|
"Ashaduan la ilaha illa Allah wa ashaduanna Muhammadan Rasool Allah" ( I bear witness that there is no deity except Allah (God) and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah (God). Masha Allah Yah Allah Maddad Peace & Unity through islamic study. islam is No.1 Religion for the World. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1-Tauba Those who believe in the Prophet and affirm their intention to live according to their teachings also sometimes fall into error. They are misled by the Devil or by their own baser instincts and impulses into committing a sin. For such defaulters God has kept the door of Tauba (Repentance) open. Tauba means that if a person many slim into folly and be guilty of a sin or an act of transgression against the law of God he should feel genuinely sorry and ashamed over it, and resolve sincerely not to do so again, and seek the forgiveness of God with all his heart. It is stated in the Quran and the Traditions that by doing only this much a man's sin is forgiven and he succeeds in winning the pleasure of the Almighty. It is essential to know that Tauba is not vocal penitence. It is not at all a matter of uttering so many words of repentance. The sorrow must be sincere, the shame must be felt in the heart and the resolution not to repeat the folly and be guilty of the sin again must be totally genuine. It is like this, Suppose in a fit of temper or in a moment of acute depression a person swallows poison with the intention of killing himself. But when the poison begins to work and a thousand knives begin to tear his intestines into pieces and he knows that death is near, he repents his folly and cries our in desperation for medical relief. Now, at that time, his first thought will be that if he survived he would never touch the poison again or think of committing suicide. This exactly should be the state of the man who repents after sin. His heart should be seized by the fear of Divine Chastisement, the resolution not to do the thing again should be an honest resolution and so also his entreaties to God for forgiveness. If such a state of feeling is relised by a person in any degree he should be sure that the stain of sin has been washed away and the gate of mercy have opened for him. After such a Tauba the sinner is completely absolved of his sin, he is thoroughly sanctified and becomes even dearer in the sight of God than he was before, so much so that sometimes a person succeeds in attaining, through Tauba, a place which would be hard to reach even after a hundred years of prayer and fasting. All this that we have said on the subject of Tauba was derived entirely from the twin sources of the Quran and the Traditions. We are going now to consider some of the relevant verses of the Quran: O ye who believe! turn to God with sincere repentance : in the hope that your Lord will remove from you your ills and admit you to Gardens beneath which rivers flow. (LXVI: 8) Why turn they not to God, and seek his forgiveness ? For God is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful. (V:77) When those come to thee who believe in our sign, say: "Peace be on you! your Lord hath inscribed for himself (the rule of ) Mercy: Verily, if any of you did evil in ignorance, and amended (his conduct); lo, He is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful." (VI : 54) Also, look at the following Traditions: "God says, O My Creatures ! you commit follies day and night and I can forgive them all. so, seek My forgiveness. I will forgive." "God extends the arm of Mercy and forgiveness every night so that the sinners of the day may repent and seek His pardon and every day so that the sinners of the night may repent and seek His pardon and it shall be like this with God till the sun rises from the West near the Doomsday." "A man committed a sin and then he prayed to God, `O Lord, I have sinned. Forgive me Upon this, the Lord observed, My servant knows that there is a God who can punish him for his as well as forgive. I have forgiven the sin of my servant. The person abstained from sin as long as the Lord wished after which he again went astray and fell into transgression. He once again prayed to God, `O Lord, I have sinned. Forgive me. The Lord observed. My servant know that there is a God who can chastise him for sinning as well as forgive. I have forgiven the sin of my servant. He remained free from sin as long as the Lord wished and then was again guilty of it. Once again he prayed to God, O Lord, I have sinned. Forgive me The Lord observed, My servant knows for certain that there is a God who can punish as well as forgive him for his sin. I have forgiven the sin of My servant. " On who seeks Divine forgiveness after sin become like one who has never been guilty of a sin. These Traditions show how merciful and oft Forgiving is the Lord. To get emboldened by them and to start indulging freely in sinful activities on the strength of Tauba is not worthy of a Muslim. Such verses and Traditions should, on the contrary, lend greater strength to the love of God. They should make one feel that it really was the height of meanness to act against the wishes of such a compassionate and Benevolent Lord. If a master be of a most kind and affectionate nature, would it become his servants to pay back his kindness and effect ion by violating his wishes and disobeying his commands? What these verses and Traditions seek to convey is that should a person succumb to the temptations of the Devil or to his own ignoble desires and inclinations and commit a sin he must not despair of the mercy of the Lord and lose all hope of salvation. He should, on the other hand, turn his back immediately on the lapse and try earnestly