Dear Billy Bob,

     I am writing to you slow because I know you can't read fast.

     We don't live where we did when you left home.  Your Dad read in 
the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles from home, so 
we moved.  I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family 
that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they 
wouldn't have to change their address.

     This place is real nice.  It even has a washing machine.  I'm not 
sure it works well.  Last week I put a load of clothes in, pulled the 
chain and haven't seen them since.

     The weather isn't too bad.  It only rained twice last week.  The 
first time it rained for three days and the second time it rained for 
four days.

     The coat you wanted me to send to you, your aunt said that it 
would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so 
we cut them off and put them in your pockets.

     We got another bill from the funeral home.  They said if we don't 
make the last payment on Granpa's funeral, up he comes.

     Your Uncle Stan locked his keys in his brand new Buick yesterday.  
We were worried because it was a hot day and it took him two hours to 
get Aunt Anna and the kids out.

     Your sister had a baby this morning.  I haven't found out yet what 
it is so I don't know if you are an Aunt or an Uncle.

     Your Uncle John fell in a whiskey vat.  Some men tried to pull him 
out but he fought them off and drowned.  We had him cremated and he 
burned for three days.

     Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck.  One 
was driving and the other two were riding in the back.  The driver got 
out.  He rolled down the window and swam to safety.  The other two drowned
because they couldn't get the tail gate down.

     There isn't much more news at this time, nothing much has happened.
 
        Love,
             Mom


PS. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already
sealed.