Begin lemon Mst sequence
========================
---Version 83---
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The evil duo was working
hard, looking for the perfect lemon to destroy our heroes. Nastina tripped and
reached down through the mud pulling up a laminated sheet of paper.
Nastina: Hey, I found one!
Jynx: What did ya find?
Nastina: An evil lemon
Jynx: Wow! Can I see?
Nastina: No, I'll spare you
this one
Jynx(Moans): Ohh
Nastina: Trust me, if this
one doesn't break them, nothing will
Jynx: Shall I get a group
of our prisoners to join them?
Nastina: Yes, I have the
perfect group in mind...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Disclaimer (Finally!)
Mike and Tom are property
of Pokeduck inc. The space station is property of me and if Tom or Mike scratch
it there will be hell to pay.
The original lemon is
property of Sky Render.
Mystery Science Theater is
owned by Best Brains.
Pokemon are property of
Nintendo
We look in on a large, egg
shaped, space station with a giant leek insignia on the front. It had been
three months sense Mike and Tom had been docked by "the evil one" and
had been force fed bad lemons for the
last three months. I have
been trying to board my ship without being detected, but have not yet been able
to save my crew from bad writing.
Turning to camera 3.14 we
see Mike and Tom playing Perfect Dark in the holo-deck. Mike was wearing a bad
suit and was carrying a Mauler. Tom was in an alien costume holding an RCP-120, reloading his
ammo clip.
Tom: Give it up Carrington!
(Charged shot flies past his head)
Mike: Never, Elvis!
Tom (pulls out an N-bomb):
Eat this, fat boy!
The N-bomb flies through
the air when, all of a sudden, it explodes in mid flight. Nerve gas flies
everywhere, sending Tom into a coughing fit. The screen fades to red and they
are back in the game room.
Mike: Ha! I knew I liked
that gun.
Tom: Next time I'll win.
Mike: In your dreams
Tom: No, my dreams involve
Joanna and a couple of marshmallows. (gets a mental picture) Oh yea.
Mike: Do you want to be
left alone with your game?
(Just then, a siren went
off and the bad lemon sign came down) They ran to the screen and was greeted by
the ugly mugs of Nastina and Jynx.
Tom: Well, that ruined my
"special time"
Mike: Oh, mighty
Pain-in-our-ass, how can we help you?
Nastina: I have the perfect
lemon to break your spirits. Or kill you, I don't care which.
Tom: Bring your worst.
Nastina: You won't be
saying that long, I'm sending over three other pest to join in your torment
Mike: So who are the lucky
prisoners?
Nastina: I just teleported
them to air lock 2, I'll let you be surprised.
Mike hit a button and the
screen went blank. The two took a short walk to the air locks, wondering who
was going to have to suffer along side them. The hatch opened and there was a
girl with pink hair, and a boy with blue hair
Jessie: Prepare for trouble
James: And make it double
Tom: Time out! Why are you
two here?
James: Our boss paid
Nastina to send us here
Mike: Makes sense, I guess
you screwed up too much.
Vulpix: Vul!
Tom (slaps a universal
translator on Vulpix.): Here you go, nice and tight. Just how I like it.
Vulpix (eyes glowing red):
Try it and I'll burn your balls off.
Mike: Ouch, that would hurt
James: Talk about your hot
blow job
Tom: Lets go upstairs and
get the lemon over with.
--Countdown-
6
-A big metal door opens and
chads fly everywhere
5
-They tear through a giant
playboy centerfold with Paula Jones
4
-A red door opens and a
giant ball of ice comes flying towards them.
Vulpix blasts it and they
continue
3
-They look in on a lemon
with a female Diglett and a male Onix, they run
faster
2
-They go through a beaded
door and see a Snorlax lighting one up with
Jigglypuff
1
-The last door is blue with
no handle, James flashes his titties and the
door opened
----- ----- ------ ------
Mike: James, N-E-V-E-R do
that again
James: Sorry, I couldn't
resist
Jessie: That's where my bra
went!
Tom: Anywho...
Vulpix: This should be
interesting, a lemon without me in it
Mike: Don't be too sure
>Author: Sky Render
Tom: Who?
Mike: I don't know
>Type: lemon - evil
Vulpix: Evil?
Tom: That means blood and
such, eww...
>Action: Mutant
Pikachu-Misty, NC
Jessie: Yes! One of the
little brats gets it.
James: But blood makes me
nauseous.
Jessie: Shut up. Damn
pussy.
>Description: A scientist
tries to make Pikachu stronger, but the effort doesn't go as planned as Pikachu
>mutates into Mutachu,
Mike: Mutt-achu?
