It seemed like whatever Elisa talked to Darren about. His reply was either "I don`t care", "Suit yourself" or "Whatever". And it reallly got on Elisa`s nerves. When Daniel came back, he saw how things were going. And he knew that this was the first step of a breakup. He didn`t doubt that Darren really loved Elisa, but this was Darren`s way of acting when he really was in pain. He just pushed people away from him, thinking that he wouldn`t get hurt then. Daniel wondered how long Elisa would put up with this. He tried to talk to Darren, but he just looked at him and answered; "I don`t understand what you are talking about!"
The night before Elisa was about to leave, was the first night Darren didn`t hold her in his arms. He fell asleep with his back to her, or so she thought. Darren was awake all night, wondering about how the he## he could bare to say goodbye again. The only solution he had was to not say goodbye at all. Cause then it wouldn`t be so hard. So he walked out of the house before Elisa woke up. Thinking that she would understand.
Elisa woke up to an empty house. She sat on the bed and looked around, and then made her choice.. She called Nic, and started to pack all of her clothes. Darren was wrong.....she didn`t understand.
When Darren came back that evening he had a heavy burden on his shoulders. And he decided that he should call Elisa at once. But when he reached for the phone his eyes fell on a note at his desk.
Darren
When you read this, I will already be gone. I think you knew that this were coming. I think we both knew, and we have for a time now. Right now I feel like we want two different things, and somehow they don`t seem to connect. And I can`t see any reason to keep going, when all we do is hurt.
We love eachother, but we can`t be together, that is the way it is, and we both know it. Sometimes love isn`t enough to keep a relationship going. It`s just not that easy....I know that now.
So I guess this is goodbye.
Thank you for giving me a place in your heart and for loving me.
I will always remember.
Elisa
Darren smashed the phone at the wall and spend the entire evening staring out in thin air.
And that`s the way Daniel found him. He had tried to call several times, but he didn`t get an answer so he got worried and decided to check up on Darren. He looked from Darren to the phone and the note that was curled at the table. He didn`t ask Darren about any of it, he understood what had happened. He stepped outside and called Leonie. And told her to hurry back.
In a hotel room in Minnesota same night:
Nic walked inside and sat down beside Elisa. Elisa laid her head in her lap and cried. Nic gently stroke her hair.
"Shhh....I know it`s terrible right now...I know..shhh"
"I think terrible is still coming..." Elisa sobbed "Right now I.....try to keep breathing"
Nic sat there and stroke her hair until Elisa had fallen asleep. She pulled a blanket over her and left. She walked to her room and called Dan.
"Nicole?"
"How did you know...?" Never mind. How is Darren?"
Daniel sighed, he seemed tired. "I don`t know...he hasn`t said a word to either one of us. Not me, not Leonie. We can`t reach through to him it seems. He doesn`t eat......Nothing! He just sits there... How is Elisa?"
"She cried herself to sleep."
Darren sat in Elisa`s chair for two whole days. He didn`t eat, didn`t sleep...
Leonie and Dan hadn`t seen him cry ....not once.
"Something has to be done Leo! It`s just like he has stopped living!"
"Tell me something I don`t know... If he could just cry....and maybe he could let go!"
"He will crash eventually!" Daniel looked at Leonie
Daniel were right, Darren did crash and burn. About two months later. He had started talking again and eating. They held concerts, and on the outside everything seemed fine. But Dan and Leo knew better. They had seen Darren at nights, looking out into nothing. Seen him get sudden outbursts, and smash things at the floor or at the walls.
They were at a hotel in France . They had been visiting 4 towns in 3 days, and Darren was coming down with the flu. Darren entered his room after doing an interview. He sat down at the sofa. "I`m so tired..." Leonie was out to get him his medication. He listened to the radio, and then he heard the new single from Charmed."Goodbye note" With the flu, all his defenses were gone and he broke down.
