Yes, it happened
one week ago today and, I'm just settling down into the drudgery of day-to-day
living without the stress, pressure or agenda of yet another reading to do,
essay to write or exam to revise for.
I graduated from
the
Everything was in
place and all the plans had been finalised.
I had ordered the tickets the first day they were made available, as
well as the cap and gown.
I invited Josie,
a faithful sister, Rob my supportive lover/man, Jasper my son and soul mate and
Hazel, who had been the most reliable research assistant/note-taker and mate
one could ask for.
Hazel had agreed
to help me onto the stage and come with me to the rehearsal and collect my cap
and gown, which was a relief, because I didn't know precisely where the
collection place was or where to do the professional photos.
Rob Josie and
Jasper all arrived at the house in separate times on the Tuesday night, before
the 'big morning' and I had decided to wear the gorgeous hippy goddess-like
dress that Rob had bought me as yet another present.
I cooked dinner
that evening and Josie, Rob and I had glasses of wine in anticipation.
The next day, I
woke up at half 7 promptly, which is not the usual, showered, dressed and ate
toast, although I hardly had an appetite.
I ran around
making sure Rob didn't forget my camera, Jasper had his clothes sorted, and
gave the tickets and parking permit to Rob.
Hazel came at
just after 9 as was arranged, and away we went.
We went to
registration, then rehearsal and to collect the cap and gown. It was all so routine and structured, but of
course for that day, it was special and not to be missed.
All of the
organisers and admin staff were cheery and seemed nicer than usual. I paid for the photos, which were to be done
after the ceremony, then went back to the arts centre
for me to join the Old Students Association (OSA).
Just
that final and last nicety to form links with the place forever, I figured,
what the hell.
Everyone filed
back into the great hall, listened to the organ music being played and waited
for the start.
At long last, the
ceremonial rituals started, with both Welsh and English, but mostly the
lyrical, rhythmic Welsh language filled the room with humble salutations.
As the names were
read in small groups, students filed forward, clamoured onto the stage and
listened as the dean and vice-president of the University repeated the same
Welsh greeting of good will, time and time again.
Hazel finally
whispered, "It's us," and she then led me to the side of the stage.
We walked up the
few steps and, I don't think I can quite describe how I felt just then!
I felt elated,
kind of sad, hugely relieved and a lot in between.
As we sat down
after the applause, the biggest sadness overcame me and, it took everything not
to cry.
A voice in my
head kept saying, "Mum should be here, she would have wanted to be here
and see."
Okay, so I don't
have a relationship with her, we don't even get on or communicate well as
people let alone mother and daughter; yet I knew, beyond doubt, that it was her
that would have been the biggest beacon of pride and encouragement.
The interval
brought bitter sweet harp music, accompanied by a flute, as a traditional Welsh
gesture. It was during the interval,
listening to this soft calming, melodic music that I had the hardest time
fighting back the tears.
In the mean time,
Hazel had said she couldn't see Jasper, Josie and Rob, who were supposed to
meet us there later.
They hadn't taken
the reserved seats with us, so we figured they were late.
Fortunately,
Hazel spotted them, high above us in the risers.
After the
ceremony, we joined up with them strait away.
I asked, "Were you late?"
"No,"
Josie said. “We were here on time, just
sat up there.”
"The seats
were reserved for you to sit with us!" I said anxiously, but never mind at
least they had seen the whole thing.
The next thing,
Jasper threw his arms around me and gave me the biggest, most beautiful,
knowing understanding hug!
The cuddles
lingered from him as Josie took photos with the window in the background. Rob was next, full of pride, kind loving
sentiment; the kind I just wasn't going to get from family, apart from Tia, who had already stressed pride and good wishes.
The fact remained
though, if I hadn't been the one to call her and tell her the news, with a view
to trying to get a hold of Mum, she would have never known.
Hazel later said,
"Sometimes friends are more important and supportive than family."
And of course she was right.
We briefly milled
around, but I had a mission to fulfil. I
had to get the framed message to Interpol; practically my only vessel of real
'practical support' and understanding throughout the stress and strains of the
4 years.
We were of
course, practically the first ones there, apart from a few officials, one of
which was Patrick Finney, the undergraduates director.
He had granted me
the extension on my dissertation and a number of essays. So, I presented him
with the message, written in both Welsh and English.
He seemed his
usual matter of fact self, but Rob then said to me, "I could see it in his
eyes. It meant a lot to him."
We mingled and I
saw lecturers I had had in the past, including Ayla Gol, who hadn't been supportive of me going to
Patrick then got
up to speak and present some awards. I of
course thought nothing of it - I didn't win things!
As he announced
the award winners and came to the third one, everybody of course listened in
anticipation.
When he announced
'I had won' the J. Elizabeth Morris award for academic achievement and contribution
to the department of international politics, I was simply taken aback!
I was humbled,
not knowing quite what to say, as Rob and Hazel congratulated me further. I thought, this
makes up for the lack of the higher mark I didn't attain; this is the perfect
exchange between an establishment and student.
I had presented
them with my message of thanks and gratitude and they in turn, had presented
me, with an award for the best academic achievements, the most contribution.
Had I really taught
them something? Did I somehow make some
sort of difference I wasn't even aware of?
We all went and
got lunch, went to take the pro shots and to return the cap and gown.
I had 'DONE
IT'! It was finished - all over! The degree, whatever the mark, was mine and I
had worked for it and worked HARD.
We decided to
take a walk down the seafront. Hazel
went away to pick up her partner and get on with her family time.
I floated through
the rest of that day in total relief and humble bliss. This was mine! I did it myself and no one could take it.
The people I had
around me, were behind me all the way, as Rob had
first uttered that morning as I woke up and gathered myself up for the day.
At some point I
mentioned "This has been the happiest day for me, apart from when Jasper
was born." They all laughed and the
party we had on Saturday night was like no other party I had had in my lonely
adult/student life!
So I turn the
page and start a new chapter.
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