Vulpix: No, that's what you
get if you cross a Pikachu and Growlithe
>and goes on a violent
rampage. Inspired by the pic 'gorypika.jpg'
Tom (Looks at picture):
Barf!
>Here's my blood-soaked
lemon-thingy, Wrath of the Mutant Pikachu.
If you lack the "stomach" for a >bloody lemon, then don't
read it.
James: See ya!
Mike: Nope, if we have to
suffer so do you.
>* The Lemon Disclaimer
(patent pending in 12 countries) *
Tom: Wouldn't that be
copyright?
>If you're not of legal age to read this in
your country, state, city, or even planet, then you should probably >not
read it.
Vulpix: I don't think
Pokemon have a legal age
James: Just make one up and
leave
Mike: Don't listen to him,
we can't avoid a lemon on this ship.
> If you do, don't blame
me for the inevitable damage it will do to your mind, nor any secondary damage
to >limbs, life, family members, friends, etc. If you can't stand up to that, do not
continue.
James: Ahhhhh!
-Smack!-
Jessie: Shut up, pansy-boy
>And now, the
lemony-fresh and blood-soaked...
Mike: Mister clean gets rid
of dirt and....
>Wrath of the Mutant
Pikachu!
>It will scare you! It will terrify you! IT WILL REND YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!!
> Okay, enough B-movie
ads, let's get to the story.
>PART I: The Experiment
Vulpix: Try new experiment
gum today!
Tom: It will change you...
>"Eureka!" the
scientist yelled out, looking at the Pikachu who had just been successfully
injected with >Sandslash cells.
James: And boy was that
Sandslash tired!
Mike: High five James!
>"Now," he
said to himself, "we can have an electric Pokemon who is immune to its
main weakness!"
Tom: Not that I'm an expert
at this, but I don't think injecting cells into a Pokemon would do that.
Mike: Always with the
details!
>He turned off the
equipment in the room, and headed for the break room, a smile on his face.
Jessie: Jerking off that Sandshrew
must have taken a lot out him
>The Pikachu, who had been very intelligent
to begin with,
Jessie: Ha, Pikachu are
stupid!
>was now also very
powerful. It began to grow, and within
less than three minutes, it was almost four >times its natural size. It tapped the glass with its newly grown
super-claws, and then proceeded to break
>it into a million
shards.
Vulpix: maybe he should
have spent less time counting glass and more time making the story good.
>Climbing through the
cracked remains of the viewing tank window, the mutated Pikachu considered what
>it would do next, now that it was free.
James (as mutachu): I'm
going to Disney land!
>It remembered a certain
person from the past, who had cared for it at one time. She had been a nice girl, >and had always
cared about him when his often-cruel master had not. He had to find her.
Mike: And get some pu-say!
Tom and James: Hell yea!
Vulpix: Calm down boys,
remember it is a bloody lemon
Mike: You had to remind us,
ugh
> Decided, he headed for
the door. Coincidentally,
Tom: Coincidence...
Mike: ...I think not
>the scientist was
returning from the break room, and nearly fainted as, only half a foot from the
door, he >saw a giant yellow claw-hand break the door into splinters. He stood there, gaping in amazement, as the
>mutant Pikachu stepped out, enormous.
Tom: Not to be picky but
being four times the normal size of a Pikachu would only be 6 feet tall
> It lumbered towards
the opposite direction,
Vulpix: Damn deforestation,
down with logging!
>a strange look in its
eyes.
James: When you get that
look in your eyes...
>The scientist stood for
a few seconds longer, then fell flat on the ground, unconscious.
Mike: Did it take that long
for him to realize there was a killer Pikachu in his face?
Tom: Maybe he was doing the
Sandslash in the side and he was out of it
>PART II: The Encounter
Jessie (humming the
twilight zone tune): The truth is out there!
>Mutachu (the mutant Pikachu's decided
name) stopped again, and sniffed
the air. "Muta..." it said to >itself in
its now-deep voice,
Tom (as mutachu): Must get
pussy!
>and continued to follow
the path. The girl had come this way
very recently. Mike: He could still see the stain on a nearby bench
>She had been traveling
with the boy, the one he hated so much.
Satoshi, the trainer who had been so cruel >to him.
Mike: Hey, Jessie. Looks
like the twerp's going to get his
Jessie (yodeling): YAHOO!
>He had been nice, at
first, but after they had encountered Porygon, Satoshi had forgotten about
Pikachu, >and cared more about the strange little program Pokemon. That had angered Pikachu, and he had left.
