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April, 1633 |
Issue # 35 |
Still Only One Sou |
by Hugh de Pudsey, STRASBOURG -- With His Majesty's mandate to foster more peaceful relations between France and the Holy Roman Empire, and the King himself en route to the Front, Foreign Minister Edouard Grimaud has his hands full. Military reports from Lorraine paint a disastrous picture of French futures in the region, while Habsburg intentions seem to be bent on recovery of the contested area from French hands.
The summit meeting was slated for the third week of April at the Guildhall in Strasbourg, on the eastern side of the Alsace region. Diplomats and ministers of the Holy Roman Empire arrived with suitable ceremony and gravity, followed by the arrival of the French envoys. Both parties paid visits to the other, delivering compliments and diplomatic documents before retiring. This reporter observed candle-light shining in the apartments of both parties until well into the night.
The morning of the meeting was miserable, with a driving rain and cutting wind. Both French and German diplomatic teams met with suitable cordiality and affability before sitting down to work. Foreign Minister Grimaud remarked that his King wished to see an end to the hostilities between the warring States, and to that end his embassy was empowered. Only one issue was denied the table -- French hegemony was to be maintained in the Lorraine region. German diplomats frowned at the stipulation and countered that this may be a problematic issue, in that several Electors had similar interests in the area.
The sticky issue of control of the Lorraine continued to be the lynchpin of the discussions, but in the end no clear resolution was finalized. On the one hand, military operations are likely to continue in the region for at least the summer campaign season. On the other hand, the intensity of operations was contained, in that there will be no increase in troop concentrations. Consequently, the mission was deemed a mixed success. Lorraine continues to be a bone of contention between the powers of France and the Holy Roman Empire.
Likewise, Lieutenant Colonel Pieter Klaszoon Van Amsterdam of the Queen's Own Cuirassiers was gifted with armigerous status as he was Knighted for his efforts an behalf of the Crown. A coat of arms and estate in the Provinces accompanied this honor. It should be noted that Her Majesty shone with pride at the reflected honor this gentleman's service did for her.
The final patents were delivered to two gentlemen sharing nearly identical stories. Sir Augustin Honore de Gascogne and Sir Monfort de Guise were both considered for Baronages in March, but both were declined. Within the past few weeks, both men provided valuable services to the Crown -- AHdG in Paris, through his literary and scientific skills, and MdG on the Front with his military prowess. In a lavish ceremony, and with all due honor, Her Majesty elevated both men to the Peerage with grants of arms and lands as befits Barons of the Realm.
Court Appointments in April
His Majesty Louis XIII, prior to his departure for the Front, offered grave consternation to the people of France and the Royal Bureaucracy by abolishing certain offices. While the actual machinery of the State has not been altered, many of the choicest assignments have been removed. Appeals have been made to the Crown, but no reply has yet been heard. Until further notice, the offices of Playwright in Residence, Court Minstrel, Chief d'Art and Royal Astronomer will be terminated following their current terms.
The civil posts being filled this month were Chancellor and Playwright in Residence. Surprisingly, there were few applicants of note for either position, with JPdA being the only gentleman of name to apply for Playwright. Her Majesty Anne of Austria handed down a handwritten decision naming a gentleman of little distinction for her choice of Playwright. No explanation was given.
Three civil posts are being offered in May, including Minister of War, Minister of Justice and Regimental Chaplains. No gentlemen of note have offered applications to any of these appointments. Applications are now being accepted for the offices of Commissioner of Public Safety and Director of the Royal Lottery, decisions upon which are due in June.
by Rene Descartes, PARIS -- The middle of Spring has turned out to be a most contemplated and productive time for gentlemen of Reason in Paris. No fewer than two submissions to the Royal Academy of Sciences were submitted, one by current member and veteran thinker AHdG, and the other by newcomer SLR. Both are reproduced here for the enjoyment and cogitation of the masses.
An Amusing Theorem of Numbers and Games of Chance, as
Imparted to a Young Lad,
by Augustin, Chevalier de Gascogne, FRAS
For the Edification and Amusement of the Members of the Society, Mathematical
Illustration, with an Application to games of Cards.
