At the end of my senior year in highschool, Becca Moore
invited me to her prom in Warrenton, which I'd never visited
before, and which is about an hour away from where I live.
I grabbed the corsage and the directions I'd printed off
mapquest, and didn't worry too much about finding my way. But
thanks to some confusing traffic patterns and their equally 
confusing signs, I ended up driving in circles in Warrenton
for a half hour and eventually decided to stop and ask directions
at the Safeway shopping center, and the song tells the rest.
Neither of Becca's parents work for the FBI, but her dad is a cop.
This actually worked to my benefit, since he had a "Slim-jim",
the device they use for getting into locked cars, and he was
surprisingly forgiving through the whole ordeal. And I actually
did call my mom COLLECT, but the chain of people through which
she had to go wasn't quite as long as the song indicates; she called
a lady in the ward who was Becca's friend's aunt, and that's how
she was able to connect, and get them to come rescue me. The rest
of the night was a lot of fun, without any further incident. She
told me that I would laugh about it years later, and since I have,
I've tried to make you laugh about it too.