Shelter
Summary:  I've seen the anger and I've seen all the dreams/ And I've watched an existence torn apart by the seams/ And though I may seem helpless/ I will do all that I can do/ Oh I've seen a part of people that I never really/ want to share/ Oh I've seen a part of people that I never knew/ was there

Disclaimers:  Not mine.  Song's not mine either.  Don't sue, I have no money.

Archive:  Sure, just let me know.

Feedback:  Makes me very, very happy

Author's Notes:  6th in my CJ/Toby post-ep series.  This is the post-ep to Shibboleth. 


I toss and turn as the nightmare overtakes me, before waking up with a start, shooting straight up in bed.

They're crowded into the smallest spaces
While outside all of nature cries


The Chinese refugees were crowded into a boat, stuck with dead bodies for weeks, just so they could get here.  And they left because they had no choice.  They were not wanted there.  Persecuted for their religion.  The phrase runs through my mind as I go to the kitchen to make coffee.

It's known to be cruel and unfair
But there is no place to hide


I know what that feels like.  I�m aware that being beat up at school isn�t the same as what they went through, but I know the sentiment.  No place to run, to go.  No where to turn to.

Oh I've seen a part of people that I never
really want to share


I wanted to bring school prayer to the forefront, to make people confront the issue.  It needs to be discussed.  The things that people can do to each other�

Oh I've seen a part of people that I never
knew was there


After my meeting with Leo, I went and talked to CJ.  She agreed with him, although she didn�t want to.  That surprised me.  Then again, she surprised me quite a bit today.  First with the way she handled the whole turkey thing, then with her reaction to not being invited to Thanksgiving with Josh, Sam, and I.  She even agreed to come help me cook, although we both know her actual ability to assist in that area will be extremely limited.

Shelter give them shelter from the coming storm


I hear a knock on the door and open it to find CJ on the other side, covered in snow.  I step back to allow her inside.

�When�d it start snowing?�

She shrugs out of her coat as she answers, �I don�t know, but if it doesn�t stop soon, Sam and Josh might not be able to make it here.�

Shelter give them shelter from the coming storm


We go to the kitchen and begin meal preparations, laughing and joking, steering away from anything serious.  Our lives are already too filled with serious things.  We need a break, if only for a little while.

I can't sleep I'm haunted by their faces
The sadness in their eyes
It hurts so much to see them helpless
It makes me want to cry


After awhile, we grow quiet, working in companionable silence.  But as the quiet seeps in, my mind wanders.  It�s been doing that a lot lately, wandering to times I�d rather not ever remember.  It�s bad enough during the day, but at night, it�s worse, because it all jumbles together and time becomes moot in the haunted recesses of my mind.

But still there is so much left unanswered
for so many innocent lives


CJ and I start when we hear the sharp rapping on the door, and as I go to answer it, I wonder how long it will take for us to stop doing that.  I wonder how long it will take for us to stop reacting to every sharp noise as though it�s a gunshot.

They close the doors and are letting nobody in
And only the strong will survive....


I�m so lost in my thoughts that I forget to unlock the door before I attempt to open it.  I hear Sam and Josh on the other side, �Come on Toby, it�s cold out here!�

Oh I've seen a part of people that I never
really want to share


I finally open the door and let them in.  They�re even more covered in snow than CJ was.

Oh I've seen a part of people that I never
knew was there
Shelter give them shelter from the coming storm


My mind is taken from my dark thoughts as the four of us joke around, and for just a moment, it�s like old times.  It�s like before, and we can almost forget that Rosslyn ever happened.

Shelter give them shelter from the coming storm


We decide to bring the food to the living room so we can watch the football game as we eat.  CJ pretends to be exasperated by this, but she grew up with two brothers, so I doubt this is anything new to her.

I've seen the anger and I've seen all the dreams
And I've watched an existence torn apart at the seams
And though I may seem helpless
I will do all that I can do


During half time, Sam and Josh go to the kitchen to raid it for more food, and CJ takes the opportunity to call her father.  I�m left to sit alone in the living room, and think how close I came to losing these people, and how I would do anything to keep it from happening again.

Shelter give them shelter from the coming storm


Suddenly, half-time�s over and everyone coming back into the room.  I turn my attention back to what�s going on around me.  And, for a moment, all that matters in right here, right now, and the people that are with me.

Shelter give them shelter from the coming storm


Finis
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