Let us first imagine a Tri-Angle of Numbers. The triangle is constructed
as in the Figure below, each Horizontal line being formed from the one above it,
by making every Number in it equal to the Sum of those Above and to the Left of
it, in the row immediately above it; per example, the fourth number in the
fourth line, namely, 20, is equal to 1 + 3 + 6 + 10.
- - - - -
Importance of Loyalty
By Saar L'Rapide, OB
This is a summery of my paper "Importance of loyalty" and contains the
importance of the people's loyalty to the cardinal, the royal family, France,
and most importantly our king. It outlines the negative effects of lack of
loyalty while outlining the benefits of loyalty.
First, I will speak of the negative effects that the lack of loyalty causes.
There are several, to many to list in this summary so I will stick with the most
devastating. One negative effect is efficiency. If everyone was 100%
loyal to our king then all of his commands would be given out faster and done
with more efficiency. The largest negative effect is the strain on our
defenses which makes every french man less safe from our enemies. Lack of
loyalty causes french man to not sign up
for our great army and some people who do join with lack of loyalty will not
fight as vigilantly for King, Cardinal, and country.
The effects of good loyalty is far reaching and almost endless, I will emerge in
only the most important aspects in this summary. One great advantage to
loyalty is atmosphere. If everyone was 100% loyal to king, cardinal, and
country then everyone would be kinder and more open to everyone else making this
a better place to live than it already is. The largest benefit to loyalty
is that our king would be a happier person than he already is and would be able
to worry about more important things
In the end, more loyalty helps everyone. The importance of achieving
additional loyalty in France is endless.
Chevalier AHdG clearly lived up to his well-deserved title this month by reviving the revered Cards & Cups social event. While the event itself was somewhat quiet, and (some say) a bit beneath a man of the Chevalier's stature, it was nonetheless better organized than its predecessor in March. This month, the event was scheduled well in advance to occur at Hunter's, and the managers at the club managed to put together a hearty, if somewhat pedestrian affair.
If there were a fault to this event, it was simply that much of the guest list was away from Paris, fighting at the Front. Indeed, out of ten gentlemen of name who were invited, seven are away from Paris. That makes a somewhat short, if distinguished, guest list.
Sir Augustin hosted the event, with his new Mistress, the sultry (and rather pallid) Natasha Fatale. The two made a handsome couple as they warmly greeted their arriving guests. Colonel Joachim d'Arcy was the first to arrive, ready to enjoy the company with a few bawdy japes and a ready appetite for food and drink. Argante de Berry, Major of the CPC, was the next to arrive with his Mistress, the bountiful Bebe leBrunette. Like JdA, they were in a most effusive mood, talking and laughing throughout the entire affair and naturally gravitating toward the Colonel.
Baron Jean Batt-Bleu, perhaps a little unsteady from his recent brush with the criminal element, was the last to arrive. After perfunctory greetings to all present, the Baron found himself a quiet seat where he was seen in deep conversation with a bottle of Martinique rum for the rest of the evening. Indeed, even the host seemed a bit oblivious to the socializing, having eyes only for his paramour. The two of them never broke eye contact, even when Major de Berry offered a toast to Chevalier de Gascogne.
The party broke up well after nightfall (indeed, it was not long before sunrise), and was deemed a most excellent event all round.
The Paris Derby, one of the most anticipated racing events of the year, has been postponed due to unforeseen circumstances. As His Royal Highness Louis XIII has left Paris (the first time he has done so since the Siege of La Rochelle some ten years gone), race officials have hastily re-scheduled this event for the first week of May.
Keep your eye on this space for future announcements. Should you wish to learn more regarding the Parisian races, their season and other matters, may we suggest the publication "The New Derby."
Week 1: SLR's man Heratio signs his master to join the Frog & Peach.
Week 2: CT joins Red Phillips with new lady LL in tow. He seems quite the swell, what with gregarious talk and freedom with drink. Indeed, Miss LeManley required his assistance in leaving the establishment, having somehow lost her equilibrium between the wine and the rum. The much more sober TLE joins Hunter's but refrains from drinking or excessive socializing. General JBB, meanwhile, toasted his friends' health at Bothwell's.
Week 3: Hunter's becomes the field upon which Cards & Cups is waged. See the article for details.
