I love life itself. Which is the honest truth, may the gods help
me." Without waiting for a reply, he took his padawan's mouth
beneath his own, stroking lightly, feeling the boy start, then
melt against him.

Pulled back to see Obi-Wan looking up at him with the very same
look of dazed wonder and adoration that he'd bestowed upon him in
the hanger. Laughed deeply when Obi-Wan reached up and returned
the kiss with all the passion and wildness of youth and Qui-Gon
surrendered joyfully, pulling him down until they were both
laying atop the warm, soft sands.

Qui-Gon's hesitation disappeared beneath the emotions that
flooded over their bond as their bodies twined together, arousals
pressing through the thin linen of their leggings. "Slowly," he
whispered against the warm flesh of Obi-Wan's throat, as he slid
the clothing off. Sweet smelling, silky skin and oh, it was a
crime what he was doing, but gods, he wanted it as well; there
was no denying this boy he loved. There was only the present,
the now, and Fate had decreed they should live in it. He pulled
away and looked down at the beaming face beneath him. "Slowly,
beloved."

Obi-Wan shook his head, fairly glowing with happiness. "No,
now." Another kiss, then a muffled murmur against his neck. "Now
please, Master."

"No Master here, Obi-Wan. When we are like this, I am Qui-Gon."
He nipped along the boy's chin, his hands still roaming and he
marveled at the softness of Obi-Wan's skin, tracing its
smoothness along sleek ribs, down slim hips and lean thighs.

Received a wriggle and another mischievous look in response.
"All right. *Now* Qui-Gon."

"If that is what you wish, beloved," he replied, smiling. The
slender hips undulated beneath his caresses and Qui-Gon worked
his way down, kissing tenderly as he went. "Tell me what you
want, love. If you desire it, it is yours." More kisses
followed, placed carefully between coltish, trembling legs. "All
you have to do is tell me."

Obi-Wan gasped, then arched beneath his touch. "I . . . I want
you. Please, I need you to show me ... show me that I'm alive."

Qui-Gon groaned against the warm skin of Obi-Wan's thigh. Too
much, too much this beautiful boy who loved him so deeply,
willing to die for him without a thought given to the life he
might never know. Even more courageous, his padawan was willing
to live for him, simply because Qui-Gon had asked him to.

Qui-Gon reached up and kissed him again, running his thumbs along
hardened nipples, delighting in the boy's reaction. Obi-Wan
squirmed beneath his touch, his body lifting and seeking more
contact, even as Qui-Gon pulled him closer still. Scooped the
boy up with one arm around his waist, ground their hips together
as he swallowed the long moan beneath another kiss.

Reached between them and gently ran his hand over the boy's
shaft, slowly circling his thumb over the wetness at its tip.
Obi-Wan gasped into his mouth, and tilted his head back as Qui-
Gon licked and nipped his way down to his navel, sucking greedily
at the small hollow, then tasting the flat plane of skin and bone
between his torso and thigh. Ran shaking fingers through the
fleecy nest of golden hair between the boy's legs, the strands
still soft and silky with youth. Kissed the shuddering tip that
rose to greet him, let the dusky hot velvet rub against his lips,
taking a moment to caress before simply swallowing him whole.

Obi-Wan cried out, clutching at the sand, his hips rising, then
pistoning helplessly as Qui-Gon relaxed, adjusting himself to
the awkward motions, closing his eyes when the salty warmth
filled his mouth, letting the silky drops slide down his throat,
leaving the taste of the sea behind.

Qui-Gon took a deep breath and rested for a moment against Obi-
Wan's thigh. Listened to the call of the sea birds and the wash
of the waves over the sands that surrounded them. Heard his
padawan breathing, felt the pulse that was threading through his
veins and suddenly was more grateful for the gift of life than
he'd ever been before.

The gift of life his Obi-Wan had bestowed upon him, time and time
again.

Looked up through watering eyes and saw that same gratitude shine
from his beloved's eyes. Wondered vaguely what happened when a
life debt went both ways, with two people saving the other's life
through the simple act of existing. Perhaps that's what a
lifebond truly was ... a life debt between two, one that was ever
without end.

He allowed himself to be tugged up into another kiss and held
onto Obi-Wan tightly, swearing over their bond that their time
was just beginning, and their's was a world all their own, one
without equal or end.

A life debt he owed and received, the most wondrous one of all.

========
finis

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