I was at the movies the other day, and I was waiting outside for the movie to start, and I'm getting ready to smoke the cigarette. So I look for my lighter, and I can't fucking find it! Where the hell is my damn lighter?! I left it at home, or some shit.
Anyway, there's this broad, right? And she's leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette, trying to look, cool, but I know better. She looks faux intellectual and bitter. Plus, she's wearing a scarf, and I hate bitches who wear scarves.
But I need to light my cigarette, otherwise I'm gonna freak out and put my fist through somebody's head. So I straighten my shirt and I fix my hair up a little, ya know... no big deal. Then I saunter on over to the dumb broad and I ask her for a light. She gives me, Vinnie, the fucking cold shoulder!
She totally turns her fucking head and rolls her eyes. What the fuck, man?! I know she's all frigid and has never had a pleasing sexual encounter with a man, but that's no reason to blame me!
If she jumped into the sack with me, she'd have no complaints, that's for damn sure.
But I would never fuck a broad who wears a scarf. Well, maybe if she asked me real nice, I'd give her a pity fuck. But that's it.
So I get in her face and I tell her to give me a light otherwise there's gonna be trouble, and she totally fucking maces me and runs inside the theater!
Then she gets security and I get hauled off to jail for the night, because of this stupid fucking bitch, man! I can't fucking believe this shit!
If I ever see this bitch again, I'm gonna beat her fucking face in!
Vinnie |