Week 4: JBB returns to Bothwell's for a post-celebration drink. When the bartender there urged caution, the General replied, "Carousing is what soldiers home from the Front do best, of course!"
by L'Hay Abbott, PARIS -- Spring has brought with it the usual effulgence of precipitation, which has done some harm to the ecclesiastical buildings of the older parts of Paris. It has also brought back one of the Church's favored sons, SLR, from his time abroad. After a successful application to join the Order of St. Benedict, he went straight to work studying Scripture. His only break was at the end of the month, when he penned a submission to the Royal Academy of Sciences, which is reproduced elsewhere.
Likewise, a newcomer to Paris, TLE made a similar appointment to the Benedictines. During his first week in Paris, he visited the Church and tithed generously, before ending the month in sober study of homiletics. It is widely agreed among local theologians that both these young men will go far.
In other news, the first week of this month saw Calvin Hobbs, manservant to PKVA, escorting RlD to the confessional and MdG's man Dudley similarly escorted WMG. During the second week of April, the Church was graced with the attendance of Miss Cherie Baremounde, who was accompanied by Laissez, the manservant of AdA. Father Montessant was called to speak with this man when he had bodily hauled in a few common folk from the streets to point out what he felt was obscene statuary. We are pleased to be able to print that it was only the lackey's rather active imagination.
By Donna d'Everlurn, Romantic Correspondent, PARIS --
Colonel GndL of the Picardy Musketeers has raised the bar for the other
gentlemen of Paris this month with his romantic gallantry. He has sent a love letter from the Front each week to his lady
Gloria laBelle. In
addition, he has arranged to have lavish gifts delivered to her door from some
of the finest shops in Paris. It must be True Love, non?
Rumors abound regarding the amatory prowess of newcomer Caine Tyshalle. If the word on the street is to be believed, he sought out a Mistress whom he knew to be attached, before setting his sights on her. The one he chose was Lola LeManley, who, far from spurning his advances, seemed quite taken with them. No mention was made of her former beau, who is busy at the Front.
Here are the events of the romantic exploits in Paris this month:
Week 1: CT came courting to LL with lavish gifts bundled in his arms. Our sources tell us he was received with open... arms. WMG was gallantly escorted to church by Dudley Doright, MdG's man in Paris.
Week 2: CB is brought to church by AdA's man Laissez. Calvin Hobbs, dogsbody of PKVA, was seen lurking outside several Mistress' homes this week. SSB's man Jacques was seen bearing gifts and letters from his master to EE's door.
Week 3: No significant events.
Week 4: PKVA's lackey Calvin Hobbs is spotted lounging around the front steps of RlD's home. EE received SSB's manservant Jacques Spade as well as the armload of gifts and flowers he bore.
Week 1: AHdG is seen at the local gymnasium, doing deep knee bands and chanting, "Out vis ze bad air, in vis ze good." One wonders where he learned this trick...
Week 2: No significant events.
Week 3: CT successfully trains in rapier at a basic gym while LL sleeps off a wicked hangover.
Week 4: AHdG toils to improve his constitution, while CT lifts stones (fruitlessly) to improve his strength
Ah, Springtime in Paris! In all the civilized world, what better place to be? All Frenchmen's hearts beat stronger and prouder at this time, for Springtime is the Season of Love, and of course Paris is the City of Love! Where else may the discerning gentleman find his choice of the most gifted companions, from the innocent nymph to the woman of the world? In what Provincial towns may one find milkmaids, abbesses, exotic Oriental courtesans and Amazons, all in one convenient location?
Patronize your Red Light District today. It's good for you, and it's good for the economy!
Week 1: JBB practiced his maneuvers in friendly territory. A post-exercise drink signaled the success of the operation.
Week 4: JdA seeks the advice and assistance of a professional in the Arts of Love. Inspired by his repeated lessons, he is seen relaxing with a bevy of beauties and several bottles of champagne.
DISASTER IN LORRAINE
by Aramis de Burgoigne, War Correspondent, (FRONT) -- With the diplomatic personnel of both France and Germany in preparation for this month's Summit, the High Command is swamped with damage control from events on the Front. Most officers in Paris have been unavailable for comment, but here in Lorraine the atmosphere is somewhat different. Indeed, most of the soldier I have spoken with are more than happy to comment.
