Dave's Movie Reviews

Welcome to my movie review site!  I have been reviewing movies for nearly four years, so it’s about time I changed the look of my website.  Unfortunately, I don’t have time to separate the many reviews into some sort of order.  They simply appear in the order in which I saw them, with the latest movies appearing, rather annoyingly, at the bottom of the page.  I update at least once a week – I can’t get enough movies!  So please keep coming back, I love inflicting, I mean sharing my views on movies with everyone.  If you have any comments, direct them to Dizzy Dave.  One thing I think is worth noting is that I live in New Zealand, so consequently I must wait at least a month for some releases to open here.  For example, Hellboy has been open in America since April ’04.  As I write, Hellboy isn’t due for release here until August 05 2004.  For most movies though, I will be on the ball for the majority of international readers.  Most of the time, I review movies based on a mixture of quality and the enjoyment factor, rather than delving into film school theory.  Because that’s what movies are for … entertainment.  Enjoy the reviews!

The Movies!

 

Antz (PG) 7/10 - Brilliantly animated, and a rather engaging story. This is easily better than the sappy Bug's Life. You would not believe how long I had been waiting to see this film.

Can't Hardly Wait (M) 6/10 - Teen flick which is kewl and hip, but predictable. Jennifer Love-Hewitt, you are a babe.

Rush Hour (M) 7/10 - Jackie Chan again rocks the film world with a nonsense action film concentrating on the action, and the laughs, thanks to Chris Tucker.

Enemy Of The State (M) 5/10 - Will Smith action/thriller that is a lil unbelievable, but wraps itself up nicely.

The Siege (M) 5/10 - Standard political thriller with cardboard characters, not so cardboard acting though.

The Prince Of Egypt (G) 7/10 - Beautifully animated, with extra special songs. Its artistry is amazing. I saw this one Sat night with all my friends. It capped off a rather enjoyable day.

Dark City (M) 8/10 - Superb oddball film that twists and turns. It shows the audience a world that is intriguing and puzzling, and it's best to see it not knowing anything more than that...

A Bug's Life (G) 6/10 - The wonder guys at Pixar brings us, this. Dripping with putrid Disney gloop and not a patch on the CG world that was Toy Story. The first film I took my niece and nephew to, maybe my last as well. It's funny though.

Dr. Dolittle (PG) 6/10 - Eddie Murphy comedy, s'okay really. Nice and fuzzy too. I saw this as part of the "Cans" film festival run by the Salvation Army.

A Perfect Murder (M) 7/10 - Michael Douglas is the plotting husband wanting his wife dead. I saw this with my dad who said it was like a film he saw as a youngster, only it was better then he said.

Blade (R18) 7/10 - I hadn't come across this as a comic, I'm glad of it too. Usually when I know a comic and a film is made of it I hate the film. But I liked this, OTT violence and Wesley Snipes, you are d'man.

Saving Private Ryan (R15) 6/10 - Heresy you must be saying. This is a good film; I just found it very disturbing. It made its point very early on so all I was left with was the story, which was very lame. Still, it ~did~ make a point; I'll give it that.

The Truman Show (M) 7/10 - Wow, who'd have thought Jim Carrey could act? I was so impressed with this film; it shows some creative thought and a real love of film story.

There's Something About Mary (R16) 7/10 - This film gets away with so much and is hilarious. You have to watch it with friends, definitely!

Small Soldiers (PG) 7/10 - The special effects were flawless, which is surprising for a kids film. I saw this in Porirua with Shaun and a few others. It evokes a real sense of kewl though; I loved all those lil vehicles the soldiers built. Rock on!

Armageddon (M) 7/10 - The second film to come out about an asteroid going to hit earth. Others hated it, I loved it, action all the way. Plus with that gorgeous girl too, Liv Tyler.

X-Files (M) 5/10 - Disappointing this one. I went in expecting Chris Carter to direct, but some other guy did, and he didn't seem to capture the "feel" of the TV series, which is something I loved about series. Sure the paranoia thing was all fine and dandy, but when it doesn't feel like the X-Files universe, sorry, not happening.

Mortal Kombat Annihilation (M) 3/10 - Ouch. I was expecting so much from this and got zip in return. Substandard fight sequences and murky and bothersome SFX. Its only saving grace is the kicking soundtrack and the inclusion of the robot warriors.

Deep Impact (M) 6/10 - The first asteroid flick, and this one gives it the political and ethical spin. I wasn't too impressed with the SFX, in parts I thought I was watching ID4 all over again.

Jackie Brown (R18) 7/10 - Quentin Tarantino makes some bizarre films, but they are always well crafted, beautifully filmed and chock full of humour, this being a perfect example of his craft.

Mr. Magoo (PG) 4/10 - Somebody, please stop Leslie Nielson from making films. So boring, but I guess I wasn't its target audience.

Scream 2 (R16) 6/10 - The inevitable sequel, but this time around a more engrossing story, you just have to give up on the scares and chills. Still, I'll give it kudos for the scene where Neve is trapped in the car with the unconscious killer.

Starship Troopers (R16) 7/10 - I only had to see the trailer with Blur's Song2 playing, WAHOO! This film seriously rocked. It had 6 out of 7 things that I want in a movie: naked sexy girls, great SFX, spaceships, aliens, action and full on gore. What’s the missing vital ingredient? Intelligence. But in a film this kewl, it doesn't need or want it.

Kiss The Girls (R18) 6/10 - A twisted kidnapping/whodunit with a nice, but predictable ending. As always Morgan Freeman puts in a fine performance, but truth be told, I don't remember much more than the spectacular stunt in it.

Alien Resurrection (R16) 5/10 - Like so many, I was disappointed with this. Mainly I guess coz I think this idea should have stayed with just two movies, rather than spawning Aliens³ and now this. I liked the sequence where Ripley finds all the genetic screw-ups the scientists made crossing her DNA with alien DNA. Other than that, and the really stupid alien at the end, this was just boring. I mean it was just so silly.

The Devil's Advocate (R18) 7/10 - A very interesting concept, and quite an original story too. Keanu Reeves does a nice performance for once, and for a courtroom drama type film, this had me really interested. Mainly with all the satanic overtones, the final plot twists are quite extraordinary. Plus some hard out sex scenes too!

Tomorrow Never Dies (M) 6/10 - Bond never dies also, now I'm beginning to think that is a pity. Sean Connery will always be Bond, no matter what anyone ever thinks. Not to say this is a bad film, it's just a polished up revamp of the same old Bond formula. The villain gets his quite nicely though.

Titanic (M) 6/10 - I was generous in giving this a 6. It gets it purely on a technical merit, in that it wasn't completely crap. The story was puerile, I wanted something with a bit more bite, but it pulled off all of the sinking quite nicely. Some SFX stand out like a sore thumb, the only standout thing in the film was the score, the score, which does NOT include a certain song that got thrashed on the radios around the world.

Spawn (M) 7/10 - This one, for me, was like Blade, in that I didn't know that a comic book existed until the movie was previewed. But, I did the background reading on it, and this is an interesting concept. The movie was actually very good, for a comic book action film. The only stupid bit was their interpretation of what the devil looks like. And what about Clown! He rocked. As did the Violator.

Air Force One (M) 6/10 - Yet another Hollywood action/disaster film. This time Harrison Ford takes the controls, alongside my favourite actor, Gary Oldman, who dies far too quickly for my liking. Anyway, solid action, but just another action film really.

Event Horizon (R18) 4/10 - I can't quite remember why I went to see this, the possibility of seeing a sci-fi horror film, or just an excuse to see an R18 film. Either way, I should have saved my money. It’s gory but pointless. Sam Neill was so unbelievable as the evil genius wanting to take a hapless crew to hell. It gets its 4 for some above average SFX and one funny line.

Contact (M) 8/10 - I saw this with my mum, dad and sister. It was simply astonishing. This was a movie that made me actually care about the people, their mission, this I knew because, hmm, actually I can't say coz it would reveal a big plot secret. Suffice to say there is a threat to the mission which the audience finds out before the main characters do, and I said "Oh no!" out loud. This is one to see, either on the big screen or with Dolby Digital 5.1.

Double Team (M) 5/10 - I have kind of wanted Jean-Claude Van Damme to make a wicked martial arts film for so long now, but again, this wasn't it. It’s just some silly excuse to blow up the Coliseum.

The Full Monty (M) 8/10 - Independent and proud, and English too. Brilliant and even the lads can get in there and laugh! I practically wet myself watching this. The scene to watch is the dole queue. Magic.

Conspiracy Theory (M) 5/10 - What a conspiracy. Not. This is a silly, silly film. Maybe it was because I wasn't watching too closely. This girl sitting next to me kept making moves, which I wasn't too impressed by, so I kept fidgeting away from her and so didn't see all of the film. But hey. No great loss.

Men In Black (M) 7/10 - Like a lot of films made lately, I guess the film makers only really saw the dollars they could get from a SFX film about aliens. It was quirky, yes, but it never clicked. And for a SFX film, its SFX weren't brilliant. Well, let me explain. Yes, the aliens looked great and moved nicely, but they would only have worked if the rest of the scenery and actors were SFX too. See? They were very obviously SFX.

Hercules (G) 5/10 - Disney just never seems to give up, does it? This could have been so kewl, Olympic Gods and Goddesses, all displaying courage and strength in their fields. But no. This was a sappy "hero" story that was just silly. I know it was made for kids, but WHY was it made for kids? Can't Disney make anything but kids films? Is some intelligence and creative film making a lil too much to ask for?

Face/Off (R18) 7/10 - John Woo's third American directing credit, and this one certainly is easily as good as any of the films he made in Hong Kong. It had the Hollywood glitz, sure, but when it came down to action it excelled, and surprisingly the acting was brilliant. Nicholas Cage and John Travolta were amazing in this.

Batman & Robin (PG) 4/10 - I think it must be said the Batman franchise is over, unless the directing helm is given back to Tim Burton, and quickly. With every new film, stranger things seem to happen to Gotham City, to the Batmobile and Batman himself. Why all the changes? And please, don't even get me started on the lame story, or some of the cheesiest lines I've heard in a long time.

The Lost World (M) 6/10 - Just on a sideline, I saw the original Jurassic Park in Dublin, Ireland, way back in 1993. Cue 1997, and me sitting in a darkened theatre in Movieland 4. I couldn't believe it; they had remade Jurassic Park, but with some slight differences i.e. some new characters, a different island and TWO T-rex's. Wow. This movie only starts revving up towards the end, when it becomes a lil like King Kong. But that only lasts 20-30 mins. If the whole movie had been like that, it would have rocked, but no, t'was not to be.

Con Air (R18) 7/10 - Once again, Nicholas Cage puts in a fine performance in an action film. Of course, it goes all OTT by the end, but certainly takes the audience on a frenetic ride. And it never loses its sense of humour, which is always a bonus.

The Fifth Element (M) 8/10 - Bruce Willis gives a standard action performance in a brilliant sci-fi action film. French to the last, and with an excellent score, watch for Chris Tucker as the radio announcer. And once again, Gary Oldman is so squirmingly cool; you just love to hate him.

Return Of The Jedi Special Edition (PG) 8/10 - Rather than rate this as the "special edition", I'll rate it as if it were brand new, never before seen. This applies to the rest of the trilogy. Stunning, the mere fact that it creates a universe of appealing characters, planets, droids, spaceships and baddies is the reason this is so popular. Wraps up the trilogy very nicely, the end battles (yes battles, for there are three fought simultaneously) will have you on the edge of your seat.

Scream (R16) 8/10 - The original, and by far, they don't come much scarier than this. I doubt even the hardened males I saw this with didn't at some point scream. We have needed a good teenslasher for while now, and Wes Craven delivers the goods on every level.

Dantes Peak (M) 5/10 - Yawn. This is yet another disaster film with Pierce Brosnan doing a subdued Bond performance with Linda Hamilton in her first main stream performance since T2. Sad really, this is a pretty poor picture. I'm sure if I tried, I could have spoken all the characters lines for them, even without knowing the script.

James & The Giant Peach (PG) 8/10 - Now, in giving this such a high score, I'm going to be quite scathing about this film, even though it is a kids film. Wrong! I doubt Roald Dahl would have intended his book to be made like this. The book was far too dark and nasty to be a kid’s book per say, but something was lost in the translation from written to filmed form. Hello? The aunties DIED when the peach ran them over. Yes, heaven forbid, they died. And, what’s with the rhino? James was never afraid of the rhino; the rhino was a typical Dahl way of creating a scenario. It was mentioned once in the first few pages in the book, and NEVER again after that. Having said all that, if you ignore these small misdemeanours, this film is a very entertaining piece of work.

The Empire Strikes Back Special Edition (PG) 8/10 - The most revealing of the three movies, and certainly the darkest. Like the others, needs to be seen either on the big screen or with a good home theatre.

Star Wars Special Edition (PG) 8/10 - Good vs. Evil, the ultimate in conflict and excitement, this is one that has warmed the hearts and minds of two generations of fantasy fans. For its time, it was cutting edge and certainly revived a flagging movie industry.

Metro (M) 5/10 - Eddie Murphy takes it seriously for a change, but this climaxes far too early and then when it does end, I didn't really care what happened.

Mars Attacks (M) 8/10 - Tim Burton quirks again. ID4 eat your heart out, and weep for being the lumbering monster you are. A whole cast of Hollywood's finest in the biggest send up of 50's sci-fi ever. The SFX are only average, but in terms of the colourful world that only Tim Burton can create, this is amazing. To be noted is Jack Nicholson's performance as both the President and a Las Vegas hustler.

Fierce Creatures (M) 6/10 The sequel to A Fish Called Wanda, although not quite. The entire cast from the first film returns except now they play different characters where the situation has them trying to save a zoo from being closed down by revamping the docile nature of most of the inhabitants, hence the title. A few laughs, but mostly obvious.

Chain Reaction (M) 6/10 Keanu, again. I kind of lost the plot in this one, mainly coz it was so contrived and very confusing. It's a 6 and not a 5 because of that kewl explosion that Keanu escapes from on his bike.

Daylight (M) 5/10 Sylvester Stallone does the action thing once again, playing, once again, the reluctant hero in a rather sticky mess indeed. I remember taking my then girlfriend to this, must have been one of those times I guess.

Dragonheart (M) 7/10 There are some that argue that this film would have been nothing without A; that amazing SFX, coz the dragon is the only SFX in the film, and B; Sean Connery as its voice. Now, I say, not so. This is a very touching story, and some not so bad acting either. I'm really beginning to warm to Dennis Quaid a lot, and this certainly helps my perception of him. Plus its music is brilliant. It’s romantic yet so sad. Plus, for a medieval action film, it sports some very eccentric and funny characters.

First Contact (PG) 7/10 Okay let me say something straight out: I'm not a Trekkie. I swear allegiance to Star Wars, and will never renounce that. Having said that though, I will watch Star Trek, mainly coz it's sci-fi set in space with aliens and spaceships. And this film was the one that turned me around. I was always bored with the older ST films, but this totally rocked. The most full on battle scene I've seen in a long while, and a very kewl story too. Plus I loved the scene where Picard is fighting the Borg on the surface of the Enterprise and slices off arms left, right and centre.

The Frighteners (M) 7/10 Peter Jackson is quite simply, a god. He is up there with the other people I call a god, but so far he's the only film director. And what a director. Who'd thought it eh? To see his early stuff, like Bad Taste and Brain Dead, who'd have thought this genius could have made this amazing piece of work. Okay, I was the doubting Thomas, but I'm a different guy now. When you consider, this was made on a budget more than four times smaller than Titanic, the results are incredible, all thanks to NZ ingenuity I guess. Some very nice SFX, quirk some characters and a plot that twists more than a snake on hot coals.

Space Jam (G) 6/10 If rated as a cartoon, this is brilliant, but seeing as it's a “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” coming of age sorta update, this is only okay. For all the tenseness of the big game, the ending sucked. Really, well and truly.

101 Dalmatians (G) 6/10 I don't know, I think about this time in my life I went to see far too many kiddy films. If I remember rightly I was still with my ex at the time, so that's probably why. Well, this was okay-ish, but, like so many things, it was the little things that annoyed me, like their poor excuse for a video game. Like anyone would actually think a game like that would sell is beyond me. But then I guess only hardened gamers like myself would see that.

Jingle All The Way (PG) 5/10 Arnie does the comedy thing again. Only I figure he must have seen how much the first 3/4 sucked so he made the end full on action, certainly up to his usual action standards, although toned down for the kiddy audience.

The Nutty Professor (M) 7/10 Eddie Murphy should stick with this sort of material, comedy really is his forte. Scene to watch, Eddie's alter ego in the bar abusing the stand up comic.