to remove its stain through Tauba, by begging God, in all sincerity, His forgiveness. The Almighty, in his infinite Mercy, will forgive and instead of being angry with him, he will become even more pleased for regretting sincerely what he had done and turning to Him hopefully for remission. A Tradition States: "When a man turns to God after sin and repents sincerely for his folly it makes God even happier than a rider whose mount may have thrown him down in a vast desert and fled away with all the journey's provisions laden on its back, and, when the rider may have resigned himself to his fate and sat down under a tree to wait for his death, the animal may return, all of a sudden, with the provisions intact and the ride may catch hold of it and blurt our (stupidly) in sheer joy, 'O God, Thou, indeed, art may slave and me thy Master." If, after knowing these verses and Traditions, someone still fails to seek Divine forgiveness. and approbation by offering repentance for his sins through Tauba and resolving not to fall into error again he, emphatically, is most unfortunate. Many people are inclined to take a most complacent attitude towards Tauba. They say, "We are healthy and strong, so what's the hurry ? We will do Tauba before dying. "Brother, this is an extremely dangerous deception which the devil practices on us. Deprived as he has himself of Divine mercy and Beneficence and earned a permanent abode in the hell. he wants us also to go his way. No one knows when death may strike. Thus, we should consider every day to be the last day of our lives and lose no time in begging the forgiveness of God if and when we have been guilty of an evil. This alone, is the path of wisdom. It is stated candidly in the Quran that: God accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards: to them will God turn in mercy: for God is full of knowledge and wisdom. Of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil, until death faces one of them, and he says, "Now have I repented indeed ! "Nor of those who die rejecting faith: for them have We prepared a punishment most grievous. (V:17-18) We should catch time by the forelock and realise the value of life that is left to us. We should not put off Tauba by a moment; we must not procrastinate. We ought to set about, at once, reforming our ways. God alone knows when death is going to make its call on us, and then, it may be too late. Who can tell whether, at that time, we will get the opportunity to offer Tauba or not? Brother, we all have seen people dying. The general experience is that a person dies in the same state in which he has led his life. It does not happen that a person may have spent all his days in folly and negligence and, then, suddenly repented and turned into a saint a day or two before his death. Hence, a man who wants to die in a state of piety, for him it is necessary to become pious in his lifetime. Then alone can he hope to die as a good Muslim, by the grace of God, and to be raised up with the faithful and the righteous in the Hereafter. If after offering repentance for a sin a person may be guilty of the same sin again there is no need for him to feel so frustrated over it as to lose faith in Divine Mercifulness. He should offer Tauba quickly again, and if again he may break it he should not hesitate in offering it once more even if it be a thousand times. Whenever he will repent with a sincere heart it is the promise of God that He will accept his repentance and forgive him. The Benevolence of the Lord. His paradise, is Infinite. Words of Tuba From the forgoing it would have been clear that in whatever words or language a person may offer Tauba God will listen and accept his penitence. But the holy Prophet has laid down certain specific phrases or prayers in this regard which he used to recite himself. These prayers, surely, are most auspicious, most worthy of his acceptance and most pleasing to Him. We are reproducing some of these here for you to learn by heart and recite for seeking divine for giveness. I beg the forgiveness of the Lord save whom there is no God. the living, the Eternal. Unto Him do I turn penitent. The Prophet has said, "Whoever will offer penitence to God and implore His forgiveness through this kalmah God will forgive him even if he has fled from the field of jehad which is a most sin in the sight of God." And again: "Whoever will recite this Kalmah thrice before going to sleep God will forgive his sins even though they may be as profuse as the foam of the sea." Saiyyid-el-istighfar O God ! Thou art my Lord. There is no God save Thee. Thou art my creator and I am Thy slave. I abide by thy covenant and promise as best as I can. I seek refuge in thee from the mischief of what I have wrought. I acknowledge unto Thee Thy favour which Thou haste bestowed upon me, I also confess mine inequity; so forgive me for none forgiveth sins save thee. Says the prophet: "He who will offer repentance and beg the forgiveness of God reciting this prayer with faith and sincerity during day-time then if he died on that day, before nightfall, he shall go to Heaven, and he who will recite it at night, with faith and sincerity, and then go to Heaven. " The three Kalmah of Touba we have mentioned above are easy to remember. As a Tradition reads: "Blessed, indeed, is the man in whose record the profusion of Tauba is written." Right of Parents The most primary relationship in this world exists between man and his parents. In islam the rights of parents have been described as next only to the right of God. To quote from the Quran: The Lord has ordained that ye worship none but Him; and to show kindness to your parents whether one or both of them attain to old age with thee; and