Before disclosing the comments of these men, however, it may be instructional to learn what events actually transpired to cause such consternation. This reporter was personally present for these events. As you may well know, the effort to sweep the French territory of Lorraine was stalled last month by an ill-timed hesitation caused by the Field Force's commanding officer, General Follie. Because of his insistence that German troops were nowhere near the theatre of operations, a critical delay occurred while the General Staff scrambled for confirmation following sightings of hostile forces.
Following this setback, the General Staff again handed down orders to recommence the sweep, despite cries of dismay from the ranks (even, it is rumored, from the Army Adjutant, Brigadier D'Atonville). Not unpredictably, the enemy had already entrenched themselves a musket-ball's flight away, across field of scrub. II Division, under the command of Brigadier General H. Sympsonne, took the brunt of the blow this month, having been situated across a field from the village of Epinal. His orders were to take and hold the village, in order to use it as a stronghold against Habsburg forces in the area.
The Brigadier selected the Queen's Own Cuirassiers to lead the assault,
holding the Royal North Highland Borderers in reserve. The battle was
fierce and bloody, and many brave French soldiers fell to the volleys of the
Swabian mercenaries holding the village. Before Colonel Monfort de Guise
could call a retreat, Major Alexandro de Gondi was struck from his mount after
his 2nd Squadron had broken into the village square. He was surrounded by
mercenary soldiers as the retreat sounded, and he was left in German custody,
much to the dismay of his men.
Meanwhile, between II Brigade and the city of Nancy, I Brigade was having difficulties of its own. Brigadier General Légume had ordered a cavalry charge to run down the Habsburg forces located half a mile east of their position, selecting the Dragoon Guard as the lead unit, backed up by the Royal Marines. The DG have only just lost their beloved Colonel Xavier de Saint-Claire this month, and were still acclimatizing themselves to the new commander, appointed by (and nephew of) General Follie himself. Ordering the regiment to charge, the new Colonel Bretagne managed (rather miraculously, it seems) to survived, despite the carnage wrought by German cannon- and musket-fire. The Guard wound up in complete disarray, fleeing the field after suffering crippling losses, including the regimental colors. The Marines stood firm despite the disordered flight of their comrades, and were soon rejoined by the 1st Squadron of the DG.
Lieutenant Colonel Panache Dugas, outraged by the loss of the colors, had quickly rallied his men and grimly resolved to avenge their loss. His demeanor was quite cool, however. This reporter overheard him remarking, "You know, Volubilis, that reduut is beginning to irritate me. Perhaps you and I and a few of the more well-mannered men could have a picnic there."
Unfortunately, just as the DG had reinforcements, so, it seems, did the
Habsburgs. As the four hardy battalions closed into musket range, they
were greeted with withering fire from the German lines, backed up with the
report of cannonade. Acting Colonel Jean-Louis Burdett personally led his
forces straight into the jaws of Hell itself, as the very turf exploded around
them. The men were forced to retreat from the devastation of the barrage,
however, when JLB was dropped from his mount with a musket-ball in the breast,
an injury all took to be mortal. As Fortune would have it, however, the
Acting Colonel was merely wounded, but captured in the mêlée that ensued.
The military situation was much less dire nearer the city of Nancy, where III Division remained on watch. Apart from minor skirmishes and one or two ill-timed intrigues, much of the time was spent in idle oblivion of the bloody battles raging in the area. Indeed, several members of the General Staff amused themselves by staging an opulent feast for themselves and a few honored guests from Nancy itself, even calling in members of the Archduke Leopold's Cuirassiers to act as stewards and cooks for the event.
And to whom does the weary soldier give the credit for this month's savagery? Might it be the Habsburgs? No, it would not. Look instead to the streets of Nancy, where the General Staff lounges in drunken revelry and cronyism. For it is there that the men of this embattled region look in vain for salvation from the Hell of battle.
Regimental News for April
by Yves M. d'Egmann, Military Correspondent, PARIS -- With the mixed success of the Strasbourg talks (see Headline News) France again prepares to go to war over the Lorraine. While the level of hostility has not been altered, the struggle continues for this key region. The High Command, under the order of the Field Marshal, issued the following Order of Battle for Field Force 1: Summer. Keep in mind that, following last month's changes to the military structure, this Order of Battle was selected by standing Brigade, rather than as a patchwork of disparate Regiments. Since the Brigades may be unfamiliar to our readers, the regimental components are listed as well.
