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Author's Note: 12th in my POV Series. This one's Abbey again and takes place sometime after Mary Jane. The rest of this series (and the rest of my fic) can be found at my website: http://www.geocities.com/dayglo1983
So true
funny how it seems
always in time, but never in line for dreams
head over heels, when toe to toe
this is the sound of my soul
I'm sitting on the swing of my family's porch. I came home to visit my family and for the first time in a long time, I brought someone with me. I can hear Jed talking to my brother inside. So far, my family seems to like him, which is good, I guess. I mean, I care about him a lot, but I feel like I'm getting in too deep. Something I've been wary of for a while now. I can't let myself get too close to him. I learned my lesson the last time that happened with someone.
this is the sound
I bought a ticket to the world
but now I've come back again
Finally, Clay comes out and joins me on the bench. I look at him questioningly when I notice Jed hasn't come out with him. "He's talking to dad". I nod my understanding and wait for him to continue. "I like him. He seems like a good guy. You deserve that, especially after Damian, after what he did to you." I tense at Damian's name, like I always do, and begin to fidget. It is then that I notice Jed standing in the doorway. From the expression on his face, it's obvious he's heard Clay. Jed doesn't know about Damian, no one does, except for those who were there, and he isn't spoken of. Ever.
Clay follows my gaze and sees Jed. He beats a hasty retreat, leaving us alone on the porch. I want to run, to escape from a conversation I never dreamed of having, but the look in Jed's eyes is one that convinces me that I owe it to him to explain.
why do I find it hard to write the next line
when I want the truth to be said
I look up at him, and, taking a deep breath, start what I'm sure will be the most difficult conversation of my life. "Damian is an ex-boyfriend."
Taking Clay's spot on the bench, Jed nods, "I know".
I look at him confused, "How?"
He shrugged, "I've known Jenna for years, she talked about it, once." Apparently people only keep his name mum when I'm around. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. But before I can ponder that further, Jed begins to speak again, "What I want to know is why I had to hear it from her."
I know this much is true
With a thrill in my head and a pill on my tongue
dissolve the nerves that have just begun
Jed and I had known eachother while I was with Damian, and we'd been pretty good friends, but Damian hadn't liked it when I hung out with other guys, so we had drifted apart slightly for awhile. Damian ruled my life for several months, before a particularly nasty argument landed me in the hospital. I finally realized that I couldn't live like that and I began to rebuild my life. That had included rebuilding my friendship with Jed, which has recently turned into something more. Jed's one of the few people close to me who doesn't know about Damian and I liked that, I didn't want him to know. People who know about Damian look at me differently than others do. I wanted to be able to keep that with Jed, I just don't know how to explain all that to him.
listening to Marvin all night long
this is the sound of my soul
this is the sound
always slipping from my hands
He must have noticed the look in my eyes, because he gently takes my hands. "Abbey, nothing you could ever tell me would change how I feel about you. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has periods in their lives they wish they could erase, that's okay. I love you, and nothing could make me stop."
sand's a time of it's own
take your seaside arms and write the next line
I look at him. After Damian, I had sworn that I would never let this happen again. I swore that I would never let myself fall in love again. But as I continue to look at Jed, a truth I hadn't seen makes itself clear to me. He wasn't Damian. And then, a truth that I had denied for far too long makes itself known, "I love you too, Jed".
oh I want the truth to be said
Finis
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