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David Hasselhoff Is Cooler Than Will Smith |
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It is obvious that David Hasselhoff is much cooler than Will Smith, but some people may need convincing. These are only some of the reasons. |
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1. Will Smith is a pussy |
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It is painfully obvious that Will Smith is a big greasy woman pussy . Just look at a few of the movies he has starred in. If David Hasselhoff accepted those roles (David Hasselhoff was offered each one, but he turned each one down because they were too stupid), each one would have ended in a much sweeter way. For instance: |
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Independence Day (1996) |
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In Independence Day, Will Smith saves the day by flying up in space to plant a virus in the computer of an invading alien mothership. This makes all of the ships that are destroying earth explode. David Hasselhoff would've hijacked one of the destroyers and blew up Ashton Kutcher's house. Then he would've peed on the mothership, causing it to shortcircuit and spin out of control into the sun. He would've kept the destroyer. |
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Legend of Bagger Vance (2000) |
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In this movie, Will Smith plays a golf caddie who helps Matt Damon find the secret to the perfect golf stroke, and eventually the secret to finding the meaning of life. David Hasselhoff would've dropkicked Matt Damon from the roof of the clubhouse. Then David Hasselhoff would have drove around the golf course on his motorcycle, picking up chicks and smacking people in the face with a 5 iron. |
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Ali (2001) |
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In Ali, Will Smith plays the title role as it chronicles the life and times of Muhammed Ali. David Hasselhoff would have started out boxing but then quit to become a professional cyclist. He would later deem cycling way too easy, so at the Tour de France, he would carry his bike and run the whole thing, but he would still win every Tour de France. |
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2. David Hasselhoff is taller and more muscular than Will Smith |
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Need I say more? |
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3. Will Smith is poor |
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Will Smith is poor. That's just a fact. |
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Poor people wear clothes like this: |
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Rich people wear clothes like this: |
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4. Will Smith is a terrible musician. |
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First of all, it should be noted that Will Smith doesn't actually do anything. He doesn't create the music he performs to. All he does is rap. And not even fast. And most of the time all he says in the songs is "a-HA." Doing what he does is easier than sitting down to take a shit. David Hasselhoff is a REAL musician. He sings. He puts on kick-ass concerts. People adore him in every country in the world. |
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Number of songs on Blender Magazine/VH1's 50 worst songs: |
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1 |
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0 |
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5. David Hasselhoff knows magic |
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David Hasselhoff knows magic, and Will Smith doesn't. One time Will Smith put on a magic show that David Hasselhoff attended. It sucked so much ass that David Hasselhoff went on stage and shrunk Will Smith's dogs. Then David Hasselhoff just stole the dogs because David Hasselhoff likes small dogs. The dogs like David Hasselhoff better anyway. |
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6. David Hasselhoff knows Sting |
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Sting is cool. Will Smith once tried to meet Sting, but Sting refused. Then he called David Hasselhoff to make fun of Will Smith. |
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Click on David Hasselhoff's crotch to go back home |
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