Some More Life History

 

Here are some more facts about me, as directly quoted from the Internet, a most reliable source of information and wisdom.

 

Dave McClelland (Goalie)

 

Goalie

 

 

Selected by Vancouver Canucks round 6 #83 overall 1972 NHL Amateur Draft

 

RS Scoring

RS Goalie Stats

PO Scoring

Season

Team

Lge

GP

G

A

PIM

Min

GA

EN

SO

GAA

W

L

T

Svs

Pct

GP

G

A

PIM

1968-69

Canadian National Team

Intl

0

0

0

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1972-73

Seattle Totems

WHL

6

0

0

0

133

7

0

0

3.15

0

0

0

55

0.887

-

-

-

-

1972-73

Vancouver Canucks

NHL

2

0

0

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

-

-

-

1972-73

Des-Moines Capitols

IHL

2

0

0

0

84

13

0

0

9.28

0

0

0

0

0.000

-

-

-

-

1973-74

Des-Moines Capitols

IHL

55

0

2

8

3071

146

1

1

2.85

0

0

0

0

0.000

9

0

0

0

1974-75

Des-Moines Capitols

IHL

32

0

0

8

1705

94

3

1

3.31

0

0

0

0

0.000

2

0

0

0

Okay, so 1972-73 was a rough year, but cut me some slack, I was playing for three teams!

 

David McClelland moved to Canada when he was 29. He is most often seen on stage and has appeared at the Live Bait Theatre, the Neptune Theatre, Atlantic Fringe Fest, and the Centaur Theatre.

 

I don’t remember this period of my life at all. It must be true what they say, that Canada is like an alcohol binge; you go there to escape your problems, and the next thing you know, you wake up fifty pounds heavier, and speaking French. (The French, I’m not sure about—I’ve never actually tried alcohol.)

 

 

David McClelland pioneered workplace motivational thinking, developing achievement-based motivational theory and models, and promoted improvements in employee assessment methods, advocating competency-based assessments and tests, arguing them to be better than traditional IQ and personality-based tests.

 

And yet I can barely find the “motivation” to get out of bed in the morning. Do as I say, not as I do, right?

 

 

One of the most recognized voices in drag racing belongs to Dave McClelland, most commonly known as “The voice of NHRA”, who for over 40 years has been one of the premier race announcers at the track, on radio and on TV. However, Dave is not just an announcer, he is also an enthusiast.

 

I woke up in a cold sweat, wondering what I was doing with my life. All I could hear was the deafening echo of my own voice from a loudspeaker, crying, “start yer’ ‘enjuns, now, ya hear?” and I felt I was suffocating in a cloud of vaporized rubber and engine exhaust. My alarm clock was playing Alan Jackson, whose bemoaning strains of lost love seemed to jab at my ears like a rusty pitchfork. So I picked up a monkey wrench next to my bed and put an end to that. I stumbled into the bathroom, where I frantically shaved off my mullet, which filled the toilet like so much waste—the excrement of what I consumed in so many long years of rodeos, line-dances, and barn-raisings. I put on my best shirt and tie and leather vest, then decided to burn the vest (after taking it off) and marched into the office of the NHRA commissioner, who, I told, would have to find another lackey to shout clever turns of phrase to all the groveling, smelly masses. Then he grinned a beaming, toothless grin, and in such a grandfatherly way, outstretched his arms and pleaded “Dave, there’s no need to get in a tussle. You were never an announcer. This is all just a silly dream.” He then pinched me on the cheek and suddenly I woke up in a cold sweat, wondering what I was doing with my life…

 

 

David McClelland presently pastors the Grace Free-Presbyterian Church in Litchfield, New Hampshire. He is married and has three children. After completing his formal education in Northern Ireland and Toronto, Canada under the Free Presbyterian Church, he ministered for one year in Vancouver in an inner city outreach project. In May 2001, after feeling the call of God, he commenced his ministry in New Hampshire. He desires a ministry in Litchfield, that will be to the praise of the glory of His grace.

 

Imagine my surprise when I read this last one! As soon as I got my wits back, I immediately called up the Grace Free-Presbyterian Church and asked them if their church was really grace-free <chuckle> then I cleared up the whole name issue, explaining that I was not the David McClelland that had petitioned to start another congregation in New Hampshire, that I was a Latter-day Saint, and that I didn’t even like New Hampshire that much. “It’s just so cold up there,” I explained. They agreed that it was cold, and thanked me for my concern over the name mix-up, and promised to fix it by changing the Pastor’s legal name to Lucious Malone. “Boy will he be surprised,” they said with a chuckle.

 

 

 

Mid-Atlantic Scottish Athletics Games

Bridgeport Records

Event

Athlete

Distance

Year

16.25# Open Stone

David McClelland

38'6.5"

2003

56# Weight for Distance

David McClelland

32'10"

2003

28# Weight for Distance

David McClelland

67'8"

2003

22# Hammer

David McClelland

84'9"

2003

Caber Toss

na

na

na

16# Sheaf Toss

David McClelland

30'

2003

56# Weight Over Bar

David McClelland

14'6"

 

And if we’d had the caber toss, I would’ve dominated that, too.

 

 

 

Here’s a survey I filled out once.

 

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?   in the spot where your house is, so that when you walk in the door, you'll be like "Dave, what are you doing here?" and I'll be like "boy have I got a story for you!”

 

2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?  yellow rubber gloves

 

3. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?    clean toe nails.  oh, and no facial hair (I shave, why shouldn’t they?)

 

4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT?    well, it's not really a CD, and I didn't really buy it, but "See Me Run (Activity Tapes for Hyper Children)" This, I am not joking about. I will gladly play it for you, you spastic child

 

5. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?  in the New York Subway, by a COMPLETE stranger

 

6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?  in the crawl space where they put me when I talk too much

 

7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?     in the New York subway, by a COMPLETE stranger

 

8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?  Strong in Mind, cuz even if you beat me up, I'll be able to convince you that I won

 

9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?  gradually, between 6AM and 1PM

 

10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?   the CANhandler (it's a pun!!!!)

 

11.  WHAT PROFESSION ARE YOU LEAST LIKELY TO PURSUE?   dentistry. But if I was a dentist, my practice would definitely be called TrancenDental.  And I’ll probably never own a bike shop, but if I did, it would be Vicious Cycling.

 

12. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  the bagpipes, since I'm half scottish, and it's in my blood, darn it.

 

13. FAVORITE COLOR?   the nameless color on Mark's face before letting out his breath at the end of the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel

 

14. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?    to be honest, I don't think my Toyota Tercel fits into either category so I'm gonna have to say neither

 

15. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE (la vie de la vie après la mort)?   sure, it's something to look forward to after final exams

 

16. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?   "Suzy Talked so Much, Her Parents Stopped Loving Her"

 

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?   oregano!

 

18. WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE?   feeding Fluffy with the CANhandler (it is no longer my favorite appliance)

 

19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?   being able to juggle at all

 

20. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?    Tu-tu? you know I dropped ballet years ago...

 

21. CAN YOU JUGGLE?  (See #19)

 

22. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?   Peewee Herman. You know, before he went to prison

 

23. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?   it must've been the first day of my life, cuz it only got worse from there

 

24. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?   a spare tire and a few spare passengers <--(they come in handy with the carpool lanes)

 

25. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?  well, they came out with this new Sushi-burger and it was good but apparently it wasn't cooked at all so I got food poisoning, so nevermind, I go for the burger

 

 

THE END

 

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