Released: 1999
Directed By: Trey Parker
Written By: Trey Parker, Matt Stone
Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Issac Hayes
Rating: R
Rent or Buy?: BUY
Story:
�Uh-Oh�
Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflofski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick from South Park, Colorado, pay a homeless man $10 to sneak them into an R rated Canadian film called �Terrance & Phillip: Asses of Fire.� (based on their favourite TV show � �Terrance & Phillip�) The movie is filled with crude language and behaviour that causes the audience of the movie to leave in disgust. The boys remain and begin to imitate Terrance and Phillip�s crude language. They show-off their new vocabulary to the other kids who also go to see the movie, except Stan�s girlfriend Wendy Testaburger and her new friend Gregory whom seems to be moving in on Stan�s territory.
At school, Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny use their new vocabulary to their teacher Mr. Garrison. Mr. Garrison sends them to see the school counselor Mr. Mackey. Mr. Mackey calls the boys mothers. Kyle�s mother Sheila Broflofski starts a crusade against Terrance and Phillip�s bad language and eventually against the root of the problem � Canada. After seeing the Terrance and Phillip movie again, Cartman bets Kenny he can�t perform a trick done in the movie involving fire (you figure it out) Kenny is burned to death, but is resuscitated in the hospital, only to find that the doctors accidentally replaced his heart with a baked potato. Kenny dies. Thinking he�s ascending into Heaven, Kenny pushed the button to the gates of Heaven only to be declined and plummets down to the Hell. Once in Hell, he meets Satan and his new �partner� Saddam Huessein. Satan however is feeling abused by Saddam Huessein, who only wants sex from Satan. In response to Kenny�s death influenced by the movie, Sheila starts �Mothers Against Canada� or �M.A.C�
Meanwhile on Earth, Terrance and Phillip appear on �Late Night With Conan O�Brien� where they are captured by M.A.C. Feeling remorse for narking on Terrance and Phillip, Conan commits suicide. At the United Nations, the United States makes fun of Canada�s accent. In response to all the abuse, Canada bombs the Baldwins. In turn, the United States declares war on Canada. Leading the way is Sheila Broflofski who orders Terrance and Phillip executed.
Caught insulting Sheila, Cartman has a V-Chip implanted in him that shocks him whenever he swears. Learning of Terrance and Phillip�s execution, Satan reveals to Saddam that it is the last sign of the Apocalypse and once they�re dead, Satan and Saddam will be able to rule the Earth. Kenny overhears this and appears to Cartman in a vision warning him of what will happen. Cartman tells Kyle and Stan, but they don�t believe him.
Feeling they need to stop their mothers, the boys start a secret club called �La Resistance� which plans a mission to free Terrance and Phillip from a U.S.O. show where they�re to be executed. Helping Stan, Kyle and Cartman is a kid named Christoph or �The Mole.�
At the U.S.O. show, The Mole is killed by guard dogs and Terrance and Phillip are electrocuted, but at the same time, the Canadians attack the show and battle begins. Cartman frees Terrance and Phillip. Just as they are about to escape, the Americans corner them. La Resistance covers them, but Sheila shoots past them and kills Terrance and Phillip. Satan and Saddam Huessein rise up. Kenny climbs out of Hell as well.
Impervious to conventional weapons, Saddam begins doing Satan�s job as the Dark Ruler. Making the mistake of calling Cartman fat, Saddam is shocked by Cartman�s malfunctioning V-Chip. Cartman goes on a curse tangent and severely shocks Saddam. Insulting Satan for the last time, Satan impales Saddam on a pointy rock. . .destroying him. Granting Kenny�s one wish because he convinced him to forget about Saddam, Satan pulls back all of his minions back to Hell and restores the world before the war happened. As Americans and Canadians celebrate their rekindled friendship, Kenny finally ascends into Heaven.
