"THE DUBBALIN MAN!"
 

When asked one time  by an Indian doctor did he believe in mixed marriages,
Behan told him that "all marriages are mixed, they're between a man and a woman. At least mine is anyway". Well This is my new look Behan page.
I often wonder what he would have made of all this, considering that his first
memory was of seeing his Father waving at him through the bars of Mountjoy
prison in 1923. He was imprisoned there during the Civil War. Brendan himself  was no stranger to prison, he spent time in Borstal when a teenager
after being caught with explosives in Liverpool. He was a dedicated
member of na Fianna h-Eireann, the youth wing of the I.R.A. There is much contention as to whether or not Behan was a fully fledged I.R.A. man, but
he was given the full funeral in glasnevin cemetery  in 1964.
Anyway I'm not going to judge one way ot the other, the purpose of this page
is to promote Brendan as the great storyteller and character that he was.
 

Brendan is also remembered for his excellent one line quotes, such as:-

"I never took to the drink, the drink always seemed to turn to me!"

"The sign said drink Canada Dry, so I've started!"

"New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment . . . . a place
 where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat"

"It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of
 respect for everything and everybody"

"I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that
 which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and the old
 men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer."

"I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it
 worse."

"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it
  done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves."

"I was court-martialed in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence,
 so I said they could shoot me in my absence."

It would be unfair, though, to give the impression that he was perpetually drunk. But his first memories of "the hard stuff", was watching his Granny drinking whiskey from a teapot!
 

These few jokes have been attributed to the wise cracking of Brendan Behan, who could doubt that.

1.

This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street. It was at a time when he was at the height of his drunken notoriety and passes-by naturally thought he was
dead drunk. They took him to the nearby surgery of one of Dublin's most fashionable and respected doctors. The doctor decided to take a cardiograph and, somewhat nervous of his patient, thought to humor him. He explained the
workings of the cardiograph needle as it registered the faint heartbeats of the very sick and semiconscious Brendan. "That needle there is writing down your pulses, Mr. Behan, and I suppose, in its own way, it is probably the most
important thing you have ever written." To which Behan replied: "Aye, and it's straight from me heart, too."

2.

Brendan Behan, late Irish author, was the soul of courtesy, but there were times when he could give back as good as he got. Brendan and a friend were emerging from the Long Hall in Dublin during the Christmas season, and Brendan had the misfortune to bump into a lady laden with parcels, the result being to scatter her parcels all over the pavement. Brendan promptly stooped to recover them from among the feet of the passers-by and restore them to her
arms, but her ladyship's temper was not satisfied.  "I'd have you know," she declared angrily, "that my husband's a detective, and, if he was here, he'd take ye!"  This was too much for Brendan, who after all had done his best. "Ma'am," said he, "I don't doubt it for a second. If he took you, he'd take anything."

3.

Brendan Behan told the story of how he got a job in London with a street repair gang. The first job he went to they were down in a hole singing Happy Birthday around the foreman. "Is it the foreman's birthday?" asked Brendan.
"No, Brendan. It's the third anniversary of the hole."

To be updated soon, so click  here to return to homepage!