Wednesday, May 27, 1998 (8:35am)-HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, tee hee!! Das right, yup yup. Today be MUH DAY! I turn 20 years old. Da big "2" "0". I'm in muh twenties now baby.
FINE GIRL:"how old are you cutey?"
ME:"I'm in my twenties. lost track a few years back."
hee hee. BABY BABY!
I'm sitting in my CS final right now, doing nuttin caue i am da BAD ASS MOTHER F-ing MAMMA JAMMA. Dat's right peeps, jes call me Bamfmj for short. Whose da man...Bamfmj's da man. And i gots another final in like 2 hours but no prob. aint no thang but an itty bitty spicy chicken wang. YEAH! i don't know what else to say but
Happy Birthday to ME!
Happy Birthday to ME!
Happy Birthday to the Bad Ass Motha F-ing MAMMA JAMMA Davey "bamfmj" Cla-ark!
Happy Birthday tooooooo MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
AND MANY MORE! yeah! now go sign my guestbook foolio's!!

Thursday, May 21, 1998 (2:30pm)- Well, only like a bit more than 3 hours till i have to go face the judge for my ticket. I know they just gonna suspend my driving priveledges. Isn;t like over 100mph considered Reckelss driving? And I already have 2 speeding tickets prior to this one. Oh boy. This be not very good. Maybe I just wont show. Or maybe I'll show and I'll find some way to get the judge all alone and then I'll slip him a shiney nickel. Think that would work? Well, I have to do drive like 2 hours to get to the court, so, i should get going. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, May 20, 1998- Aight, today straight bit the weenie. I have been trying to reaqch my daddy all day and either he ran away or he is avoiding me. (dont worry joyce, things are looking good). But the thing that really stinks is that i went to the mall today and I saw that chick from my music class being escorted by some skinny-ass-ugly mofo. Shi-nit. And i was just about to move in for the kill too. hee hee. yeah right. Man, what a bummer. How inconsiderate of her to be walking around in public with her boyfriend. Sheesh! Just for that i don't think I am going to give her my number. : (
Shoot, major chem test tomorrow AND i have court. Scary stuff man. I got a speeding ticket for goin 105mph and I wasn't even the one speeding. Freaking punks. So, i have top go to court and put on the ol' Clark charm. So, you people will write me while in jail wont you? OK, time to go stress out a bit. Night.

Tuesday, May 19, 1998- Oh boy. Not much to say today. You in shock? I pretty much just slept for most of the day. Finals are coming up. Definately not looking forward to that. Six mofo'in finals. I think i am going to go back to bed now. Got lots to think about. buh bye.

Monday, May 18, 1998- Today was just a straight crappy day. I woke up hella late. There was nothing in the fridge and i had to go to my 7pm class famished. While there had I had to turn in my two essays. Both the product of about 1/2 hour of bullshitting. Then i come home to a big housing dilemma. Now, I have to read a crapper load for literature and do these article things for business class, and I am so tired i just want to sleep. AND i am still hungry. oh boy. I wish i was rich. I dont know exactly how, but i am sure it would solve everything. And i hate those damn geocities banners that pop up. Is there no way to get rid of those things? I know they exist just to frustrate me. I swear it's some sort of plan to drive me nuts. Well...I think i should sign off now. Things need to get done. Anyone have any ideas for my next little programming project? Dont you think that it's pretty sad that they put an "s" in the word lisp?
Stranger: What the hell is the matter with you? Why do you talk so damn funny?
Person : I have a lithp.
Stranger: What?
Person : i thaid i have a lithp.
Stranger: We're in America dammit! speak english!
Person : lithen athhole..I thaid i have a mother fucking lithp! a lithp! you friggin deaf? A LITHP!!