say not to them "fie ! " neither reproach them; but speak to them both with respectful speech; and defer humbly to them out of tenderness; and say, "Lord ! have compassion on them both, even as they reared me when I was little." (XVII:22-24) Another verse of the holy book goes on to tell that should the parents of a person be polytheists and want him also to follow their faith, he ought to decline to obey them, but even then he should continue to treat them well and to behave towards them with respect. The exact words of the verse are: "But if they strive to make thee join in worship with me things of which thou haste no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration). (XXXI:15) Besides the Quran, and in the Tradition also, a very great stress has been laid on rendering full devotion and obedience to one's parents. To disobey one's parents, to ignore their feelings, or to disregard their comfort or happiness in any other way has been characterized by the Prophet as a grievous sin. Take these Traditions, for example: "In the pleasure of parents lies the pleasure of God, and in their displeasure, the displeasure, of God." Once a person enquired from the Prophet, "What are the rights of parents? "The Prophet replied, "Parents are the heaven and hell of their children (meaning that salvation and Paradise could be gained by serving one's parents well while disobedience to and ill-treatment of them could lead one to hell)." The Prophet once observed, "Every time a dutiful son or daughter looks with affection and respect towards his or her father or mother God writes against his or her name the reward of an approved Haj, "Upon this, some of the Companions enquired, "Our Master! Suppose a person does so a hundred times each day, will he, even then, be given the reward of an approved Haj for every glance he casts? "Yes", the Prophet replied, "God is most great, most holy (meaning that the bounty of the Lord is boundless)." "Heaven lies under the feet of the parents." The Prophet once said to the Companions that the most mortal sins in the world were three: "To associate anyone with God, to disobey parents, and to give false evidence." Again, "There are three types of men towards whom God will not look with mercy on the Day of judgment, and one of them are those who disobey their parents." Rights of Children Islam has laid an equal stress on the rights of children on parents also. We will leave out here the responsibility of parents to feed and clothe their children since there is found in them an instinctive awareness of it and they carry it out normally and in the natural way. The rights of our children about which we are generally careless and neglectful are those concerning their moral and religious training and up bringing islam has made it binding on us, as a matter of duty, that we brought up our wards and children in such a way that they din not have to make their way to hell after death. We are required to be extremely careful in this respect. Say the Quran: O ye who believe ! save yourselves and your families from the fire of Hell. (LXVI :6) The Prophet has, in a Tradition, stressed the need of giving proper training to children in these words: "No better gift can there be from a father to his children than that he brought them up properly." Some parents are more fond of their sons than daughters. They take a great interest in the upbringing of their male issues while the welfare and training of the female one's is generally neglected by them. Daughters are sometimes, considered to be a burden. For this reason, Islam has devoted particular attention to the proper upbringing of girls and extolled it as an act of great virtue. The holy Prophet has said: "Anyone who has a daughter or a sister and he treats her well and looks after her welfare and training carefully and marries her at the right place. God will reward him with paradise." Mutual Rights Between Husband and Wife Conjugal relationship occupies a place of outstanding importance in the economy of human affairs. It is a most strong and intimate tie that binds husband and wife into a life-long partnership. Islam, therefore, has furnished a complete guidance in respect of it as well. In a nutshell, Islam demands from wives to be scrupulously faithful to their husbands and to remain their best friends and true well wishes and never to betray their trusts. The Quran declares: Therefore, the righteous women are obedient, and guard (in the husband's) absence. (IV:34) And from husbands it requires that they should give of their love ungrudgingly to their wives, maintain them as best as they can within their means and leave nothing to be desired by way of their emotional contentment Says, again, the Quran: Live with your wives on a footing of kindness and equity. (IV:19) In keeping with these teachings of the Quran, the Prophet used to attach profound importance to the harmony of married life among Muslim. He used to urge upon Muslim husbands and wives to keep each other happy and to attend to each other happy and to attend to each others needs and interests with loving care. Some of his Traditions in this connection read: "If a man calls his wife to him and the wife refuses and he stays annoyed with her during the night, the angels will not cease to curse her name till day -break." "The woman who dies in such a state that her husband is pleased with her shall go to heaven." "By the Lord in whose power lies the life of Muhammad, no woman can fulfill the rights of God who does not fulfill the rights of her husband." "Charge you to be kind to your wives. Remember this advice of mine. See, they are subordinate to you and in your power." "Good among you are those who are good to