We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," 
where  :)  means a smile and :( is a frown.   Sometimes these are 
represented by :-) and  :-( respectively.  Well, how about some 
"asscons"?
      
             Here goes:
      
              (_!_)      a regular ass
      
      
      
              (__!__)    a fat ass
      
      
      
              (!)        a tight ass
      
      
      
              (_._)      a flat ass
      
      
      
              (_^_)      a bubble ass
      
      
      
              (_*_)      a sore ass
      
      
      
              (_!__)     a lop-sided ass
      
      
      
              {_!_}      a swishy ass
      
      
      
              (_o_)      an ass that's been around 
      
      
      
              (_O_)     an ass that's been around even more 
      
      
      
              (_x_)     kiss my ass
      
      
      
              (_X_)     leave my ass alone 
      
      
      
             (_zzz_)    a tired ass
      
      
      
              (_o^o_)   a wise ass
      
      
      
              (_13_)     an unlucky ass
      
      
      
           (_e=mc2_)   a smart ass
      
      
      
             (_$_)     Money coming out of his ass 
      
      
      
             (_?_)   Dumb Ass
      
      
      
      
      
      
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