The new deployment for Summer Campaign is designated as an Assault designed to dislodge Habsburg forces from Lorraine. What follows is the established Order of Battle. Any entry marked "TBA" means that no decision has yet been made, and volunteers are encouraged to speak up by May.
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1st Field Army |
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General: TBA |
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Army Adjutant: TBA |
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Quartermaster General: TBA |
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Army Provost: TBA |
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1st Division |
2nd Division |
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Lieutenant General: JBB |
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Division Adjutant: TBA |
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Heavy Brigade |
2nd Brigade of Foot |
4th Brigade of Foot |
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Brigadier General: TBA |
Brigadier General: TBA |
Brigadier General: TBA |
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Brigade Major: TBA |
Brigade Major: TBA |
Brigade Major: TBA |
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Positions being filled in April were Divisional Adjutants, Advocate de Militaire and Aides to the Inspectors General. Of these, JLB applied for Division Adjutant, 1st Division, but the application arrived too late. No other gentlemen applied for this month's openings.
Positions currently accepting applications include Academy Instructors, Aide to the Crown Prince and the various Regimental Adjutants. Once again, no gentlemen of name have applied for these posts.
The summer campaign is traditionally a rather slow time for military appointments, and so it is this year. No positions will be offered for application in June.
Week 1: ArdB, JdA
Week 2: ArdB, JdA
Week 3:
Week 4: ArdB
Caine Tyshalle, popularity known as the Blade of Tyshalle, grew up in the slums just outside of Paris. He did not have much friends and did not really care one bit and felt that they should take a flying leap anyway. Afterall, the only good friend was a dead friend. Don't get Caine wrong, he cared about his friends, but too many friends had stabbed him in the back, literally. Caine got his break when his mother died and his poor old bastard father, illegitimate might be a better word but his father really was a bastard, sent him into Paris and told him not to see him until he made something of himself.
Of course his father also told him that he expected him to die in an alleyway somewhere, and actually wished he would die so his obligation to pay an allowance would go away. He was only doing this for Caine out of a promise to her on her death bed. Caine was not like most twelve year olds, he actually liked the smell of death and the way a man or women smells when their sh** drips down a leg at the moment when he kills them. That is why for a few days after his mother's death he hung around and took in the smell of her death.
So, gathering his musty old clothing, a rusty kitchen knife and the money allotted to him by his bastard father, he headed towards Paris. On his way there he had to pass through a rough dark and decrepid alley that had that smell that he loved, the smell of death. Of course the smell of himself was that of his dead mother, so he sort of already smelled of death, but the smell in the alley was worse. It was pungent even to his desensitized nose.
Halfway through the tunnel he was approached by two shady looking men, about half again as tall as he. That is not what bothered him though 'cause a brawl always gave him pleasure. It was the one thug behind him, that now was obvious where the smell had come from. For a twelve year old, this may seem hard at this point whether he can even live through the first minute, but Caine is not like everyone else and that is what will save him many times. Caine loves this type of sh**, in fact he lives for it. This is what makes him Caine.
Caine knows that in a fight, there is fighting and then there is fighting. The first breed of fighter is concerned with winning or losing, and the second don't care whether they win or lose, either one is fine cause they just want to have a good fight. These three men are of the first variety and only care if they win, 'cause losing in their business means that you are dead. This is where they are wrong, cause they are already dead. One starts to talk, Caine thinks it is the leader, and Caine knows he has him, 'cause if ya are talking you are not thinking of fighting.
"Look here men, another wimpy bastard sent by a bastard father. I suppose he has ..."
And you guess it, that rusty knife, the one that Caine brought with him from his shack in the slums, is in his hand in a sort of sabre-like grip and slices open the leader's jugular vein, he sh**s himself before he falls to the ground washing caine's bare feet with his life's blood and his sh** adds to the aroma of the place. Smelly behind Caine grabs him and has him in a reverse bear hug lifting him off the ground. Caine is forced to drop the rusty kitchen knife. The other guy in front takes this opportunity of apparent weakness of Caine to run towards him with rapier in hand. Slips on the dead man's hot milky blood and cracks open his skull. He adds his own death smell to the pot.
