Author's Note: The next part in my CJ/Toby friendship post-ep series.
Archive: Sure, just tell me.
Feedback: Makes me very, very happy.
Spoilers: Post-ep to The Leadership Breakfast, so everything up to there is game.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue, I have no money. Song's not mine either.
In the desert of my dreams I saw you there
and I'm walking towards the water steaming body cold and bare
but your words cut loose the fire and you left my soul to bleed
and the pain that's in your eyes deceiving me has got me scared
CJ sat, slumped in her chair with her head in her hands. One week. They were one week into the new year, and things had already been shot to hell. And Toby was responsible. Worse than that, she could have prevented it, if he'd just trusted her. Their words reverberated in her head. "Are you ordering me to move it to the Hill?" She had been incredulous.
"I don't like doing that"
"You're going to have to."
"Do it," it had obviously pained him to do so.
Oh why?
They had been working together in the White House for three years, and had worked two campaigns together before that, and he had never, ever ordered her to do something before. He had always trusted her. What had changed?
Through your eyes the strains of battle like a brooding storm
you're up and down these pristine velvet walls like focus never forms
Danny. Rosslyn. Christmas. Ann Stark. So many, many things had changed. They weren't who they once were, and she didn't know how to change that, how to go back to the friendship that had once been so strong. They didn't even talk anymore, unless it was about work, or to argue. They had forgotten how to just sit, and talk.
I see you now a vague deception of a dying day
This wasn't the only mistake he'd made in recent months. Since Rosslyn, he had been obsessed with picking fights, bringing up issues they couldn't discuss. Making ripples in a pool that desperately needed to stay smooth.
Oh why?
She could feel him slipping away from her.
I fall into the water and once more I turn to you
and the crowds were standing staring faceless cutting off my view to you
He had always trusted her, even through the hell of the past few months, but this time he had turned away, choosing instead to listen to someone else. Someone he thought he could trust more than her.
they start to limply flail their bodies in a twisted mime
and I'm lost inside this tangled web in which I'm lain entwined
A word hovered on the precipice of her mind, she couldn't grasp it, but it haunted her. Just like the look on Toby's face when he ordered her, just like Ann's cat ate the canary smile during the press conference, when she knew she'd won. Just like the defeat on Toby's face during the meeting in Leo's office. Just like the sick feeling in her stomach when she realized what Ann was up to.
You're gone and I'm lost inside this tangled web in which I'm lain entwined
Suddenly, the word comes to her mind, rattling around in her head, leaving a taste like bile in her mouth.
Betrayal.
Oh Why?
Finis
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