Barbwire (M) 2/10 Pamela, dear, dear Pamela. For GODS SAKE WOMAN. I doubt even you could adequately explain why on earth this film was made apart for some cheap thrills at seeing your tits. OH MY GOD. This is a terrible film; I cannot impress that enough on you all.

Maximum Risk (M) 5/10 This was a dark time for film lovers everywhere, one of darkness, putz and ..  this. Its title suggests something else, but really, it's Hollywood doing the same old thing with different people. 2 points for some okay action and a further three for a great sex scene. On the sink! Kewl.

Othello (M) 7/10 Okay, so I studied the play at college, so I probably had an advantage when it came to watching this film. Kenneth Brannagh has out done himself, again. I find it hard to rate Shakespeare that has been turned to the screen, or for that matter Shakespeare in its written form and on stage. It's wonderful literature, but as a guy of the 90's I wish he hadn't written in riddles so often.

The Arrival (M) 6/10 Charlie Sheen (sorry, Charles Sheen) plays it straight for a change, and this is okay. It came slightly after ID4, and instead of the epic invasion scenario that ID4 presented, this was more paranoid, ooky spooky. Bizarre aliens indeed but at least I kept a straight face during it.

Matilda (PG) 5/10 Danny Devito bought the rights to this and then proceeded to do the same as nearly every other director who has made a movie based on a Roald Dahl book. Removed all trace of nastiness and in its place put saccharine. NO! This is not what Dahl is about. There has been only one man who understood what Dahl was on about and that was Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka. Everyone else, sorry, try again.

Now & Then (PG) 5/10 I got the weekend off work to spend time with my then girlfriend, and this is how we do it. THIS. A stupid chick flick. Not even a funny stupid chick flick.

Eraser (R16) 7/10 Yes! This is what I like to see Arnie doing. Solid, action flicks with dead on effects and some artful direction. The science of those guns had me a lil "Yeh right", but the rest of it was awesome. It wasn't perfect, like the trip in to the alligator den, I don't think so. But hey, it's fun.

Hunchback Of Notre Dame (G) 5/10 Urgh. Disney at its, I don't think it's even a word, more a sound I make, when I'm both disgusted and disappointed. Which is what I was with this film. Why WHY WHY?? Why must there be a love interest? Huh? Why is that? Why couldn't the film be about Quasimodo, and just Quasimodo? I don't give a damn about the kids, this was never supposed to be a kid’s film and all you Disney Dicks know it.

Independence Day (M) 6/10 One of the most highly anticipated films of the decade and certainly one of the biggest disappointments. Big budget special effects sure, but I didn't buy any of the plot, not an inch. I mean, c'mon, like you're able to shutdown an alien defence system by uploading in to it a virus written on human computers. Jeez, as IF! And would it have hurt so much to let the aliens land and have a land war with them? Coupled with that brilliant air battle, it would have rocked. On a side note, when this was released in NZ on video, it had its rating dropped to a PG - and as far as I can tell, all they had to do, to do this, was edit some of the scene where the plane near the beginning flies into the exhaust of one of the alien spaceships, incinerating those inside. The video only shows the plane exploding, and not the kewl interior shot of those poor bastards getting fried. This film was the first I saw in the new, 4th theatre with the bigger screen and digital sound.  Further side note: Now that ID4 has been released on Region 4 DVD, I was pleased to note that the above mangled scene has been restored to its horrifying former glory.  The film has also been slightly extended .. with “character building” moments.  At least this is what I think they’re supposed to be.

Phenomenon (PG) 7/10 I saw this quite a number of times actually, why I don't know. It's a very engaging story, and John Travolta is quite exceptional, a very sad film all up though, in the true sense of the word.

Striptease (R16) 4/10 No, really, this is a comedy, uh huh. That's exactly what was going on in the studio exec's minds. Robert Patrick is actually quite good as the arsehole husband of Demi Moore, but so far as the rest of the film goes, Jesus, this is bad.

Trainspotting (R18) 8/10 Yes! This is one exceptional film. Disgusting and disturbing, yet life lessons all over. And bloody funny too. Ewan McGregor’s first outing to my knowledge, but he has got some very interesting things lined up for him now.

The Rock (R16) 8/10 It was about this time, 1996-97,that some really good action films were released, this being one of them. Certainly, there's only one-way to describe it, it ROCKS! I'm not sure what it is exactly, but it just does. The score is very good, and it has passable SFX, but I think it's the chemistry between Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery that really makes it. Plus the action, and one seriously kewl chase scene.

Flipper (G) 4/10 Boredom; that is the only reason why I saw this. Why did I bother? I was more bored watching it. Big YAWN.  Spot the pre-fame Elijah Wood.

Muppet Treasure Island (G) 7/10 Muppets, yeh, this was a good film. It lacked something, but definitely the Muppets strike again, and do it with style. And a dash of humour.

Mission: Impossible (M) 7/10 Although I was a lil perplexed watching this (the plot is very tricky) the last hour was one big rush, especially the final chase scene. Wow, the best use of musical score in a long time.

Twister (M) 7/10 It's funny how things turn out isn't it? My lil sister dragged me along to see this, I wasn't especially bothered, but it turned out she was onto a winner. Some very nice SFX, but for me, this isn't what the film was about or what made it good. I just loved the atmosphere of actually chasing a twister along seldom-used roads with all your friends and colleagues burning rubber beside you.  It’s the camaraderie that really brings this film alive.   This is another movie that gets my thumbs up in terms of its score.

Down Periscope (M) 5/10 A rather, ho hum sorta comedy. Nothing especially good about it, or especially bad, just yeh, average.

Heat (R18) 6/10 The only movie I have fallen asleep in. I guess that's a lil unkind. It's a good film, just it takes three hours to get where it's going, and in the end, that's just one dead bad guy. Very kewl hold up scene at the beginning, but yeh, very confusing and long.

Mortal Kombat (M) 7/10 When I first saw this, I was disappointed. Where was all the gore? I asked. Plus it seemed so choppy and badly directed that I just couldn't understand what went wrong. I sat back and watched it recently, and I realised that Paul Anderson had actually made a very good film. It's a plus that there is a very controlled use of gore. Its emphasis is the martial arts, which I failed to notice through my anger, is actually superb for a Hollywood film. The SFX, okay, they aren't brilliant, obvious more like, but very well used. Even now it has flaws, acting being the biggest. But the final climatic fight is so well filmed; it gets me hyped every time I see it. The only thing I was pissed off about, and am still pissed off about is how Lui Kang dispatched Shang Tsung. Uppercut I said!! Fireball my arse. Oh yeh, and how about that Johnny Cage? Pretty fly fighter for a white guy! One of those rare movies that still makes me say "Ouch!" out loud.

Broken Arrow (M) 7/10 John Woo gives the Hollywood scene a second try and does it very well. Easily shows off why he is such a prolific action director. John Travolta and Christian Slater play their roles of baddie and goodie, respectively, with a sense of ease and flair. And it has some kewl one-liners, and its violence is actually so intense and extreme I was surprised this was only an M.

Virtuosity (R16) 6/10 Spot the New Zealander! Russell Crowe plays a virtual criminal who escapes and wreaks havoc upon an unsuspecting world followed relentlessly by Denzel Washington. I don't remember a lot, just that it was pretty good.

Jumanji (PG) 7/10 Robin Williams does these sorta fantasy films so easily, it's intriguing to wonder how he does it. It’s funny, scary, good family fare. For us serious types, nice but obvious SFX. But you gotta love that rhino!

Babe (G) 7/10 The talking pig that is just so cute. Well, yeh. I think the thing I remember most about this one are the singing mice. And can you believe this got nominated for best film? Against Braveheart no less.

Goldeneye (M) 7/10 The first Bond film I've ever seen in a theatre. I saw this with most of my immediate family, and yeh, it was pretty good. Anyone spot the New Zealand references? Well, it was directed by a New Zealander, so there! I saw this the night that we had a huge fire in the hills that wiped out most of the pine forest.

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (M) 6/10 As the case with most Hollywood sequels, this is quite a way behind the original. A few funny parts, but nothing like Ace take one.

Toy Story (G) 9/10 Okay, so it's a kid’s film. This I can deal with because, it doesn't treat itself like one. Way too funny for kids. And so, we move on to why this was such a huge hit. It was the worlds first fully computer generated feature film, and it was so stunningly brilliant I was lost for words during most of it, and as for the climatic scene, kids films shouldn't normally have your heart skipping a beat, but this one did.

Assassins (M) 5/10 Antonio Banderas and Sylvester Stallone duke it out in a game of high-tech weaponry and silly one-liners. I saw this only out of interest coz the director, Richard Donner, directed one of my all time favourites, The Goonies.

Seven (R16) Although this was later changed to R18 9/10 There is only one word for the person responsible for this: sick. Utterly, utterly depraved are three more. Yet, it is a brilliant film and the trick is that it's shocking content serves not only to rattle the eyeballs, but to draw us in too. I didn't realise it until after, that I could have been wrath too. I mean, imagine finding out that, no, can't tell you that. That would reveal far too much. It loses 1 point for the lame acting courtesy of Brad Pitt at the end – “What’s in the box?”

Judge Dredd (M) 5/10 I have mentioned before how I hate seeing films that were originally comics, especially comics that I know really well. So far, I have only had the misfortune to see one film based on a comic that I knew well, this. Maybe the reason I hated it so much was because this wasn't anything like the comics, not even slightly. I read up about this, and they changed everything about the world is Judge Dredd to fit a "Hollywood" image. God, no! And the director, Danny Cannon, I feel didn't appreciate what he was dealing with. He chose the lamest plot to film; he even specifically stated that there be none of the Dark Judges in it, or any reference to fantasy at all. Jesus, this is what Judge Dredd was all about! And don't even get me started on Sylvester Stallone, who didn't have a clue what Judge Dredd was. I'll tell you what he wasn’t, Rambo with a futuristic bike. Coz that's exactly how Stallone played it. There are so many things wrong with this film, I can't write too much more; I’ll just get myself all worked up.

Species (R16) 5/10 Okay, so I tentatively sit down to watch a movie my friends have recommended. Okay, an alien is recreated from DNA sequence beamed to earth from some godforsaken world I can live with that. But does the alien have to try to take over? Ho hum SFX, but goddamn is that woman fine!

Power Rangers (PG) 5/10 Once again, I saw this coz I love martial arts. Yes, I watched the TV show too, but coz, correct, I love martial arts. Even if the TV show was more martial arse. Anyway! The film! Yes, terrible really. Shit SFX (and I don't swear normally), limp acting and a plot they must have read off a Weetbix packet. But as far as the fighting goes, yeh, adequate.

Street Fighter (M) 4/10 So, they thought it would be a good idea to make a movie based on the fab video game, Street Fighter. Okay, show me what you can do. But then, it proceeded to show me what it couldn’t do. Act, being the one huge thing it couldn't do. Nor could it tell a very believable, or even exciting story. It could fight in a "Check out this move, guys!" kind of way, but really, it was pretty poor. Jean-Claude should hang his head in shame. I think the thing that screwed this up, was the story. For a start it was concentrating on the wrong principle protagonist, since when was SF about Guile? It wasn’t, he wasn't even in the original game. Every SF fan will tell you, SF is about Ryu and to a smaller degree, Ken. If you want to see a better version of SF, see the Manga version that the Japanese did. Complex story, yes, but beats the pants off this stinking hog pile any day of the week.

Interview With A Vampire (R) 8/10 The very first film I ever saw in the Movieland complex. And what a beauty it was. It's all but a distant memory now, but it sure as hell made me sit up and pay attention.

Little Rascals (G) 6/10 This was so cute! But yeh, kids film.

Pocahontas (G) 5/10 The absolute worst Disney film I have ever had the misfortune to see. Yuck, it really was. The fresh pizzazz of Lion King was totally absent here. Sigh. Mind you, I wasn't expecting it to be anything but that.

Casper (PG) 6/10 Likeable, and the SFX are nice. Saccharine ending though.

The Jungle Book (PG) 7/10 Well, my memory takes a walk with this one. It was entertaining, so I guess that means it was all right.

Die Hard With A Vengeance (M) 7/10 Trust me to only ever see the third movie in the theatres. And boy, this one went off. One of the kewlest rides (coz it is really, this is no movie Jim) I've been to, and certainly the one with the most bangs for you buck.

Under Siege 2 (M) 6/10 This came out about the same time as Die Hard 3, and so I pretty much saw both in quick succession. So how does it rate? It's good. Action-a-plenty, and Steven Seagal gives a good performance. And the fight he has with one of the main bad guys rocks. It loses it with the OTT end, but yeh, I can dig it.

The Mask (PG) 6/10 This was reasonably funny, had some nice SFX and Jim Carrey played a likeable character. But most of the points this film has scored it got for including Cameron Diaz as the leading lady. Wow.

Dumb & Dumber (M) 7/10 It's crude, in parts bordering on obscene and sometimes all you can say is "Oh my God." But it's so incredibly funny, yet so lame too. A better vehicle for Jim Carrey's persona than Ace I think.

Stepmom (M) 6/10 Would you believe that Chris Columbus, who directed this, directed Gremlins too?? From the sublime to the ridiculous indeed. Saccharine to the end, but very sad, and yes, I'm not too macho to admit I cried.

Species 2 (R18) 2/10 Oh dear lord. Very, very poor. A plot that was tripe, they even forgot crucial elements of the plot towards the end, like the device in Eve's head that was supposed to kill her if she left the compound. She escapes and, she doesn't die. Crap SFX, lame acting; it’s no wonder Geiger disowned it.  It’s only real redeeming value is the amount of soft porn on offer.

Elizabeth (R16) 6/10 I'm not normally one to watch historical films, but this certainly was one fine piece of work. There were a lot of subtleties that I failed to pick up on during the screening that my mother told me about, I guess if I knew my English history better I could have got more out of this. But it was entertaining to say the least.

Hamlet (M) 8/10 This was a fine film, even if Shakespeare still confuses the hell out of me. I saw this in Wellington, in the revamped Embassy theatre. With the new sound system, it was incredible.

Blues Brothers 2000 (M) 6/10 Blues Brothers 2000, well, same story really as the first one, just with "more".

Hard Rain (M) 6/10 Yeh, kewl action film with Christian Slater. Very good music too. You can’t go wrong when the bad guy is played by Morgan Freeman. Some great set pieces and lots of mindless action.

The Borrowers (G) 6/10 Cute, nice SFX too. Um, cute. Yeh.

The Replacement Killers (R16) 6/10 Chow Yun Fat in his first American film outing. Yeh, it's not bad either. Finished quite quickly, or did I just fall asleep and miss bits? Who knows? But the ending kicks arse.

Psycho (M) 7/10 Not the original, but a remake, shot for shot. Almost, so I've been told. It lost something from going from black and white to colour, but it was still scary.

Shakespeare In Love (M) 8/10 You've heard me harp on about how I can't follow Shakespeare very well in movies, well lo and behold, a movie based on his life, well one with a few romantic licenses taken of course, is actually really accessible. And indeed one that is also truly funny to behold.

The Matrix (M) 8/10 I've lost count of the number of times I've seen this movie. I simply love it. Keanu Reeves is back with a vengeance, and really out did himself, indeed many other fine action heroes. This guy seriously kicked arse. And the film? Astonishing. Visually, it blew me away. The effects never once erred, the martial arts, well, these guys really came to the task of making fight scenes that looked real and cool. And for once, the story was great. It wobbled near the end, but all in all, absolutely brilliant.

The Other Sister (PG) 6/10 Suddenly you go from seeing The Matrix to seeing this. Well, it's okay, so far as romance goes, but that's about it. Some fine acting though.

What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted? (R16) 7/10 The long awaited sequel to Once Were Warriors, and boy it knocks a punch. Some people have said it's a lot more violent than OWW, but personally, I think it's a lot tamer. Except the end, but I guess when you see it, you'll know what I mean. Jake becomes a figure of respect I found empathy with him. So I guess, when a character can turn full circle like Jake does, a movie has done well.

Notting Hill (PG) 7/10 Cute, I guess you could say. Hilarious in parts too, and perhaps a little too sentimental. But Hugh Grant, heck, I liked the guy in this. Along with the rest of the cast, jeez, even Julia Roberts.

10 Things I Hate About You (PG) 7/10 Wow, tis the season for Shakespeare. This is a 90's spin on Taming Of The Shrew, and well, yeh, it's pretty good.

Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace (PG) 5/10 Uh oh, something is not right I hear you say. Shouldn't that have an extra five points? No, absolutely not. Technically, yes, it scores. But the technicalities are what bring this whole movie down. George Lucas wields his CGI creations like a kid who has found his dad's gun. Scary to imagine that almost 95% of this film was "built" by computers. God, in places, most places I might add, this could have been Star Wars Animated. One of my pet hates, was that everything looked fake. Jar-Jar Binks did not annoy me as much as I had hoped, but hey, I've only seen it twice, maybe the hate thing grows with time. The story, yes well, try again I think. Trade Federations of all things, and *fanfare* a trade embargo. So straight away I was bored. I want ACTION! Ya know? Like the original movie, wow stolen Death Star plans. But no, trade embargo it is. Did I care about anything else? Not really, the "new" characters frankly, I couldn't care less about them. I say ditch the new look and CGI, get back to making films that grab us because they ARE real. Not ones that TRY to be real. Ya know? Make the models, build the sets (every part of them I might add) GET SOME CHARACTERS WE ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT. This is a cock up in monumental proportions. Way, way, way over hyped.

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (R16) 8/10 I have seen many movies with my brother over the years, be it on the big screen or on video. But this is the first time he's ever said a movie was depraved before I did. Which is what this movie is. Utterly, utterly depraved. Maybe it addresses issues of the day in the South Park style, but then again maybe it's just one big piss-take. Who knows? All I know is that I laughed my arse off. And surprisingly, the music kicks arse too.

The Corrupter (R18) 5/10 Long winded, confusing with little to interest me at all, I did it for you Chow Yun Fat! But no, it was only okay.

Life Is Beautiful (PG) 8/10 Fantastic movies, like this one, don't need me to bullshit on about them. Its greatness speaks for itself. Brilliant.

Scarfies (R16) 7/10 Quite an interesting Kiwi film, bordering on disgusting. A nice discussion into the human mind under pressure.

Runaway Bride (PG) 4/10 Romance films are wasted on me. So, this didn't get me going at all.

Tarzan (PG) 7/10 Disney took a brave step away from their usual formula here, sort of. Okay, so there are talking animals still, a bad guy, a damsel in distress, a couple of comic relief characters and of course, the buff hero. There is only a tiny portion of singing in it, and the way it's used is very appropriate. But, something still didn't grab me. It had coolness going for it, I mean those awesome rides through the jungle were intense, but it still was left grasping. I like the Deep Canvas technique Disney have employed here, but something was missing. I guess I didn't hate the bad guy enough, or at all. And why couldn't Tarzan have killed him? Sure, there was blood and violence, but it still pandered to it's supposed kiddie audience.

Deep Blue Sea (M) 6/10 Genre crossers are the all the rage, and now we have this, a movie crosser. And gosh darn it, it almost pulls it off too. Imagine if Aliens had been done with Jaws and you get the idea. Basically, the story offers no surprises, but the SFX are pretty neat, especially the life size shark models. Apart from some tense moments, all the excitement comes from guessing who's going to get ripped to pieces next. And believe me, that's no easy task. But, I will say this:  star status is nothing to go by ...

The Haunting (M) 7/10 Even if you don't like horrors, see this movie. You'll instantly fall in love with the house. It is simply gorgeous. But, that's not to say the movie isn't good, far from it. It scares the way a good horror should, with suspense and using the audience’s imagination against itself. The last 20 minutes are a lil CGI heavy, but really this is a good scary movie that has been beautifully filmed.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (M) 6/10 Anyone who has seen the original Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery, will tell you it is by far the better of the two. This has a few laughs too, but Mike Myers was struggling a bit I think.

American Pie (R16) 8/10 I was sceptical about this one. It looked like another "teen flick". But whoa, it was way more than that. It was the funniest movie I have seen in a long time. I was pissing myself almost all the way through. But better than that too, solid story.

Wing Commander (PG) 4/10 I once played the game Wing Commander, and funnily, the movie suffered from exactly the same thing the game did. Some excellent visuals of spaceships, but ultimately it didn't engage me at all and bored me to sleep. Literally, I fell asleep in this movie.

The Mummy (M) 7/10 Or Indiana Jones goes to Egypt. It has that sorta feel, that sorta story and those sorta SFX. An IJ sorta hero, an IJ sorta heroine and an assortment of IJ sorta bad guys. And it even has an IJ sorta ending. The only thing that isn't IJ is the quality of the above. After all, it's only sorta IJ.

Payback (R18) 6/10 Not quite what I was expecting. I wanted Mel Gibson to be in there for 95% of the movie kicking arse like only Mel Gibson can, but, it was a bit slower than that. And its violence was far too real and vicious to be considered "action". And its premise was a lil flimsy. But, it entertained, I'll give it that.

Mr. Nice Guy (M) 6/10 I have seen many, many Jackie Chan films, but this is the first one I've seen on the big screen. And it gets a 6 because the stunts and the fight sequences are brilliant. You just have to mumble when asked about acting, story, direction etc, etc. Directed by Samo Hung, who cameos in it too.

Wild Wild West (PG) 6/10 I've heard some people really hack into this film, but I quite liked it. There was something that I couldn't put my finger on that keeps it from being a truly great film, but it's still very entertaining. Whoa, and you gotta love that spider!

Toy Story 2 (G) 9/10 So far as sequels goes, this IS how they should be done. I knew that the animation was going to be brilliant, and I wasn't let down. What I was concerned with was could they pull off another story? By gum, they can, and they did. At times, it was just too good for the kiddie audience that it was supposedly aimed at. Me thinks the kids merely marvelled at the pretty colours, I was roaring with laughter, stricken with fear or brimming over with sadness. The full spectrum no less. It had everything, comedy (very adult I might add), drama, well okay, kiddie drama and don't forget action as only Toy Story knows how. Go see this, and be a kid again.

The Blair Witch Project (R13) 1/10 This is one of those films that is very definitely black and white. You either love it or hate, no in-between. From the score, you'll see I hated it. Okay, so I wasn't fooled by its premise. I was interested to a point; just enough to see what it was all about. But I don't like filmmakers controlling me as an audience member, which is what this film set out to do. It wasn't “let's make an entertaining and well thought out film about a witch”, it was “let's see many people we can get to see this budget as film we're planning”. They've made shitloads of cash off this film. It cost less than the original SW, and we all know that was made on a shoestring budget. It's not a good film in terms of story or plot development. I got so bored of the three students yelling obscenities at one another that I was glad when it was all over. The girls I saw it with were scared all the way through; I was just bored. It could have been scary, but there's only so much you can do with twigs and branches breaking in the distance. I got a lil anxious at the end, but then it ended, so I lost it. Interesting concept, but ultimately just too unwatchable.

Pokemon (G) 4/10 Thought this would be a laugh, I was wrong. Oh my god, they've made a feature length TV show. There wasn't even a lil attempt at making the animation better or even making a decent story, let alone decent action.

The World Is Not Enough (M) 6/10 Another year, another Bond film. And this one is actually quite good. Gorgeous as Bond girl, very clever story and the age old Bond clichés are thankfully, mostly gone. Phew. Solid action and plenty of "Yeh right" OTT stunts.

Sleepy Hollow (M) 8/10 Scary, thrilling, brilliant story, great acting. I was captivated from go to whoa. Gosh, what an awful lot of blood though.

Deuce Bigelow (M) 6/10 Funny, but not as funny as some comedies I've seen recently. I wish the preview hadn't given away so many jokes, but it gets big kudos for piss taking the SFX from The Matrix. Kewlness.

Bicentennial Man (PG) 7/10 Robin Williams plays an android that longs to be human, so much so that he completely changes his robotic body into a synthetic human one. This film spans over 200 years of time, but never drags and always delights, and made me cry. Perhaps a lil too sentimental, but still worth the watch.

Stuart Little (G) 6/10 I guess this film can only be called cute. Maybe if the director had given it a lil more pushing it could have had a really fantastic feel to it, but mostly it was saccharine. Well executed saccharine though. And with some very funny one-liners.

Galaxy Quest (PG) 8/10 This is the kind of film I love to see, a sci-fi that doesn't take itself seriously, and one that has good effects. Tim Allen leads a bunch of dried up actors whose lives revolve around sci-fi conventions, enter real aliens who need their help, and then all bets are off. A very kewl bad guy, kewl monsters, great SFX and a "YEH!!" way to finish off the bad guys.

Scream 3 (R16) 6/10 And so, hopefully, the Scream legend is laid to rest. Okay, so this one can still frighten a lil, as it's meant to, but I don't know, am I meant to compare it to the original? Seeing as how intimately tied together they are? There is a dramatic absence of blood, but a lot of actual violence, especially when someone beats up Sidney. I'll leave that for you to find out.

Erin Brockovich (M) 7/10 I didn't really want to see this film. I just don't dig Julia Roberts at all, but hell, this film actually works, and it's so inspirational. Makes you want to get out there and do something.

The Green Mile (R16) 9/10 This is a beautifully told, and emotionally charged story, about an inmate on death row who performs miracles, and touches the lives of the guards who watch over him. So poignant, and so sad.

Mission: Impossible 2 (M) 7/10 This isn't quite what I expected from the M:I sequel. Sure, it had full on action, um, action, and some more action. And I lost count of how many times Ethan or the baddies were pretending to be each other. In fact, I wasn't altogether convinced with the first half of the film. For one dreadful moment I thought it had made the same mistake that the first film had made, i.e. a difficult plot to follow. But when it became clear that this was JUST a madman wanting to take over the world scenario, I relaxed and let John Woo's always fluid filming wash over me. The last 30 mins is pure adrenaline, and the final 10 mins bordering on euphoric. But I don't think 30 mins of that was worth the 90 mins of ho hum tacked on the start.

Gladiator (R16) 7/10 A huge, vast story, spanning the length and breadth of the Roman Empire. Russell Crowe is inspiring and shows off his versatility with style, becoming a heroic people's man. Effortless effects are totally convincing, apart from some slightly dodgy cut and paste tigers. This is a good film, but not quite great. It has grandeur and class, but I was left hungering for something else. But ultimately, a hugely enjoyable and watchable film.

X-Men (M) 8/10 This is a comic fan's dream. A film that does its source material justice. For me, that was the crucial element. If it didn't totally convince me that these were the X-Men as opposed to people trying to the X-Men, it would be all over. I was worried it could wrong, like how the Batman franchise has been for years now. Too much focus on camp and stupid costumes or what have you. But this, this pulled it off. And not only that, it did it without a dramatic chunk of violence. In fact there are only 3 major fights. There was a significant amount kewlness associated with the fights, rather than the standard punch to the face etc. All the actors were superb, bar one or two lame moments. Hugh Jackman especially was utterly convincing as Wolverine. Brian Singer really did his homework with this, and learnt the mistakes previous comic book adaptations have made. No major characters die, the villains are either incarcerated or, they disappear. We are lead to believe they may have died, but no bodies are seen. As we know, nearly every other comic book movie has killed off the villain at the end (Joker, Riddler, Two-Face, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Rico, Red Skull, Deacon Frost etc). This leaves the door open for a more intense sequel, rather than adapting ourselves to a new villain, only to have them die at the end. Magneto's cause was perhaps flimsy, but all I know is that this film translated the X-Men comic world into film intact. And for that, I'm very happy.

Hollow Man (R16) 5/10 This is a film of stark contrasts. On one hand, we have special effects so incredible you'll be left gaping. But on the other hand we have several cardboard cut out characters and a pretty unimaginative plot. So it's all flash and dazzle and very little substance. Definitely one to watch to watch really. Try to figure out how they made that invisible man work so damn well. The other thing I don't get, why didn't they insist Kevin Bacon wore clothes? I know later on in the film he doesn't want to be seen, but when he is first changed, he struts around the lab naked! Weird.

Shanghai Noon (PG) 7/10 This movie was the one I had been waiting for, for a while now. Partly because the trailer looked promising, and I felt Jackie Chan needed to do some serious apologizing for the last few movies he's made. Boy, this movie is more of a HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME? than an apology. But either way, it rocks. Tried and tested plot and script, but very shiny, and lashings of comic action as only Jackie knows how, and even a bit of serious action too. Big old fun and thumbs up. And wow, Lucy Liu. Drool.

Scary Movie (R16) 6/10 I think this movie can be summed up best by a quote I heard somewhere that went something like -"There isn't much hope for a movie that is spoofing several movies that in turn were spoofing an entire film genre." It's got a few laughs along the way, but most of them were in the preview. It's Scream meets Naked Gun to be blunt.

Nutty Professor 2 (M) 5/10 A big old rehash of the first movie. Wondrous make up effects, and Eddie Murphy is allowed to seamless play 6 different characters, in one scene all 6 at once! A few mild laughs, but yeh the idea has worn a lil thin. And I wanted to see more of the professor’s alter ego.

Unbreakable (M) 6/10 I guess it's hard for a new director to follow up their surprise hit movie with another stunner, okay, so this is still quite stunning but considering that M. Night Shaymalan's first movie was The Sixth Sense, it WAS a lot to live up to. It's only real fault I guess is that he tried again to make a film that twisted a lot, was pondering. Indeed I felt this movie was very admirable in that it could have been like any other Hollywood action feature, given the idea it's based on, but in the end, it was too slow. Way too slow. I enjoyed all the wondrous camera work though and the surprise revelation at the end, like Sixth Sense, brought the entire movie into focus. Both Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson give fine performances, Willis playing it even more subdued than he did in Sixth Sense. All in all, if you have the time and the patience this will leave you quietly surprised.

Chicken Run (PG) 8/10 Aardman Animation triumph again. On a slightly bigger scale though. This involves a bunch of chickens planning on escaping from the sadistic clutches of the evil owners. After yet another unsuccessful attempt there is the sudden appearance of the con-artist rooster, Rocky, who "flies" into the coup. What follows is the blossoming romance between Rocky and Ginger, the leader of the chickens. As per usual for an Aardman film, there are several action scenes involving giant machines, this time round it is a huge chicken pie-making machine. Eventually the chickens do manage to come up with a foolproof escape plan, which is the film's climax. I won't spoil the surprise by explaining how it works, but rest assured it's a chase scene like only Aardman know how to do.

Charlie's Angels (M) 7/10 As with every movie review I do, it seems I'm mostly on my own about how I feel about a movie. And with Charlie's Angels, it's no exception. This film kicks ass. It's pure eye candy, agreed, but boy, 3 totally gorgeous women beating the shit out of all the bad guys in sight. Oh yeh, it's kewl. It has HUGE nods to The Matrix ala its fighting style and execution, but heck, Matrix ripped off every other Hong Kong action ever made. And yes thank you someone for setting a fight scene to Blur's Song2! Wahoo! Every single fight, no exception is awesome, and these girls give as good as they get, but mostly give. Must, must, must be seen with a kick ass sound system.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (M) 7/10 I know, I know. 7 seems a lil low for a film that won big at Cannes. But it is only my opinion, so here's why it gets a 7. This film measures up in every aspect, be it the cinematography, which is spectacular, to the fight scenes, which blew me away, to the brilliant performances of all the players. NOW, what I didn't like was that it couldn't make up its mind. Did it want to be a romance, or an action film? And because of that, the two genres, I felt, didn't seem to mix well at all, hence the lower score. My advice: see it anyway. The sheer spectacle of it all will leave you overwhelmed. But if you're an action fan, go in and be patient coz there's lots of long bits where there's just talking, and it's quite serious. And for the romance addicts, sorry, there's some fighting in it that you'll have to bear with. Yeh. It makes for a very strange audience. One side mid to late teens, the other side early 30's girls with tissues on standby. And every so often both sides will look at the other and say, "What are they making all that noise for?"

The Watcher (M) 5/10 The first word that came to mind about this film is formulaic. Okay, yeh I know. Formulaic isn't necessarily a bad thing, if the style and execution are at a high enough level to balance out the railroad-ness of it all. Funny, coz one of the most successful movies to come out in the last few years, The Matrix, also starred Keanu Reeves, and it too was perhaps a lil formulaic. But, going back, you'll see I loved it, purely because the Wachowski Brothers know how to make fantastic looking cinema, how to get an audience up on their feet. Here, it got too predictable, I had already guessed the plot and the ending only a 1/3 of the way through. Keanu, sorry, stick to action. Manipulative, psychotic serial killers aren't your thing at all. As for the film, plot wise, yeh, predictable, littered with cinematic caricatures and overused one-liners. I will give it kudos for one small lil thing, there are several moments during the film when the view switches to POV of the killer, where the film quality suddenly drops to something less than a home handicam, and it takes on a bent appearance, as if to say, the killer does not see the world as we do …

Men Of Honour (M) 6/10 I feel bad giving this movie such an average score, when its source material is one far greater than the film itself represents. It tells the story of the U.S. Navy's first black diver to become a Master Diver, and follows his story through the well tread Hollywood road of racism and courage. That may sound a lil cynical, but I felt like I had seen this movie before, or at least it was a sequel to another one. There are some great performances though, and I did feel satisfied with the outcome.

