"Give a man a woman, and he’ll be happy for a day;

Teach a man how to get women, and he’ll be confused for a lifetime."

"Learning guitar gets you more girls; learning piano gets you more callings."

-Bishop Snyder

"It’s comforting to know that every stupid thing I say to a girl is one less stupid thing I’ll say to my future wife. Unless she’s that girl I just met."

"Here at BYU, with all these attractive women around, I feel like a kid in a candy store…… no wait, a diabetic in a candy store."

"Listen honey—if you give a man enough rope, he’ll skip"

-Beach towel

Bryan: "Well, I’m sure I’ll have a girlfriend sometime—I just have to play my cards right."

Me: "Yeah. I need to get some cards."

“Your eyes are blue

And so am I when I’m not with you”

"If love were a tree, I would chop it down, make a frame, and put your picture in it."

-Alan Chambers

"Leaves are brown,

The ground is down,

And so am I

When you’re not around"

"The basic impulse to propagate our race has propagated a lot of other things as well"

- HEPE Professor

"Boy, just remember that dating is like Driver’s Ed, cuz you can gas it as much as you want, but she can always put on the brakes, and there’s always two guys in the backseat waiting for their turn."

“When my uncle got his wooden leg, he had to give away his pet beaver.”

"I’m sure that the last girl I went on a date with will excel at many things in life. She would do well as a plastic surgeon, because whenever I’m around her, I feel a hundred pounds lighter. But even more, she would make a great magician, because when I first met her, she made every other girl in the room disappear."

7/18/2005

  “When I prayed for humility, I should’ve been more specific.”

Me: “Man, I hate sorting laundry when I have a cold—the smell test doesn’t work.”

Adam: “Oh, that just means they’re all clean.”

“Sometimes I feel like every girl I go out with is a crash test dummie.  After the date, I examine the wreckage to see what can be improved so that someday my vehicle is safe enough to carry an eternal companion, maybe after about twenty more tests. People may ask if I mourn for my crash test dummies, and I usually tell them, ‘just the last one.’”

  Steve: “We should put all the thank-you notes from girls up on our wall.”

  Jim: “Yeah, we’ll call it “The Wall of Worldly Recognition.”  Because worldly recognition is one of the best things of this world.”

 “When you read my dating tips, it’s kind of like the blind leading the blind…except that I’ve already discovered where some of the ditches are…”

 “One’s maturity may be known to few, while another’s immaturity will be known to not a few.”