I, David Rodriguez, declare myself to be the dumbest human male on the face of the earth. I believe this to be a correct analysis of my "abilities". This is something that others may have trouble buying into simply because of the generally accepted idea that I am "smart", but nevertheless, it is a true statement. I believe this to be true for the following reasons. I feel that being intelligent and being "smart" are two completely different concepts. Intelligence is merely the ability to memorize facts, while being "smart" has more to do with what you do with your abilities. I feel that I have not used my abilities to the fullest potential. Therefore, I believe that I do not deserve the label "smart".
Furthermore, I feel that being "smart" is relative, meaning that in order to be considered "smart", you must be able to use your abilities better than other people. I prefer not to make the assumption that I use that abilities that I have been given to a greater effect than other people do. I feel that I am superior to NO ONE. I feel that at most, I am equal to others. In effect, I tend to see myself in a lower regard than others seem to, mainly due to the misconception that I am "smart".
I believe that I should not try to hide what I am, a dumb person,nor should I try to fool others into believing that I am "smart". I feel that deception can only lead to disgrace, and I cannot allow so many to believe what I know to be a blatant LIE. In order to regain my self-respect, I need to make the truth known. I am at a new stage in my life and I must shed any past problems in order to live up to the expectations placed upon me by my family, friends, and most importantly, by myself. For this reason, I declare myself to be the dumbest human male on the face of the earth and hope to stop another episode of what plagued me throughout my high school career. In doing this, I hereby rescind the image of being "smart" and attempt to move on with my life.
David G. Rodriguez
Future Professional Beach Bum