Leaving the events of tonight is a glittering bliss of lost memories... Tomorrow seems so close on the verge but never begining When I left the glow the other night i did not believe in the events of the drugs But the drugs have a tendency to precipitate the events they preceed... And to you the evidence of my crimes: 1> Eating dirty carrots after twilight 2> Condemning a second god 3> Calling it "Ranch Sauce" 4> Its phallic and its all Ranch sauced like a carrot 5> it won't stop!!! Ever!!! Ever!!! like a cell phone ringing off to eternity 6> should we write who wrote what? why? why write who wrote what??? its all part of this crazy mess of tripping just when I'm starting to think it's not, it becomes crazy again...like a circus....like circles.. like spheres everything is spherical when I say things it makes them so you say it and it is so everything is so so buckets of accents and ranch "sauce" or even just "ranch", we can play whatever we want now or ever!! for that matter... can we play this? can we play that? can we make ourselves more clear to each other using songs? someone else's vision helps to decipher our own mother........control daddy...........nothing me..................bucket I'm your rivulet of what you want me to be...I'm anything you can think of......... What can we think of... no such thing as a cheap thrill cheap is monetary and material thrills are performances...done on a stage love is such a simple a word that describes a billion feelings. need more adjectives, stronger words. yet, we understand that language has its barriers. but only broad concepts are upheld in full with spoken word. individual loves are pressed hard to find category in English Life is more simple joys....cant you just call it that... they arent only temporary, they are eternal, infinite they dont have to end. end, again, always forever. more more than material more than now dont question your existence ever no logical sense whatsoever or ever love something everything no no love cheap silence comes sometimes and it feels uncomfortable...uncomfortable with self? uncomfortable with company no. The discontent grows from within, looking for something to fill the void that you left open. thinking again about this leaves me feeling impersonal in a way i don't like to be... estrange yourself frrom the tarriffs of yesteryear. I only regret the things i never did. Running across a desert naked with maybe two thoughts on my mind, maybe three: 1. Why am I in the desert? 2. Love is need 3. What is that smell but there are still more reasons to stay awake 4. I'm sorry for changing the song but i really needed this mood to take hold of my subconcious "Oh boy this time its the cursor is blinking and its my turn so here we go".... i trust you. say what you will, speak clearly let me hear. be proud. its you that i want to listen to brown is my favorite color and no one elses! whisper words of wisdom let it be....this song means so much to me drugs drugs drugs everyone i like i make them do drugs! we do drugs! drugs and people good people interesting people fun people feng shui i show so many people this world and they all say that im a good person but what does that mean? i do nothing the next person couldnt i just show them how.... people say im open minded but they can be to its in us all ....but if you dont tell them that directly....... ```````~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``````````` fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck wlking down an empt i don't know how to make people happy, should i strive to make others content. i want everyone to enjoy this as much as i do. if i offend you please tell me. i don't know anything at all. enlightenment is not for me and i shall forever struggle for the answers. i do not have them i do not have them. do not ever say sorry. you have no reason to apologize...*unless of course you really want to ]\ i was the one worth leaving i wasn't the one worth leaving i wasn't the one whom not worth leaving but brown is her favorite color blue and black follow him pastels for lauren and the earthtones please send the check to the count, he'll know what to do aquamarine a medallion for strength. people aren't made happy... they just are. it isnt because of one other person or one other event or circumstace. its because of every person, every event, every circumstance, every lesson, every tear. seeing and accepting the balance between pain and happiness. between sorrow and limitless undying love.... we need a big medallion for him......what color? gold, of course! a big shiny gold medallion would be really very cute! what is cute? is it something we all agree on? do all of our perceptions align on this one? why do we elect presidents, or even wear things......just because they're "cute"? cute- now even my perception on cute is changed! having to think about what i just wrote....because I just erased that moment in time..it wont come back....ever what a dirty, filthy, nasty, despicable whore I can be! sometimes I just need to ooze that....my own mental dirt leaking out of my pores.... I need to pee...letting the past leave you is like urinating...letting the waste go back where it's more welcomed (and needed) satisfaction....i think i want a cigarette instant gratification, instant satisfaction, no justification, only action cigarettes, sex, coffee, and tv stimulation, perception, creation inspiration traffic desire craving perfection sex constantly eager protection?......is that even really necessary? need please? instant pleasures i dont want someone to love me please love me? no realizations deliver me........can you even do that? deliver yourself for once... go ahead, erase the thirteen from our hotels, hospitals, and elevators....but you wont ever erase our "thirteen", the one deep within our subconcious......the one everyone is afraid of...sometimes its fun to attach an emotional feeling to something so important you know? lets be flippant for once...just now.......... lets be flippant now and always, but with balance. balance always. with the impulses and the disengagements come conseq-ue-nc-es uhh what a horribly heavy word. ahh. impulse. yay. c-on-se-q-ue-nce. uhh. but, acceptance and understanding of both perspectives is truth. a purpose. a reason. comfort. comfort in knowing why instability has arose. accpetance of anger. fearing truth, but fearing lies even more. truth isnt scary at all. it is overwhelming. so immense. lies are simple answers to escape the frustration of overwhelming truth. balance truth with the lies. lie, say everything is beautifel. speak the truth, beauty is everywhere. accept ugliness, accept lies, accept deciet. accept death. embrace life. embryonic embrace, enchantment, ecstasy, deadly dawn. eden...what a beautiful word..depicting innocence....the innocence we all possess.....we still have it, you know? it's there....be eden...live eden...innocence...and awareness....they aren't opposite..at all..theyre analogous..awareness is just a way to understand the childlike innocence we have..it's so funny how maybe 10 years, 20, or even 30 after..you still remember why you were so indignant about certain things...who gets to "play" first, who has the first say...it's because as children we were just frustrated with those feelings..we didn't have enough to compare them with at that time..maybe we didn't have enough vocabulary then either... hallelujah, just listen to it....really....every breath we take is satisfaction, we dont need anything more...just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hallelujah..........take it all in......an inward cry, your body's toll of the surrounding oxygen is simply a hallelujah.....that's it.... WARNING: LISTEN TO ME! BE AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID! i'm so big and bad and scary...i'm so big and scary i need to use big captions and scary colors to make you pay attention..... WARNING: WARNING: it doesnt matter none of it does... boats mess jupiter gay rocketship close mind phone pick up we dont have to? but the drugs have a tendency to precipitate our perceptions...lets just all write what we want to, wind, water, breath...a kind-of fucked up family ............stop stop. breathe. please take it in dont speak. trying to make everyone feel and see what you do when you do is useless and fruitless. no one will ever see it feel it live it breathe it taste it mean it understand it like anyone else can but you. the more you try the more gets lost!!! please take a step back. observe. learn from silence. watch dont speak listen and stop apologizing. just let life let it happen life is life because thats it---the fact that you comprehend "god" proves you are "god" its lived you cant define it observe it thats life. whatever you think it is, then it will be/ life is and you are.....dont speak stop trying to explain what you see and let people see it for themselves stop let it happen let life live let cant live without understanding dont speak. please take it in and let this happen. whatever it is just please let it happen and you will understand what it is im trying to say seems ironic. if purpose is what you seek then stop looking for it dont speak. please take it in. breathe. stop. explaining a purpose is useless.....purpose is what you make it if you see a block your reality is a block and no one else's reality can compare even if they see and comprehend understand realize the same block..... experience....life.....live.....thats all it is.......stop searching.....useless pain and empty searching. youre here!!! dont speak. please take this in. breathe. stop. stop. stop. brrreeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaatttttttthhhhhhhheeeeeeee.......................... and stop.
