Disclaimers: Not mine. Song�s not mine either. Don�t sue, I have no money.
Feedback: Makes me very, very happy
Author�s Notes: Okay, so I�ve decided to write a post-ep CJ/Toby friendship series. The series is going to start second season, because, well, I haven�t seen the first season. This is a post-ep for In the Shadow of Two Gunmen, Part I, so all episodes up to there are fair game.
Give me a reason now that I can understand
Pick up the pieces now and put them in my hand
I sit in my office for a brief moment of rest. Outside, I can hear everyone bustling around. I know that in a moment I will have to go back out there, but for now I rest. I close my eyes, but open them again quickly. All I can see behind closed lids is Josh�s blood seeping through my hands and the look on Donna�s face when I told her. I can hear CJ�s voice outside. She doesn�t know it, but Sam pushed her down tonight, saved her. He will never know how grateful I am to him for that. I�m worried about her though, she can�t remember what happened tonight. But as my own memories again haunt me, I can�t help but think that maybe she�s the lucky one.
I've been up and down for you
My suffering extreme
I fell on my face for you
Now I know what it means
I run around the bullpen, trying to keep up with the information I receive, trying to keep it together, but it�s hard. My head is throbbing, and I don�t know what happened to my necklace. I know it�s a trivial thing to worry about under the circumstances, but I need to fixate on something, anything other than the fact that they�re still not sure Josh will make it. I�m worried about Toby, no one seems to know where he is. It�s hard to believe sometimes that when he brought me on, it was with optimism and faith. I think mine shattered with the glass above my head tonight.
And I self destruct
I close my eyes and then
There you are
Finally, Ginger tells me Toby�s hiding in his office. I stand on the outside of his door, collecting my thoughts, but all I can hear is shattering glass. It�s all I remember. For a moment I stand, trying desperately not to fall apart. I can�t, not tonight, there�s too much to do. I steady myself, then open his door. I see him sitting at his desk, his eyes closed.
There you are
You are
There you are
CJ and I have always been there for each other. Whenever I needed her she was there, no questions asked and I did the same for her. She�s been my constant.
Yeah you can run out west, forget you know my name
You say you got your sh*t together, but you ain't got no faith
She left me once. We were great friends, then something changed. We got into a fight the likes of which this administration has never seen. And she left. She went back out to California and I didn�t hear from her for five years. And then I followed her out, to bring her back.
Method in madness
Now there's madness in my soul
I'd run from the darkness now
I've got no place to go
And I self destruct
I close my eyes and then
There you are
I close my eyes at that memory. I brought her out here to help make a difference and instead she fell to the ground tonight as glass shattered above her. I am suddenly sickened by the thought that perhaps bringing her into this was the biggest mistake I�ve ever made. I hear the clearing of a throat and open my eyes. CJ�s standing in my doorway, watching me carefully.
There you are
You are
There you are
�We have a meeting in Leo�s office�
I nod, getting out of my chair, �okay�.
As we leave my office, she grabs my arm, �Toby, you know things are going to get better, right?�
�Yeah�
She smiles slightly, �good�.
There you are
There you are
You are
There you are
Walking to Leo�s office, I realize that things will get better. We�ve been friends longer than either of care to admit, and together we can help each other and the others. We will get better.
There you are
There you are
Finis
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