The Hasselhoff Republic
David Hasselhoff established his own country for cool people called the Hasselhoff Republic.  It is the sweetest country.
David Hasselhoff needed land for his new country so
he just took Egypt's land.  Then David Hasselhoff kicked
everyone out of Egypt so only cool people could live there.
David Hasselhoff appointed himself King of the Hasselhoff Republic
Before David Hasselhoff kicked all the Egyptians out of the country, he made them recreate the face of the Sphinx to look like David Hasselhoff.  David Hasselhoff claimed two pyramids for Geddy Lee and himself.  They each live in their respective pyramids.
When Scott Baio heard that David Hasselhoff established the Hasselhoff Republic exclusively for cool people, he went there and tried to get in.  David Hasselhoff called Scott Baio a douche and cut off his feet.  Then David Hasselhoff made a law stating everyone must run over Scott Baio with their motor vehicle.  It is the only law in the Hasselhoff Republic.
This is David Hasselhoff in the office of his pyramid.  He has a picture of The Fonz in his office.  The Fonz is David Hasselhoff's idol.
Click David Hasselhoff's crotch to go back home
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