Cameraman: "What the hell?"
(The cameraman approaches the edge of the rooftop and looks down at the street below. The road itself is closed off, and people bustle about under the cover of umbrella's. The camera zoom's in on the people below and spots one man not covered by the plastic canopy. He stand in the middle of all the people as they walk around him. The shot quickly switches, flashing from way up high to another camera set up at street level, right in front of the man's feet. Slowly it moves up from his soaked black trainers, past his drenched blue jeans with the bottom of a long leather jacket creeping into view as it approaches his mildly dry dark green shirt, covered by the rest of the leather jacket. The shot approaches the face of the man, drenched from head to toe, and showing him up to be Nathan Creed. Nathan smiles, rain water dripping down his face. He runs his hand through his hair, spiking it upwards)
Nathan: "Myth's and fairytales. Is that all you are about Kingdom? Taking what has been said to a new level and turning into into some sort of fable? Trying to make me feel small and insignificant by using me as the main character are we? Well next time try to get a better story because frankly your's isn't even worthy of a review"
(Lightning flashes in the background, closely followed by a clap of thunder. Nathan loks up t the sky and smiles to himself, a million thoughts a second running through his head. He looks back at the camera as he starts to walk through the crowd of people, looking to get out of the rain at last)
Nathan: "None the less you will get a review for your 'piece', but don't expect a good one. So to start, Mr Kingdom, you begin with one man's decent dwn a dark stairway. Hmmm...interesting build up. Invisible walls due to darkness, and the man, who represents me, is scared witless. Well if that was me then why am I scared? I have never backed down from anybody in my life, and I don't think I would start in some dingy grotto like you sugggest. Anyways..."
(Another flash of lightning followed by an ominous clap of thunder. Nathan just smiles again)
Nathan: "Next up, this tragic case that is meant to be me enter a room filled with wonders and begins his epic search for the fabled treasure. Now in a regular, exciting, story the man would have to spend at least a good ten minutes overcoming evil and traps and the what not to find this treasure. What do you do in (sarcasticly speaking) an exciting twist!? You have the guy practically fall over this rusty old lamp. Then he, sorry, I mean I rub this lamp. (More sarcasm) Now is the creative part. You have a genie pop out with a puff of smoke! WOW!"
(Nathan slaps both hands on his cheeks with a look of pretend shock on his face. It quickly fades as he raises an eyebrow)
Nathan: "Well at least my promo's don't rip off Aladdin. And you talk about my having no creativity. Yeesh"
(Nathan pushes past a man in a tweed jacket and makes his way towards a bus stop. Nobody is sat underneath it. Nathan smiles again as yet another flash of lightning and a clap of thunder echo throughout the street. Nathan sits down and shakes the rain from him as best he can. He rubs his hand over his face, trying to get the water off his face)
Nathan: "Where were we? Ah yes...the genie. Now I ask this genie for three wishes. Hmmm...yet another rip off. Not too much creativity so far. Then what does the genie do. He use's something I said to Hurse. I quote 'But beware: You don't always get what you wish for' End quote"
(Nathan raises both hands in front of him and slowly claps three times)
Nathan: "Congratulations Johnny boy. You have just managed to steal yet another thing from somebody else. Actually I am surprised you haven't recieved any law suits yet for copyright infringement. Now back to your story. Your genie has limitations. Can't make me articulate, original, creative, or talented. You hurt my feelings Johnny. You forgot to add popular or aethstetically pleasing. By the way that means good looking. Now this genie can ressurect dinosaurs. A show of how great a task you believe this to be right? Nice shot...but still"
(Lightning screams through the sky again, followed by a loud clap of thunder. Nathan stiffles a laugh. He coughs and continues, wiping a smile from his face)
Nathan: "So anyway, this guy asks for a good catchphrase. What does the genie do? Fails. This genie isn't a representation of you is it? You know with the whole failing thing? No? Oh well...could of fooled me. Right so obviously this guy is upset. He announces that he needs it because people take the piss out of him and he is sensitive. Baring in mind that it is me then you have got it wrong again. Do I look upset? Nope. More pissed off that everybody seem's to want to steal my catchphrase for horrendous uses. Still I am here to pick your little sideshow routine apart aren't I? Now your genie tries to help get a new catchprhase. This is where you really fall down. Apparently your script was written by you, and obviously you hired no researchers to help you. Your Creed says that he had his 'Mom' help him in 'Junior High'?"