The Exorcist Directors Cut (R16) 8/10 I can't say much about this film. It is just Goddam scary. Not Scream scary, we're talking about a whole different level here folks. This is horror to make hardened men sweat. So you can imagine the effect it had on the mostly -barely- 16-year-old audience that I saw it with. There were actual terrified screams for most of the time the horror was present. My only advice is that you should pick the time you go carefully, lest you end up with a younger audience, whose only reaction to fear and uncomfortable-ness is laughter, which ruined the most the horrific movie ever told.

Gone In 60 Seconds (M) 6/10 Standard performances from all involved, but sexy as cars, women and camera work. Okay, I didn't buy that stunt near the end, not a bit, but heck, this film is pure entertainment. Turn off brain, set mouth to drool and enjoy.

Hannibal (R18) 5/10 The eagerly anticipated sequel to the 1991 hit Silence Of The Lambs. All performers give it their all in this gory update of Dr. Hannibal Lecter's exploits, but ultimately, I felt that there was little story to tell and excessive gross out value and violence. Very disappointing.

The Mummy Returns (M) 7/10 Way back in 1999 I saw The Mummy first in Singapore on VCD, then when it premiered here. Both times I was struck at how nicely it worked but how it blatantly but beautifully it ripped off every adventure movie ever made. This time around not a lot has changed. A new bad guy (who only turns up at the END?), some superb CGI and some moments that totally kick ass. Steven Sommers, the director of both instalments, wanted bigger, better and MORE. I can't deny that this film is good, it's not going to end up on any top ten lists, but at least it's more credible and entertaining than some of the "blockbusters" of late.

Evolution (PG) 7/10 Looking for something to do one Friday night, I went to see Evolution. I was intrigued by the ad campaign (those three eyed smiley faces were cool) and I love SFX driven adventure sci-fi films. Plus this was directed by Ivan Reitman, the director of Ghostbusters so it was bound to be kewl. Which it is, mostly. It's more of a comedy than anything else, with its ever-predictable ending well in sight. I knew how it was going to end, just as much as the writer and director knew I knew. The fun part was the ride getting there. My hat goes off to the team responsible for the creature design, they were all fantastic. Okay, so apart from that huge, thing at the end. It's just a lightweight, fun movie for a rainy day.

Shrek (PG) 8/10 Up until a few months ago, Toy Story and Toy Story 2 jointly held the prize for best feature length computer animated movie. Enter Shrek as it deftly and easily snatches that prize away. Hands down the best CG feature film this year, heck, it's even looking likely to be the overall best film this year, maybe even in the last few years. Everything in this film is great; the animation is best I've seen. Soundtrack surprisingly works so well and well, it’s a very, very funny film to boot. It'll be a definite DVD must have.

Swordfish (R16) 6/10 Directed by the guy who did Gone In 60 Seconds, and well, it’s okay. John Travolta is lovely and nasty, Hugh Jackman doing the good thing and showing us there is SO much more to him than Wolverine. The plot defies understanding but it's executed well. And man, that opening sequence, very kewl, perhaps a lil bit more time fine-tuning the CGI, but wow.

Final Fantasy (M) 6/10 Ambitious, I'll give it that. And almost convincing. This film, too, tried to wrestle the prize for best-animated film from Toy Story/Toy Story 2 and well, came off second best. Don't get me wrong, this film LOOKS a lot better than Toy Story ever did, but so much of it asks for too much suspension of disbelief. The story, like so many films lately, is bizarre and devoid of reason, I blame that on a heavy Japanese influence in the development stage. I've got nothing against the Japanese, but their style of animation and corresponding plot lines more often than not leaves Western audiences baffled as to what the heck was going on. They're kings of style and execution but yeh, beyond comprehension. Which sums up this film.

Planet Of The Apes (M) 6/10 Having not seen the original film, I was left to judge this film on its on merits. On the plus side, it looks great. The ape make up is incredible. As are the actors beneath them. I guess apart from that, I don't care for it one way or another. I tell you what though, if I had been Leo, played by Mark Whalberg, I'd have stayed with that fine girl on the planet. Bet you felt stupid after that eh Leo!

A Knight's Tale (M) 7/10 Pleasantly surprised I was by this film. Indeed it's only fault, it seems, is a common one these days, and that is this is definitely style over content. An all too obvious ending, littered with characters found in many other period and indeed modern films. Still, what style! I didn't think jousting could be so entertaining.

Jurassic Park 3 (M) 7/10 And suddenly it becomes all too clear. Steven Spielberg was the problem. Parts 1 and 2 were good-ish, to a point. The first one mostly because of it's ground breaking use of CGI, the second, well for practically remaking the first. This time around the helm was handed over to Joe Johnston, who really went to town. No bad guys and if you want to look at it that way, no real good guys either. Just plenty of dinosaurs who look, move and FIGHT a hundred times better than anything in the first two movies. And MAN! You have to feel sorry for that T-Rex. It so very easily could have been the ultimate dino movie, but it ends, I feel, rather weakly, kind of somewhere between the first and second films in terms of ranking. But as for pure entertainment, this beats the first two no question.

Scary Movie 2 (R16) 6/10 I guess for a sequel, at least it's no worse than it's predecessor. This is one funny film, very light on new material, damn all the actors put in some very good comedic performances. And as always, many movies get spoofed, which seems to be one of its highlights. Be on the look out for some obvious and not so obvious take offs from such films as Charlie's Angels, The Exorcist and Hollow Man, to name a few. My advice, grab your popcorn and definitely grab a BIG gang of friends to watch this. It's too good to watch alone.

The Forsaken (R16) 6/10 This one is concerned with a guy on a road trip to deliver a car. On the way, he meets up with a strange young fellow who bums a ride from him. They then meet a sick young woman, and the strange young fellow deduces a vampire has bitten her. From here on in, it's just one chase scene after another, followed by some gratuitous violence and an atypical showdown with the head vampire. Very low budget, no name actors but a very good feel of impending doom. If you like vampire flicks, this one kind of picks up where The Lost Boys left off.

Along Came A Spider (R16) 8/10 Morgan Freeman, as always, is such a great actor. If I took nothing else from this movie, it would be the enjoyment of watching him on screen. As for the rest of the movie, it's okay. Surprisingly violent, a great opening and a very unexpected twist at the end. I tell you what though; that security woman annoyed me so much, it’s bad enough she looks like Julia Roberts, but to sound like her too?? I think perhaps some of the plot-lacked cohesion, but in the end, I liked it.

Rush Hour 2 (M) 7/10 Once again, Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker totally rock on screen. This time around both fight as hard and as fast as each other, indeed fighting the bad guys with the aid of the other sometimes. Ignore the plot; we all know that these kind of movies are not plot driven. It's all about the melee and mayhem that Chan and Tucker create in pursuit of the bad guys. The end sequence in the casino totally rocks, and man that girl from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon is STILL a babe, even when she's an evil kick ass bitch!

Artificial Intelligence (M) 4/10 Watching the previews for this movie, you can't help but think, wow, that looks cool, beautiful even. DON'T be fooled. Looks aren't everything. And as we all know, Spielberg knows how to ruin a good idea. Look at Jurassic Park! It’s overly sentimental, trite and bordering on boring at times. And A.I. gets the coveted award for worst ending in a movie, for, well, this century, perhaps even going back so far as the early nineties. I felt truly embarrassed by it; in fact the audience around me couldn't stop themselves from laughing. I left, wondering why I had bothered. So take this as a warning. This film looks great. Solid performances from Hayley Joel Osment and Jude Law, great production values, excellent visual effects but ultimately laughably poor.

Cats & Dogs (PG) 6/10 Okay, so, it's a kid’s movie through and through. The SFX looks pretty good, and, yeh. It's vaguely funny, in a dumbed down kids kind of way. It's not bad, just not particularly good either. Perhaps if it hadn't been a kids film, it could have really kicked ass, but oh well.

The Others (M) 7/10 Finally, a horror film that delivers. Brilliantly conceived and executed with a superb twist in it's tail. Nicole Kidman plays a 40's housewife awaiting the arrival of her husband home from war, whilst dealing with her sick children, and a house that does more than creak in the night.

Monsters, Inc (G) 8/10 I dare say it, Pixar cannot be faulted. Their films are always rock solid, full of wondrous characters, backed by an interesting and exciting story. And as always, they push the CGI stakes a bit higher than before. Check out the fur on Sully, how real does that look? The voice characterisations, thanks to John Goodman and Billy Crystal are done to a tee. And whatever you do, stay to the end for the outtakes. And man, how cute is Boo?

Fellowship Of The Ring (PG) 9/10 Yes! I got to see the premiere. And was it worth the nearly 2-year wait? Yes, it is. In a big way. This behemoth of a movie gives you no other option but to sit and enjoy. My only quibble is that some, less than 5%, of the SFX aren't as great as the rest. But having said that, the CGI characters in it, namely Gollum and that awesome cave troll, make anything ILM EVER did look cartoony and childish in comparison. Someone didn't believe me when I told them Gollum was CGI, he just looks so great. I've heard some overseas reviewers beat it up over its battle scenes. I say, they are too cool. No, they're not Mortal Kombat style fights, but then I'd kick your ass if that's what you were expecting. Acting wise, it’s totally believable, and for me, who couldn't act my way out of a paper bag, that's all I ask for. I believe the people I saw onscreen were the characters. All the weight and dignity for some, and humour and malarkey for the others. Aragon and Legolas have the best screen presence, and Aragon in particular lives onscreen almost as if that's where he's always been. It's hard to capture the moment I felt when watching this, hell, not even watching. That's too passive. You just get swept up in its emotion and grandeur. New Zealand's picture perfect scenery is picture perfect, the sense of love and commitment to the project exudes from every frame. The people who made this LOVED every second, and it's obvious. Hats off to Peter Jackson, ya know, had I been about 20 years older, I'd have gone to school with him. He's from around my area ya see. Must be something in the water I think,

Behind Enemy Lines (M) 7/10 I am of the wrong generation to have seen Top Gun when it first came out, so I thought I might tag along to see this jet plane/dogfight/war movie. Okay, so there are jet planes in it, or should I say A jet plane, which gets blown to shit within five minutes of taking off. So what was left after the main attraction for me was destroyed? A rather good dramatic performance by Owen Wilson and by the supporting Croatian cast. Plus some damn good action sequences. It suffered from a dual personality of wildly contrasting views: action scenes, as mentioned, to make you proud, then it'll jump straight into war atrocities which left me cold and uncomfortable. But at least it wasn't flippant with it. Probably the biggest gripe I have with it, is that the ending is a pure paint by numbers affair, with the marines getting called in to rescue our man Owen, and then kick some Croatian ass with frickin' huge helicopters. Worth a look though.

Rat Race (M) 6/10 Every so often you need a stupid ass comedy that makes no sense, to come along and pick you up from boredom or depression. For me, Rat Race was just that. A dumbass comedy which was surprisingly funny with some great characters (one a lil too familiar for me in both looks and manner) and one or two well executed set ups. The race of the title is concerned with billionaire John Cleese selecting random people to race each other to $2,000,000 waiting in a locker in some remote town. Good for a popcorn and a coke evening.

Ocean's Eleven (M) 8/10 I didn't want to see this movie. I don't like movies about crime or bank robberies yadda, yadda. But was offered a free ticket, so I thought, it’s free. What am I complaining about? So I went. And was glad I did. This movie exudes cool. George Clooney and Brad Pitt are just too cool. And not only that, their plan to rob 3 (count 'em, THREE) casino's at once is ingenious. The magic of the story telling is that the audience only knows the complete plan at the end, allowing us to go, AHH, that's how they did it. It's very kewl, very funny and it's one great showcase for clever thinking.

From Hell (R16) 6/10 It's different, I'll give it that. Not as scary as I had imagined, but damn, when Jack is exposed, he looks, very, very evil. I won't give the game away by saying how it ends, but suffice to say this movie is soaked in atmosphere and that's about it. The story isn't so hot, and Heather Graham isn't so believable, but it's very watchable.

The One (M) 7/10 Having seen this twice, I can say 2 things. The SFX are good, and the martial arts are outstanding. The story holds together mostly, in a very tenuous way, in such a way that it doesn't get in the way of the fight scenes I mean. The director knew as well as anyone watching, that it's martial arts movie first, second and third. With some interesting SFX in the form of Jet Li being able seamlessly fight himself. As I understand it, this was done by first filming the fight scene with Jet Li and one of his support team. Then in post-production, the support team guy's face is replaced with that of Jet Li's. Very clever huh?

Ice Age (G) 7/10 I really like that it's almost every other month now that we're seeing the release of a new feature length CG-animated film. So I was pleasantly surprised when I saw this one advertised. First off, don't go in expecting reality. The wondrous CGI humans from Shrek and Final Fantasy make the human characters in Ice Age look, well, prehistoric. In fact, nothing in this movie is ground breaking in terms of kinematics, or look or whatever. I've seen intro's in Playstation games that looked and moved nicer than this. BUT, and there is a big but, the characters are very appealing, it's cute and it's also very funny. And sad too. Damn movie made me cry.

The Time Machine (M) 6/10 Remakes are interesting things. But in this movie's case, it's hard enough it's being compared to a previous movie, but also to that movie's inspiration, the book The Time Machine by H.G. Wells. How does it fair then? Only so-so. I can't fault its production values, but some of the acting isn't so hot, and the Morlocks are, perhaps a little under-developed? The stand out sequence for me was when the machine is first activated, and we're treated to a wondrous 360-degree trip through 200 or so years. Even then I feel the earlier movie captured the sense of bewilderment and wonder of time travel better. And Jeremy Irons, well the term prostituting his talent for a pay cheque springs to mind. Asides from all of that though, it is very watchable.

The Scorpion King (M) 5/10 I didn't know what to expect from this. I had read reviews from overseas going from one extreme to the other. But this one falls somewhere between fun and awful. I wasn't excited about it's premise, after all this is a spin-off of a sequel of a movie that was a remake of a movie made in the 1930's. Confused? This is all big, dumb action with all the usual characters. The bad guy turned good guy, the beautiful bad girl who turns out to be good, the real bad guy, the good guy trying to be bad but can't get past his bad lines, and then the annoying funny guy. Its action is it's saving grace, and that's your lot.

Mean Machine (R16) 7/10 I didn't really want to see this. A movie about football?? But what I got was SO much more. It was funny, engaging and completely human. The performances were brilliant, and the final clash (in the form of the Guards vs. the Cons football match) is outstanding. I saw this in Levin, my first time there and I have to say, their theatre isn't bad. Kudos to Shaun and Te Rau for dragging me there.

Star Wars Episode 2: Attack Of The Clones (PG) 6/10 I don't know what George Lucas did, but I like it. It's as if TPM never existed. It just felt like how a SW movie should feel like, like a sense of wonder at what might be around the corner. And boy, he crams so much in that even after seeing it twice, I feel like there's so much more to see. Like every SW movie, there are slow points, but heck, when you see the level of action in this thing you need a breather or two. What can I say? Everything in this kicks major ass, when things get down to being just pure eye candy, oh dear lord, GL knows how to deliver eye candy well. The last 30-45 mins will have you jumping from your seats whooping for joy. The arena fight alone is worth your money, and then you get the first battle of the Clone Wars, too many kewl new droids and weapons mummy, and THEN we get to see why Yoda is a Master with a capital M. The story is rich and complex, leaving you guessing as to how GL will answer the remaining questions with just one more movie. It loses 4 points, well mainly coz the love stuff isn't always so appropriate, and the acting is a lil hokey sometimes. But man, I was just grinning ear to ear.

Spider-Man (M) 8/10 It's hard to fault this movie. I was worried, so worried about it. I mean, I was obsessing over a movie for cripes sake. Spider-man is my favourite comic book character hands down. I level with everything that he is. Well, apart from the whole being a genetic mutant who can spin web. But I digress. I was worried coz this character meant a lot to me, he's cool in a geeky way with physical ability's that weren't quite so hard to fathom and a he has a very, very human side that makes him appealing. Regardless of what the SFX would be like, or the story, I was worried the director would turn this movie into another Flash or Captain America. I shuddered at the thought. But Sam Raimi. He did it. He made a comic book superhero leap from the pages and into the flesh, and he made a movie that was totally character driven. Don't get me wrong the action in this thing will blow your mind. But the "slow moments" were anything but. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst really made this movie what it was. It's as if someone told them they were in a drama rather than an action/adventure movie. It's not sombre, sad faced drama folks, but serious enough. There are no silly gags and it never drops down into 1960's Batman type stupid-ness. Spider-man needs a foe, and he gets it in the way of the Green Goblin, aka Willem Dafoe. I bought his Goblin, and his Norman Osborne as a matter of fact. His schizophrenic conversation with himself in the middle of the movie will blow you away. How someone can be two people in the same shot I will never figure out, but he did it. I could go on and on, tell you how the SFX are amazing, how the fight scenes leave X-Men for dead, even beginning to rival Matrix, how the Spider-Man costume is just too kewl and how much feeling this movie evokes. I have waited nearly a decade for this movie to be made, and by Christopher, I could not have asked for more.

