Once upon a time (this is NOT a fairy tale) I worked in an office where the boss would take several of us out to dinner each month. He made the mistake one time of inviting me and my best friend Don at the same time. After we had finished up a great steak dinner the boss asked us what we would like to do next.

        Now, the usual after dinner treat was to go to a baseball game or some other such boring thing, but it just so happened that there was a stripper, sometimes known as an exotic dancer, at a local Country and Western honky tonk." So naturally Don and I said, "Let's go to the Dixie Club for some country and western music." The boss didn't know that the exotic stripper dancer was going to be there, but he DID like country and western music.

        When we got to the Dixie Club the country and western band was just getting warmed up and only a few other good ole boy customers were there. We had been there only a few minutes when the lonely exotic stripper dancer joined us at our table. Well naturally Don and I felt real sorry for her and invited her to dance. And of course since we were so handsome, she gratefully accepted our invitations.

        As the evening wore on, the boss became more and more interested in the proceedings and after the lonely exotic stripper dancer did her first act he decided we needed to stay to see her final act which was at midnight! Since the Dixie Club closed after the last act, we were finally able to get the boss to leave.

        On the way home, about 60 miles away, I kept smelling some strong perfume. I told Don, "Boy, you smell just like that lonely exotic stripper dancer!" He said, "Ha! You do too!" Well, we figured we were gonna be in bad trouble when we got home if we still smelled like a lonely exotic stripper dancer so we took our shirts off and hung them out the car window to get shed of the exotic aroma.

        When we got home at about two in the morning our wives were sitting there waiting on us and they must have been overjoyed to see us because they said, "Where in the HELL have y'all been?" Since I never lie, I said, "We went to the Dixie Club!" Well naturally our wives thought we had gone to a stupid baseball game or something. Our boss must have really caught 'what for' from his wife that night because the next morning the announced, "There won't be no more going to the Dixie Club!"

        In 1961 we moved to the big city where at that time the infamous Jack Ruby had a 'nightclub' that sold watered down expensive and illegal drinks. He also had an infamous stripper who went by the name of Candy Bar. Well, when my friend Don and his wife came to visit with us, he insisted that we go to see Candy Bar. So we wound up at a table right up by the stage just before Candy Bar made her entrance.

        It took Candy Bar only a few minutes to get shed of most of her clothes and then she noticed that handsome young guy (me) and invited me up on the stage with her. I started to get up from the table to run away and she grabbed my necktie thinking she was gonna drag me kicking and screaming up there with her. Fortunately I was wearing one of those fancy 'clip-on' neckties and it came plum loose. Then she just hooked the dang thing in her G-String and kept right on prancing around on the stage.

        A few years later I was sent to Puerto Rico to install a computer system. Unbeknownst to me, when someone from the states came down there, the office staff always took the poor unsuspecting visitor to a night club where there was a belly-dancer. And they always got the belly dancer gal to come over and drag the poor visitor out on the stage and embarrass him! I got even with the Puerto Rican ringleader later however. Introduced him to hamburger steak liberally laced with jalapenos.

        Adios Amigos y Amigas!