their wives." "He is the most perfect believer (in God) who is perfect in his manners and most affectionate towards his wife and children." Rights of Relatives Besides our parents and children and husbands or wives there also exists a special tie of kinship between us and our other relatives. Islam has paid due attention to his aspect of our social existence, too, and evolved certain rights and duties in respect of it. Thus, in the Quran we are told to be kind to our kinsmen and one who disregards and pays on heed to the bonds of kinship has been condemned as a transgressor and a sinner of the worst order. The Prophet once said , "He who violates the rights of kinsmen and shows no respect for the bonds of kinship in his conduct shall not go to heaven." In this connection a special advice of the Prophet is that if a relative violates the ties of relationship with regard to us even then we should continue to fulfill, on our part, the obligations we have towards him. The exact words of the holy prophet are, "If a near relative treats you indifferently and ignores the bond of relationship do not turn your back on him but keep o discharging, on you part, the obligations of relationship towards him." Rights of the Old on the Young and of the Young on the Old It is a general principle of Islamic Social behaviour that everyone should respect his elders and carry himself with due deference in their presence. In the same way, those who are older are required to treat those who are younger to them with kindness and affection, even if there be no relationship between them. Said the Prophet: "He is not us who is not affectionate to those who are younger than himself and respectful to those who are older." "For the young man who will honour an old man because of his years God will appoint men who will honour him in his old age." Rights of Neighbours Apart from relatives, there obtains a permanent association also between a man and his neighbours. In Islam full attention has, accordingly, been paid to it and definite instructions have been provided for our guidance in this behalf as well. The Quran calls upon us to be good and courteous in our behaviour towards our neighbour in the same way as it has commanded us to maintain the best of conduct towards our parents, brothers and sisters and towards our other near relatives: Neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers the companions by your side. (IV:36) Three categories of neighbours have been spoken of in this verse and it is expected of us to maintain cordial relations with all of them. The phrase neighbours who are near denotes neighbours who may also happen to be our relatives; neighbours who are strangers denotes those with whom we have no family ties, and companions by your side means persons with whom we come into contact temporarily in the course of our daily activities, like a casual acquaintance in antimate friend, a fellow traveller, a classmate and a colleague, whatever their religious denomination. Islam reminds us that we have an obligation to be friendly and sympathetic towards all the three categories of neighbours. says the holy prophet : "He who believes in God and Day of recompense will never harm his neighbour." "He is not a Muslim who eats his fill and lets his neighbour go hungry." Brothers, Such are the rights of neighbours in Islam. Alas, how heedless have we now grown to them ! Rights of the Weak and the Poor So far we have dealt with the rights of men with whom we have an intimate personal connetion of some kind, whether of family or neighbourhood or business or friendship. In addition to these, Islam has conferred certain special rights on the weaker and the poorer sections of the society and on every kind of a needy person. It has been made the duty of all well-to-do people to look after their well being and to serve them in whatever way they can. The more prosperous among Muslims should realise that their less fortunate brethren, too, have a share in their wealth and other capabilities. The Quran has enjoined at a number of places that the needs of the orphans, the weak and the indigent and other needy and destitute person should be taken care of, the hungry should be fed, the ill-clad should be clothed, and, so on. It is narrated that once the Prophet joined two of his fingers and showing them to the companions said, "He who supports an orphan shall be as close to me in Heaven as are these finger to each-other." He is also reported to have observed: "He who endeavours to relieve the widow, the depressed and the needy is as one who strives in the service of God, and, in Divine reward, he is as one who permanently fasts during the day and spends one's nights in prayers." "Feed the hungry, visit the sick and free the captives." "Help the distressed and be a guide to those who have lost their way." Rights of Muslims on Each Other Further, there is a special claim of Muslims on each other which flows out of the common bond of Islam. Said the Prophet: "Every muslim is a Muslims brother. He should neither harm him himself nor leave him alone (when someone else does so but try his best to help him and to protect him). Whoever among you will fulfil the need of his brother God will take it upon himself to fulfil his needs, and a muslim who will remove the distress of a muslim brother will, in return, find a distress of a muslim brother will, in return, find a distress of his removed by God on the day of requital, and anyone who will hide the shame of a muslim, his sins will be hidden by God on the Last Day." "Day not bear a grudge or enmity against each other do not be jealous of each other and do not indulge in backbiting. "Live like brother and the servants of one