You might be a cyclist if…..

1

You give your kids Cliff bars for their lunch because that’s the only food left in the pantry.

2

You spend as much time discussing waxing/shaving as you do about football with your friends.

3

You receive Christmas and Birthday cards from bike shops.

4

You trade in your car or motorcycle as a deposit on your new bike.

5

You wake your wife up at 3:00am to tell her your cadence feels funny.

6

You think Third World Aid is a new sports drink.

7

You choose roof racks instead of Anti-lock brakes as the free accessory on your new car.

8

You try to get out of the seat and stand as you drive up a hill.

9

You own your car but are making payments on your bike.

10

Your tires on your bike cost more than on your car tires.

11

You hear someone had a crash and your first question is "How's the bike?".

12

You have stopped even trying to explain to your other half why you need more than one bike.

13

You see nothing wrong with discussing the connection between hydration and urine color.

14

You find your Shimano touring shoes to be more comfortable and stylish than your new cross trainers.

15

You have more money invested in your bike clothes than in the rest of your combined wardrobe.

16

Biker chick means black lycra, not leather, and a Cannondale, not a Harley.

17

"Four cheeseburgers and four large French Fries" is for you.

18

You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young thing ride by, and the first thing you check out is his or her bicycle.

19

You empathize with the roadkill.

20

Despite all that winter weight you put on, you'll take off weight by buying titanium components.

21

You use wax on your chain, but not on your legs (girls).

22

You use wax on your chain, AND on your legs (boys).

23

Your current bike is older than your grown up children.

24

Your first course when you eat out is a large banana split.

25

You yell "Car!" when passing another car, and "Bump!" when you see a pothole - while driving your car.

26

You yell "Left", "Right", and "Stopping" to your spouse when giving directions in the car.

27

Your bike has more miles on its computer then your car's odometer.

28

Your bikes are worth more than your car.

29

You buy a mini-van and immediately remove the rear seats to allow your bike(s) to fit.

30

When you move to a new area the first thing you look for is a bike shop.

31

You take your bike along when you shop for a car - just to make sure the bike will fit inside.

32

You view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade components.

33

You clean your bike(s) more often then your house.

34

You're on the Board of Directors for a Bike Club.

35

You spend weeks during the summer spraying arrows on the sides of roads.

36

You and your significant other have and wear identical riding clothes.

37

You put your bike in your car and the value of the total package increases by a factor of 4 (or better).

38

You can't seem to get to work by 8:30 AM, even for important meetings, but you don't have any problems at all meeting your mates at 5:30 AM for a hundred-miler.

39

You can tell your other half, with a straight face that it's to hot to mow the lawn and then bike off for a century.

40

You regard inter-gender discussion of your genital pain/size/shape/utility as normal.

41

You know your cadence, but you have no idea what your speed is.

42

When driving your car you lean over the steering wheel, just like an aerobar.

43

Your kids bring a rear derailleur to "Show & Tell".

44

Your car sits outside your garage because your garage is full of bikes and cycling gear.

45

Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between Presta and Schrader.

46

You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any hanky-panky activities.

47

You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.

48

There is no time like the present, for postponing what you ought to be doing, and go bicycling instead.

49

You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.