Nothing To Hide
You roll over away from the light. Damn your brother, he always does that when you get a room facing east. Hold up, facing east? You�ve been here for three years, and never has your room faced east. Not once. So why did it now?
You shift a little, wanting to find out who shifted the apartment, and roll into something soft, yet hard. Something human.
Opening your eyes just a little, despite the fact that light streamed in the window now behind you, you came face to face with the youngest member of the group. The other guitarist, Billy.
And it all comes rushing back to you. The whole fucking thing.
�Joooeeeellll.� Why did everyone whine to you when they were bored? You never whined to them� Okay, so you did. But why couldn�t they go whine to each other? You turned to face the source of the boredom.
Billy. �And before you ask why I�m not whining to Benji or Paul, they�re gone. They went out. To meet those two girls.� He frowned.
Okay, so you were gay. And you knew it, and your brother, twin brother mind you, was not. But he was fine with it. As were the others in the band.
But why was Billy frowning? Surely he was still as straight as ever. It would be too much your luck that one person who really wanted all of the sudden was gay. Too much like fiction. Too much like a movie.
�Um, okay�� you turned away from him to again stare at whatever was on the TV. Which you hadn�t been thinking of in the first place.
Damn it, why couldn�t life be like a movie? You wondered, to yourself, and silently.
Or so you thought. �Why the fuck would you want that?� It was Billy again.
�Eh� Cause it all works out in the end?� you responded timidly.
�What do ya mean?� he sat down next to you, a beer in hand. No, two beers in hand. He shoved one at you.
Taking the beer, you tipped it back expertly, taking enough to convince anyone you actually liked the stuff, but not enough to gag yourself. Personally, you found the stuff disgusting.
�Jooooeeelll.� Oh god. Not again.
�What Billy?� you asked, your annoyance showing in your voice.
�Um�� he never finished. His sentence became a bunch of giggles.
Oh, god. You thought. He�s drunk.
That in it�s self wasn�t a surprise. One of the other three were always drunk. But it was only� You turned your head slightly, enough to see the clock. 9:10. Much too early to be �giggling drunk� as you so kindly liked to call it.
But giggly drunk Billy was. Turning back to look at your drunken friend, you had to smile at him. He was making face at you, his eyes glazed over, but still holding that slightly intelligent look that comes back after some many drinks.
�Jooooeeeellll� yer so purty�� Billy was mumbling.
You looked at him for a second, your eyes showing your confusion. �Billy? Are you alright?� you asked, concerned.
��Corse I am, Joely� Jussa �lil dunk� Drunk�� his eyes went in and out of focus, almost laughingly so.
�Ah� I can see that.� You half smiled at him. �But seriously, �Lil Bill, whats up? Why all the alcohol?�
�Cause I�m sick �n� tired of havin� ta pretend� an� I aint gotta do tha� when�m drunk.� He smirked, like he was the smartest person in the world.
You raised an eyebrow. What the hell was he talking about? �Pretend, Billy? What�d ya mean?� Despite the fact he was drunk, you were curious.
�I�m gay.� His voice was flat. Like every bit of alcohol was suddenly gone from his body.
For a bit, you just stare at him, wonderingly. �Uh� Bill, man� If you hadn�t noticed, so am I. Why keep it a secret?�
He shrugged. Obviously he wasn�t as drunk as you thought� Maybe that glint of intelligence was real�
�Billy?� you questioned. He hadn�t said anything. Just that one shrug.
He turned and looked at you, his eyes questioning. Okay, he defiantly wasn�t drunk. �Why?� you knew he�d understand, no elaboration necessary.
�Because� Because I have been for o long, keeping it a secret� Never felt� right� to just come out�� He stopped to think.
�Then why tell me?� you couldn�t help but question.
�Because�� trailed off, looking up at you. Finally he sat up, so you were face to face on the couch. Still staring into your eyes, he leaned in the, closing the little bit of space that still separated the two of you, and pressed his lips to yours.
At first, it was tentative, almost as if he was scared you�d push him away. But you didn�t. Instead, you�d leaned forward, and soon found yourself straddling him as you kissed, him laying back on the couch. How you had gotten to that point, you didn�t know. But you were still kissing.
A few more beers, which you drank with out really noticing the taste. Maybe it was because of Billy and you, kissing and cracking jokes. Maybe it was because by the time midnight rolled around, you were in bed with Billy. Probably having a little too much fun.
As your eyes scan the sleeping face of your now-lover, his eyes open, scaring the shit out of you.
�Joel?� he questioned, sleepily.
�Morning, Billy�� you half smiled at him, yawning.
He chuckles lowly, and looks at you, his eyes slightly hurt. �Aww, little Bil, somethin the matter?� you question, running a hand along the side of his face, brushing the bleached out locks from his eyes.
The hurt lightens at this, and you can imagine he was thinking you didn�t remember. You lean over and kiss him, just lightly, but his tongue snakes out and runs along your mouth, parting your lips and entering.
He rolls on top of you, straddling your waist, kissing you deeply. It might have gone farther if your twin brother hadn�t barged in on you.
Reminding yourself he was your twin brother, your only twin brother, you kept yourself from lunging at him from interrupting.
�Morning! Guess what?� He bounced towards you. Oh god, you groaned, looking up at Billy. He cocked an eyebrow at you, and you mouthed �sugar�. His eyes crinkled in stifled laughter.
�Benji�� you groan. �Go the fuck away.�
�But Joooeeelll.� You have to wonder if all the guys took the same whining class in high school. You never took it, you know that much. But fucking damn. They all sound the same when they whine like that.
�No, Ben, leave. PLEase.� You accent the first syllable in �please�.
He gets the drift, and smiles, leaving you, and goes to bug Paul. But he left you alone, with Billy. And that the moment, that�s all that mattered.
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