Songs and Lyrics
Yesterday
There's nothing left to say, we threw it all away
Nothing left but time, return to yesterday
The day that we were born and smiling faces worn
We cut our teeth with lies, our destinies to fade
The clouds are grown to swell, and mixed in with the rain
of self defeated hearts, an offering in pain
The sadness of the words, the life that leads the way
It smiled a million nights but dreamed another day
Never is a long time...
You could never be even half of what you asked of me
and I can see this resentment around your head
You pulled those haloes from the sky, they hang on every word I said
You will never see even half of what is to become of me
We agreed and separated on a winter breeze
and now this light is springing forth and we are on our hands and knees
Daylight coming, leaving all these nighttime promises behind
Shadows disappearing, there's no more light to decorate the separated lines
Hazy images and tainted photographs remind me what I'll see when I close my eyes
Etched in voices, they carry messages that one can only feel so deep inside
I will never be even half of anything that you had planned for me
and it's a mystery to me how anything so elementary
how something as simple as my word could loan itself to misery
And we could never be even half the broken dreams we had started out to be
and someday you'll agree when you can look back with honesty
When you see things for what they were and not just what you'd hoped they'd be
Feeling of Loss
With your eyes cast down at the carpet
and your sweater is your only companion
Pull it up tighter around yourself
Maybe you won't feel so alone
Now your nighttimes last much longer
despite wishes that you could be stronger
With your head in your hands you just don't understand
how everything turned out so wrong
Open eyes just to avert them, find new loves just to avert them
and fill your days with unending tasks to avoid any feelings of loss
Use words just to hear them
and convince yourself that you believe them
When your day goes gray and your bed is still made
wrap yourself up in the past
Now your smiles these days seem much harder
and you ask yourself why do I bother?
Who are you doing this for, and more importantly
How does it make you feel?
Do you feel alive again? Can you hold your head high again?
Without somebody pulling your strings, without losing even more
of yourself
The Second Summer
Staring at the skyline as I note my time is leaving me behind
and I can hear this ringing in my ears, it's crystal clear
The grayness of the dawn, it pushes me along but I drag my feet
and I ask why, why can't I fly? If I spread my arms and thus my wings...
Staring at the twilight and my arms are crossed to recreate that night
It's so cold here, this autumn breeze, if I could hear those words I'd be on my knees
and I can tell you, just you and me, that every screaming night lives in history
and I can see it going day by day, with your impression lost the image slips away
If you could see up through these trees, I'm silhouetted up against the clouds
and I could say take your sadness and throw it all away and I'll come back down
Whispers of the sunrise and the time has come to close our eyes
Shut out the darkness surrounding me, if I could hear your voice you'd be all I see
and I remember just what it means to shrug this rainfall off, but to set you free
I can feel it, this wind tears away every word I thought but forgot to say
The Lifeboat (has sunk)
These arms holding upright days but casting out the nights
Footprints leave reminders (it fell from the sky) of where I used to be (it blocked out the sun)
Coming back tomorrow from where I was today
Grass is growing under footsteps (the two you and I) pushing toes to lead the way (you cut off the one)
I could never climb down from this treeline love song hurting me
finding reasons (the light from the sea) to step on over the possibilities (the life is the blood)
(It gave us direction, it mapped out the way) It fell from the sky it came again
I never found my way, I never fell again
The two you and I (up over the doldrums) you cut off the one (the most life threatening way)
The light from the sea, the life is the blood, the lifeboat has sunk
If you leave me here tomorrow I won't ask for this explained
and I don't want your name, falling backwards fall through window panes
I won't ask you for this tomorrow, I don't want your name
and I will never fall down from my window pane
All I know
All I know is that I want you
and all I know is that the sky is grey
the trees bend over, touch the ground where I stand
and all I know is that you're gone
The rain fell westward into my eyes
600 miles to reach the sky
those whispered nothings in my ears
and contents of letters have long since disappeared
I'll find the reason for everything
I'll find the reason for it all
In which direction should I fall when I fall?
and yet I'll find my place in time
A Lifeless song
This something I could not control helped throw away my life, just know that I would end it all to bring back just one night
That I would roll back every promise to hear your smiling voice, and close my eyes to swallow tears for every second lost
When the utter possibility of everything is lost and I'm wandering through these broken headstones just to carry on
The darkest nights now do not compare to the mornings since you're gone, I make my way through lifeless days, that's why I sing this song
I can hear it carry on my voice, I can hear the laughter of the girls and the boys
I remember everything they know, but even so I could not prevent this
My feet have touched this bedroom floor an empty bed behind, I swear I smelled you in the hall this morning or was it in my mind?
I've come to terms now the tide has turned but still it isn't through, resenting every face I see because it isn't you
Now I will never try again to end this mode of suffering, I will look myself dead in the eyes in the mirror in the morning
Remind myself that the state I'm in is not one of my own making, and clench my hands in familiar fists to prevent them from the shaking
I will delve into the past and take back everything I'll need, rubbing my hands into swollen eyes drying tears from another lonely evening
I will prepare myself for any future catastrophes, but I could never prevent the mistakes that I've already made so long ago...
Telling Untold Stories
My pockets now are growing holes where your fingers always used to go
Those weekend afternoons, we had no money and we had no place else to go
Under sunshine or rainclouds, whether whispering or laughing out loud
Your eyes were bright and shining, your eyes were always open to the world
but they're closed to me now
This conversation's growing old, the stories that are still untold
Those darkened, shared and silent moments, you made me promise not to tell a soul
So where will my hands go without another hand to hold?
My nights these days are spent alone, but at least they're spent with someone I know
You took the best of me rearranged into some fantasy
and if I never fall asleep again you will never steal my dreams
You took the best of me rearranged into some fantasy
and if I never hear your voice again I can fall back on my memories
The end of the cold spell...
The summertime signifies the end of the cold spell
and it brings me those green and lavender scenes
There are no more cold nights spent alone remembering the cold fights we called our own
But I can see everything is now as it has to be
and our flowers are blooming on brighter days
If you look right outside your window you just might catch me walking by
trying to convince myself that what I did was right...
But I can see much more clearly now without those hands pressed so tightly against my eyes
why it took me so long I'll never know
but I found out that your smile was a disguise...
I can see much more clearly now without the threat of some disaster inside my mind
why we stretched it out so long I'll never know
but it feels as though the best part of me has been left behind...