Sunday, May 17, 1998- Well, lets see. All I did today was sit at home and watched TV. I have 2 essays to do but i just cant get myself to begin them. One is an extra credit essay so I might not even do it. But Lord knows i need the extra credit.
Has anyone else read the May SPECIAL DOUBLE ISSUE of People? It's the "50 Most Beautiful People on the World" edition. I cant beleive some of the poeple that are in there? Who the hell was the committee that chose these poele?!? FREAKING ERYKAH BADU? PSSH! But, Joyce, you'll be happy to know Will was one of them. And so was Helen Hunt, Nick. But the thing that REALLY upset davey was that Anna Kournikova(sp) made it in. I suppose she could be considered pretty, but the beotch has some friggin nerve man. They asked her to "recall and time when she looked her best," and the snotty brats answer was, "I look good now." That'ss not all. Then they asked her mom to share something with them about her, and her mom said that she is always walking around saying, "I'm beautiful, famous, and gorgeous," and then Anna quickly replies, "She's right. That's my favortite saying." Someone needs to bust a Ancy Kerrigan(sp) or Monica Selles(sp) on her ass. Know who else was included? Gloria Stuart. The old Rose from the Titanic. I dont know waht these peopel were thinking. oh well. I guess beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. But Eryhak Badhu? C'MON!!!

May 16, 1998- Morning peeps. It's Saturday Morning and I had to come to school. Doesn't that bite? Oh well...sux for me. Since eveyone has been complaining that these thoughts are too long and that I write like a "mofo," i would like to apologize for my rambling. But you have to understand, i have absolutely nothing to do here. This is my only form of entertainment and communication with the world since i have NO FRIGGIN FRIENDS. Likei said before, it sux being shy. But i wont start that again. Speaking of tennis, I was inolved in a mean game last night. I was going to check the mail and these people were playing tennis and they said that they needed another person to play doubles and since the person i would be teamed up with was this pretty hot girl, i agreed. Now dont laugh at me, you'd be suprised of how well I did. Seriously Joyce! It wasn't at all like the old days where I would always lob it like 50ft in hte air, i did well. We ended up losing by one set, but it was the girls' fault. It really was. But it was fun. Haven't done anything that active for a long time. And thus my body is paying the consequences this morning. Oh well. I think I will go to the mall today and get me some socks. Ya, sounds like a plan. Has anyone up there at Berkeley figured out the housing thing yet? buh bye. baby baby!

