Woof! Woof! (that�s�s a big howdy to you two legged guys).
When I was little I had several brothers and sisters, but one by one they kept disappearing until I was all alone. After about six weeks of being alone I heard the man who had been feeding me say, �Well, it looks like we are gonna have to put him down.� I sure couldn�t understand that because I was already down on a dirt floor. Now how much farther down can you get than that?
Then one day soon after that an old man came up to my cage and had a little dog with him. Just as soon as he saw me he said, �Rosie, I want him. Is that OK with you?� Rosie said �yip� and a few minutes later the old man and his funny little dog put me in a car and off we went. They took me into the largest dog house I had ever seen. To tell the truth, it was the first dog house I had ever seen! It had lots of rooms that had real soft floors.
I tested the floors out by doing �my business� and they worked just fine. The old man and Rosie however, didn�t like that very much and Rosie got after me something awful. She said, �From now on, when I bark you just follow me!� And that is how I learned what back yards are also used for. For a few days they didn�t call me anything but �dog�. Then one day the old man came in with something he called a cheeseburger that he had bought from a place named �Jakes�. It smelled so good I tried to eat it before the old man could but he was so stingy he just pushed me away. And then he started calling me �Jake�. So I reckon my name is Jake.
I am now the happiest 10 month old Golden Retriever you will ever meet. I�m also rather handsome. I know that because I look at myself in a mirror a lot! Now don�t get me wrong. I don�t have an enlarged ego and I am friendly to everybody! My step-sister, Rosie, likes to boss me around. She is a lot smaller than me, but she sure is strict and sometimes she even scares me. Then other times we chase each other all over the yard and sometimes even in our house. We even have our own sofas, chairs and beds.
I am so nice I even let the old man sleep in my bed. But sometimes he starts snoring so loud I have to go to one of my sofas in another room. If he tries to sleep too late I have to lick him in the face so he will get up and let me and Rosie go outside. One day he was drinking his cup of coffee and had ignored our need to go out so I just looked him right in the eye and watered the floor real good! He must have learned something from that because now he lets us out just as soon as I wake him up. Even when it�s dark!
The old man has something he keeps pointing at me and then I see a bright light. He sure must enjoy doing that to me because he does it so much. I really don�t mind if it makes him happy. Rosie however, is another story. Every time the old man turns that thing on she runs and hides. Guess she musta been scared by a light when she was a little kid.
Now the old man insisted on teaching me how to type. Don�t know what he�s gonna come up with next. I wish he would just get his jollies by pointing that flashing thing at me because I think I�m already smart enough and don�t need to be taught anything else. I have a few things up my sleeve though and I may just start teaching him a thing or two.
Gotta go now. Rosie just said, �That sure is a silly story� and my paws are getting tired.
Since Doug has had a case of writer's block (I think he is just lazy), I decided to send you something I wrote.
Thanks,
Jake (One of Doug's BestFriends)