| Horror Story PART II So only 2 people survived the first part and Hupin and Darryl are still alive aswell. In our spare time Chris and me stole a machine from China that brings people back to life. So we decided to bring Martin Chambers and Chunk back to life and phoned Darryl and persuaded him to come back from Spain. Then the tricky part, getting Hupin out of the nutty bin. This was hard to do but with all of us working together it was a lot easier. We sent Chris in to distract them by asking if they knew the way to the garden party. Whilst this was happening me and Darryl went in to break Hupin out. There was one problem his hand was handcuffed to a post so Darryl lobbed his hand off with a knife. Once we got out most of the original group was here (me, Chris, Martin, Hupin, Darryl, Chambers and Chunk). We noticed that the problem never went away so we all got together and we found a container of poisonous gas. It read In case of an emergency call 01275 654378 if this fails your screwed. So we rang the number and got through to an answering machine that had a repetitive message. It said your screwed your screwed your screwed Martin kept listening to the voice in case it said something different. By the time it said it the 2000th time he turned to us and said I think were screwed. Martin said there was only one thing to do eat toothpaste and watch blockbusters. But in the nick of time Chambers saved us from the minty jaws of death by saying shut the fuck up Martin you daft twat lets play Twister. In the end we decided to leave the house and we all went down to the factories to investigate a sighting of a large squirrel. Somehow the gas must have changed the Squirrels DNA because those fuckers were huge. One of them started gnoring at Chris Scaifes leg so we decided to retreat and come back tomorrow night after college in force. But they got me on the way to college. I was walking along a road as you do and I saw one of the giant things so I jumped into a car that was open. They started to rip the windscreen wipers off. I thought to myself I could make it on foot so I got out picked up a stick and made a run for it. All I heard was the scrape of claws on cement and I knew they were gaining. I might as well make a stand here so I turned and stopped and, fuck me, these things were hauling ass, I drew my stick up as one of them leaped for my face, I whacked that sucker like a soggy meatball. Then another came at me but was met by my swift back hand. And out of nowhere one of the sissy faggots grabbed hold of my stick and ate it in half like corn on the cob. I escaped unhurt but the next person might not be so lucky. This pissed Chambers right off because he doesn't like onion. When we got back we sent Hupin away to get some research but he failed to come back. So we split up me Chris and Martin all went off to try and find Hupin and left the others to hunt the squirrels. Chambers was the first to spot something but it was not a squirrel it was a pub. But disaster, it was closed. We eventually found Hupin feeding ducks by a lake and all of a sudden a UFO crashed into the lake and a swarm of chocolate flavour cum fish was deposited in the lake. The word is they have joined forces with the coco shrimp from north Alaska. A deadly combination of deadly spunk and choclaty goodness. Then Chambers came round the corner to see what was happening. One of them jumped out of the lake and latched on to Chambers face, DISASTER! We let the situation run its course it had a lot of advantages except it dragged him into the lake and it added a lovely tint of red to the water. But then red is such a nice colour so things evened out in the end. We carried on as normal as u do when your friend gets decapitated by aliens that have invaded the Earth in front of your face. But shit happens. We decided to call everyone together to tell them the news. The next day we found that Martin had had a nervous breakdown based on the fact that Wally Wilson's was out of food. The shock was too much to take he was in denial, he just kept muttering that the shop has a hidden agenda and was out to get him. So we did the only logical thing and hit him on the head with a baseball bat, tied him up and chucked him in Hupin's attic and left him. We had started to turn on ourselves this could only spell disaster. (I think its about time for a mutated animal to kill one of us) and I'm here to please So here we go. After disposing of the crazy lunatic (Martin) we decided to have a look down Darlington (big mistake). (As you might have figured out I have just learned how to use brackets). In Darlo we decided to go to McDonalds for our dinner and there we got attacked by a 2-headed swan. It repeatedly pecked away at my head and was rather irritating so I picked up a big branch and proceeded to batter its heads in. It was a close shave, but we all survived this attack. We decided to get hold of Robbie to do our dirty work because he's a mug, a Muppet, a fool, a stupid excuse for a person. We rang his mobile phone and told him to meet us at the Body shop in the cornmill. When he got there we told him the plan and he agreed to join us. We carried on and when we walked round the corner there was a decaying carcass and it lunged at Chunk and latched on like a ferret and gave him some jip. Chunk dropped and rolled like u are supposed to do when you're on fire. But that did no good probably because he wasn't on fire. Darryl panicked and started to kick the zombie shouting at it and calling it a stress head and a ugly piece of shit. At this point the thing let go. It turned on him but he was off, he ran like a whippet he looked round thinking he lost it but that thing was hauling arse so Darryl ran into the Cornmill and hid in Burger King. We rang him and met up there after about 30 minutes. All except for Chunk who sadly but ironically was killed by a zombie (Chunk was turned into a zombie in part 1 but we turned him back). Well only 5 of us left (Me, Chris, Hupin, Darryl, Robbie) and we started to get a bit edgy due to the fact of a recent high death rate. We decided to stick together most of the time so we would be safer. Robbie was close to becoming the next victim when he got lost and asked a strange man in a car directions. Robbie got offered a sweet and took it, he offered him a lift so Robbie got in the car. Then he remembered the rule never eat shredded wheat so he opened the passenger side door and leapt to freedom. But he jumped straight into a tree and that's where we found him, he was out cold. We all went home and decided to call it a day but when Chris was on the way up Redworth Road he saw a 20 pence piece from Gibraltar. It was in the middle of the road but know cars were coming so he bent down and picked it up. But in the process he slipped a disk in his back. He looked up and saw Chunk, but Chunks dead he thought. He was hurling towards him on a steamroller, slowly but surely gaining ground. It reached his head first and it popped like a sour grape. The rest is history just like Chris. We found him the next day and scraped him off the road with a shit shovel. Hupin the unstable person that he is flipped he went crazy. He had several nervous breakdowns al at once he started to talk to his left sock. He even named it Herman. Then he claimed he invented the colour red. At first we never realised but when he tried to kill Robbie with a ballpoint pen we had a hunch that he was off his head. So we did the normal thing ignore the problem it might go away or he might kill us. Robbie was stunned. (Look Robbie I'm in control I can say what I want, What was the score in the FA cup, was it Man Utd 0-1 Westham). Anyway you were stunned Rob and started to recite the national anthem of South Korea. We got fairly scared so we pushed Rob in front of a bus and that solved one of our problems. Now for Hupin, this was the tricky part but in the end we decided to chop him up into little pieces and feed him to the fish. So in the end there was only me and Darryl who survived so we went in my house and played soccer 97. THE END |