God. It is not allowed to a muslim to cease to be on talking terms with a muslim for more than three days." "The life, honour and property of a muslim are sacred for another." We will now close the present discussion on social relations and mutual rights and duties with the following Tradition which alone is enough to fill our hearts with fear. Brothers, Ponder over this Tradition and think how utterly ruinous and disastrous it is for us to encroach upon the right of others and to indulge in back biting, slander or abuse. If you have transgressed against anyone or usurped his rights, make amends for it in your lifetime, pay back to him what may be his due or seek his forgiveness, and resolve sincerely to be careful in future otherwise it is going to cost you very dear in the life to come. Dealings in islam The Quran as well as the Traditions of the Prophet are emphatic that a true Muslim is he who is honest and upright in his business and monetary transactions, keeps his word and fulfills his promises, shuns fraud and avoids deceit and perfidy, encroaches not upon the rights of others nor takes part in wrongful litigation, does not give false evidence, and abstains from making dishonest money as from usury and graft. Whoever is not free from these vices is, according to the Quran and the Traditions, not a true believer but a renegade and a worthless transgressor. We now proceed to examine some of the relevant Quranic verses and Traditions. A short verse of the Quran says: O ye who believe ! eat not up each-other`s property by unfair and dishonest means. (IV:29) The verse forbids muslims against all unclean and corrupt means of making money, Such as, dishonest trading, embezzlement, gambling speculation and bribery. Then there are verses in which these hateful practices are dealt with one by one. For instance, a severe warning is given in the following verse to traders who cheat in weighment: Woe to those that deal in fraud,-those who, when they have to receive by measure from men, exact full measure, but when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than due. Do they not think that they will be called to account on a mighty day when (all) mankind will stand before the Lord of the Worlds. (LXXIII:1-6) In the same way, the under mentioned verse exhorts muslims to be very particular about their trusts and about other people's rights. God doth command you to render back your trusts to those to whom they are due. (IV:58) At two places in the Quran a chief distinguishing feature of Muslims is said to be that they are: Those who faithfully observe their trusts and their covenants. (XXIII:8) The Prophet used often to say in his sermons: "Remember, there is no faith in him who is not trustworthy; there is no place for him in religion who cares not for his pledged word or promise." Another Tradition says: "The signs of a hypocrite are three; when he speaks, he is false; when he promises, he fails; and when he is trusted, he pays false." Condemning those who cheat in business the sacred Prophet has said, "He who cheats is not of us. Deceitfulness and fraud are things that lead one to Hell." Qualities in islam "I have been sent down by God to teach moral virtues and to evolve them to highest perfection. Importance An idea of the supreme importance Islam attaches to the cultivation of good manners and noble moral qualities can be obtained from the under mentioned traditions of the Prophet: "The best of you are those who possess the best of manners." "On the day of recompense nearest to me will be one who displays in one's daily life the best of manners." "On the Day of Reckoning the most weighty item in the "Balance of Deeds will be good manners." Once a Companion asked the Prophet, "What is there that takes a Muslim to paradise? "The Prophet replied, "Fear of God and good manners." The Prophet, again, is reported to have said, "A Muslim with good manners and good moral disposition gets the same reward as he who fasts (permanently) during the day and spends his nights in prayer." The last Tradition tells that a believer who possesses good manners and carries out scrupulously the moral duties imposed on him by God but does not engage himself much in supererogatory fasts and prayers attains the degree of excellence of the man who stands up in prayer all night and fasts all day long. The Curse of Bad Manners We have been warned by the holy Prophet in an equally forceful manner against the curse of bad manners. He has said: "A man with bad manners and a bad moral conduct shall not enter paradise." "No sin is more detestable to God than bad manners." Some More Important Virtues Though in the Quran and the Traditions we are taught to cultivate all good and noble moral and social qualities and to avoid everything that is mean or wicked, here we will take up only such virtues as are more important and without which no one can hope to be a good muslim and a true believer. Truthfulness Truthfulness is a matter of such supreme consequence in Islam that in addition to speaking the truth always a muslim is exhorted also to keep company only with those that are truthful. The Quran states: "O ye who believe ! fear God and be only with those who are true (in word and deed). (IX:119) Says the Prophet: "He who wishes to love God and His apostle, or wishes God and his apostle to love him, must take care to speak nothing but the truth whenever he speaks." "Speak the truth even if you see your ruin or death in it for, surely, salvation and life lie alone in truth, and avoid falsehood even if it may hold out to you the promise of success and salvation for the end of falsehood is nothing but failure and frustration." Once the Prophet was asked, "What is the