G: Yeah, I run Key Lime Pie Records. So, unless people give me money, I pay for everything myself and I get nothing in return!!
D: You get a kiss every once in a while.
D: I try. [laughter]
MRR: Do you have any tour plans?
M: We are going to play a bunch of places other than the Bay Area all at the same time, since we're going to be in the neighborhood.
D: Ignoring Rhetoric Boy, yes we plan on touring next summer.
MRR: Where do you plan to play?
M: Dong Dahl's
D: You wouldn't think so, but we have a really big following in Dong Dahlia.
MRR: Do you care taht you don't play what everyone else is playing nowadays?...such as emo-core, pop-punk, etc?
G: No, pop-punk is neither pop nor punk. We play punk. *Adam laughs*
Like '80's style punk. A lot of bands now play pop stuff and its just like new
wave, but with guitars instead of syntheizers.
M: We basically play the same kind of stuff that we listen to and always have:
the same stuff that's been around since the early '80's.
D: I mean, Rites of Spring were pretty good and Fugazi's cool,
but all those clone bands... there are too many of them and they all sound
exactly the same. At least, to me. I don't know.
MRR: Do you guys ever get concerned that a bunch of teeny boppers won't like you?
[All around 'yeeeaahhs']
D: Yeah, we're extremely worried about that
A: A lot of our newer music sounds a lot like stuff they play on Top-40 Radio.
If that won't get us the girls we'll give Rap a try. If that doesn't work...
D: Basically, if we don't have forty halter tops at each show, we know we've
got a problem. We do realize that in the future we'll up the minimum number
and we'll have to change our style a little bit to reach that goal,
but right now I think the teeny bopper situation is okay.
MRR: In your eyes (or ears), do you think punk will ever be dead?
D: No.
M: I dunno.
D: Will you ever be dead?
M: When I kill myself on my 30th birthday.
MRR: Do you think you guys'll ever go metal?
M: Geoff and I will.
A: I'm going to go reggae.
G: Yeah, we'll play Slayer covers after A.F.I. is over.
D: I hate all of you.
MRR: Do you prefer 'fuck the state', or 'smash the state'?
D: I prefer 'eat the state'.
M: I prefer 'drive the state'. I've been commuting from L.A.
G: I'd prefer 'smash the state' because you can say it on the radio
D: You like to smash things.
G: I like to smash radios
M: Vic Chalker got a butter knife...
A: I'd prefer 'fuck and smash the state', because when you put the two together, you get crazy violent sex.
D: Adama likes violent sex. All you bondage babes out there; the drummer with the hair likes rough sex.
MRR: It's always the soft-spoken ones, I tell you.
G: Hi Adama's parents!
MRR: You were talking about butter knives?
M: Oh yeah, speaking of Vic Chalker, the poor boy has a butter knife stuck in
his stereo because of Geoff, and... uh... that's all.
G: Okay, Mark and I were in this art class in high school. We were actually mortal enemies,
because we are both smart-ass shit-starters, and there was a stereo in the classroom. There was some
collegate crap blaring out of the thing...The Dead Milkmen, I think. I kept threatening to bust
some heads if they didn't turn it off, but do you think that did any good? Of course not, so I grabbed a
butter knife off my desk, walked over to their table and stabbed the stereo until it stopped playing.
D: Yeah, and if Geoff ever breaks a string... watch out.
M: Yeah, 'cause one time when we were rehearsing in Adam's garage,
Geoff broke a string and went aggro. He threw his bass on the floor, picked it up and threw it on the floor again.
D: I dove behind one of the cars in the garage, Adam crawled into his bass drum to hide,
Mark heartily expressed his approval until Geoff finally stopped and surveyed the damage. *silence*
M: Davey is the most popular guy on campus.
Everyone else: But Mark is the Big Man on Campus!
M: Aw, fuck. I was asking for that.
G: Because he's so pretty.
D: If you ever see us, you'll know which one of us is Mark, whether or not he's playing
guitar or anything because he's the one that's pretty. He's the cutie.
Don't be intimidated, feel free to give him a big wet kiss from me.
MRR: Do you eat donuts?
M: What? No.
MRR: What are your favorite kinds of donuts?
M: I told you I don't eat donuts. Can't you hear?
D: I like French Cruellers. There's a donut that they make in this donut shop in Ukiah,
it's called the 'Chocolate Fuck You', or the 'Fuck You I'm Chocolate' or something.