>The scientist had
caught him, and done a horrid test on him.
Now, he would get his revenge on Satoshi . >for doing this to him,
and would finally be happy with the girl, Kasumi.
Vulpix (sarcastically):
Yeah, she'd just LOVE that slasher-fucked up Pikachu look
>Spotting two figures
ahead, Mutachu picked up his pace.
Tom (with a western
accent): New York city?
>He could tell who it
was, long before their shapes were clear.
HIS scent was in the air.
James: The scent was in the
air, every where I looked around
>It was them. Mutachu began to charge, and in less than a
minute, he was only a foot behind the two.
Mike: Here comes the
blood...
> "Hey, do you hear
something, Kasumi?" Satoshi asked.
Tom: The beating of the
hideous heart!
>They turned around,
Vulpix: Every time I look
around..
>and Kasumi watched in
horror as the mutated Pikachu dug its claws into Satoshi's face.
Mike: That's how you
impress the girl, kill her crush!
>A horrid cry of pain erupted
from
Jessie: Krakatoa
>Satoshi as Mutachu
slashed him from face down, rending him almost into two pieces. Blood splattered >everywhere; on Mutachu,
on the trees beside the path, even on Kasumi.
James: (finds a trash can)
>She raised a hand,
Tom: Hail Mutachu!
>and looked in horror at
the blood there. Mutachu dropped the
limp, dead body of Satoshi, and turned >towards Kasumi.
>Instinctively, she
screamed, and started to run for the forest.
Vulpix: Sounds more like
common sense than instinct, but hey what do I know!
>Mutachu was confused,
Mike: Much like the author
Jessie: Much like James
James (Looks up from the
trash can): Hey!
>and followed her. "Help!" Kasumi cried, "I'm
being chased by a monster! HELP!!!"
Tom: That line was so
original.
>Mutachu realized that
she was afraid of him. Mike:
What was your first clue?
>He realized what he'd
done. He'd killed her one friend and
travel companion left. He'd just torn
Satoshi
>up in front of her
face. She thought he would do the same
to her.
Jessie: Lets hope so
>A grin crossed his
twisted face. He... would...
Jessie: Yes!
>In a single bound, he
landed in front of Kasumi,
Vulpix: Can jump Misty in a
single bound
Mike and Tom start to laugh
Vulpix: Not like that!
Dickwads
>who screamed, and began
to turn, but too late.
Tom: What would she have
done if she did turn around, die slower?
>Mutachu slashed his
claw out, and made a massive gash on one of her legs. She fell to the ground, and
>began to crawl, crying
in pain. Mutachu slashed the leg off
cleanly with is next swipe, and a trail of blood >began to form as Kasumi
continued to crawl. Angered, he grabbed
her by her arm, and pulled with his >fantastic power. The arm ripped out of her torso with a spray
of blood, and Kasumi screamed again.
Jessie: Eww!
> "Pikachu,
why?"
Mike (as mutachu): you're a
bitch who won't put out
>she moaned, as Pikachu
took her remaining arm and leg in each hand, and pulled hard. The arm came off >quickly, but the leg
resisted.
Tom: Resistance is futile
>Taking the arm in his
mouth, he slashed her shirt off, then impaled her on his claws. Finally, he managed >to rip off the other
leg with his other arm, and he let it drop, chewing on the arm still. Blood was >splattered all over the ground
and on Mutachu as he threw Kasumi to the ground,
>and began to rape her
now-dead body.
Mike: was that absolutely
necessary?
Tom: I guess this is what
makes it a lemon
Vulpix: Rough foreplay is
nice, but this is a little ridiculous
>He was very violent
with his clawed hands as he ripped apart her reproductive systems, and by the
>time he was done, all
that could be seen of her pelvic area was a bloody mess of torn human organs.
>Mutachu then proceeded
to slash apart her upper body,
Jessie: But missed and
sliced his own throat
James: I think there is
enough blood in this lemon already
>biting her breasts off
and eating them,
Mike: KFC breast and
thighs, they're finger licking good!
>and tearing her
intestines into small pieces. Finally,
the only unmarred part of her body was her head.
>He took it,
Vulpix (as Misty's ghost):
Hey that's mine!
>and began to pump his
erect member (which he'd kept shielded previously from the blood)
Tom: Somehow after all
this, I don't think that he would mind blood on his dick
Mike: Could be some good
lube
Vulpix: O-k...
>through her open
mouth. After he came into the open maw,
he then threw the head into the air, and sliced >it into two pieces with a
single swipe.
Tom: Me make sushi! Ginsu,
ha!
>He had truly enjoyed
doing that.
