Pool

I was done with you.
I had turned my head and walked away from our past.
But you grabbed my arm like so many times before,
And you pulled me back to you.
I saw in those eyes of yours the pleading.
I felt the desperation in your touch.
You pulled me in and held me tight.
You knew that's all I wanted.
That's what I need.
But it can't be like that.
Not anymore.
I keep turning around and looking back.
I can't seem to walk away without a glance;
And that glance is what has me trapped.
Trapped in this whirlwind of emotion and hope.
What we want is what we had.
But what we had died a year ago,
When you turned your back on my crying eyes,
And my voice of reason.
You didn't want to listen to what I had to say.
And now you're back again.
Pulling me back into that hope of the past.
I thought I had moved far enough away that your grasp couldn't get me.
I was wrong.
Now I doubt if I ever tried to leave.
Did I truly believe what I told them after the last breakup?
I thought I did, but now that I've seen you I'm not so sure.
I couldn't figure out why I was nervous about your return.
Didn't really think much about the fact that I didn't ask when you'd be back.
But then she told me, and I realized I didn't want to know.
I denied everything i thought and heard.
I didn't want it to be true.
But now I fear it is, and that only angers me.
I want to act without thinking.
I want you to hold me close, and let me know it's ok.
I want to hurt you for that.
I want to destroy you, and make you feel the pain I am.
I want to forget all about you and move on.
But something's holding me back.
Perhaps it's my conscience.
Or Maybe my hatred for her.
Maybe it's all the unresolved issues I can't even remember.
I just want to say To Hell with you,
And forget all the good things you've done.
To only remember the bad,
And waste away in my anger.