A Marine Colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a

dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems

worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of

cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me, Officer, what's

the hold up?"

The Officer replies, "The President is just so depressed about the

impeachment trial that he stopped his motorcade in the middle of the

Beltway. He's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself

on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5

million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection

for him."

"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"

"So far only about three hundred gallons, but I've got a lot of folks

still siphoning!"