A golfer in front of us got so mad one day that he threw his clubs, bag and all, into a pond. He then trudged off toward the clubhouse and his car. Fifteen minutes later he came back, jumped into the pond and retrieved his equipment. After finding his car keys, he threw all the equipment back in the pond and left. We never saw him again!

      On a par three hole one of our foursome hit his ball into a deep canyon between the tee and the green. He disappeared down into the canyon to find his ball and after about five minutes we began to worry about him. We walked over to the edge of the canyon to see if he was OK and just then he yelled "FORE!". He had the ball in his hand and was about to throw it out. Commonly known as a 'hand wedge.'

      That same guy took a terrific swing at his ball on the tee one day and you could have heard the whoosh for a block. Problem was, the ball was still sitting on the tee. A couple of old men were sitting on a bench nearby and one of them said to the other (seriously), "Boy that guy sure takes a mean practice swing!"

      I was playing in a match play tournament one time and my opponent hit his ball out into the rough. After we had looked for his ball for a few minutes he yelled out "I found it!" I knew that sucker was lying because I was standing on his ball.

      Handicaps: That is something you use to lie about how poorly you shoot. Then when you get in a tournament you can shoot your regular score and beat everybody.

      I played in a Pro Am one time and we had a guy who claimed a 16 handicap. The Pro shot even par and the 16 handicapper beat him WITHOUT his handicap!