Winner of the English Student
Division of the 2004 Language and Learning Centre/Royal Literary Fund Student
Writing Competition
Gorgeous pristine
summer
Mother and child
step into
This
new place.
The air is light
and vibrant where the sun shines
Only
leaving a cool trail of Welsh winter/spring.
Some are only
just
Friendly.
And then
7
shades of hostility.
The shimmering
blue sky
The soft white
sand beach,
Packed with
west-midland tourists
Provides a facade
for what is yet to come.
Hostility in the
first house is rife.
The tenants are
shallow-minded
Robots
Go from 9 till 5
Structure
Straight straight straight!
Outside it’s
summer
For her,
It is January
inside.
They fly past her
on the stairs.
Who is she?
Whispers whispers:
About the crumbs
in the kitchen
The blood left
behind
With
the razor’s cut.
They don’t “like
her”
The shallow small
talk provides no disguise.
They don’t like
the child.
In the house
In
the street.
He makes happy
squeals
Cheerful chirps
And sometimes a
plaintive calling sound.
What is his—rrr
Problem?
Mum “can’t” cope.
She
Struggles!
On her own
Always
on her own.
She
Needs needs needs help!
In walks Nanny
The life police!
They pretend that
they can be trusted
All the time
inspecting—
Eyes on the floor
The little drop
of dirt
A
piece of paper.
They need to do their job!
Arrange her
“Help her”
Oh the child…
And
what about the poor child?
He’s dressed
clean
Healthy life
Believes in the
fairies
Loves his earth
mama
Happy smile
Beautiful boy
Who is she?
She’s
Oh dear oh dear…
Old lady springs
to her feet when—
She and the child
walk into the café.
“Oh here darling,
let me…”
She sneers and
cringes in disgust and anger
Patronising
At
the lack of respect.
She’s
Oh but she’s not
a mum,
Not a woman
Just a girl
She needs needs needs
Help!
One person was
welcoming
One person made
them both food
In
the new house.
What’s her story?
Where’s she from?
They saw you last
night
You were…
Oh but she’s kinda—rrr
Scary
Too real
Doesn’t blend in
She’s bright and
Psycho-delic.
Nice to look at,
but…
Different
Has the nerve to
say when she’s offended.
Oh in “this but”?
Not on her own
She doesn’t
belong.
In the pub she
walks
All the men are
shrouded in oblivious smoke
They look up.
Oh!
She’s—rrr
Uh
Feet shuffle
And
his pint.
The life police
watch her every move.
The microscope
follows wherever she goes.
They found out
that she…
They heard…
Someone called in
and said…
Oh dear oh dear
And
what about the child?
He
Got
ill.
She allowed him
to get ill!
Took him
somewhere dangerous and free
We know!
We saw it on the
news
We saw it through
our tunnel-vision.
She sits alone
Always
alone.
Aching
hungry
starved
not loved
never liked
wanted
sought for
People are
Repelled
Scared
Don’t know what
to say.
What “do you do
with her?”
She needs needs needs
Help.
Up the stairs
To
find the door.
Don’t ask her to
the party
Don’t invite her
for a drink.
Just help her!
They don’t talk
to her
But behind her
Questions
Little whispers
And then,
Talk about
something more comfortable.
Don’t touch her
She
Wouldn’t
understand.
Are you alright love?
Men think
Shag her!
Well but…
She can’t “see
me”
To add to my
Uh
Secure picture
frame
You know what I
need…
She?
Just needs
looking after
Get her out the
door
‘Cause it makes
me feel like a man
To help
Good
Samaritan.
What, her?
She shouts in the
wind
Trying
Demanding
To be heard.
Tears aren’t
there
Just rocks
That
have weighed her down
For
years.
dry
numb
there is no love.
only for the child
because the child allows her to
because the child loves her back
but “they” don’t.
the middle-aged woman in the wholefood shop
is miserable,
distant and cold.
she serves her
because she has to…
her red hot anger burns.
smouldering
volcano
Waiting
to erupt.
Waiting
to explode.
the other students are
afraid
scared
what do they “do with her?”
just help her
just help her.
not to the party
not to the pub.
not with us
he wouldn’t
couldn’t take her out
she
well
is different.
needs looking after
And uh-rrrrr
how would she know about…
would she know what to do
or where to put it
and what about…
her intellect is left to rot away.
would anyone listen?
would anyone want it?
would anyone care?
she knows the answer
don’t tell them
her thoughts
they’d freak
they wouldn’t like to know
that she hates them all
because they hate her first.
Reject her
Because
they’re repelled.
She
Needs needs needs
Help!
They used to
shove it down her throat
In
the last town.
The grabbing hands
The constant constant
“Are you alright love?”
The middle-aged
bag’s voice would
And always will
Patronise
Belittle.
“oh, it must be so hard to…”
well,
what if she went to
Patagonia
Or Trinidad
or an island all her own.
there’d be no frowning
no rejection
no misery
no hostility
she wouldn’t be seen as needy needy needy.
she might find love with the animals and the
sea there.
she might find truth
she might even find acceptance
with the trees.
but in this town…
and, what if
she said
she was bi
and maybe didn’t need need
need
men, anyway?
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh a gasp
red flag!
It’s time to go
time to break free
time to get out of this town
break free of this life
it’s the loneliest life I’ve ever known.
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