All: Wish we could say the
same
>But his lust for more
gore
Vulpix (as Tipper): Oh Al,
kiss me like you did at the convention!
Mike (as Al): Common baby,
lets fuck up like a Republican!
>would not halt
there. He moved over to the remains of
Satoshi, and sent away the flies around the
>corpse.
Tom (as flies): Damn! We
where eating that!
>He began to slash it
up, making it so that no one could tell it had ever been human. He was just about >finished when he heard
an odd sound in the bushes.
Jessie: Just kill me now
James: Now you're getting
into the spirit
>He looked up, and a
loud sound was the last thing he ever heard as a bullet imbedded itself into
>his skull, killing him.
Mike: A bullet usually does
that
>PART III: The Failure
Vulpix: In lemon writing
Mike: I see serial killer
in this writers future
>The scientist stepped
out of the foliage, rifle still smoking,
Tom (as the mask): Smoking!
>As he looked over the
dead bodies. "Why did this have to
happen?"
Vulpix: Bad lemons are the fault of the writer
>he asked himself. "I'm a failure. I can't even make a Pikachu more powerful
without something like this >happening."
Mike: One word,
Thunder-stone
>He shook his head, and
turned back towards the labs. A few
minutes later, the pokelice
Tom: Poke-Lice?
Vulpix: Pocket lice, gotta
scratch em all
Mike: Behold the power of
crabs!
>arrived at the scene,
and only Officer Jenny could hold her lunch down at the sight of the gore
before her.
Tom (as Jenny): Dimpled
chads will get you every time.
> "Poor kids,"
was all she said as she ordered her men to get to work. "I'll never forget those two..."
Mike: Now if only we could
forget this lemon
Tom: Where are Jessie and
James
Vulpix: They broke down
about halfway through the blood
A monitor flashes, they
come running to the screen.
David Duck: Farfetch'd! How
is everyone?
Mike: I think team rocket
are in shock, but we're ok
Tom: So how did you get
through?
David: I had to bribe
Nastina with a good amount of money, speaking of which..
A hole opened in the floor
and team rocket blasted off again.
David: I convinced her to
let Vulpix stay on as a member of the crew.
Vulpix: What!?!
David: Or she could send
you back to the mines
Vulpix: Nevermind, I'll be
happy to help
David: I have to go. But
until then, never look a gift...
Vulpix: Say it and die,
duck boy!
David: Yeah, gotta run!
The screen fades to black.
Mike: That was disturbing..
Tom: 0.O'
Vulpix: What?
Tom: How about we take you
on a tour?
Vulpix: Ok, lets check out
the kitchen first
Mike: A fox after my own
heart
Fin.
How'd ya like it? I'm
working on a new mst format and am trying to get it down. I enjoy hearing your
comments. And I don't enjoy flames, although constructive criticisms are
welcome. Actually, I have never gotten a flame so I haven't been able to
comment on one. I currently a working on getting the full breeder-dex up and
running and currently have 20 entries. (sigh, only 231 to go) When I finish all
entries will be
available for public use.
(Expected completion date: 3-24-01 or, if you are from a foreign country,
24-3-01)
------------------------------------------------------------
}David Duck{
Customer: I'm running
Windows 95...
Helpdesk: Yes...
Customer: ...and now my
computer stopped working!
Helpdesk: Yes, you already
said that.
-The president of Lotus
walks into an elevator with a gun in his hand. In the elevator are: Sadam
Hussein, Timothy McVeigh, and Bill Gates, but there are only two bullets in the
gun!
Who does he shoot???
Gates, twice to be sure.
-"When the forces of
darkness finally overtake me, I hope I have enough strength left to beat the
shit out of Bill Gates."
CEO of Linux Software, A.D.
1999
-Bugs come in through open
Windows
-Computers are like air
conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.
-"If Bill Gates had a
dime for every time a Windows box crashed ... ... Oh, wait a minute, he already
does." - Chris Ward.
-The best way to accelerate
Windows is through one.
-Mac users often swear by
their Macs, whereas PC users often swear at their PCs.
-Meade's law: A PC user
will dissipate between 20% and 40% of their time keeping the machine running
where a Mac user spends 2%.
-Pikachu! ThunderFu..
-Digglet DIG!
-"I'll open up a can
of leek slap on your furry little, pokemon, ass!"
-David Duck
-Don't look a gift vulpix
in the mouth, (dodges fire ball) lick it in the twat! (starts running)
Vulpix: Get back here you
bastard! I'll fry your ass!
(I jump under water and
high tail it out of there!)
Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/
(This is the only article
in this thread)