Today is the 1st day of 2003. My PC time shows that it's five past twelve... Actually i wanted to see the first second of Jan 01, 2003 but i was so intense with my computer because i was updating my web site besides surfing other personal web site through search engine. Accidentally, i found a very cute web site built by a cute girl named Josephine. Her web site is simple, but if you have chance to see it, you must give her a compliment for that. I also looked for the midi titled Winter Sonata.. but luck was not with me as i didn't find it. Few months ago, i heard from friend that Winter Sonata was one of the greatest drama filmed in Korea. I didn't know if it was true or not because i've never watched that drama before. But i believed the information because many people talked about it everyday.

        While my fingers working at my PC, i tried to recall the things i used to do a year ago. This remind me the times when i was still at University. Yea.. a year ago i was a University Malaysia Sabah student. I still putted on my matrix card every time i went to campus and when i went to KK city, i putted it in my bag or pocket. What a beautiful day on that time... When i back to my hometown to complete my study by undergoing two months industrial training at Social Security Organization (SOCSO) Sandakan, as if i was entering to a new world that was not part of my life. The first day i came at the office, i looked myself as an alien. Fortunately i got courage and determine to do my best, i greeted all stuffs there.. they were all friendly.. That was why only in three or four days i managed to acquaint myself in my new environment. Furthermore i had two ex-classmates from SMK Sandakan who worked there as an Executive Officer. I supposed that they are lucky to have that job. I wish one day or if my luck will be with me two or three months from now, i also will hold the position like theirs or hopefully better.

        After completed my final task before i eligible for being conferred a degree i was offered a job, the job was not require me to have a degree but i had to accept the offer as i knew it was time to get some experience. It was my first time because i've never worked before even as a part time worker. I was so happy on that time and supposed that i was the luckiest man in the world. Unfortunately it just a temporary job, i would hold the position only for six months.. but at least the job kept me busy and i was saving up..  

        Now i have been a months unemployed. I have sent three or four applications for job and so far i got two calls for the interview. The first vacancy was Marketing Executive and the second one was Management Trainee.. I don't know what job it would be.. Today (1st Jan 2003), i should have arrived In Kota Kinabalu because tomorrow i have an interview.. But...does it mean i have to leave my family once again? Especially for my youngest brother... no, i am rather looking for the other alternative than leave him... except i have no other choice... I admit that this over-yearning towards my family when i leave them is the main barrier of my success... I don't know what is going to happen if i can't "defeat" this odd feeling. The only i can do is pray and always pray to the Lord may He will give me guidance so as i can choose the right way in my attempt in finding better life in this mortal world.   

        ....I looked at my PC time again.. i didn't realize that half an hour have passed but my works are not finished yet.. too many tasks have to be accomplished. Then i stop for a moment, i opened my photos file which i scanned using my cousin's scanner two weeks ago. I looked the pictures one by one.. my sight became dim.. two drops of my tears fell down from my eyes.. i wiped out my tears with my blanket as my tissue has finished more than a month ago but always forgot to buy the new one. ....Amongst pictures in my file folder is belonged to my mom. She made me so sad.. She left us more than two years ago.. She has done her uttermost in helping me with hope i would achieve my ambition and dreams, i intend to repay her kindness, her motherly advices and affection to me.. but time is so ticking .. All through her life she never murmured in everything she's done as long as we were all happy. I still remember she was always waiting for me at the door every time i back to our home in Sg. Manila... In the time my mom critical condition and about to lose her life, only my youngest brother was with her. He certainly shocked at seeing our mom lying unconscious on the floor.. He ever said.. "Ma, if you die i shall call my eldest brother first"... and what has been uttered by him was really happened.. he called me first.. I was on my way back to my home town on that time.. Every time i remembered that sad memory, i felt so pity to him. That's why i love him so much now and i always do many efforts to make him happy. I promised to myself to take care of him as i take care of myself.          

        Now i'm still sitting on my chair in front of my computer.. I am pondering what will happen next.. Is it true that Christ will come soon? I look at my fan, no change.. i look at my mirror, no change.. i look all things in my room.. still not find any changes.. So what differs 2002 and 2003? Nothing different, only time.. Regardless we can find the true answer or not, hopefully this new year will enhance my wisdom and forbearance as well as diligence. Most importantly, i want give all my heart and soul to Christ..may He will give me pure faith to Him to fight any kind of Satanic influences wherever i'll go. To those of you who visited this page, all the best for you and wishing you a very Happy New Year 2003.. May this year will bring us greatest joy and happiness.. Say Goodbye.. to 2002, say hello..to 2003...