It wasn�t supposed to be this way. He wasn�t supposed to leave, he wasn�t supposed to disappear. He was supposed to come home this Christmas. He�d promised to be there, he�d told her over and over that this year he�d make it home.

Instead of the normal one strand of lights and the normal one decoration on the front door, she put up a tree. She�d decorated. And now it was Christmas Eve and he wasn�t home. No phone call, no email. No letter, no nothing. He�d gone and disappeared again.

With a sigh, Kaylor rolled over to face the TV. Her knees were folded against her chest as she watched the old TV shows from her childhood play. Shows that reminded her so much of her missing boyfriend�. The boyfriend that was always missing.

She�d dreamed of the Christmas when he would be there. She�d dreamed, ever since they�d graduated in 2004, and they had gotten so big�

Why did you leave me for Christmas
You left me lonely it's true
Could you have waited til New Year's
At least the year would be through
And now the mistletoe's hangin
For no reason at all

With a sigh, the girl aloud the tears to slip down her face. She closed her eyes, ignoring the mistletoe that hung above the doorway, and closing her ears to the sound of the shows she�d watched so many times with her beloved.

She felt the wetness from her tears seep through the jeans that covered her knees, where her face lay. She couldn�t believe that he�d lie to her, point blank. Not after all that they had gone through. Not when all that she was holding onto was him.

Why couldn�t he have at least lied to her about New Years? Why�d he lie about Christmas� Why?

And all the presents are still wrapped
But you don't even call

She closed her eyes again, her dark eyes losing the sparkle Gavin had once called the stars. Her short hair was messy, falling around her face. �Gavin� Why?� she murmured. The phone lay silent by her head as the people upon the tv talked on.

Took a walk to where we go
There were lights and there was snow
But it don't feel much like Christmas
People ask me how you've been
I fake a smile and say ok
But I don't feel much like Christmas

Standing slowly, she made her way out of the apartment that he still owned. Why would he let her live there if he wasn�t going to keep his promises?

Ignoring that train of thought, she made her way towards the park that was near bye. She couldn�t believe that there was snow on the ground and it was Christmas Eve. There was never snow in Seattle.

Across the street someone she recognized from high school stopped and waved. She waved back and went to continue walking. The person called out. �Hey, how�s Gavin?�

Kaylor sighed, but pasted on a fake smile. �Fine. Should be home soon.�

The person nodded and they went upon their own ways.

You used to be my favorite holiday
But now you've gone
I'm all alone
All I can say
Why did you leave me for Christmas
You left me lonely it's true
Could you have waited til New Year's
At least the year would be through
And now the mistletoe's hangin
For no reason at all

As she returned to the apartment, the girl sighed. She use to love this holiday. Keywords being use to. But that didn�t matter anymore. The clock was ticking down the hours till midnight struck and she was waiting, all alone.

She would wait, she knew. And she would forgive. But she knew that he was gone.

Laying back down she let her eyes wander from the still on TV to the phone, to the tree and then to the mistletoe that hung still into the doorway.

�God Gavin� Where are you?�

She felt the tears come again, and let them slide down her already red and damp cheeks.

And all the presents are still wrapped
But you don't even call

Closing her eyes, she ignored to presents under the tree. She ignored the TV that played gently in the background. She ignored the dampness of her clothing where her tears had been.

She whimpered quietly as she fell into a restless sleep, the phone right by her head�

Maybe he would call.

Waiting here alone
Christmas by the phone
Said I'm waiting here alone
Spending Christmas by the phone

The door opened slightly, and the face of a boy-man looked in. He moved silently towards the room where the girl lay, his heart breaking as he heard her whimper his name in her sleep.

The clock struck midnight. She�d spent Christmas by the phone. Alone. And he�d never even called.

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