Art Linkletter wrote a book, �Old Age Ain�t For Sissies�. Boy oh boy, is that ever true! Following is a typical day in the life of this Senior Citizen:
After avoiding my Cardiologist for about two years I was forced to have a stress test. The doctor had finally caught on to my playing hooky and refused to prescribe any further medication until I had the blasted test. Since you have to sign a paper stating that if they kill you it�s not their fault, I thought I would refuse to sign. Didn�t bother them one bit! The TMO (Torture Machine Operator) just said it was my problem she had plenty to do without playing games with me. I showed her what was what�In a last ditch stand I signed my name as illegibly as possible and then submitted to the test.
Afterwards I was determined to sweet talk the doctor into letting me take the next test in not less than two years, but by the time I escaped I had been scheduled for another test in six months! They just won�t be happy until that TMO gets me!
Last year I opened an account at a small branch bank just a few blocks from me. Could walk in, be greeted by name, conduct my business and be out of there in less than five minutes. Then they built larger and more modern facilities right across the street. Instead of the traditional counter with teller windows they now have computer stations for the tellers scattered around all over the lobby. One thing was unchanged however. They have eight stations and only two tellers. And this time I had to wait about twenty minutes while one of the tellers was explaining to a couple of old codgers how great their new system is.
Finally when I was allowed to present the teller with my check for cash it took about five minutes for him to enter all the �data� into his computer. Then he gave me a slip of paper with some numbers on the bottom of it�.no cash. Then I had to take the slip over to something just like an ATM (which I hate), and enter the numbers. Amazing! I hit the jackpot and $20 dollar bills popped up out of a slot just like magic. Even more amazing was that I got the same amount as I had written the check for.
My next battle that day was to pick up the prescriptions that Dr. Heartache, the cardiologist, had given me. After a thirty minute wait in line at the pharmacy, my prescriptions were presented to me with a sneer and the comment, �You don�t have insurance!� and they wanted an astounding amount of money. After reviving I explained that I had NOT cancelled my insurance. The clerk spent another thirty minutes on the phone talking to the insurance company. They had changed their ID numbers because of a new and improved computer system and I had never been given a new card.
The clerk told the insurance company that they had to do something because they had an old man standing there about to tear out the rest of his hair! The stupid insurance company finally decided I was a long-time paying customer and blamed it on a computer error�They always blame errors on the poor computer. And since I worked with computers for over thirty years I knew that computers never make mistakes. They do only what the programmers tell them to do. But try telling that to the clerks! At any rate, I got out of there without becoming bankrupt and headed for the house happy to have my battles for the day over with.
Then I was driving very carefully down the right-hand lane in my yet as un-dented car when some idiot to my left decided to make a RIGHT HAND TURN right in front of me! It�s a good thing I wasn�t going more than 70 mph or I would have hit that sucker! I finally got home, put the car in the garage without hitting anything and decided I would just get in bed for a while. Guess what? Both dogs were in my bed and wouldn�t move over! Oh well, I am used to the sofa anyhow.