You know what I'm talking about Adam? It's this big chocolate bar.
A: Uh, no
D: What's wrong with you?
A:I like chocolate old-fashioned. They're all I eat.
G: Besides shit. (Laughter from the gang)
D: If you're ever in Ukiah, there's this donut shop across the street from Taco Bell on State Street.
They have these donuts about nine inches long: they're chocolate in the middle, chocolate covered,
chocolate chips on top, and they're fucking awesome.
G: Yeah, that donut place is in a prime location: about three blocks away from
a store that sells liquor and firearms. [Laughter]
M: 'Whiskey John's Guns and Liquor'.
G: Oh yeah, ask us about Wal-Mart
D: Yeah, ask us about Wal-Mart
MRR: What about Wal-Mart?
G: Well, let me tell ya. I went there with Dave and Mark looking for material to print patches on and there was this
gangster girl there and she walked by and laughted and said, "It's not Halloween, you know." While she was
walking away I said, "You coulda fooled me." She came back and got in my face and said, "What did you say?"
I looked her in the eye and said, "YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME." I basically spelled it out for her and she
was tough or something and said that Ukiah was her city and Wal-Mart was her territory and to watch out for her or some crap.
A: That's basically why we left. *lots of laughter*
G: Then her boyfriend got in my face and said, "Hey man, this is my girlfriend. Why don't you shut up?", and I said,
"well then why don't you tell her to shut up?!", and he just walked away. That was about it. Oh!,
and there's another story about Wal-Mart. Davey and I were buying dog chains and this redneck,
typical Ukiahan guy walked by, and said, "Hey look, they're buying their jewelry." And then Davey says,....
D: "That's right, MOTHERFUCKER!!" *laughter*
G: I didn't see who it was. I looked for him and was gonna go up and say,
"Yeah, they're for your wife", but I couldn't find who he was.
MRR: Davey, tell the story about the time you guys played with SNFLL.
D: Well, we have a couple of stories about that... When we played with SNFU, Geoff and I and our friend Smiff...
Mark was there too, Adumb had already left, for reasons unmentioinable. We were standing at the table selling stuff,
and there was this big girl... She was really tall, about 100 feet tall and...She wasn't fat or anyting-
she was just BIG. She had this big smile and bright red lipstick and a
short blond flat-top - a bleached blond haircut like the girl in Rocky IV, or whatever.
M: Like Susan Powter.
D: Yeah, like her! 'Stop the Insanity!' So, she kept coming up to the SNFU table and out stuff and saying, "Anything free?"
and she'd smile. We'd say, "No" and she'd make this grimace, pout, roll her eyes and walk away. She kept coming up and
doing that and at one point, I was drinking Jolt and I had let somebody else drink out of it. There was lipstick on it when
she gave it back to me. I said to Dave (SNFU's manager) after I drank from it, "That's the closest thing I've come
to a kiss in a long time." And, so, he says, "Aw, Davey, you just got to exert yourself." So the big girl comes back
and takes these two SNFU stickers off the table and tapes them to her breasts, which were kind of large.
Dave says, "Don't make me go there, 'cause I will." She says, "Well what if i run?"
and Dave says, "Well, me and Davey will have to catch you and tear them off. Won't that be fun?"
I was just sitting there, so Dave says, "I'll tell you what. If you give my friend Davey here a little
kiss I'll let you have those two stickers for free." She says, "Okay," and then he asked,
"How about you, Dave?", "Uh, okay." - I thought I was just gonna get a little smooch...
G: So Davey puckers up and the girl takes her hand, puts it behind Davey's head,
and this 80 foot tongue shoots out of her mouth and goes down Davey's throat!
D: I was shocked, I was crying, I couldn't breathe. Ohhh- it was horrible.
G: My eyes popped out of my head about three feet.
D: It was traumatizing.
M: And later on when she saw you what did she say? Oh, "I'll see YOU later."
D: I'm a fucking idiot.
MRR: Closing comments?
M: Macaroni and Cheese.
D: Oh! Monster Cereal.
A: Oh, I must kill myself.
D: Jello B. Mothra.
G: Buy our records, buy our shirts, and write to us. If you send us a SASE, we'll send you a patch.
D: We'll have buttons and stickers soon...I've gotta pee.