Men In Black 2 (PG) 5/10 I guess the main problem with this movie is that it's so short. It doesn't feel like a movie, just more like an extended TV episode. Oh sure, the SFX are good, it's funnier than the first one, but it's missing something. A compelling story perhaps, or maybe even just an exciting story. It was just a bunch of set pieces rather crudely taped together with some very funny one-liners thrown in for good measure.

About A Boy (PG) 7/10 I got dragged along to this, and I have to say I'm rather glad I did. Hugh Grant hasn't always been a favourite of mine, but I really like him in this. And not only that, I really, really like this movie. This is a movie I shouldn't normally like, it's concerned with relationships: Hugh and Malcolm, Malcolm and his mother, Hugh and Malcolm’s mother etc, etc. yadda, yadda, and ya know what? I wasn't bored; I was always actively wondering what would be happening next. It was a wonderful, feel good story, with wonderful performances.

Insomnia (R16) 7/10 Three wonderful actors (Al Pacino, Robin Williams and Hilary Swank) combined in small town Alaska murder mystery. It makes for wonderful suspense, great story and some revealing moments of humanity's need to do good, at all costs. Robin Williams is truly spooky as the author who knows too much.

Mr. Deeds (M) 5/10 I've never been a huge fan of Adam Sandler, so it came as no surprise that he didn't grow any fonder to me after watching this. He seems to have only one type of character to play, the happy go lucky fellow who's really nice but will kick your arse if he thinks you're being not nice. His humour is very physical and not too intelligent, but if you're after an out loud laugh, you can't beat this.

The Bourne Identity (M) 8/10 This is one interesting action film. It's an action film that looks and behaves like an artsy type film. Matt Damon doesn't get any points for his acting skill (a lil under used, I think), but as an action hero he excels. He pulls out some mean moves I tell ya! The car chase in Paris is phenomenal, but don't go just to see that. This is intelligent and engrossing.

Austin Powers: Goldmember (M) 6/10 I read online that after Mike Myers finally got the rights to call this movie Goldmember, he went back to the script and added or rewrote material to really sting MGM for initially causing such a fuss over the name. If it's there, I was unaware of it. Or indeed was I aware of any new or really funny jokes. It's only worth a few laughs, the opening sequence being one of them. But now I think Mr. Powers should be gently led to a back room, and quietly put-down, like the lame animal he is.

XXX (M) 8/10 Extreme sports action film set in Eastern Europe. Okay. Had you just told me that, I'd have thought twice. But after seeing the preview, my seat was booked. And boy, it delivers. It's a muscley Bond for the new millennium, big, over the top set pieces and action like you've never seen before. Oh, and Vin Diesel is actually quite likeable.

Eight Legged Freaks (M) 7/10 This is almost how I like my action/monster movies. This one is a lil too scatterbrained for my liking, but still, I liked it. Not as much as I wanted to, but hey, it's a movie about huge mutant spiders that take over a small Mid-west town. Tremors anyone? It follows that kind of format. I guess the only thing I like is all the humour surrounding the spiders; they all have a "voice" which allows them to have a personality of sorts. If you're into humorous gory movies, such as Brain Dead, you'll like this. Almost all spider deaths will make you laugh and giggle like a demented school kid.

Red Dragon (R16) 8/10 The fourth movie based upon the exploits of Dr. Hannibal Lector. I was disappointed with Hannibal, but I truly liked this one. A good story, creepy acting and incredibly suspenseful. This time around the violence, although still ever present, is less extreme and a bit more realistic. Anything like the now infamous brain-eating scene from Hannibal is noticeably absent. Plus it has that magic ingredient: it's engaging. And anything with Sir Anthony Hopkins in it is always good.

Reign Of Fire (M) 6/10 We go from tattooed dragons to real ones, Reign Of Fire tries too hard to be real and matter-of-fact, and there's barely a dragon to be seen in it. I was unsure how Matthew McConaghey was able to run all of his military equipment 20 years after the dragons (and humanity) had supposedly destroyed everything. The dragons were okay, but I still think Dragonheart's Draco has yet to be beaten in that department.

Enough (R16) 3/10 Ya know, I should know by now. Do NOT see any movie, ANY movie with J. Lo in it. But god almighty this movie is bad. And surprisingly it's not just coz she's in it. All the actors are terrible, the dialogue is atrocious and the plot is just completely implausible. Plus I had no sympathy for J. Lo's character at all, she could have fixed everything right at the start, but didn't. So when she finally does kick ass (in a badly choreographed and shot fight sequence) it's just thank god this movie is over.

The Transporter (R16) 7/10 Now this is why I go to the movies. To escape from reality, and watch totally out-there, over the top stunts and action. Jason Statham plays a "transporter", someone who delivers parcels, no questions asked. However when he curiously opens his latest package, his world is turned upside down. Enter lots of bad guys, lots of stunts, and one very oily, messy fight sequence. It's pumped up with serious amounts of testosterone, and just to balance things out a dash of female beauty to boot.

The Two Towers (PG) 9/10 The Lord Of The Rings trilogy continues, and boy the pacing now is almost frenetic. Those who haven't seen the first movie, or read the book, may be lost for a while, but good grief, everything the first movie did so damn well is present front and centre, and then it raises the bar even higher. Gollum is, quite simply, perfect. The animation, characterisations and voicing are all brilliant. The attack on Helm's Deep has to be the most amazing 30 minutes of cinema I have ever witnessed. Here we get to see the full effect of the crowd controlling software Massive in action, and boy, the 10,000 fighting Uruk'hai are awesome. Before I forget, Howard Shore's score, including the new Rohan themes, is back, and it's just beautiful. There's just so much going on in this movie, and they pulled everything off. My gripes from the first movie, namely some less than perfect CGI, are completely fixed in this, everything is fantastic. PJ, you are quite simply, da man. All the characters are real, there are no actors in this movie for me, this is more like a camera crew went back in time and captured the turning point of an Earth we've long since forgotten. It's that real, but paced like a crowd-pleasing blockbuster. Surely, surely this trilogy will win something in recognition of its greatness, even if it's just a Huge Hairy Sack award for PJ having the balls to do it.

Catch Me If You Can (M) 6/10 This is interesting, in that this is a Spielberg picture, but it doesn't look and behave like one. I liked all the performances, the story was great, and I loved the kooky John Williams score. I just didn't like that it ran for nearly 2 and half hours. It's an enjoyable rainy day movie.

Chicago (M) 8/10 Having been in the stage show, I already knew the story and most of the dialogue inside out. What I was more interested in was how the three leads (Catherine Zeta-Jones, Renee Zellwegger and Richard Gere) would pull off characters I knew so well. Well, they do it, and for the most part really well. The thing that's stunning about this movie is the dance routines and how all that jazz and liqueur is shot. Okay, so they took out 2 of my favourite songs, but all in all, this is great fun.

The Hot Chick (M) 6/10 Rob Schneider makes dumb ass comedies about people falling down, getting suspect liquids dumped on them, or just plain gross stuff. Most of it isn't funny, which is kind of like this movie too. It's only sorta funny, and the whole swapping bodies’ thing has been done to death already!

Die Another Day (M) 6/10 Bond is back in his 20th movie outing. And this tries so hard, but ultimately is left wanting. It has the cool gadgets, gorgeous women, outrageous stunts and one-liners as only Bond knows how. But it's just, so old now. Bond is his own genre now, and let's face it, it's getting on a bit. I loved how Bond gets his car back on its wheels near the end, but everything else, blah.

Ghost Ship (M) 5/10 I love horror movies, especially gory ones. I love all the suspense, the mystery, the chills and frights. Ghost Ship has lots of gore; the opening scene alone has more decapitations and body slicing than I've ever seen. But what it lacks is the rest of what makes a good horror. Plus in the end, it was just kind of hokey and been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Gangs Of New York (R16) 6/10 Revenge is a funny thing. Sometimes, revenge can make some of the most dramatic and upsetting cinema. And sometimes it can just be messy, overblown and over hyped. Which Gangs is, on a grand scale. I didn't doubt the world that Martin Scorcese re-created, but the plot and motivations were so suspect. My hat goes off to Daniel Day-Lewis for a suitably ambiguous bad guy. Ambiguous in that I felt more for him than I did for Leonardo's character and Leo is meant to be the avenging angel!

Daredevil (M) 7/10 Suddenly a light is turned on, showing the way to making good movies based on comic books. It started with Blade, then X-Men showed us comic book characters could be really real, then Spider-Man brought the action and SFX up a few hundred notches, and now we have Daredevil. Marvel just keep on pumping out one great movie after another, and this is no exception. My only complaint is that some of the fight scenes are filmed too close in, so close it's hard to see the action. But this is one believable and engaging movie, with a hero who is just as frail and human as the rest of us.

Shanghai Knights (M) 8/10 Way back when, when I reviewed the original Shanghai Noon, I gave it a healthy 7/10. And this is one of the rare sequels that surpasses the original, in almost every sense. The fight choreography and humour is bigger and better, and the chemistry between Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson just got better too. It's just laugh out loud fun, and wow inducing fight sequences.

X Men 2 (M) 8/10 I was pleased with this, the latest Marvel movie, in that it could have collapsed under the normal sequel clichés. But it doesn't, thank goodness. As with the first movie, everything is played for real, but with enough tongue in cheek humour to keep it fresh. The new characters, namely Nightcrawler and Stryker are kewl. The opening sequence is a fantastic mix of martial arts, action and SFX, showing us Bryan Singer hasn't been sitting on his arse with this one. In fact the whole movie shows this. Gripes? I've got two. Even though this is a great movie, it doesn't blow the first one out of the water, but it is the perfect complimenting partner to it. A disturbing trend I've noticed with movie action movies of late is that the fight scenes aren't framed or filmed well. That is exactly the same here, especially in the Wolverine/Lady Deathstrike fight. Most of what is presented on screen is a blur of colours, leaving us to only guess as to what coolness lies beneath. The hype leading up to its release made me think this was going to be a very, very serious rival to The Matrix sequels, but no, it's not. It's solid, it has great performances especially Hugh Jackman turning in an even more berserk Wolverine. Finally he's allowed to go absolutely nuts with his adamantium blades, slicing and impaling for all it's worth. I really warmed to Alan Cumming's Nightcrawler, a character that is very easy to empathise with. What I enjoyed the most was relationships building, characters meeting and interacting with each other. I liked the small sequence where Magneto comments on Rogue's hair, as well as the following discussion between Pyro and Magneto about the formers fiery abilities. Don't get me wrong this is a great movie, just not the fantastic one it had been hyped to be.

The Animatrix (M) 6/10 In the pre-Matrix build up, in order to whet our appetites, the Wachowski Brothers decide this is the perfect way to prepare us for what could be a movie that sets standards and records that won't be beaten for many years to come. The basic concept is this: using a variety of animation styles, we are shown 9 short films depicting life before, after and within The Matrix. The results are a mixed bunch. The first two films are just one TV length film cut in two, but they are the second best things about this. The animation is great, the story telling is engaging, it is also genuinely disturbing; something I can't say about the original film. The best thing about this project? The last short, Final Flight of the Osiris. Think Final Fantasy bumped up ten notches. It's agonisingly short, but wow, as so many people said to me, in a few years we won't need actors at all. The other 6 shorts are just interesting concepts, including: several children inside the Matrix discover a house where the laws of physics are turned upside down, a film-noir detective story involving Trinity, one set in the "real" world involving a team of humans capturing machines, then converting them to be their allies, an Olympic sprinter's near-miss with awakening, a young boy who attempts to escape from some Agents within the Matrix and finally a brilliantly animated Manga tale of a man and woman sword fighting in the Matrix, and discovering that one of them is a traitor. All in all, a thought provoking and highly interesting concept, although not always entirely successful.

The Matrix Reloaded (M) 7/10 I was really worried about this film. I had purposely avoided anything to do with its promotion, I mean heck, for me it doesn't need promoting, the word "Matrix" alone would be enough to make me see it. For various reasons I had to wait a few days after its initial release to see it, and slowly people's opinions began to filter back to me. Most seemed hesitant to bathe it in glory, said it was alright, some even went as far as saying it wasn't as good as the first. Then a couple of teenagers, this films key demographic, said it was just ehh. Stunned, I sat down last night to see if they were right. They are and they aren’t. Matrix Reloaded packs some serious firepower. The fights are better than the first in terms of just sheer length, variety and originality. The SFX have gone up several notches, as has the entire scope of the film's lens. Unfortunately Matrix Reloaded is all action, SFX and meaningless philosophy with very little substance.  So on a pure eye candy level, it works but it’s most definitely the sidekick to The Matrix’s superhero. 

Phone Booth (M) 8/10 Apparently the idea has been floating around for a while, supposedly as far back as Hitchcock at his peak. But I digress, it doesn't matter that this movie took years to grow from just the smallest germ of a thought to a finished product. What does matter is that it's a great movie. All that happens is Colin Farrell's character, an arrogant and self-obsessed publicist, answers a public phone that rings, and then finds himself compelled to not hang up. That's all you need to know. It's really short for a feature film, but the acting, pacing and tension alone are worth the admission.

Bruce Almighty (M) 7/10 Now, comedies aren't my genre of choice. But every so often, I feel the urge for a good laugh. I entered the theatre for Bruce slightly apprehensive. This movie was set in Buffalo, New York. I had been there only months before, visiting my now ex-girlfriend. So, it was understandable that I'd feel weird about seeing places I had memories of. But lo and behold, I laughed my arse off. To the point where I thought I'd die, Jim Carrey somehow manages to be lowbrow but come across as an intellectual. I'll never puzzle that one out. The story is interesting, but really, it could have been about anything. For me, this was quite an emotional movie, not just seeing familiar places, but also hearing music that had been around when I became single again and seeing situations similar to mine. But overall, a very funny movie, in the fine tradition of Jim Carrey movies.

The Hulk (M) 8/10 The Marvel onslaught of movie's based on comic books continues. The Hulk is directed by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's Ang Lee, and it actually shows. Although we are dealing with a universe based in fiction, so much of this movie comes across just your average, everyday drama, except, that is, for the giant green man who has a tendency to smash things. It's handled with respect, and a genuine want to present an engaging story. Occasionally the Hulk CGI doesn't hold up, but only because we have no reference for what a giant, green, jumping man looks like. It's an enjoyable yarn, but it outstays it's welcome a bit, and it's last 10 mins are confusing and jarringly cartoony. I guess Mr. Lee wanted a big bang for his finale, but it didn't quite work out like that.

Sinbad: Legend Of The Seven Seas (PG) 6/10 From the lads that brought us Prince Of Egypt, another modern interpretation of a mythological classic. I really enjoyed this; it was well paced, well animated, and funny where it needed to be and had plenty of action. Only problem is that it's just a lil too aware of where it's going, what it's doing, and definitely trying to show that traditional cell animation is alive and well. But it's not a bad way to spend a rainy afternoon.

Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (M) 6/10 And you thought the first movie was outrageous and over the top? This movie seems to been have made to simply top the original. Which it does, over and over and over again. Only problem is that most things that go into making a movie seem to have been sacrificed so that the visuals onscreen are out of this world, consequently this time around the Charlie’s Angels team makes even less sense, with more "whatever" stunts than your average Bond flick.

Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines (M) 7/10 I never thought I'd see another Terminator sequel, and well here it is. It has everything you'd want from an action movie and from a Terminator movie. Explosions, outrageous stunts and lots and lots of Terminators with very, very big guns. My only problem, it seems, is a common one among sequels. There is very little on screen that is new, I had almost dismissed this as an unnecessary film. And then the out of no-where ending happened. Wow. The T-X is great, is it wrong to think a machine is sexy?? An interesting way to continue the franchise.

Bulletproof Monk (M) 6/10 Chow-Yun Fat delivers yet another martial arts flick about saving the world from, da da da da da da dah! Evil Nazi's. Ridiculous wire-fu ensues. For the serious martial arts lover i.e. me, this is a passable film, with some exceptional fight choreography and some questionable philosophy.

Final Destination 2 (R16) 5/10 As well as being a martial arts lover, I love horrors, especially gory ones. That's why I really, really want to love this movie. I mean, it's an awful movie, true, but it's so true to the conventions of horrors that I wish it could be more than it is. It gets kudos for the pile up at the beginning and all the deaths are fantastic, from a gore perspective. Just so mediocre.

