Dead Because Of You
You watched, oh you watched. You watched ever so closely, in jealousy� But not in love. No, they were in love. And you just watched.
You were amazed at how they just seemed to be so in tune to each other, and yet so blind. Maybe they would see the love one-day. Maybe.
But of course, you could see it. When you lived in the same place, you had to see it.
You need to get your own place soon. This was getting out of control.
You watched them as they tip-toed around you. As if you didn't know they were fucking. As if you didn't fucking hear it at three in the morning.
As if you didn't see the swollen lips, or them missing- always at the same time.
It was getting so tiring, pretending not to see. And watching them circle each other.
When you finally cornered Lijah, he was a total wreck.
"I don't know what you mean, Orli� Nothing's going on between me and Dom."
As if, lover boy.
"Really, what are you talking about?"
"Maybe the glances, you two fucking at three in the morning, the marks?"
You ran your hand down the smaller man's neck, putting pressure on each of the bites.
"Oh-hh."
Small, broken voice. Unable to keep it level.
Shit, you didn't want the kid to cry. You'd just wanted them to stop sneaking around. Maybe then they'd see what was right in front of their face.
What you wished he had. But not with either of them.
But this wasn't about that. This was about making them better.
You'd held the kid� man� boy� What the hell was he? But it didn't matter. You'd held him while he cried, while he sobbed the whole story out.
Damn Dom for doing this to him. Damn him. Maybe, just maybe, you could fix this. If Dom would listen.
You should have known he wouldn't.
You'd cornered him, a few days later. Asked him what the hell he thought he was doing, messing with the kid, when there was so much more he could have.
Dom claimed he didn't know what you were talking about.
Sure he didn't.
If he didn't have a fucking clue what you were talking about, then why had Lij soaked your whole damn shirt in tears? Why did Dom flinch when you told him that? Why did the normally calm and unmovable Dom walk away with out some much as a by-your-leave when you asked he planned to tell Lijah he was in love with him.
God knows he'd already waited long enough.
Long enough to make the poor kid think something was wrong. That he wasn't good enough.
And Lijah should never think that. Because he was perfect, even when you didn't like him like that you knew it. Perfect with his pale skin, his thin lips, straight nose with the little up-turned end. Dark messy hair, the bluest fucking eyes you could ever see.
What right did Dom have to break this? He was fucking perfect, and Dom was ruining him.
He didn't have the right. No one did.
You cornered him again, a day later. "You have to fix it, Dom. You can't not tell him."
"What the fuck would you know, Orli? You don't even know what's going on."
A growled, heated response.
"The fuck I don't. I can see, I can hear. You're a god damn bastard for doing this to him. He fucking loves you, and all you can do is break him."
He'd turned and walked away, again.
Maybe this time something would come of it.
But you knew nothing would. It would stay the same as it had for the past months, Lijah slowly breaking and Dom as stoic as ever.
You couldn't bear to see them like this, still fucking every night, Lijah still showing up with more of the marks every morning, even more probably hidden beneath the tee-shirt and jeans. You had to watch as they slowly killed each other� So slowly.
You wished they'd break, or snap, or something. You had to sit and watch as they stayed in the same rut. Watch as your best friends slowly became enemies, even though they fucked.
At least they were enemies from your view.
You knew that Lijah could never hate Dom, and that Dom did love him.
So, if they loved each other, what the hell was the matter?
And by god, when would they fucking stop?
Maybe never. You hoped it wasn't never. Because you were still living with them.
When Lijah came and broke down on your shoulder for the sixth time, you knew something had to be done. You found Dom as soon as Lij was asleep, and made him listen to you, as best you could.
"You see this? How wet my shirt is? Lij's tears. The kid's in love with you, and yet you're gonna kill him. What the fuck is wrong with you, Dominic?"
Rage. Rage that someone could do that to someone so perfect. Rage that someone could do that to someone they loved, someone that loved them. Just rage.
"What? Are you jealous?"
Now where the hell had that come from?
But okay, you could do this.
"Yeah! I am. Jealous that someone loves you, but no, I'm not jealous that the person that loves you is dying because of you."
It was your turn to walk away, mad, angry� In need of someone- thing -to beat. Or else it would be Dom.
It wasn't five minutes later. You were on the back porch, smoking. Sure, you had quit, but you had started again.
But, five minutes later, you smoking, Dom found you.
"What do you mean, 'dying because of you'?"
Oh, so you'd finally caught his attention.
"Just what I said."
Fucking cunt. Let him suffer in unknowing. Let him be unsure.
"But� I mean�"
He was so confused. You let out a bitter laugh.
"Lij is dying because of you. Breaking into a million pieces. And what do you do? Fucking nothing."
He looked down, almost� Almost what? Ashamed? Served to bastard right.
"I� I don't want to hurt him� I just�"
Why couldn't he finish a fucking sentence tonight?
"Just what? Don't want to love him?"
Your cigarette was gone. You stood and left him on the back porch, going to your room and slamming the door.
Three days later, and nothing was different. Lijah was still dead to the world, the fire in his eyes almost gone. Dom would break the kid if something didn't happen soon.
You and Dom weren't speaking. Rather, you weren't speaking to him.
He was speaking plenty to you.
Finally tired of Dom ignoring Lijah and trying to talk to you, you left the house. Went for a walk. Bought a soda down the street.
Two hours later, you returned home. It was quiet save for mumbling coming from the office-turned-tv room.
You went to the door and your heart broke. Lijah was talking to himself, crying. Almost gone...
"Fuck Dom�" you growled under your breath. "He's dead because of you."
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