Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is the conclusion I’ve come to, and I figure it is only fair that I join the group of people with a similar view.
I could try to maintain my status as a conservative, but this recent discovery I’ve made doesn’t fit into the conservative ideology. After all, one of the major conservative tenets maintains that people are competent enough to take care of themselves and can decide what they want to do with their own money. Therefore, they don’t need big government to run their lives for them.
However, I’ve realized that people really are incompetent and need me, the sagacious David Roberts, to lead them, guide them, spoon-feed them and clean their diapers. Unfortunately for me, I’m not in a position to do that just yet. I could try to run your life right now, but by what authority could I do so?
The only way is to run for office, and as soon as I’m elected, you can guarantee that David Roberts will have the authority to instruct you how to live and what to spend your hard-earned money on. This is all for your own benefit, of course. You should understand that when I tax the heart and soul from you, I’m only doing so because it’s what’s best for you.
You could hurt yourself with all that money you earn, and besides, any “wealthy” fool knows that giving all their money to me is the best thing to do with it. But, because I’m so benevolent, I may give small perks in the form of government programs to those who are especially dependent on my providing hand.
A dirty little secret of mine is that I inwardly hope that more of you become more dependent on my provisions. Then, you’ll continue to put me in power because you think that I’m making your lives “better.” Ha ha! Poor fools.
It’s a shame that you lack the intelligence to grasp that my true ambition is just to lord over you. If only you weren’t so ignorant, you might wake up and realize that I’ll be doing nothing to improve your quality of life.
What I’ve written thus far is pure sarcasm. I really won’t be joining the liberal ranks anytime soon, and I don’t believe that my intelligence is supreme. Instead, I was using this to illustrate exactly how a liberal in power feels about you, the average citizen.
The elected liberal believes that you are so hopeless that you can’t tie your shoes in the morning without his or her steadfast hand guiding you through it.
Now, a question arises — what do you believe about yourself? If you truly believe you are stupid and you need an “all-wise” government official to tell you what to do, then liberal is the way to go for you.
However, if you believe that you are can do things on your own, then perhaps you may be more conservative than you realize, especially if you believe that you know how to spend your own hard-earned dollars better than Uncle Sam.
Hopefully, this column has enlightened you to the truth. If this is the case, then please consider carefully the next time you choose to affiliate yourself with a political ideology, unless you do so out of sheer ignorance.