In one smooth motion, Caine whips his head back cracks smelly's skull, elbows him in the gut. As he is lowered to the ground, he stomps on smelly's foot and is satisfied with the pop of joints in that foot. Turns around and knees him in the groin, which causes the big man to pee himself, and the wetness of tears to drip from his eyes. Caine deftly slips his right hand to the man's sword belt and runs his neck along his own sabre. Wiping the sabre blade on the smelly man's tunic, Caine buckles the sword on his waist and exits the alley. Leaving the rusty knife behind him he enters Paris and is awed by the city's beauty and knew that his life would soon be better.
Major D'Arc's manservant Laissez was seen spitting off the Pont des Artes again this month. This time, however, he began laying bets with others to see if they could best him in this unusual pastime. Both Dudley Doright (MdG's man) and SLR's dogsbody Heratio were observed loitering at Laissez' request, the lot of them engaged in this distasteful activity. Has the good Major no control over his man?
Likewise, Jacque Spade has been busy at his master's behest, moving his worldly possessions into an oxcart bound for the Provinces. It is rumored that the newly-knighted SSB plans to leave Paris upon his return from the Front. Can it be true?
A local solicitor was honored to represent Baron JBB in his quest to purchase a home in Paris. The two were seen viewing properties throughout the City.
Those gentlemen paying more attention to their appearance and apparel are "in" with the ladies in '33. Last season's brocades are no match for the crushed velvet and rich colors of this season! Have you ever wondered who among the gentlemen of Paris measure up? Look no further! The Mistresses of Paris have been polled regarding the snappiest dressers, and here is their verdict:
Let's not even mention, shall we?: Anyone not listed below.
Jean, stop the coach!: ArdB
Police Blotter
Paris has rarely been as well-behaved as it seems to be in these days. What with the miserable rain and wet, chill winds, few gentlemen seem to be reveling in the typical skullduggery of the season. Nevertheless, just as things looked most gloomy for the constabulary of Paris, Baron JBB came to the rescue.
It seems that, during a casual stroll down a dimly-lit, rat-infested and footpad-prone part of the City (curiously hard by the shops of ill-repute and the gambling hells), the good Baron was set upon by a half-dozen rough chaps who demanded his money. Despite that every man jack of them were armed to the teeth, and at least a head taller, the General resolved to show the lot a damned good thrashing. Unfortunately, as the General attempted to unsheathe, he was rendered insensible with a blow to the back of the head. The hooligans took to their heels, splitting up so as to foil pursuit.
The Constabulary wishes to remind gentlemen to avoid bearing heavy cash purses when inadvertently passing near the houses of negotiable virtue. In the meantime, they wish it to be known that no effort is being spared to apprehend the malefactors.
Retiring to the provinces of note are the following gentlemen: AaG, AdB, FR, GAdA, GaS, GdR, GlS, GSt, GVM, HdC, JaT, JdM, JF, MdR, PdLS, PLT, RoM, SdG, SdS, SK, SG, TlC, XdP and XSC. Good luck to all of these gentlemen in their new provincial lives.
CPV and GiS
From the Court Minstrel:
Pourfuivant to His Moft Catholic
and Royal Majefty's intention to honour certain heroes of the Front, I make bold
to offer for the perufal of the cognofcenti of Paris:
A Sonnet Upon Some of the Valourous of March
by Colonel le Chevalier Augustin Honore de Gascogne,
Poet Laureate to the Royal Court
O, gentle reader, join with me
Plea from a Concerned Gentleman
In singing praise of brav'ry seen,
Of those, whose actions valiantly
Gave foes the red, 'midst fields of green.
Let Burdett's valour hearts inspire,
When to the charge all faces turn.
De Benedictis, cross the mire:
Foes will a bitter lesson learn.
Now, light from d'Arc: a clever ruse--
Sausages-Frankfurt, soldiers please.
But whose name spurs to heights my Muse:
With Medaille lauded, our de Guise!
Let hearts be full of pride and praise
For heroes, to whom cups we raise.
To Her Most Illustrious and
Radiant Majesty, my humble Greetings
Dear Madam;
It has come to the Attention of ev'ry Gentleman and Lady of Culture who resides
within the blessed Pale of our Great City that the Post of Director of the
Theatre Royal, along with that of Playwright-in-Residence are to be eliminated.
I humbly beg your Gracious Highmost to re-consider.