The League Of Extraordinary Gentleman (M) 7/10 And the comic book adaptations just keep on coming! I had heard word from overseas that this was a really bad movie, but I think not so. Sure, it's a lil un-even, perhaps even bordering on hokey, but it's thoroughly enjoyable and a great adventure movie to boot. It's got some excellent effects and fight sequences and the story is actually really good. I'd definitely see this one again.

Identity (R16) 8/10 This is a horror and a thriller, and surprisingly, a superb whodunit too. All you need to know is that 10 strangers are trapped in a motel one stormy night. Then people start dying. The best bit is that you'll never see the end coming. Suspenseful and completely absorbing.

Finding Nemo (G) 7/10 Pixar have got this animation thing wrapped up quite nicely, perhaps a lil too nicely. I'm wondering if they're beginning to get a lil smug about dominating the family animation genre, because even though I cannot fault this movie's technical achievements and sense of humour, I cannot in good faith say it's better than their previous efforts. It's certainly enjoyable and great for families, but it's nothing ground breaking or utterly original. Having fish as your main protagonists is certainly weird, but I bought it.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (M) 8/10 Interesting basing a movie on a ride in Disneyland, but hey, this works. Johnny Depp is an absolute treat, funny and charming as well as the consummate action hero. It's a rousing pirate movie with fantastic effects i.e. invisible ones. It's played totally for entertainment, which is a good thing with this movie.

Tomb Raider 2: The Cradle Of Life (M) 4/10 I missed the original movie in the cinemas, but was pleasantly surprised when I saw it on video. It wasn't at all bad, certainly nowhere near Indiana Jones quality, but enjoyable all the same. This one just seems to be a movie of missed opportunities and wrong decisions. I hated the creatures at the end, the fact that none of the characters grew and how unoriginal it felt. It was just so blah.

Bad Boys 2 (R16) 7/10 By no means a classic, but an exercise in how to make a good, bordering on exciting, action movie. It's funny, moving, has cool gadgets, everything you want to happen, happens. Some interesting camera ideas, fun shoot-outs and a nice way to take out the bad guy.

28 Days Later (R16) 6/10 If horror is really your thing, go no further than this movie. It will scare the hell out of you, coz I love horrors and it scared the crap out of me. And it was the humans and not the "zombies" who scared me most. Humans are damn scary creatures under certain situations. Filmed almost entirely on consumer quality digital cameras, it has a completely real and gritty feel that adds to the claustrophobia.

S.W.A.T. (M) 6/10 I'm pretty sure this movie went to school with Bad Boys 2. Although it doesn't look the same and feels slightly different, the two are remarkably similar. It's high action, great characters, fun set pieces and again, a nice bad guy death. Colin Farrel just keeps underlining how much of an action hero he is.

The Matrix Revolutions (M) 4/10 Having bought Matrix Reloaded and watched it again and again, I can say now that I over-rated it. But it's still better than this. So disappointing on so many levels. Sure the SFX are incredible, and the breaching of Zion and subsequent attack wow inducing, but the story arcs set up so nicely by the first movie, and if you like, the second movie, are dropped, fumbled or forgotten here. It's just stupid, clichéd and confusing, with an unsatisfying ending. I said in my X-Men 2 review that the Matrix trilogy would be one of the classic trilogies of all time. I was wrong, very wrong it seems. An almost total absence of what made The Matrix so good, i.e. the kung fu, the inventive SFX and really cool characters. Such a waste of a franchise.

The Return Of The King (M) 10/10 Before I go any further, I must add, this movie is an imperfect 10, but I'm cool with that. This movie celebrates the world of Men, Humanity, and all the wonderful foibles that go with it. In that light, it's easy to dismiss some less than perfect SFX that I noticed. And, that’s all I can fault with this movie. I felt like I held my breath for the entire 202 minutes this behemoth was on screen, the emotional scope and power it delivers is incredible. The first two movies, FOTR and TTT, finally make sense now, in that what they built up, the characters, the hopes and dreams, finally get paid off here. Characters die, others change, most grow and fulfil their destinies. It's touching, moving, powerful stuff here, this is the best movie I have seen in many, many years. I hope in years to come, I'll be able to say it's my all time favourite movie. I'm glad I ignored those nay Sayers who slagged it for the absence of Saruman, for the no Scourge of the Shire and for an "excessively long" ending. For me, this movie is everything I could have wanted it to be. It's also cool beyond words. I loved all the David and Goliath moments, especially Legolas taking down a Mamukil single handedly, Eowyn hacking off a fell beast's head, THEN ramming her sword in the Witch King's face, the look on the orc's faces when the Army Of The Dead SWARMED towards them, Sam's line to Shelob and then kicking her spider ass, and Aragorn's moment just before charging into battle at the Black Gate. The ending is great, giving all those characters a chance to show how their story ends. Peter Jackson, thank you. I had not read the book before seeing the first movie. FOTR inspired me to do so. After seeing all three, I can now say in all honesty, you made three very cool, moving and kick ass movies that despite what must have been overwhelming odds, stay true to the spirit and intent of the book. You made those characters live, you made their world and their ideals live. I don't care what others may think; this trilogy is how it should be, in my eyes. Thank you.

Peter Pan (PG) 7/10 If you were at all disappointed or embarrassed by Spielberg's "Hook", this is the movie to see. It's a re-telling of J.M. Barrie's classic story, without the Disney putz. It's colourful and engaging, some great family action and has some great scenery chewing performances. It's a sweet and sincere coming of age story.

Welcome To The Jungle (M) 8/10 I think The Rock looks great on screen. So long as he doesn't open his mouth. But ya know what? The guy can actually act half decently, as shown in this movie. And he has some good comic timing as well. Both he and Seann William Scott give as good as they get, this is one big, funny and exciting action movie. Scene to watch out for is The Rock's fight with the rebels in the jungle. More than enough big hits to satisfy anyone.

Big Fish (M) 7/10 Tim Burton never fails to impress me. The worlds he crafts in his movies always feel like home, except a home where something magical and mysterious is about to happen. Big Fish is exactly that, magical and mysterious. A journey of one man trying to understand his dying father, but learning more about himself in the process. The ending is a lil Titanic-y for me, but it's moving and silly, something only Tim Burton can get away with.

The Last Samurai (R13) 6/10 Beautifully shot, acted and pulled together, and that's about all to expect from this movie. Imagine Dances With Wolves set in Japan and swapping Tom Cruise for Kevin Costner. I hate to beat on it so, but it does come across like one long cliché.

The Passion Of The Christ (R16) 5/10 I was raised a Catholic, so I have seen a few biblical movies in my time, but none as overtly gory and unforgiving as this. This is Mel Gibson’s oh so controversial Passion, and while I can’t say for sure that the accusations of anti-Semitism are warranted, I can say the film itself is mostly unnecessary, at least for my sake. It certainly makes you think and introduces some interesting ideas, but it just feels like it’s missing the point somehow.

50 First Dates (M) 7/10 I don’t dig Adam Sandler; it’s just a preference. But this latest effort of his is actually really good. It’s not afraid to take itself seriously, and for some reason that makes the comedy so much funnier.  I needed a laugh when I saw this, and I sure as hell got it.  Adam Sandler plays his usual sorta character, Drew Barrymore is adorable and Sean Astin freaked me out with his gyrating pectorals.  Well worth seeing.

The Cat In The Hat (G) 5/10 I wasn’t the intended audience, but as an act of family solidarity, I endured this rather pointless movie. I won’t gripe too much.  It’s bright, colourful and surprisingly adult at times. Unfortunately, Mike Myers grates a lot, and this feels nothing at all like the wonderful Dr. Seuss books.

Secret Window (M) 6/10 Secret Window has everything going for it.  It stars Johnny Depp, based on a Stephen King novella, scripted and directed by David Koepp.  But the unlikely happens.  It’s rather sedate, surprisingly un-scary and has an overly familiar ending.  But what I enjoyed about it is Depp’s performance and the mysterious atmosphere that Koepp has conjured up.

Starsky And Hutch (M) 6/10 Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson in the same movie?  Could it possibly be the most potentially funny movie ever?  As it turns out, it isn’t.  Most of the jokes fall flat, and the “action” scenes too jumbled and hokey to be exciting.  It’s a pity really; this could have been really good.

Van Helsing (M) 7/10 The American critics mauled this horror/adventure as being lame, un-exciting and stupid.  I agree on the last point, but dispute the first two.  This is a ripping yarn about werewolves, vampires and an odd looking Meccano-man.  It’s not deep, but surprisingly funny, with great action and hot girls.  What else could I ask for?  Stephen Sommers won’t win an Oscar for direction, but he doesn’t need to.  All he needs to do is keep making movies that put bums on seats.

Troy (M) 4/10 This could have been great.  It really could have.  Mostly the reason I didn’t like it, is because it failed to engage me with its story and because I could not suspend my disbelief.  At all.  Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom gave performances that were the exact definition of catatonic.  I mean, sure they look great, and if you’re a girl this is your daydream fantasy film for months to come, but come on!  The battle scenes are good especially Hector fighting Achilles.  But so many points in the movie grated against me, like the exclusion of the Gods, certain plot elements and just how boring it is.  It’s a big disappointment.

The Day After Tomorrow (M) 7/10 In the same tradition as Independence Day, comes this latest effort from Roland Emmerich.  He can certainly do the whole disaster thing really well, beautiful sometimes.  But I guess my main gripe is that asides from the aforementioned weather-related disasters not a lot happens.  It’s a plus and a minus.  It could have been all explosions and death, but in the end, Man has to live with the problem he has created.  It’s this “real” ending that gets this movie a 7 and not a 6.

The Punisher (R18) 7/10 Sometimes I’m glad that I ignore critics.  Case in point being The Punisher.  The American critics trashed it.  However, apart from some possibly unnecessary comedy, this is another great Marvel movie.  This time we are introduced to Frank Castle, who during the course of the movie becomes The Punisher.  Frank has no super powers.  He is just his own man, a vigilante, pitting his ex-Seal/Marine skills against an unsuspecting criminal underground.  What I enjoyed was the almost complete lack of CGI, and some truly exciting fight sequences, namely with The Russian and Frank’s final assault on the Saints And Sinners nightclub.  It’s the perfect introduction to a compelling character, coupled with an engaging performance by Thomas Jane in the title role.  I look forward to a sequel!

Harry Potter & The Prisoner Of Azkaban (PG) 7/10 I did not see the first two instalments of this series in the cinema, rather I waited until they came out on DVD to watch them.  Harry 1 and 2 were okay, but so definitely aimed at children, as a 20-something I couldn’t get into them.  Then I decided to actually read the books.  And that just made what I saw even worse.  I’m now something of a fan of Master Potter, although I’m not jumping up and down waiting for the next book, or movie for that matter.  So.  With that in mind, I sat down to watch the movie version of my favourite Potter book.  It’s fine, miles better than the first two movies.  It’s definitely the first real movie about Harry Potter, in that it stands alone without the need for any further information to help you understand it.  There are bits from the book left out or ignored, or changed, but in the end, this movie works and is, dare I say it, actually exciting.  I guess I dig it coz I’m still on a fantasy buzz from LOTR, but who knows?

Shrek 2 (PG) 7/10 More sequels to deal with.  Full-length CGI movies are fast becoming commonplace now, so to judge this film on it’s technical achievements would be unnecessary and misplaced.  Suffice to say, the animation and rendering are as good, if not better than the first.  The story, voice acting and pacing are all I’m left to evaluate … unfortunately.  The story is fine, in a sequel kind of way, but it rarely rises above bland, rarely becomes as exciting as say Shrek and Donkey’s race to prevent Fiona from marrying Lord Farquaad.  Strangely, Shrek and Donkey do exactly the same thing in this one, obviously preventing marriage to yet another evil suitor.  Had this been the first movie, I would be lavishing more praise on it, but yeh.  It just doesn’t expand enough on Shrek’s world, despite having so many new characters.  The film makers had dealt with Shrek trying to win Fiona with the first movie, yet felt compelled to do it all again with this one.  So an almost identical rehash of the first story ... but voiced and executed in an engaging manner, I find myself thoroughly torn with this film.

Dawn Of The Dead (R16) 6/10 A long time ago I saw the original DOTD.  It was compelling, scary and thought provoking, mixing gore, horror and a blatant attack on consumerism with such deft swishes of George Romero’s filmmaking brush that I have been hunting for a copy to own ever since.  Hollywood decides it’s time for a remake, and I’m disappointed.  For a start, the zombies can run.  The whole point, the thing that is supposed to make these “humans” scary, is even though they appear human, they act completely inhuman.  Not only do these zombies run, but also they appear to have some form of cognitive ability.  You can see their eyes “tracking” living humans, problem solving, teamwork … they seem less like zombies and more like mute cannibals.  Something I’ve encountered before in a movie is when the human protagonists are more frightening than the “monsters”.  This is usually a good thing, but without the wit and satire of the original, these new zombies fade into the background, only to be resurrected, excuse the pun, when the filmmakers decide to put the characters in harms way.  It feels sloppy, and lazy … and it is.  The scariest moment I found was when one character dies at the hands of another living human, but completely by accident.  It was graphic, unexpected and played by both actors to perfection.  It lasts only a few seconds and if only the whole movie could have played out with this much originality, I would have enjoyed it more.

Spider-Man 2 (PG) 10/10 I know, I know.  I’m setting myself up by giving Spidey Version 2.0 full marks.  But it deserves it.  It takes what we know, throws in the best comic book villain ever and then proceeds to top the first movie, then when it’s satisfied we agree this is a better movie … bam!  It gets even better.  I won’t spoil any of what’s on offer here, I’ll leave it for you to discover.  This is how a sequel should be, a continuation of Spidey’s story.  Not a rehash of what’s preceded.  Don’t hesitate, move your ass!  Go see this movie.

I, Robot (M) 8/10 I really like Will Smith.  He’s a funny and charming every-man.  In this his latest outing, he’s playing a caricature he’s played many times before, most famously in the Bad Boys films and Men In Black 1 & 2.  By now everyone has been deluged by the mass of hype and marketing surrounding this movie, so I won’t waste time going into the premise.  I guess the first thing I should say is Asimov purists will hate this thing with a passion.  But for me, someone who lives for just this sort of movie, a delicate balance of humour, science, logic and wanton violence against and by robots, I was in heaven.  As well as the spot on effects, I marvelled at how cool the action was, especially Alex Proyas’ new take on The Matrix’s now infamous bullet-time sequences.  The highlights for me were Sonny’s numerous fights with “bad” NS-5 robots.  Who knew that a household robot could not only execute such beautiful and acrobatic martial arts, but also be so violent?  The moments of Sonny smashing, breaking and punching holes through other ‘bots were the ones that elicited the most vocal responses from my friends and me.  Lows – a couple for me.  I am ignorant to most of Asimov’s books, but I respect that he wrote stories where the robots were just another character, rather than a “hey look at the robot” triviality.  In that light, this is just standard Hollywood summer fare, even with Alex Proyas at the helm.  Any subtext or greater mystery about the robots is lost amongst the explosions and Will Smith cracking robot skulls.  But hey, it’s fun and has great action sequences.  With robots.  That fight good.  So there.  So watch it.

King Arthur (M) 5/10 I dunno, I just feel so ambivalent towards this flick.  I was hoping that the story would be enough so that I wouldn’t die of frustration waiting for the action to kick in, but even though I kept my sanity, my lust for cinematic battle was not slated by director Antoine Fuqua’s efforts.  Sometimes it felt like he was going for a Seven Samurai thing (wow, 7 main knights!), then it would cross over obviously to Braveheart, then rather cautiously to Lord Of The Rings.  Considering that it was apparently made on a similar budget, it’s certainly lacking in the looks and coolness department.  It had the potential to be so cool.  Arthur’s knights looked cool, and they were set up nicely at the start, but after that, nothing.  Bottom line is, it isn’t as awful as some have been making out, just a poor man’s Braveheart/Lord Of The Rings.

The Chronicles Of Riddick (R13) 7/10 I have had to deliberate on the review for this new Vin Diesel muscle flick for some time now. Okay, it was 12 hours, gimme a break! I cannot, in all honesty, say there is anything wrong with it, yet I don’t think it will be staying in my mind for as long as Pitch Black did.  Riddick is a cool character, but he doesn’t seem to have grown at all.  Everyone loves a hero, and an antihero, but I couldn’t get into Riddick’s motivations.  Give David Twohy props for an unconventional action plot, but nothing grabbed me firmly.  Speaking of action, it’s almost unwatchable for the most part.  I realise that sometimes watching a movie on film can cause fast moving scenes to appear strobed, but this was deliberate and ridiculous.  It was a blur, and, as with some movies, all it did was hide the cool moves and pull you out of the flick.  I also imagine that it could be physically painful for some people to watch.  As such, our theatre had a warning that it contained Strobe Lighting.  Which about sums the movie up really.

