A Turning Point in my Life
by Joy Myrn R. Gitamondoc
Not a day passed that I didn't envy those who had younger brothers or sisters. It would be nice to have someone to take care of and be blessed with a new baby in our family. I kept asking my mother to have another baby because I started to get lonely in our home. For eight long years, I have been the only child in our family so I realized that all I wished for is a baby.
God had been so good to me that he didn't fail my wish. My mother was so happy and excited upon receiving the news from our doctor. Imagine! She already had five miscarriages and we thought she had a very slim chance to get pregnant again or even never. But we were proven wrong. The pregnancy test was clear proof that I'd be having a baby sister. I couldn't describe and express what I felt. All I knew was happiness filled my very soul. It was overflowing to the point that I didn't know how to react. I was just so excited to have a sister.
The time came when things changed. As the baby arrived, I felt I didn't have a place in our home anymore. Everybody's attention was on my sister. I got left out, so out of place. I used to have all the attention. They kept on pampering me, buying things for me, pinching my cheeks till I got pissed off. I used to be the center of attention in our family. And then, here comes a baby who would take away from me all that I have been enjoying for eight years. No way! I couldn't accept that.
I was so angry with her. Every time my mother asked me to prepare her milk or change her diapers, how I wanted to disobey her but still I continued to act as the good big sister though deep inside my emotions were already against her. I considered her my silent enemy even if she had done nothing wrong. Once, I almost slept literally on the baby. I got scolded because of that and the more I hated her. I felt she was more important that I am. Insecure? Jealous? Well, I guess so but I didn't admit at first because I couldn't believe it. Before, I was so excited to have a sister. And then, now that I had one I'm so annoyed at her especially when she cried all night and everybody had to wake up to see if she was okay. So I decided to contradict all that was for her. That was why I got scolded more often. And I blamed her for this.
There was a time when I couldn't take it anymore so I confronted my mother. I asked her if she still loved me. She smiled and said that she did and would never cease to love me. But I protested that I didn't see it that way. The baby got all the attention and I got nothing. I started crying. I couldn't stand the paint to be an outcast in my family. My mother didn't expect that I'd feel that way towards my sister. She explained to me that they're doing what was best for my sister because she was still so small and vulnerable. But as for me, I knew already how to take care of myself. She reminded me that their treatment had been the same when I was still small. No more, no less. She played no favorites. It was just that my sister needed more time and attention than I did. My sister needed to be taken care of. I haven't realized that at all.
My God! I can't believe that I had been too selfish. I didn't even remember the fact I was her big sister. Instead, I was being so immature, childish, and narrow-minded. A total fool! How could I do that to my sister? How could I turn away from her? How could I get angry at her? She's so innocent, so young, so delicate. From that time on, I started to look at my sister in a different way. I didn't see her as my enemy but as my friend. I started to care for her. I started to like her. I started to love her.
When she said her first "ate", I was so overjoyed. I was so proud of her. I was amused at her. I got very fond of her. And it was only then that I realized how important she is to me! I won't let anyone hurt her because I love her so much. And now, I understand and see things more clearly. It was indeed a turning point in my life that made me a better person - a more responsible and understanding sister.