(Nathan emphasises the american pronouciation of mom and emphasises the junior high)
Nathan: "Impossible. My 'mum' lives in England, where I went to 'High School' and recieved my education"
(Nathan emhasises the english pronounciation of mum, as well as high school)
Nathan: "None the less, points for effort. Where are we?"
(Nathan reaches into the bag of some random guy standing just outside the bus stop. The guy doesn't flich as Nathan pulls out a few pieces of paper with 'Johnny Kingdom - Creed and the Genie: The Script' written on it in some sort of crayon. Nathan flicks forward a few pages and the read down)
Nathan: "Ah! Here we are. You know I think I will just fast forward through the rest, this is really boring. More so than some of Hurse's promo's. Lets see...blah blah blah. Crying. blah blah. Catchphrase makes no sense. blah blah. Cruze. Blah blah. Oh...Creative Control to lose their creativity. Surely my wish had already come true by the time you wrote this script"
(Nathan reads on a little bit more. His eye's bulge at something he reads. He looks up, looking like he is about to explode. Suddenly he breaks out in laughter. He composes himself)
Nathan: "I wet myself! Oh dear god. Ingenious Johnny. I wet myself. Then the genie tells me it doesn't work. Great twist there Johnny. I would applaude it, but I can't be asked. What else is there? Ah yes. The great reason. It is impossible to make anybody less talented or original or creative than me and Cruze. Short of killing you, or sending you to a distant galaxy there is no way I would win this match Friday. Then the finish...finally. The greta last chance routine. The genie syas there is one way to win. what does he do? Well he makes a few sparks and some pretty smke and changes me into you. Didn't the genie want to improve my talent though? Not turn me into some kind of bald copycat? Well I guess taht is that. Overall I would give your story around...oh say two out of ten. That is only cos I feel sorry for you mind. You went to all that trouble of finding an actor who looks nothing like me, and all those special effects"
(Another streak of lightning, followed by another clap of thunder. Nathan smiles again as he looks up. The camera follows his gaze, revealing that the skies have turned relatively clear. The rain has stopped suddenly,and the clouds are slowly drifting apart to reveal a beaming sun...with a smiling face upon it. The camera focuses back down on Nathan's face, a huge grin upon it)
Nathan: "Your not the only one who can spin a decent fairytle Johnny boy. A few extra actors, a few special effects guys, some CGI and anything is possible as you very well proved. This rain, these people, the storm. All used to create an atmosphere...probably the wrong one but hey. The fact remains that you really are all about Creative Control. You control the creativness so much that you are both starting to rip everybody else off because you can't think of anything intersting to say. At least my monotonous droning is consistant but you guys are just erratic. Your random behaviour is what is going to lead to your defeat this week. You will be wondering what to do next while Cruze and I know exactly what to do because we have done it so often we are good at it. Boring doesn't mean untalented, but then again we aren't boring either. Fans still buy our stuff, they still cheer our names. Tha is exactly what they will be doing Friday night. They will be cheering our name's as we beat you into submission...literally"
(Nathan stands up as a stage hand hands Nathan a towel. The various people put down their umbrella's and begin walking off, leaving Nathan at the makeshift bus stop. Nathan smiles as he dries himself. Instead of speaking, and delivering some sort of closing line to the camera, Nathan just throws the towel over his shoulder and walks off to the buffet table, giving a thumbs up to the special effects crew standing around a set of electronic equipment. The camera slowly fades out)