Hellboy (M) 8/10 At long last, I have seen Hellboy!  I have to say this … as much as I enjoyed this flick through and through, I wish I hadn’t seen the trailer as early as I did.  I knew about this movie way back in November 2003, and had downloaded the kick-ass preview by January.  By April, when I thought it was coming out, my anticipation was revving up.  Then I learnt it wouldn’t be coming to New Zealand until at least August.  So, here I am now, burnt out from anticipation.  Also the trailer is kick-ass.  Hats off to the marketing people at Columbia, it was that trailer alone that made me want to see this movie for over 10 months.  However, the movie does fall short of what the trailer promises.  Don’t misunderstand, this movie is inspired, colourful and when it shifts to 5^th gear it kicks unholy ass.  There just isn’t nearly enough action.  And I don’t know, Kroenen is so cool as Rasputin’s assassin, but Mr. Del Toro has muted the violence somewhat.  I didn’t hate the villain’s enough to want Hellboy to smash the shit out of them, even after the murder of Hellboy’s closest ally.  Still, my gripes are only with some character choices, some plot choices.  On the whole, Hellboy is awesome, and thoroughly enjoyable.

Shaun Of The Dead (R13) 8/10 I was lucky enough to see this as part of the International Film Festival in Christchurch.  I’m kinda in an odd place at the moment, so I’ll keep this brief.  It’s hilarious, down right gory and so ... seducingly charming you won’t be able to help yourself.  However you see this movie, just do and with much haste.

Walking Tall (M) 6/10 There isn’t a whole lot to be said about this movie.  It does everything you expect, and want it to do.  The Rock is charismatic as ever; he’s always so likeable.  This was a great distraction for an hour and a half, but I’m glad I didn’t pay for it!

The Bourne Supremacy (M) 8/10 Imagine if you will, The Bourne Identity having a different story.  This pretty much sums up the sequel.  That’s not to say it isn’t enjoyable.  I loved this movie, asides from some whacked out camera work in one particular fight sequence.  This is the kind of spy movie I enjoy, a lot more enjoyable than say the Bond franchise has been of late.  Matt Damon is a great actor, putting in more of a performance than he did first time around.  I guess this is a different sort of action/thriller movie, so for that I’ll give it kudos for not treading down the typical Hollywood road.

Gettin’ Square (M) 7/10 My friends constantly surprise me. Them seeing an Australian movie is just one more thing. The fact that I agreed to go see it with them again .. surprises me! Whatever you may think you know about Australian cinema, forget it. Gettin’ Square is a great story and very, very funny. David Wenham, last seen in Van Helsing and LOTR, gives a performance so unlike those two, I wonder what the real Mr. Wenham is like. It’s a coarse and violent look at the Australian crime world, and two unlikely friends trying to go straight, or as the title suggests, gettin’ square.

Man On Fire (R18) 6/10 Denzel Washington is an actor I admire. Yet, like any actor, he’s just as liable to choose a duff movie to appear in as anyone would be. Okay, that’s a lil harsh. MOF isn’t duff, just moderately boring. I only remember one thing about this one, and that’s the name of Denzel’s in movie “girlfriend”. If you’ve seen it you’ll know what I’m talking about. Otherwise, it’s just a very violent and long, character driven revenge flick.

Dodgeball (M) 7/10 Ben Stiller comedies aren’t renowned for their stories, and this is no exception. Most of the comedy is of the gross out/slapstick variety. But for some reason, it’s so funny, even when someone gets a spanner thrown in their nuts!

Thunderbirds (PG) 4/10 Yes, it’s true. Thunderbirds is rightly so, Thunderturds. Everything that made the 60’s TV show cool is completely absent. I tried to disbelieve what I had heard, but it’s right there on screen. Spy-Kids: Operation Thunderbirds. Such a waste.

Alien vs. Predator (M) 7/10 First off, this is nothing like either an Alien movie, or a Predator movie. It’s a movie like only Paul W.S. Anderson knows how to make. Cheese, cheese and more cheese. But, and here’s the interesting thing. It’s actually kinda cool. Even enjoyable. Okay, so the violence is way muted and two of the predators come off as pussies, but for the most part, I really liked it.

National Treasure (PG) 7/10 Jerry Bruckheimer loves big explosions and Nicholas Cage.  I don’t know why.  In any case the two seem to go together well, and National Treasure is no exception.  It has some neat ideas, cool set pieces and just enough of a Goonies feel to make this child of the 80’s like it.  It’s typical Hollywood fodder, but it’s entertaining.

Team America: World Police (R16) 7/10 I hope the South Park lads now give up on doing movies.  Not to say they make bad movies, but I just don’t know how they can sustain this amount of humour and inventiveness.  You should have heard of this by now, and its notorious sex scene.  The story they tell is one those sick of Hollywood will enjoy .. very few people are left unscathed.  It’s not just a send up of action films but also a large stick up the arse of George W. Bush.  Which Trey and Matt proceed to wiggle furiously.  And giggle while they do it. 

Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events (PG) 8/10 Unfortunately I haven’t yet read the books this movie is based on, but I still found it to be a highly enjoyable, dark, delicious and funny adventure.  Jim Carrey plays the penultimate villain, and villain in the classic sense of the word.  The child actors are actually a great foil for Mr. Carrey, proving that even he can be upstaged.  The story itself is very unusual, but I think this has more to do with the movie being based on 3 books, rather than 1.  My hat goes off to the persons responsible for coaxing the performance out of the youngest of the Baudelaire’s.

The Incredibles (PG) 9/10 Pixar it seems just can’t be faulted.  And it’s not even like they’re doing the best looking animated movies, they just make good story choices and in this case, took on Brad Bird and his quirky lil superhero story.  Brad made that critical success The Iron Giant, and given the freedom now with 3D animation he has created a story and characters that are sharply defined and very appealing.  Plus its action and animation leave anything out there for dead. 

Blade: Trinity (R16) 7/10 B:T is easily the weakest of the trilogy, but that’s like saying The Two Towers is the weakest movie in LOTR.  I read a review of it recently that totally trashed it, saying it wasn’t even worthy of being just an okay action movie.  I disagree totally.  Sure, the acting is over the top, agreed, a warrior wouldn’t listen to music from an iPod whilst battling vampires, fair enough the action is sometimes difficult to watch .. but you know what?  I like it despite all those things.  I wouldn’t get too caught up in what paid reviewers think.  Although flawed, B:T stands proudly beside the two movies that came before it.  It’s not the strongest, but it sure leaves some of the action films I’ve seen in the last year wallowing in ashen piles.

The Phantom Of The Opera (PG) 8/10 I love musicals.  I love being IN musicals, so I guess that helps when it comes to movie versions of them.  I have a soft spot for Phantom’s music, but I must be one of the few thespians in the world who doesn’t actually know the story at all.  So I was quite excited when I saw the preview for this .. it gave me goose bumps.  I can’t fault it on any sort of technicality, sets, acting, direction, effects .. all breathtaking.  The thing I love about it the most is not actually a thing at all, but Miss Emmy Rossum herself.  She is stunning, with a voice to match.  I could listen to her rendition of Think Of Me all day.  Bravo!

Flight Of The Phoenix (M) 5/10 My dad is mad on aeroplanes.  He dragged me along to see this flick for that very reason, but both of us came out thinking it was utter rubbish.  For those who don’t know, it’s a remake, and not a very good one at that.  I definitely expect more from Hollywood than I should hope to receive, but even so, at least try to have characters who are kinda three dimensional.  I give it kudos for sustaining non boredom for however long it was, but non boredom isn’t the same as compelling, engaging and exciting; three things this most definitely isn’t.

Oceans 12 (M) 6/10 I can sum up this movie fairly simply.  It’s not a patch on the first one, but it has its moments.  It’s still got that cool, sophisticated air about it that the first instalment had and for that I’m grateful.  But as for a clever plot and ingenious ideas, I’d stick with the first one.

Elektra (M) 5/10 Let’s just hope that everyone just coughs and looks the other way about this, Marvel’s latest effort.  Personally, the idea of an Elektra movie with Jennifer Garner gets me very excited, but the reality of it is kinda sedate, lifting ideas from pretty much every other comic book movie there is and still managing to be annoying.  It’s predictable and terribly mundane, with precious little to wow over.

The Aviator (M) 7/10 Martin Scorcese tries again for an Oscar, and yeh, he’s made a better movie than Gangs Of New York, but the movie itself is far too episodic to be compelling, but half the reason for that is the subject matter itself.  Leonardo Dicaprio and Cate Blanchette give outstanding performances, ones I hope will be rewarded come Oscar night.

Constantine (M) 6/10 The dust has settled from the Matrix hu-rah, so Keanu Reeves steps back into the light with yet another comic book adaptation.  So far as cool looking cinema goes, this one has it in spades, and as such it makes for perfect Friday night entertainment with friends.  By no means it is a must see though.  It’s a visually strong, but dramatically flawed movie and one that has a serious lack of action for the movie it was trying to be.  I think it was also trying to be a horror as well, but it certainly didn’t raise my pulse.

Robots (G) 6/10 The creators of Ice Age bravely try family entertainment from a different angle, but only partially succeed.  Sure, the rendering and animation in Robots is light years ahead of Ice Age, but the story and characters we’re offered are visual set pieces at best.  Not a lot happens in its 80 minutes, but it’s charming and distracting enough for a rainy day.

The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (PG) 7/10 I grew up watching the original television series, and as such I was concerned it would be difficult to watch other actors tackle Douglas Adams’ offbeat characters.  Fortunately Mos Def, Martin Freeman and Sam Rockwell more than adequately portray Ford Prefect, Arthur Dent and Zaphod Beeblebrox.  The rest of the cast do well, although I found Alan Rickman’s Marvin to be more sad than annoyingly depressed.  However .. where the film suffers is not in the individual moments, but on the whole it feels exactly like a series of individual moments with our heroes inexplicably racing from one to the other.  I felt the subplot with Humma Kavula lacked reason, and wasn’t particularly funny either.  However as a complete package it’s a fine movie with great special effects and fantastic music, it’s just 20 years too late.

Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge Of The Sith (M) 6/10 So here it is, the final Star Wars movie we’ll ever see, apparently.  I totally concur with other reviews I’ve read, for the most part.  This IS the best of the prequel trilogy and Mr. Lucas has made a mostly seamless bridge between III and IV.  However, the old gripes still rear their ugly head.  The acting and the dialogue is atrocious, there are moments of .. just groan inducing awfulness.  And instead of making action that’s compelling by it’s very nature and design, our eyeballs are assaulted with yes, everything AND the kitchen sink.  This is most apparent by the opening battle over the planet Coruscant where George shows off a long, long swooping camera move as we follow Anakin and Obi-Wan piloting their cool new Jedi Starfighters through explosions and debris.  It’s completely overwhelming and smacks of ILM desperately trying to up the ante.  After this initial battle, there is precious little else to warrant repeat viewings, asides from Obi-Wan kicking General Grievous’ ass then kicking Anakin’s ass in what I felt was this film’s biggest letdown.  For years we’ve heard how Anakin and Obi-Wan fought on an unnamed volcanic planet, that Anakin sustained almost fatal injuries thus transforming into the armoured Darth Vader we all know.  Sure, Anakin gets his ass kicked and it’s very graphic for a SW movie, but it didn’t feel earned.  It’s difficult to hate or love a character who just acts stupidly.  And that’s where I feel this prequel trilogy falls down.  It’s not your Jar Jars, or the crutch-like CGI.  Anakin’s story arc is just stupid.  And it was played out by a boy who couldn’t act, and a young man who could act but it seems was given little to no help in sharply defining who Anakin was.  Darth Vader, the most feared man in the galaxy, was reduced to an incompetent child actor and a whining, petulant teenager.  It’s hard to equate one with the other.  But anyway, it’s over now.  We have our 6^th SW movie.  Please George, stop now.  Leave SW be.  Do those low budget films you keep talking about, and leave the green screen and CGI behind. 

Batman Begins (M) 9/10 Where does one begin?  I came out of Batman Begins feeling how I should have felt coming out of ROTS.  I think hiring Christopher Nolan was the most inspired thing I can think of in the world of movies this year.  The cast are fantastic, no one sucks, not even Katie Holmes.  It’s great to see a movie set in the real world, with it seems like everything shot in-camera.  I love that everyone took it seriously, that it dared to be its own movie and not re-hash anything from the original Batman movies.  Just see it.  It’s just fantastic.

Madagascar (G) 6/10 Dreamworks try again for another Shrek-like hit.  Yeh well.  It’s distracting enough, some funny moments, but nothing mind blowing.  Maybe I’ve just had enough of talking animals.

War Of The Worlds (M) 6/10 Steven Spielberg’s modernised take on H.G. Wells book.  I’ve seen this movie twice now, and I still can’t get much more of a feeling than meh.  Which is terrible because intellectually there is much to like here.  I just thought the extermination of half the world’s population would have more resonating impact, more of an emotional centre than this.  I will give Tom Cruise credit for playing against type as the almost docile, protective father and to Dakota Fanning for playing Rachel spookily like my lil sister was at that age.  Maybe after being treated to such a grand movie as Batman Begins, anything immediately after will seems less.  But with WOTW, I doubt it. 

Fantastic Four (M) 6/10 Marvel developed a serious wobble with the limp Elektra, so they were looking to this, the first great comic book team, to get them back on track.  Let’s get this straight: X-Men and Spider-Man have nothing to fear from FF, at all.  That said what I got was actually a whole lot more than I expected.  It’s actually a great deal of cheesy fun with some great action moments.  Plus it actually uses the abilities of each team member well .. just check out how they dispose of Dr. Doom.  I was expecting trash, but got a fun popcorn flick.  Not bad at all!

The Island (M) 6/10 Yet another summer Michael Bay movie, this time though without Jerry Bruckheimer.  Which surprises me, coz this would be right up his alley.  Anyway .. the movie.  All you’d expect pretty much sums it up.  There’s some cool action set-pieces, but mostly it’s just a summer blockbuster.

Land Of The Dead (R16) 7/10 George A Romero is the king of all zombie-dom.  He knows how zombies should “act”, what’s funny about them, how to film them and above all what’s scary about them.  LOTD is pretty much the movie he wanted to make when he wrote Day Of The Dead.  Anyone who has read DOTD’s original script can attest to that.  There are great moments in this movie, as well as some outrageous plot holes, but mostly it’s fun to watch the zombies learn to deal with the world, then get their heads blown off by the fantastic Dead Reckoning vehicle.  I’ll have me one of them when zombies take over!

Sin City (R18) 6/10 The comic book to movie thing continues, but here we have what is ostensibly the most violent of them all: Sin City.  I love violence, I love watching some arsehole getting his just desserts.  But this .. this was something else.  I’m all for being challenged by a movie, by witnessing things your brain says, “I don’t know if I should be watching this,” but Sin City left me reviled and ultimately letdown and confused.  A colleague of mine loves this film immensely as a piece of modern film noir.  I agree, the look of Sin City is amazing, but it just feels .. not very well thought out.  I understand there are 3 different books that have been condensed into one film, but could it hurt to have intertwined the stories together?  In that sense, this is more Sin City Presents than one idea, one story.  If you’re a student of violence, film noir or just bizarre cinema this will be your bag though.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (PG) 7/10 For as long as I’ve been alive Roald Dahl’s crazy story about a young boy who wins a tour around a chocolate factory has been one of those classic stories.  Once you hit .. 17 or 18 and you wake up to the idea that not all is pink and rosy in the world, you look back at your youth with some dismay.  I look back to the original film, and I see missed opportunities and plain old errors.  Then kooky director Tim Burton gets his hands on the script, rips it apart and takes it back to something more akin to the book.  It’s still not a total success, but it sure does dazzle and it’s funny.  Johnny Depp proves once again he can play anything, and still be hilarious.  I just can’t for the life of me figure out why this hasn’t resonated with me more.

Wallace And Gromit: Curse Of The Were-Rabbit (PG) 8/10 I love it when English entertainment take America by storm.  Especially films like this, where I’m sure most American’s wouldn’t get the humour.  But this opened in the #1 spot, so I must be wrong!  Seriously though, Aardman have done well bringing the lads to the big screen in a full length movie.  The ideas and the humour is top notch, and as always the animation is fantastic .. and I’m so glad that there’s a big chase sequence!

Unleashed (R18) 7/10 For me, it seems since a few years ago, the worth of a movie is whether or not I would buy this on DVD.  Let me tell you, I’ll be queuing up for Unleashed when it does get released on DVD.  Jet Li turns in perhaps his best performance in an English language film, perhaps even best performance ever.  As for the action .. some have said it’s not his best, but for me I loved it .. it’s certainly his most brutal fighting yet.  What I liked about this film though is it has an emotional centre and a great but derivative story.  It has it all, heart and muscle.