"Darren?" Daniel walked inside and looked around the room for Darren. His eyes fell on the sofa where Darren sat. His shoulders were shaking, he looked up at Daniel when he heard his name.
"I can`t take anymore Daniel" His eyes begged him
Daniel rushed over and held him tight. Rocking him from side to side, and the only sound heard in the room was Darren`s heartbreaking cry.
"I miss her so much....it constantly hurts!"
"I know Darren.....I know"
Darren was shaking. And Daniel had tears in his eyes when he looked up at Leonie when she came back. Leonie found a blanket, and wrapped it around Darren. Daniel loosened his grip on Darren, but Darren grabbed his hand.
"Don`t go Dan!" Daniel swallowed as he saw the helpless expression on Darren`s face.
"I`m here. You`re not alone" He squeezed Darren`s hand.
After that night Darren tried to go on with his life, he felt a little better. But he was in doubt that he could ever forget about Elisa. But as they say......life must go on! Darren wanted to contact her, if for nothing else....just to hear her voice. But he didn`t see the point in doing that. He would probably feel worse afterwards, and what would possible become any different this time. "No, better leave things as they are. I`m used to this now." But there were many nights to come when he woke up with her name on his lips, and he reached out to touch her, just to find out that she was gone.
In a hotel in Sydney:
Nic and Elisa were halfway through their tour, 7 months had passed. Nic looked at Elisa. "Are you feeling alright? You look like hell!" Nic was worried. Ever since Darren`s and Elisa`s breakup, she had driven herself hard. She claimed that it kept her from thinking about Darren. But Nic suspected that she had those thoughts anyway, when in fact she should be sleeping. She was afraid that Elisa was on the edge of a complete breakdown. She hadn`t been appearing so well lately, and she seemed to be loosing some weight, and she was so pale. Nic stared at her. "Are you sleeping alright?"
"Don`t worry Nic, I`m fine. Really!"
"ELISA!" Nicole raised her voice. "I know you.....Talk to me!" Elisa was quiet for a while.
"I`m feeling a little tired these days. That`s all"
"Maybe we should take a little break?"
"Oh no, I`ll be fine. I promise...." Elisa tried to be cheerful. "Stop worrying!"
They walked down to the car and sat down in the backseat. Elisa wiped away a little sweat on her forhead. "God, why am I so cold?" She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "I`m so tired"
"Elisa!" she looked up, confused "What?"
"We`re here!" Nicole said
"Oh I must have fallen asleep." Elisa stepped out of the car and stretched her body. They walked inside and met the host of the tv-show they would be on that night. She hadn`t walked very far, but her knees where shaking and she felt weak.
"Nic I think I gotta...uhh....sit down or something!"
And her world went dark and the last thing she saw was Nic`s worried face.
Nic got so scared when Elisa just fell to the floor. "I knew something was wrong. I knew...." She blamed herself
The ambulance came, and Nic followed after. While she sat there, she called Dan, not knowing who else to turn to.
Darren and Daniel actually were in Brisbane at the time, and they were visiting some friends when Dan`s phone rang.
"Daniel.....oh hi Nicole!" Daniel`s smile faded
"What?.....calm down. I don`t understand a thing you`re saying." Darren felt a sudded pain in his stomach, feeling bad news coming.
"Hospital?" Darren closed his eyes in agony. "Not Elisa" he thought "Please not her!!"
"What happened?"
"Is it serious?"
"I`m coming!" Daniel hung up, and turned around to look for Darren. He was standing at the door.
"Is it Elisa?" His voice trembled
"Yes"
They ran out the door and drove to the airport. Leo was on the phone arranging tickets.
"What happened?" Darren wasn`t sure he wanted to hear the answer.
"After what I could understand from Nic she just collapsed. She`s been taken to the hospital. But Nic wasn`t there yet, so she didn`t know."
Darren was scared "Please, let her be ok. Please keep her safe!" He repeated in his mind.