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��������������� I waited for the ambulance, cradling Daniel (not too tight, I didn�t want to cause him any pain) against my chest and holding the tourniquet to try and slow the bleeding� which wasn�t working too well. He seemed to be doing better, and I thought he�d wake up when he turned on his side, towards me, and nuzzled against my shoulder with a whimper. I just sat, frustrated that I couldn�t do anything to help. I took another glance around the disastrous room, my vision dizzied at the sight of all the blood.

��������������� Daniel moaned and curled into my side again.� His eyes opened to slits and a faint smile crept up his lips. He curled up tighter. ��Darren� you�re back�� He slipped back into his dream and fell silent after that.

��������������� I wonder� Daniel� was this what it was like? Were you the one forcing yourself to be strong? Did you cradle him, hold him, and tell him that it would be all right? Did you cry? How I wished I�d been present. Or just wished that it�d never happened at all.

��������������� Come to think of it, that�s what I think I was -really- wishing. That nothing bad ever happened to anyone� especially the good people that didn�t deserve anything remotely like it. Isn�t that the way things always turn out? Bad things for the good people? In some, sick way, it was true. You never heard about murderers being robbed� no rapists ever got into accidents. When was the last time fate had dealt such a devastating blow to someone who really deserved it?

��������������� I didn�t know.

��������������� I never seemed to know anything, anymore.

��������������� All I knew was that Daniel had been pushed past his breaking point. The accident had hit everyone, but it didn�t take a genius to know that it had affected him the worst. He valued Darren, trusted him, cherished him� more than anything in the world. And to have someone that you care about so much suddenly taken from your life, even for a small time, causes a pain that I�m not even sure I�ve ever felt before. It could hurt you in places and ways that you never knew existed.

��������������� But puzzling over the (unfair) situation wasn�t going to help Daniel. Or Darren. Or me. It wouldn�t take the hurt away, nor would it somehow let me awaken from this reality that, just a day or two before, I was convinced was just another nightmare.

��������������� How many days had it been since the accident? One? Two? Ten thousand? Time had ceased to exist for us, the world had stopped turning in our little world. And I was just then realizing just how bad it was going to shake me when it started up again. The doctors, the fans, the family, and the reporters� it was going to be the shit storm of the year. Of the decade.

��������������� Speaking of family� Darren�s was supposed to be coming up soon. They�d barely learned the news of the accident, and his mother had insisted that she see him as soon as possible. Before the chance slips away� And where had Leonie been through all of this? On a normal day, she was at Darren�s side almost constantly, hanging on him and being a regular nuisance. Where was everyone? Maybe I�d just been too dazed to realize that there were other people around me.

��������������� Daniel groaned again, shattering my reverie.

��������������� I glanced to the clock�. No, there was no clock. It looked as if the clock had been thrown against the wall. I had no idea how long we�d been waiting. It could have been seconds, or hours. Just that weird sensation of time standing still� just for me.

��������������� I felt eyes on me, and glanced toward Daniel. He was (as far as I could tell) fully awake� and very unhappy that it was -me- holding him, and that he�d been pulled from his little illusion. �He didn�t deserve any of this� he never did anything t-to hurt anyone� how come he was the one that ended up getting hurt, Ben? How come it wasn�t me?� The thought of trying to answer that question tore me into shreds. He sounded like a wounded five year old who�d just lost his favorite puppy. �I� don�t know, Danny. Sometimes, things just happen.�

��������������� �Why can�t they just happen to someone else?�

��������������� �I don�t know that, either.�

��������������� �I just want to� be with him. You know? I want that� so bad� I want to be with him, and touch him, and make sure that he�s real. But every time I�m dreaming and we�re this close to each other� the second I reach out, he just disappears.�

��������������� And every time that you need me, I feel so far away.

��������������� �And you think that, that killing yourself will bring him closer to you? Christ, Daniel��

��������������� �I didn�t want to kill myself! I just wanted to try and feel what he was feeling. You don�t understand. I think he knows how much I�m hurting right now, but I know it�s probably nothing compared to what he�s going through. You weren�t there, Ben. You didn�t see him. I did. I�ve never seen anything worse in my life, Benny, nothing. Nothing! It was like something out of a sci-fi movie��

��������������� Somehow, he�d gained energy from some, forgotten reserve to speak with such conviction that I could almost picture the scene in my mind. He�d gone from near comatose to spitfire in an instant. Because he didn�t think I believed him.

��������������� I decided to try and keep him talking. It may have wasted his energy, but I knew that he wasn�t close to fainting if he could still manage words (angry words, at that).

��������������� ��I just want him to wake up.� There was that childish tone again.

��������������� �Dan, he�s going to wake up. It hasn�t even been half a week� he�s just in shock��

��������������� �Maybe if I�m in the hospital with him, it�ll make him stronger� I�ll wait by his bed every day, I�ll get a cot set up in his room, and when he wakes up I�ll never leave him alone��

��������������� I helplessly wondered why the ambulance wasn�t there yet. Daniel was growing distant again, and the sweater was damp. He�s losing a -lot- of blood� I wrapped the jacket along the outside. He flinched again. �Ow, stop that.� I murmured some sort of apology. What was taking them so long? Did they not realize how serious this was?

��������������� After a few minutes of silence, I tried to pull him back into conversation as my fear increased. What if they don�t show up? What if they show up� too late? What if Daniel doesn�t make it? What if he knows he isn�t going to? �Hey, you alright down there?� His tone was corrosive, dripping with sarcasm. �Just peachy.�

��������������� �At least you didn�t injure your sense of humor.�

��������������� �Shut up.�

��������������� �See? You�re just fine.�

��������������� �Oh, wank off.�

��������������� We both chuckled nervously. It was odd, in a way. I�d never imagined myself in this sort of situation� especially with Daniel. I�m one of those people that gains comfort from telling himself every morning, �It�ll never happen to me.�

��������������� But then again, usually, it doesn�t.

��������������� �Does it look bad?�

��������������� �Excuse me�?� Once again, he jerked me from my thoughts.

��������������� �Me. I mean� you know. Does it look� bad?�

��������������� �Danny, I don�t know how to answer that.�

��������������� Luckily, there was no uncomfortable silence to bear with after that. I didn�t have to play the fool, or pretend that I couldn�t hear him. Because I heard sirens from the balcony.