| Horror Story Part 3 Where did all the hideously mutated skin eating monsters go? The horror story series do not necessary follow on from each other. The ideas expressed are not the views of anyone and should not be taken seriously. This story should not be viewed by anyone for it may warp your mind beyond all recognition. The third part of this world famous trilogy starts unlike the other two, high drama, lots of tension and funky smell unlike any other smell you have ever smelt. The day started like any other day the sound of Wally Wilson's been burgled, a car smashing into a lamppost and an atomic bomb just blew up Russia. But shit like that happens everyday where I live. I had to pass the time away some how so I decided in my infinite wisdom to give Darryl a ring on his mobile (big mistake). He decided that we should break into the old institute and steal the snooker tables, but I passed. After that we gathered the troops and told them the good news, we all had the urge the merge so we all joined the junior arsonist club. You get a free pack of matches when you join before 23/12/2001. Anyway once we had all joined (it was a spur of the moment thing) we felt the aftershock of Russia been blown up. Or Martin had just fell over, ever way it made a hell of a thud and the aftershock uprooted several trees and shrubs. We forgot to call for someone but in the end we figured out who so we went off to call for him, that person in question was Robbie Lettice. We went round the back and opened the gate and his pet wallaby latched onto Martin. Hupin was shocked into a state of pandemonium by the strange actions of this wallaby and ran off across a field. Only to get his leg caught in a fox trap, so we had to go and get him and take him to a doctor. Meanwhile the wallaby let go of martin and turned on Robbie's pet Dingo. Robbie broke out into song, he started singing tragedy by the Bee Gees ( he knows it well because he's got the album). Surprisingly enough this had no affect what so ever on the wallaby. Meanwhile we decided to call for Sam (as he requested), he wanted to get in the action. The action started sooner than expected, he stepped out of his house and the number 1B bus careered on to the pavement and wiped out a lamppost that flew out of its foundation and took out Darryl. The shock was to much for us so we dedicated that day Darryl Day but by the next year we had forgotten about it. The rumour was that he broke a chain letter and this was the consequence. Shortly after we started talking about the subject of pigeons and how ignorant they are and why pigeons bob their heads when walking. Basically the pigeon's back-and-forth head motion is not exactly a bob. It helps it keep its balance when walking. The pigeon's legs are located pretty far astern, and if it kept its head forward all the time it would probably tip over. This would expose the pigeon to the ridicule of the community. Instead, what it does is move its chest forward in time with one leg, and its head forward in time with the other leg. Thus some weight is always trailing a little abaft the port beam, as we say. Many fowl have similarly peculiar gaits, because they cannot afford orthopedic shoes. Anyway a strange sequence of events were about to follow, non of us thought for one second this would happen. Yes, Martin went on a diet not only that he lost 12 pound, well I told him to put his money in his wallet but would he listen, no. Then Chris started to support Sunderland, not only that I started talking sense and Chunk missed a Darlo home game. By now we thought something strange was going on. To top it all off Hupin had filed a missing person's report on Robbie even though Robbie was not missing. Then Sam attacked Martin with a Banjo he claimed it was a good natured protest against racoons. With high quality detective work we found out that the strange going ones were nothing to do with chain letters but was an evil force called Master Tom Bator. He is a 14-year-old super villain who likes to eat cat food and plans to take over the world. Master Bator had to be stopped in some way or another so we decided to send Sam to find out what he had in mind. Sam wanted someone else to go with him so we sent Martin for a laugh. They both neglected the fact that Master Bator was a sticky customer with lots off spuff and they fell into a trap. Master Bator and his zombie like henchmen caught them both, sat Martin down, tied him up and gave him certain drugs. The real fun started when they cut open his head when he was still alive so you could see his brain. Master Bator picked up a knife and carved certain parts of his brain out and stuck them in a frying pan. Once golden brown he proceeded to feed them to Martin, then they turned to Sam who they chopped up stuck him in an oven and fed him to Martin too. With a war around the corner we decided to get together and attack the evil villain and his associates. With Martin, Sam and Darryl already dead we had to get James, Dave and Little Mike to join our ranks. We decided to go straight in and kill Tom Bator, big mistake. First to die was Venners mainly because we sent him in first, we told him there was a 14 year old lass in there and he replied "barr trippy she'd get it" and his head was taken off by one of the zombies. We carried on though, next to fall was James and Ben both decapitated by these mutant things, but it was not in vain, James had taken out the main zombie with a shotgun. We decided to fall back and come up with a plan. But Robbie wussed out and migrated to Australia. We never saw him again but rumour has it that he started his own Ant farm and became a drugs baron. That left me, Hupin, Chris, Chunk, Dave and little Mike to save the world. We went back with a plan, we used Dave as a decoy he busted in to the headquarters of Master Bator and caused a distraction whilst we shot all but 2 of the zombie henchmen. We also accidentally shot Dave because little Mike thought he was one of the zombies. Michael Andre Hupin snapped again and started screaming "I am the law" and kicked the shit out of the other 2 zombies and Chunk. Then he ran and jumped through a glass window to freedom, well apart from the fact we were on the 21st floor. So he just fell 21 floors to the ground. This left a decapitated Chunk, me, Chris and little Mike left to capture Master Bator. That we did we dressed Mike up as a Boy Scout and it worked whilst he had his back turned we captured him and handed him over to the police we got a �3 million reward. The problem was we couldn't easily split 3 million 4 ways so we handed little Mike over to the police and told them he shot Dave so the problem was solved. Chunk recovered from his injuries and Chris moved to Cuba to start his own business and I went to Australia to dispose of the only other person who knows anything about all of this Robbie. |