hallmark of the dwellers of paradise ?" The Prophet replied, "Truthfulness." Conversely, another Tradition reads: "To be a liar is one of the special signs of a hypocrite." It was asked of the Prophet whether a believer could be a coward. He said, "It is possible." It was asked whether a believer could be a miser. He said, "It is possible." Again, it was asked of him whether a believer could be a liar. He said, "No (The idea of the Prophet was that a believer in God could not develop the filthy habit of lying. Faith could never accommodate falsehood; they could not go together). Fulfilling Promises It is also a part of truthfulness that when a promise is made it should be fulfilled. The Quran and Traditions are very clear on the point. Our faith demands of us never to go back on our pledged word. States the Quran: And fulfill (every) engagement, for (every) engagement will be enquired into (on the Day of Reckoning). (XVII:4) To fulfill the contracts which ye have made. (11:22) And the Traditions say: "He who does not fulfill promises made by him has no share in the faith." "Not to fulfill one`s promises is a special sign of a hypocrite." Trustworthiness Closely allied to truthfulness is the quality of trustworthiness. It is an important branch of it. Islam has laid a special emphasis on it also. Here is what the Quran says: God doth command you to render back your Trusts to those to whom they are due. (IV:58) And the Traditions: "People ! In whom there is no trustworthiness, in him there is, so to speak, no faith." "Look not alone at anyone's Prayers and fasts to decide about his spiritual excellence (that is, do not be impressed by anyone's spirituality simply because you find him devout in his prayers and fasts). You should also see that he is truthful when he speaks, restores honestly what he has received in trust to whom it is due, and remains righteous in time of adversity and suffering." Justice Justice is an integral part of Islamic ethics. We must practise it in all spheres of life. The Quran states: God commands Justice and doing of good. (XVI:19) In Islam we are commanded to be just and fair not only towards our own people or co-religionists but also towards others even if they be the enemies of our life, property of faith. It is candidly stated in the Quran that: And let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety. (V:9) The above verse enjoins justice to those also, individuals as well as communities, who may be har-bouring ill-will against us. Otherwise, we are sure to incur the displeasure of God and become grievous sinners and criminals in His sight. To refer now to some of the Traditions: "The most beloved of men in the sight of God, on the Day of Resurrection, and the nearest to him, shall be the just leader; and the most hateful of men in the sight of God on the Day of Resurrection, and the farthest removed from Him, shall be the tyrannical ruler." The Prophet is reported to have enquired one day from the companions. "Do you know who will be the first to come under the shadow of Divine mercy on the day of requital?" The companions replied, "God and His apostle know best." The Prophet then said, "They will be those who accept a trust when it is offered to them and restore it willingly to the rightful claimant when they are asked to do so, and who judge in respect of others exactly as they would in respect of themselves." The pity is that we ourselves have forgotten the glorious teachings of Islam. If we can produce these qualities in us today and become truthful in word and deed, and honest in the matter of our trusts and promises, and just and fair in our dealings with others, the success of the world is bound to kiss our feet and we will attain a high place in the paradise too. Husband and Wife in islam The selection of a marriage partner is therefore generally (but not necessarily) made by the parents, especially in the case of girl. The young people concerned can express a preference, can state what they want in a prospective partner, and can take an active role in the ultimate selection but ordinarily they do not go out and try to find a spouse on their own. Islamic ally, either the boy's or the girl's family may initiate a proposal but in practice it is customarily the boy who does the asking. This is done either through contact between his parents, other relatives or close friends with the parents of the girl; without the consent and approval of her father or guardian, who gives her away, marriage cannot take place. Depending on the traditions of the particular society in which they live, the prospective partners may or may not see each other before marriage, although Islam does give them this right. However, if they do meet at any time prior to marriage, this is always to be in the presence of other people since Islam forbids a muslim man and woman who are not related to each other either by marriage or a mahrem relationship to be alone with one another. In Islam marriage is not a sacrament but rather a legal, binding contract between a man and a woman which establishes the licitness, permanence and responsibleness of their relationship, an acceptance of one another as spouses with a mutual commitment to live together according to the teachings of Islam both are to be mindful of their duty to God and their responsibilities to one another in all aspects of their interaction. "O mankind, be careful of your duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate, and from the two of them spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty to God in whom you claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs. Verily, God is watcher over you. "(4:1) As we have seen, Islam assigns the leadership of the family to men, for in general they have been endowed with somewhat greater physical and emotional strength and endurance than women. For this reason they have also been made responsible for supporting and maintaining women not only their wives and daughters but also female relatives who may be in need of help and support. "Men are responsible for women because God has given the one more than the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). Virtuous women are therefore obedient. guarded."