--Eye On You--

It�s amazing how helpless we really are. Man considers it-self to be the greatest most controlled force on this earth yet fear paralyses us. Even the best of us, our Churchill�s, our Wellington�s can be blindsided and left numb by fear. But I�m no Churchill, I�m no hero and as I sat by myself in my room all I felt was that cold, icy fear.

Where would any of us go from here? I kept asking myself. We were either murderers or accessories to murder weren�t we?� I strived to see a future for any of us but all I saw was dark, desolate nothing.

It was no good; there was only one person I could talk to, Paul.

I quietly slipped out my room and approached the stairway, I paused realising I was in the exact spot I was when Elijah and Stuart died. That shiver passed through me again and something else a nagging persistent feeling like there was something I was supposed to remember.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure below, carefully I made sure I was covered by shadows and peered over the balcony.

There Paul stood by the body, from my angle all I could see was Everett�s feet. Paul must�ve dragged him out after sending us upstairs, but why?

��You worthless shit,� Paul�s voice was barely audible. He stared down at the corpse his fist clenched and then violently spat on him. I was shocked. This was Paul laid bare, vulnerable and desperately in pain.

A knock came at the door and at once Paul straightened up and composed himself, taking deep breath he threw open the door.

�Buck! Did you take the scenic route?�

�Don�t get sarcastic McGann I�m here on a errand.� Confused I drew back from the stairway, I knew that voice, that face and where had I heard the name Buck before?

�I�d hardly call Buck James an angel.� Damian�s voice in my mind, something uttered while I was pretending to be asleep after the attack in the alley. This man was the thug who pounced on Elijah! But why was he here? And with Paul?

� �You seem to be sending more bodies out then in these days McGann,� he said, entering the hallway and looking about him.

� �Drawbacks of the job Buck.� Paul stepped back and allowed Buck to see the corpse.

� �FUCK! What happened to him?�

� �He abused my good nature.�

� �Well you abused his fucking face!� Paul chortled at this and shrugged his shoulders as if he were a wronged innocent. �So my payment?� continued Buck ��Cause sorting out this mess is going to cost you.�

� �Well I�m afraid Orlando is out of the question at the moment.�

� �Been there done that anyway.�

� �Quite,� Paul replied. The disgusted sneer was evident in his tone.

� �Hey you still got that pretty Darren kid?�

� �Also unavailable.� Slowly I saw him look up towards my hiding place, gasping I drew back but Buck continued oblivious.

� �That�s what you said when I carted the other two stiffs out, speaking of stiffs I�ve had a big one for that Darren since he attacked me with a dustbin lid.�

� �Always the way to a mans heart, and please Buck I don�t wish to discuss unfortunate incidents from the past. Discretion is always the key. No I�m afraid I can�t let you have Darren, he was very close with the other two. He may not care to know that the one who man handled him in the alley has become something of an undertaker with his nearest and dearest. But you�re in luck, I have just the person, Jonathon.�

*~*~*

�� Jonathon? How could he let Jonathon sleep with that man? A man who he knew to be sexually violent? And how could they work together after he attacked Elijah and me? �He touched them.� I thought to myself �He touched their cold dead bodies with his filthy hands the bastard� I gripped a hand to my mouth to choke back a sob. I leapt to my feet unsteadily and headed back to my room. Once there I threw myself down to my bed, willing the revulsion to go away. Should I go to Jonathon warn him? No, that animal would already be there, pawing at him. My mind clouded of images of Buck James touching him, kissing him. I felt a tugging at my heart. I was jealous! Jealous that someone like him could be with Jonathon. Groaning I pressed my face into my pillow. I loved Damian now and he loved me. I wasn�t going to throw that away for such a flimsy reason. I couldn�t hurt anyone the way I hurt Elijah, I prayed I�d never hurt anyone like that again.

�� My mind was in such turmoil over these thoughts that I never heard Paul enter until his cough alarmed me. �What�re you doing here?� I gasped.

� �Were you on the balcony just now? You�re fully clothed I notice.�

� �No I wasn�t. I can�t sleep. Murder takes it out of me for some reason.�

� �Oh come now, I�ll wager you and �Doctor� Lewis went nowhere near Everett.� He sat on the end of my bed. �Am I correct?�

� �Yes, but neither did Jonathon or Heath.� I whispered and he smiled sadly at this. Gently he moved closer towards me and lifted my chin up so I looked into his steely eyes. He moved his finger and trailed my cupids bow softly.

� �Do you know Darren that excluding Jonathon you�re the only one here I�ve never slept with?�

� �No, I didn�t.� My voice was so low even I strained to hear it.

� �Don�t be insulted, it�s a compliment. You mean more to me then that. I didn�t�I didn�t want to spoil you�You came here my angel you see and�� He trailed off and looked at me sadly. �Take off your clothes.�

� �Please Paul�not now, not after all that has happened.�

� �I am the boss here, not you! You will do as I say or�� His voice broke and his eyes filled with tears. Not breaking contact I began to remove my garments, letting them gently slip to the floor. As I stripped so did he and when he was finished he moved me backwards onto the bed. The touch of his fingers silkily touched my face and I felt my cock rise in a shameful, uncontrollable jerking motion. He moved towards my face and kissed me, almost feverishly I returned the favour and I had to move my hips back against the bed so my cock didn�t grind against him. �Turn around.� He said, and slowly I did. I felt his hands make their way to my privates scooping up my balls and the loose flesh of my cock so my balls were pushed forward. I gave out a cry of pain as he pushed himself into me dry. His hand gripped my cock tightly and forced it straight and his hand rode in time to his thrusts into me. I heard my groans filling in the room and felt a great shame that I could even enjoy what he was doing to me after what had happened. Finally my passion coming to a close, my hips rocking violently back and forth and my cock being driven back and forth in his hardened grasp. I felt tears on my back �My angel, my angel�� He murmured letting out a shuddering moan and jerking wildly into me. I came shortly after. For a moment he lay there saying nothing until finally he pulled himself off me. �Don�t hurt him Darren.�

� �Don�t hurt who?� I asked never moving from my position.

� �Damian. Don�t hurt Damian. He has been through so much.� The emotion was raw in his voice. �I care for him a great deal although he would never believe it.�

� �If he left here, do you think he could be happy?� His arms came down on me and spun me violently onto my back.

� �You can�t take him away from me! I�ll let you have him here because it�s here, close to me, but you won�t take him away! Not now not ever!� This Paul, the one whose hands pinched into my sides painfully, was not the Paul I met three years ago. I could barely see a trace in his wild eyes that stared at me in obvious hurt.

� �Paul?�

� �I�m losing myself Darren. It�s this place; I feel as if it�s drowning me that my father has buried me here. It�s getting so hard just to think�� He let go and clutched his head I reached out as if to comfort him but thought better of it, snatching my hand back as if it were in danger. Then tentatively he dressed all the while watching me with wary eyes.

� �There will be a party. A party to celebrate Jonathon�s arrival. It�ll be fun. It�ll be like it used to be.� He smoothed his hair and grinned at me. The grin appeared fragile as if it might slip any moment.

� �Okay�� I whispered.

� �Sleep well Darren.� Then he left.

I sat back in the bed waiting for darkness to take me. Paul�s words replayed over and over in my head. �Don�t hurt Damian�. The fear returned.

tbc