May 15, 1998- Today is a good day...yes it is. Don't you just love it when you wake up and you can just FEEL that it is going to be a good day. I went to CS class, turned in my program folder, and almost fisnished my final project. And i even had so muc time that i made a game. Wanna see it? ok, follow this link to download it. (LINK) It's not very complex, but i enjoyed making it. Anyway...then i went to Music class and we had a listening test. had to identify 11 different pieces. I just know i got a 100%. Here is where my day had its little dip. Well...i wouldn't call it a dip but...just listen. The Wed-Fri class isn't my normal class. i missed yesterday so i sat in today's to make up. So i had never seen any of the people in the class. As i was walking to class i noticed this girl walking so that our paths would cross and we would meet. Well, that is if i slowed down my pace. hee hee. So I did and when she got close i didn;t want to make it seem TOO obvious that i was checking her out so i just kinda glanced at her...and BABY...she was FOINE!! I think i let out a little yelp when i saw her..not too sure. My mind went blank. Anyway...although iwanted to jump her right then and there i didn't really give her much thought cause i would probably never see her again. But then i noticed that we were both walking in the same class. Not only did i look super pimp walking in to class with this incredible specimen of woman, but the only two seats available that weren't right in front were side-by-side. So, i sat down first realy fast so i could try and deceive myself and boost my ego a bit by thinking that SHE sat by ME on purpose. I mean hey, there was a seat up front. hee hee. OK. so, we take our test and that was that. i didn't really look at her much cause she was on my right and the teacher was to the left--no reason to look her direction. Well, of course for the occasional back stretch (ok, so it was like every 5 minutes). So am i sounding pathetic and crazed yet...shiet...wait till i get started. hee hee. I wanted this girl sooo bad. She was the prettiest asian chick I have seen at my school. Not that i JUST look at the asians, but i am just trying to explain how FOIEN she was. OK. So, class got out and we exited and i made sure to leave first so i didn't look like iwas following her in case we walked the same direction. Which, we did. She caught up to me and we were walking side-by-side. I tell ya, i just about..well..nevermind that. My mind was racing and i was searching every last inch of my mind to try and remember something slick that i had heard someone say to a girl. But, having the friends that ihave, i didn't come up with anything. But i knew for damn sure that i wasnt going to bust another Sabrina (look at May 12th to find out what i mean). So, I gathered all my confidence and said, "what's your name?" You swear it wasn't the stupidest thing you have ever friggin heard. I couldn't beleive that is what I said. we weren't even facing each other or anything. Shoot me. Anyway, she looked over her shoulder at me and gave me her name. I was so damn nervous that i don't even remember her friggin name. Something close to Julia or something. Then she asked me for my name and she said it was nice to meet me. As we were both headed toward the parking lot she started talking to me. Asked me what clas i was in. Why i went to her class. She asked me what i thought of it. I asked her for sex. hee hee. jes playin. So we got to the parking lot and i knew that we were soon going to part. This is the part that makes we wanna just drive off Hoover Dam. We walked to the sopt where her car was parked (a 98 Civic) and I couldn't get myself to ask for the digits. She asked if I was going to go to her class from now on, which made me think that shewas trying to find out if we would see each other again. Then she said, "Well, it was nice meeting you David." and i said the same. She opened her backback to find her keys as i walked away. The thing is that i was so freakin stunned by this girl that i couldn't remember where the hell i had parked. I knew it wa somewhere near where i was standing but where EXACTLY was beyond me. But i didn't want to look like a fool so i just kept walking. Hee hee. this is the funny part. Then i looked back to get one lasat glance at her and i noticed that i was parked RIGHT NEXT to her..the spot RIGHT to her right. HA HA. I turned around and walked back and she looked up at me and..well...what could i say? How the shiz-nit do you play off that degree of stupdity? So, i just gave her this stupid little smile and said, "We parked next to each other." She gave me this big "you're a dope" smile and then i hopped in my car and tried to get out of there as fast as i could. Then i hit this car parked in front of me. Nah..just kidding. I didn't hit a car, but that sure would've been funny no?. Anyway. Although it sounds like I missed out on something...i'm fairly satisfied. I got her name and we were introduced. So if i ever see her again I cna say hi and talk to her. That and the sun is shining, Pascal is all done, and I got into Berkeley. Yup..today is a good day. Yes it is.

May 12, 1998- I dont even have the majority of the page up yet, but i am bored out of my mind so i thought i would write something here and let everyone know what is on my mind Tuesday morning. I haven't gone to bed yet and i am so damn tired. Vegas sucks. Community College sucks. Being too shy sucks. While visiting Arcadia this weekend i was in Macy's at the Arcadia Mall and i think i fell in love with the girl that works in the watch department. She was really pretty and looked even sweeter. Totally opposite of those hoochie looking bitchie ass girls that apply there makeup with a spatula. She kept looking at me. I know i've been out of the game for a while now, but unless my spider senses were wrong, she was givin me the eye. No, not the Sicilian voodoo "i'm gonna curse your ass" evil eye. The "hey bad boy i'm in love which you" eye. Anyway, I discovered her looking at me a few times and she smiled when caught. I knew i couldn't stand there all day like a fool. So, i knew i had to act quick and strike with such slyness, slickness, and suave as humanly plausable. So, i handed her back the watch i was looking at, waited till our eyes were locked and fixated on one another, and slowly and smoothly uttered the words,"ok, thank you," then i walked away. Ahhhh crappers! Somebody shoot me! I was too damn shy to ask her anything about herself. I left empty handed: no date, no digits, and I couldn't even afford to buy the damn watch i was looking at. However, i did get her name. Yup yup. what can i say except, thank goodness for name tags yo. so, if you happen to be reading this Sabrina from Arcadia Macy's, come and get some. :)
OH YEAH! Almost forgot, I'm going to Berkeley next year everyone. BABY BABY!!

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