(4:34) The wife is her husband`s companion and helpmate. who is, together with him, responsible for the affairs of the household, the physical and emotional well-being of its members, and the training of the children. She should obey her husband unless he asks her to disobey God in which case she must not obey him, and for his part he should be considerate and concerned for the proper management of her husband's possessions and property, for the guarding of his honor, dignity and respectability, and for reserving her sexuality exclusively for the man she has married. In Islam a woman, married or single, is seen as a person in her own right. not merely as an adjunct to her husband. Thus, for example, she has the full right of ownership and disposal of her own property and earning even after marriage, and when she marries she retains her own family name instead of taking that of her husband. The Western stereotype of the muslim woman as a mere household drudge, preoccupied from morning to night with cooking, cleaning and looking after the children, with no spirituality, interests, personality or life of her own, who is debarred from contributing in a con-structive manner to society, has no basis in the Islamic teachings. "For Islam regards men and women as completely equal in terms of accountability to God and in possessing unique personalities of their own. It prescribes for both the same religious obligations, apart from the concessions made for women's reproductive cycle, and makes conscious commitment to Islam, the doing of good, striving with all one's efforts in God's path, the development of spirituality and seeking knowledge equally the duty of both men and women, as the following Quranic verses indicate: "A nd their Lord answered them: Verily, I will not allow the work of any worker, male or female, to be lost. You proceed from one another."(3:195) "And whoever does good, whether male or female and he (or she) is a Believer, these will enter paradise and they will not be wronged by so much as the groove of a date stone. (4:124) "And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends to one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong, they observe regular salat and pay zakat, and they obey God and His Messenger. As for these, God will have mercy on them. Verily God is mighty, wise God promises the believers, men and women, Gardens underneath which rivers flow, to abide therein blessed dwellings in Garden of eden. and greater (than that), God's good pleasure: that is the supreme success."(9:71-72) At the same time, Islam recognizes that women have a more delicate, sensitive and emotional nature than men and men are asked to treat them in accordance with this nature. There are many beautiful Hadiths of the Prophet (peace be on him) which enjoin kindness and consideration for women and advise muslims to treat their wives with respect, honor and that quality of tenderness which suits the delicacy of their feminine nature; the best men. he said are those who are best to their wives. Because the natures of the male and female are not the same. each has been entrusted with a particular role and function in society; these roles are complementary and each is equally basic and essential to the functioning of the society. Within this framework there is freedom for both men and women to pursue what is important to them and interests, provided their responsibilities for the home are not neglected and their work does not in any way jeopardize their dignity and modesty, Women must fill many essential positions in society which they can handle better or instead of men, for example, some branches of medicine, nursing, education, social work and other areas. In the Prophet's time we find women enduring persecution, exile and even martyrdom for the sake of their faith at the hands of the pagans together with men, and during battle carrying water to the wounded, tending the injured and on occasion participating in the fighting as well. We find them discussing and even disputing various matters with the Prophet himself, and on another occasion a woman standing up in the mosque to correct the caliph "Umar on a legal point. we find Aisha, the Prophet's widow, in later life an expert in Islamic jurisprudence, consulted by many eminent muslims, while her sister 'Asma, as a young girl and again as an old woman of ninety, did great deeds of courage and heroism. Concerning the marriage relationship God says: "And among His signs is that He created mates from among your selves that you may live in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts."(30:21) "It is He who created you from a single soul, and from it created its mate that he might take rest in her...."