These are difficult Times, to be sure; and your Dutiful Citizens are most
cognizant of the Justice, Plenitude and Protection both your Grace and his Most
Right Royal Majesty bestow upon them, and we are most Ebulliently Thankful. We
understand the pressing Importance of maintaining a stout & devout Military
Might. We are aware, my luminescent Queen, of the need for Funding for this
Power, what with these latest Threats to our National Security! Yet, most
Brilliant Jewel of the Blessed Throne, your humble and respectful Citizenry
would request your Radiant Grace to cast one most sparkling & wise Eye to
the Posterity of your People: can one conceive of the Greek Civilization without
Sophocles? Or the mighty Romans without Seneca?
You have lifted a great People and a great Civilization to e'en Greater Heights,
most Supreme and Regal Dame, through the tireless and gifted Inspiration of your
Royal Self and his Most Noble Regal Majestic Suzerainshipness. Let us further
glorify Your Majesties in turn, as best befits You Both: through the Ageless
Voice of Artistic Endeavour.
We Entreat you; Request you; Ask of you--nay, we Beg of you, Exalted
Majesty--retain the Service and Offices of the Playwright-in-Residence and
Director of the Theatre Royal.
Your most h'mbl & Ob'd't Servant,
Alfredo d'Arc
Major, ii Battalion
King's Musketeers
Song from the Front
This song has been heard a lot lately in the environs of Nancy. Of unknown
origins, there are many verses. Here are a few:
O, what a mighty army:
The soldiery of France!
They march into a battle
Like they're going to a dance!
Why are they so carefree?
Why so full of cheer?
They swell with pride to fight beside
A Royal Musketeer!
Just look at those stout-hearted lads,
The men of the Twenty-seventh:
They fight like devils straight from Hell
And swear like f**kin' peasantth.
Why are they so happy?
Why so full of cheer?
Each one in turn thinks he might learn
To be a Musketeer!
Or yonder scarlet soldier,
He is with the Cardinal's Guard;
He's mangy and he stinks because
His life is very hard.
But why is he so cheerful?
Why is he so gay?
It's just that he thinks he might be
A Musketeer someday!
O, look at yonder farm-boy
A-toiling in the land,
With blisters on his feet
And he's got calluses on his hand.
Why is he so happy?
Why is he so gay?
It's just that he dreams he might be
A Musketeer someday!
See that German soldier
Clutching at his breast,
Searching for the musket-ball
That lodg'd within his chest.
Why is he so happy...?
Why is he so gay...?
...He's just so thrilled to have been killed
By a Musketeer today!
O, there is no finer army than
The soldiery of France!
They march into a battle
Like they're going to a dance.
Why are they so happy?
Why so full of cheer?
They swell with pride to fight beside
King Louis' Musketeers!
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And so another turn ends. I must say, you folks have made this a very enjoyable experience for me, and something I look forward to each month. Your wit and energy make this a fun thing to do. I'd like to thank all of you for your input and interest in Death Before Dishonor.
During the summer of this year I'll be traveling to England for vacation with my wife and youngest daughter, where we will spend about two weeks. During this time, I will be away from my computer and unavailable for questions or comments. Our departure date is to be August 4. Since this is the case, I've prepared a slight change to the orders and returns deadlines. They are these:
Orders Due for May, 1633: June 2
Returns Due for May, 1633: June 16
Orders Due for June, 1633: June 30
Returns Due for June, 1633: July 14
Orders Due for July, 1633: July 24
Returns Due for July, 1633: August 3
Orders Due for August, 1633: August 18
We will assume a two-week turnaround from there. For those of you paying attention, this means a slightly truncated turnaround for the July turn. This information will also be posted to the Yahoo Groups site on the calendar.
While we're on the subject, you are welcome to use the Yahoo site's capacity for storing files and the like. If you wish to establish a "real-time" posting schedule for events or anything, please feel free to do so. Only, please be respectful. Don't delete the posts of another without consulting them first.
On another personal note, I'd like to personally thank my wife Vickie for the marvelous birthday gift she gave to me, in commemoration of the rebirth of DBD. It is a beautiful, elegant and sturdy reproduction of a 17th century Pappenheimer rapier. One of these days, I'll post a picture of it to the site. It's gorgeous!
Orders Deadline for May, 1633:
June
2, 2002