Author�s Notes: The song Tears in Heaven is by Eric Clapton. All other notes are in the first chapter.
I slowly hear voices fade back in. I can hear people talking again. NO! Just let me go, PLEASE! Why won�t they just let me go?
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
Then a new voice comes in. It�s Grissom.
�Lindsey keeps asking when you�re going to wake up. All I can tell her is I don�t know.�
No, please, I want to beg. Don�t tell me about Lindsey. It�s hard enough to leave her as it is. Please don�t do this to me.
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.
But he keeps on talking, keeps on telling me how worried everyone is about me. I try to shut him out, try to not listen, but I can�t. There�s nothing I can do to make his voice stop.
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
He tells me how much everyone needs me, how much Lindsey needs me. He doesn�t need me, though. Gil Grissom doesn�t need anyone. And I know he�ll take care of the rest of the team. He�ll take care of Lindsey, too. I know that, or else I would never leave like this.
I'll find my way through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven.
With this thought, I allow myself to begin to drift away again. Gil�s voice begins to fade. But through the fog, I hear him speak: �I need you too Catherine.�
I fight my way back as I hear his words. I have to hear what he�s saying.
�I don�t know when exactly, but somewhere along the way I�ve come to depend on you. You�re vital to who I am. It frightens me really, to find that I need someone as much as I need you, but I do. You can�t die Cath, I need you.�
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.
No, I tell myself, he doesn�t need anyone. Why�s he doing this to me? Why can�t he just let me be? Just let me go Gil, please. All I want is to go home. It�s too hard here. It�s just too hard.
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
And then I hear his last, desperate plea, �Live, please�. And I know I can�t leave him. As much as I want to be able to, I can�t.
I must be strong and carry on,
I hear him leave and panic begins to overtake me. I struggle to wake up. He has to know that I heard him. With great effort, a single word passes through my lips: �Gil�.
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven
TBC
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