Kyle Haight's Review:
Who�d have thunk that one of the best movies of 1999 would have come from Trey Parker and Matt Stone? This movie is a non-stop riot and doesn�t let up for a minute. What one wouldn�t probably expect the abundance of songs in the film which is in fact a good thing. The songs are just as funny as the normal dialogue. Since the series had been dropping a bit in quality about the time this was released, this movie was a nice pick-me-up for the TV series. The movie isn�t all crude humour either, it reaches a �1992-1995 Simpsons� quality of intelligence which just enhances this already great movie. Recommended for all.
* * * 2/3 out of 4 stars
Hilarious/Memorable Quotes:
Mrs. McCormick: Fine! You go ahead and miss church and then when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan!
Kenny McCormick: Okay!
***
Stan Marsh: Can I have five tickets to �Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire� please?
Movie Clerk: (smiles) NO!
***
Kyle Broflofski: Let me have some of that candy Cartman.
Eric Cartman: Let�s see. . .nope! I don�t have any Jewish candy!
***
(After seeing the movie)
Kyle Broflofski: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!
Eric Cartman: You bet your fucking ass it was!
Stan Marsh: Fuck, dude! I want to be just like Terrance and Phillip.
***
Eric Cartman: Don�t call me fat you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the �F-Word�?
Eric Cartman: Jew?
Kyle Broflofski: No, he�s talking about �fuck.� You can�t say fuck in school you fuckin� fat ass!
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Erc Cartman: Why the fuck not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan Marsh: Dude, you just said �fuck� again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny McCormick: Fuck.
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Eric Cartman: What�s the big deal? It doesn�t hurt anybody! Fuck, fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck!
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to see the school counselor?
Eric Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
Eric Cartman: Oh, I�m sorry. I�m sorry. What I meant was: (picks up megaphone) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
Stan Marsh: Holy shit, dude.
***
Eric Cartman: Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question?
Mr. Mackey: M�Kay, what?
Eric Cartman: What�s the big fuckin� deal, bitch?
***
Gregory: I don�t think I belong here with these rogues. I went to school at Yarddale and had a 4.0 grade point average.
Eric Cartman: You�re a fuckin� faggot, dude.
***
Eric Cartman: I bet him he couldn�t do it. I bet him $100.
Kyle Broflofski: Don�t worry, dude. It wasn�t your fault.
Eric Cartman: Dude, I know. I�m just fuckin� stoked I don�t have to pay him.
***
U.N. Chairman: What say you Mr. American Ambassador?
American Ambassador: Fuck Canada!
Canadian Ambassador: Hey, fuck you buddy!
***
(After hearing the Canadians have bombed the Baldwins)
Mr. Garrison: All the Baldwins are dead?!
***
(The boys are singing �What Would Brain Boitano Do?�)
Brian Dennehy: Someone say my name?
Stan Marsh: Who are you?
Brian Dennehy: I�m Brian Dennehy.
Kyle Broflofski: Dude, not fuckin� Brain Dennehy!
Stan Marsh: Yeah, get the fuck out of here!
***
Mr. Garrison: This uniform makes me feel like a tough-brute man, Mr. Hat!
Mr. Hat: You can say that again Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison: I can�t wait until our first shore leave so I can get me some fuckin� poontang.
***
Army General: Fucking Windows 98! Get Bill Gates in here!
(Bill Gates comes in)
Army General: You told us Windows 98 would be faster and more efficient with better access to the Internet!
Bill Gates: It is faster! Over 5 million. . .
(Army General shoots him in the face)
***
The Mole: You must shut off the alarms! I FUCKING HATE GUARD-DOGS!
Eric Cartman: I heard you the first time you British piece of shit!
***
Eric Cartman: Kyle, all those times I called you a big dumb Jew. I didn�t mean it. You�re not a Jew.
Kyle Broflofski: Yes I am! I am a Jew, Cartman!
Eric Cartman: No, Kyle. Don�t be so hard on yourself.
***
Eric Cartman: What the hell am I still holding this for?
(Throws Mr. Hat into the battlefield)
Mr. Garrison: Mr. Hat!! Nooooooooooo!!!!