(7:189) The tone of marriage in Islam is thus one of mutual respect, kindness, love, companionship and harmonious interaction. In her husband, the wife has a friend and partner to share her life and concerns, to cherish and protect her, and to help her bear responsibilities which would be very difficult or impossible for her to handle alone, while a man has in his wife a companion and helper who can give him peace, comfort and repose in his struggle with the rough and tumble of the world's life. In the beautiful language of the Qur`an, "They (wives) are your garments and you (husbands) are their garments." (2:187) serving for one another the same function as a cherished piece of clothing; to be a corn fort, a protection, a security, that which serves and beautifies and warms and enfolds and covers and conceals what is private from the eyes of the world. Although for the sake of convenience women generally do the domestic work of the house, this is not required of them by Islam. A husband should help his wife with the household work following the example of the Prophet (peace be on him), who used to assist his wives mend his own clothes and participate in manual work. And while the mother is generally the primary means of training the children, Islam neither expects nor wants her to carry out this extremely important task alone. It is the joint responsibility of husband and wife to bring up their children property, and although the greater part of the daily work with the children generally falls to the share of the wife, the husband is the principal authority figure in the home who is responsible not only for the welfare but also for the behavior of all members of the family. Together husband and wife must provide an Islamic atmosphere in their home and a consistent approach to training in which they reinforce and support one another. The marriage relationship also involves another fundamental responsibility; the responsibility of both husband and wife to meet one anther's sexual needs and at the same time not to seek elsewhere for the satisfaction of these needs. While marriage in Islam legitimizes the fulfillment of an otherwise prohibited desire, it also requires that husband and wife reserve their sexuality exclusively for each other. There is to be no "playing around" in a Muslim marriage: adultery is, as we have seen, not only one of the most serious sins but also, in Islamic law, a heinous crime. Moreover, the protection of women from anything which dishonors. degrades or in any way exploits their sexuality is considered extremely essential. Islam therefore lays down certain limits for both men and women so that sexual attraction and expression will be confined solely to the private relationship of husband and wife and hence will not become a source of harm or disruption in the society. This topic will be discussed further under the heading of "Relations Between the sexes." Marriages among Muslims are, by and large, remarkably stable, especially in contrast to marriage in must of the western world today. This is due to a number of factors. The first of these is that, unlike the Western marriage, in which premarital love and intimacy are considered indispensable, the basic ingredient of the muslim marriage is a common set of values. principles and ways of living. Consequently a muslim husband and wife, even if they come from different cultures and backgrounds possess the same basic world view, frame of reference, and many similar attitudes and habits which serve to bind them together in a harmonious relationship. Second even with all the problems and pressures existing today in muslim societies marital and family stability is encouraged and reinforced by various societal institutions. This is in marked contrast to many parts of the Western world in which the breakdown of marriages is assisted one could even say made inevitable by innumerable societal pressures which not only weaken the commitment of the partners to each other but also weaken the capacity of individuals to maintain a stable and permanent relationship with another human being. Third muslims are as a rule used to living with other people and are consequently skilled in adjusting themselves to various relationship: for this reason they tend in general to be somewhat tolerant and forbearing in their interaction with others, even when these are differences or friction's of one sort or another. Another reason may be that muslim men and women are generally quite accepting of their masculine and feminine roles. Consequently, because the division of roles and responsibilities between husband and wife is as a rule clearly defined and acknowledged, many problems and friction's are avoided. Again muslims are generally surrounded by a network of many relationships with relatives and friends. This gives each partner his or her own life apart from the spouse, with many other satisfying relationships, emotional outlets and sources of support. Hence neither husband nor wife is forced to depend on a single relationship for all their emotional satisfaction outlets and sources of support. Hence neither husband nor wife is forced to depend on a single relationship for all their emotional satisfactions, thus putting an almost insupportable burden on one's partner and untenable strains on the marriage. for the variety of rewarding interactions with others makes life tolerable even if there are friction's between the partners. In summary, to the muslim marriage is not seen as a Hollywood style romance but as a flesh and blood relationship between two very human individuals. In such a relationship strains and problems some times do arise. When they do, they are dealt with within the marriage relationship. assisted by the cushioning effect of the society. rather than by breaking up the marriage and the family unit, which is in the long run more difficult and damaging than accommodation and showing tolerance and patience, except in extreme cases, in which divorce is not only desirable but essential. Because of all these built in safeguards. therefor. marriage among muslims is basically a stable and viable institution. 707 |
| geocities.com/dawatislam/urdu.htm |