Having acquired a paid-for house I decided to become one of them Real Estate Tycoons like Donald Trump and I even hired me a real estate manager. Said manager promptly rented my house to a "nice little lady" who would take real good care of my property. My first indication that I had a problem was that the nice little lady thought weeds three feet high was a real pretty lawn. And the city had informed me that I was about to receive a hefty fine!

        Then I started getting phone calls from irate neighbors of the nice little lady. She had three kids who were going door to door begging for something to eat! They were also climbing up on the roof of my house and throwing rocks at passers-by.

        Then one day I got a call from "nice little lady" and she said the ceiling fan in living room was broke. I went over there and found out her kids (aka brats) had pulled the cord plum out of that thing that turned the damn ceiling fan on and off. Since ceiling fan was now off I told 'nice little lady' that was the way it was going to stay. I told her to just depend on the air conditioner and I hoped they couldn't figure out a way to break that.

        I had me a talk with my real estate manager and asked 'where did you find that nice little lady and how soon can you get her to leave?' RE manager said, 'Not sure we can get her to leave. Her boy-friend just moved in and he is 6'7' and weighs 350 lbs.!' Well it took while, but after said boy-friend got sent back to prison from whence he had escaped, the manager encouraged nice little lady to move on. She acquiesced only because she didn’t want boy-friend to know where she was!

        After she moved out and I spent a few thousand dollars cleaning up the place and I fired my Real Estate Manager, I leased it to a couple who were real nice. I thought! They both were school teachers and I had, and still do, respect school teachers. After all, if it hadn't been for school teachers I wouldn't be so intelligent! And let me tell you something else, most school teachers may be real nice folk and do real good things, but some of them don't know diddle de squat about keeping up a house! Fortunately, both of them got fired from the school system because their classrooms were too messy and they moved out of town.

        My next tenants were a couple that were both law~enforcement people. I thought 'oh boy I have it made now.' Well, I went over there one day to collect my past due rent and could hardly get in the house. They had big boxes stacked all around the walls from floor to ceiling in every room! I never did find out where they had moved from, but it sure must have been a larger place than my humble abode. I did me a little investigating and found out they usually moved from one place to another every 90 days. So I guess that explains why they could never get them boxes unloaded.

        I am only about three or four years into my adventure as a landlord so you will have to wait till next month to see what happens next! (And it don’t get no better!)