Doom (R16) 6/10 So the movie of the game that hardcore gamers have been waiting, oh, ten years for, finally makes it to the big screen.  I remember when the governor of California was whispered to be interested in playing the lead way back when .. I can’t see how Arnie’s presence would have helped things.  That’s not to say that Doom is crap, it’s not.  Well okay come Oscar night I’ll fall off my chair if this thing even got nominated .. for anything really.  But first and foremost this is an action movie right?  And it certainly delivers action.  It’s major highlight is an extended piece of POV camera work that is technically impressive, if a lil boastful.  This does put one in the mood of the game though.  The Rock and Karl Urban give mostly solid performances, everyone else is playing caricatures of earlier team based action movies .. Aliens springs to mind, for many reasons.  But yeh, it’s just an action movie.

Transporter 2 (R16) 6/10 Jason Statham once again dons the suit and BMW for another crack at the criminal underworld.  There’s nothing new here, but who cares?  Just like Doom, this is just another action movie.

Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire (M) 8/10 Hard to believe we’re already up to book 4 of the Harry Potter series.  This is without a doubt, the darkest and most violent HP movie .. but I don’t think they’ll get any more violent than this.  However old the once young HP fans get, they’ll still be kids.  Like any book to movie, there are things that have been cut out, but as a fan of film in general I’m not worried that such and such got cut out or this got changed.  The end result works and I’m now quietly anticipating The Order Of The Phoenix.

The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe (PG) 6/10  I’ve been looking forward to Narnia for a while now, occasionally watching the little video’s that were available online.  There was much promise: WETA Workshop doing the armour and weaponry, Andrew Adamson at the helm and NZ’s own lush scenery to boot.  BUT .. so far as being engaging, it’s not.  Kinda bland is how I’ve been describing it to people.  And yet I feel so mean doing so.  You can see that there’s been a genuine desire to make a quality movie here.  As family entertainment I think it’s very good, but I won’t be lining up for the DVD.

King Kong (M) 8/10 It’s pretty evident from now that I love Peter Jackson’s movie’s.  I enjoy his style, his sensibilities, the characters he and his writing partners Fran and Phillipa create.  On a purely SFX level, King Kong is unparalled.    Gollum it seems was just the starting point for character driven, believable and expressive CGI characters.  Kong is fantastic, I kept telling myself he’s not real, he’s just a bunch of pixels, but man.  After watching Naomi Watts dance the fool for him, Kong just .. he just is real.  I love the music, all the actors, all the creepy crawlies and the absolutely amazing Kong vs. V-Rex fight.  But I stress, this isn’t PJ’s best movie, not by a long shot.  At over 3 hours, it certainly outstays its welcome .. and this is mainly due to sub-plots that never actually pan out.  I think removing some or most of the extraneous stuff may bring it down to a more manageable length.  However, that’s easier said than done .. some very creative editing would be  needed.  I can’t put my finger on what is that keeps Kong from scoring higher, but mostly I think it’s coz I just couldn’t get upset over a 25ft gorilla getting shot at when he had just killed so many people and destroyed so much of New York.  But in terms of simple jaw to the floor wow-ism .. Kong has it in spades.

Valiant (G) 6/10 It would seem that for many years England has watched jealously as the USA spewed out splat after festering splat of CG based, “family” movies.  Someone decided enough is enough and Valiant is born.  Perhaps I’m being a lil scathing, but there is already so many of these blasted things, and rather than be their own movie, they seem destined to follow the same route.  Valiant is no exception.  It’s cute, but it can’t compete animation wise with the big hitters coming out of America.  I also get the feeling this was rushed through the script development end of things, as so much of it doesn’t even come close to making sense.  So, a six for me, mainly because there’s some funny performances and lots of English accents!

Zathura (PG) 7/10 The idea of making a board game come to life is one I have been long fascinated with, ever since Jumanji first was released.  So when a quasi-sequel was announced I was onboard even before I had seen any footage.  This time a new game, Zathura, takes two brother’s on a space adventure where they must face everything from a meteor shower, to rogue robots to murderous lizard aliens.  In terms of well paced and exciting cinema, this scores well with me.  Plus the brotherly tensions were realistically portrayed by the two young boys, especially the youngest brother.  Families with sons will appreciate this.

Underworld: Evolution (R16) 8/10 The original Underworld took no prisoners in terms of action, but U:E takes none in terms of its plot.  If you’ve never seen the first movie, or not recently, you’ll be lost from the moment the film starts.  It hits the ground running, assuming a lot of stuff.  It does go back occasionally to make sure the big moments make sense, but on the whole if you haven’t seen Selene and Michael’s earlier escapades U:E will be no more than a bunch of action scenes.  But speaking as a fan .. BRING ON Underworld 3!! 

V For Vendetta (R13) 8/10 So the Wachowski’s rear their heads again. However this time they hand over directing to one James McTiegue, who, rather than make a paint by numbers, lapdog of all things Wachowski movie, has managed to create a piece of film that entertains and is also provocative, something the brother’s failed to do with the last two Matrix movies unfortunately.  In Mr. Hugo Weaving we have a very strong anti-hero .. or terrorist?  This is the great thing about this movie, he could be either.  Natalie Portman gives a performance I didn’t know she was capable of, George Lucas hang your head in shame.  In the end it’s a tricksey story of freedom and revenge that plays out beautifully and without the need for flashy special effects.

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown (PG) 6/10 I thoroughly enjoyed Manny and Co.’s first outing.  It was charming and funny, and animated well enough for me to not care that it wasn’t Pixar.  Four or five years on the sequel explodes onto our screens and I’m not entirely convinced.  I was expecting animation and rendering at LEAST as good as Blue Sky’s Robots, but somehow it’s only on par with its predecessor.  And the story is weaker.  And it’s less funny.  In the first movie, they were running from ice.  Now they’re running from water.  So does that mean in part 3 it’ll be steam?

Mission: Impossible 3 (M) 5/10 M:I was a great movie, still is.  M:I 2 hasn’t stood the test of time unfortunately.  What’s more disappointing is that M:I 3 more closely resembles part deux than une.  This film is so totally about Tom Cruise and making him look good, not about serving the story, or lack thereof.  I won’t be getting this on DVD, even for completist’s sake.  This total focus on Mr. Cruise is a fatal blow, one which even it’s plentiful action sequences can’t make up for.  The break-in and out of the Vatican is about as close to M:I as you get, and even that stretches the bounds of believability.

X-Men: The Last Stand (M) 7/10 I flew to Christchurch to see this with my best bro Te Rau and my lil sister.  And I’m so glad I did.  This is by no means a perfect film, heck, I’d imagine that a newbie would be totally flummoxed by all the assumed knowledge, but what made me happy was that it could have been so absolutely shit.  Brian Singer left the directing duties and took most of his production crew with him to do Superman Returns.  The fans went nuts.  Matthew Vaughn was brought onboard, and everyone seemed to calm down.  Then he disappeared only weeks out from the start of principle photography.  He was replaced with .. Brett Ratner.  Mr. Ratner had previously made the Rush Hour movies.  The fans went double nuts.  I stayed quiet.  He had also directed Red Dragon, which I really enjoyed.  Somehow Brett managed to get a serviceable movie up on screens.  It’s too short and major characters die all too frequently, but it works for the most part and in my mind doesn’t clash with what was shown previously.  Be thankful people!  Imagine if George Lucas had got his hands on this.  Yes, think about that for a second.  We didn’t get Mr. Singer’s vision, agreed, and that would have been the preference.  But we didn’t get shafted either.

Slither (R16) 6/10 My workmates laughed at me when I said I was going to see a movie that had mutant slugs and zombies in it.  But I got what I went to see.  Violence, comedy, gore and even a smattering of nudity.  Plus the always excellent Nathan Fillion.

Superman Returns (M) 6/10 I wrote a review for this on my work’s intranet.  I’ll repeat what I said there because I still feel the same way.  I just don’t “feel” Superman.  He is just a total boy scout.  A dork.  100% good.  It’s this lack of darkness that I can’t handle.  Couple this with his utter aversion to Kryptonite, his only weakness (and a stupid deuce ex-machina) and you get one long, boring movie.  I can’t fault anything with it, except for its source material.  If a sequel is made, I hope Brian Singer goes nuts with it.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (M) 9/10 The original Pirates was a surprise hit back in the day, so it was with some scepticism that I sat down to watch its sequel.  I shouldn’t have worried.  It’s great.  What is more surprising is how nicely it fits with everything that happened on the previous film, in fact one of the central plot details was quite literally right under Jack’s, Will’s and Elizabeth’s collective nose in the first movie.  Whether or not this was intended from the get go or a happy accident .. who knows, who cares?  It’s just as rousing and spectacular as the first movie, maybe even more so.  With Pirates 3 arriving next year, it needed a hook at the end to keep us on the edge of our seats, and boy, does it have a hook or what?!  A surprise cameo at the end had me cheering for more!

Over The Hedge (PG) 7/10 My parents think I’m weird coz I own many animated movies.  They look at them and see a “kids” movie.  I just love animation.  So much so I’ll buy terrible movies just for their animation .. I mean, I once owned Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children for heaven’s sake!  So it’s no surprise that I saw Over The Hedge.  What was surprising was how good it was, and not just it’s animation.  All the voice work is great.  The story holds together, it’s funny and deliciously clichéd.  I can’t wait for the DVD, so that I can examine it more closely.

Stormbreaker (PG) 6/10 I am not acquainted with the Alex Rider novels by Anthony Horowitz.  I’m sure however that they are much better than the movie that has been based on the first novel, Stormbreaker.  I guess I’m far beyond the target age, but still parents would have to see this thing too, so something beyond the clichéd action and set-ups of Bond would have been appreciated.  Having said that it’s nice to see a cast that for the most part is made up entirely of English actors.

Casino Royale (M) 8/10 Casino Royale is the 21^st Bond movie to be made and it was publicly stated and widely rumoured beforehand that it was going to be a reboot of the franchise.  This is the most enjoyable Bond film I’ve ever seen because of this reason.  There are no cheesy lines, no stupid gadgets .. in their place is engaging dialogue, believable action and a clever plot.  Daniel Craig has taken over as the new Bond and despite reservations I think he did a great job.  He’s charming, likeable .. and yet he’s a killer too.  Let’s not forget, Bond is a hitman and spy, killing is part of his job.  It’s this element that has been re-introduced in this film that elevates it above the vast majority of the Bond films. Bond is ruthless, he will kill for the mission without hesitation.  Finally, Bond is an action-thriller again, not a comedy.

Eragon (PG) 5/10 I dunno it’s one thing to celebrate someone’s success .. but come on, this isn’t what Peter Jackson had in mind, I’m sure, when he brought the fantasy genre into it’s zenith, that the films to come after it would be very, very pale comparisons indeed. Eragon is the perfectly example of fantasy gone wrong. Pretentious and contrived names, dialogue and .. well pretty much everything.  Everything that you’d expect to happen, happens with all the grace and subtlety of a ballet dancing hippo.  Its one saving grace is some above average Dragon CGI .. surely that’s not the best you can do Weta??  It’s all just so glaringly average it feels so much more worse than it actually is. Which is the extant of any praise I can give it.

Flushed Away (PG) 8/10 It’s a shame that Aardman and Dreamworks have parted company, but I think that Aardman  should be glad to be away from a company that is so short-sighted it can’t see when it’s got a good thing going. Flushed Away marks the third and final film in the Aardman/Dreamworks partnership. As such it’s a fitting end as the film is an absolute corker.  The humour is brilliant, the story is compelling and the animation is fantastic. How this flopped in America .. no wait, I can understand it, coz American’s are fucked up.  The humour is probably too intelligent for them.  Go on Aardman, make the next feature a total killer and make Dreamworks weep.

Happy Feet (G) 7/10 Happy Feet is great summer entertainment.  All singing, dancing penguins and a surprising environmental message make for a sure crowd pleaser.  I guess my only fault with it is that once it was over I didn’t feel particularly compelled to see it again.  However, that’s just me. The sheer entertainment value is far too great to be put off by questions of longevity.

Night At The Museum (PG) 7/10 The concept of this movie is great, however the execution is a little uneven. It was nice to see Ben Stiller not in complete clown mode but still .. I understand you make movies to make money, but I just wish NATM hadn’t been hamstringed by toning pretty much everything down for it’s family audience. Still there were no glaring faults, so I will count my blessings.

The Prestige (M) 8/10 After so many flashy, Hollywood family comedies and “action” films of late, I decided to take in this movie, from Mr. Batman Begins himself Christopher Nolan. It’s a fascinating thriller, with terrific performances by both Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale, ably supported by Michael Caine and Scarlett Johansson. In a way, this is a mystery .. and the fun is guessing just what is going on, and who is playing who and ultimately, who is the greater monster. And it will certainly keep you guessing!

Hot Fuzz (R13) 9/10 Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright, the creative team behind Shaun Of The Dead, return to send up yet another favourite movie genre, the action film.  The concept is simple, take the huge set pieces and droll one liners from pretty much every action film ever made in America, and transplant it into a small English town.  Simon Pegg plays the preposterously named Nicholas Angel, the super-cop who is reassigned to England’s smallest city by his superiors as his 100% arrest rate is making the rest of the force look bad.  Now stuck in a small town with little to no crime he spends his days arresting bored teenagers, and trying to keep his spirits up.  It’s not long, however, before he discovers his new beat has a very, very shady underbelly.  What is actually going on is all part of the fun, as you’ll never guess what is going to happen round the corner.  Hats off again to the lads, this is a brilliant film, gloriously revelling in the action nonsense with absolute poker face respect.  Exceptionally funny and with some nice lashings of gore, Messer’s Pegg and Wright should well and truly be proud of themselves.

Ghost Rider (M) 6/10 Mark Stephen Johnson directed one of my favourite comic book movies, Daredevil. Yeh, I know forget the original theatrical cut, the director’s cut is the one I’m talking about.  And yes, it’s an actual director’s cut, that’s the movie he intended to make.  Then Ghost Rider happened. Was that the movie he intended to make??  It’s just so silly, with barely a plot at all, gaping leaps of faith and only average SFX.  I pray like heck when it comes time for the DVD MSJ says, oh right, here’s the movie I meant to make and add in, well a story and good dialogue and compelling action.  None of which will stop the movie looking cheap, despite it having $40m more in its budget than Daredevil did.  Oh, and Melbourne, no matter how dark you film it, is NOT New York.  I mean really, Melbourne??

Black Sheep (R13) 8/10 15 years ago when Peter Jackson released Brain Dead (that’s Dead Alive to any American’s passing through), a young Jonathon King was watching that masterpiece of splatter and thought to himself “I want to do that too, only with sheep..” In terms of its feel, this is more like PJ’s first effort, Bad Taste.  Certainly the technicalities of it are far beyond that movie, but there’s no denying this is a kiwi movie, made with love and a good old, down-on-the-farm sense of humour.  There are lots of clever NZ in-jokes, great one liners and of course wall to wall gore. In the end there were only a few places where I felt cheated (did I miss how they got all the sheep into the woolshed?), so on the whole it’s well worth seeing. 

300 (R16) 8/10 There has been fierce debate between Frank Miller fans, political commentators and even the Iranian government about the intentions/symbolism of this new film from Zack Snyder, director of the non-zombie zombie movie remake, Dawn Of The Dead.  I didn’t like that particular effort, mainly for the liberties Mr. Snyder took with established conventions of the genre.  Liberties, in both senses of the word are what fuels so much of the debate currently raging in comic book nerd circles.  King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) wants to protect the freedom of Sparta from the invading hordes of Persia. What is really sticking in people’s throats is quite simply, what is the movie trying to say, trying to be?  Personally, I see it as a piece of entertainment. Reliving a battle that, quite frankly, no one really knows the exact details of – that being said, given it’s visual style, is it trying to elevate itself above mere entertainment and enter the realms of film as art?  Who knows, I certainly won’t be speculating.  To do so would be to miss what I feel is the point.  Some things are worth dying for, and that every culture has it’s fanatics.  I certainly enjoyed the look, the action, the spectacle and the general vibe, so I do not hesitate in recommending it.

TMNT (PG) 7/10 When I was 11, the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles burst onto the big screen in a surprisingly dark and violent live action film, utilising some brilliant animatronics from The Jim Henson’s Workshop.  In 2007 the turtles again pop onscreen, now re-dubbed TMNT in a spectacular CGI animated film.  It’s been made for 11 old boys, unsurprisingly but it’s funny and action packed.  Its only real weakness is that writer/director Kevin Munroe occasionally forgets there are FOUR turtles .. concentrating on Leonardo and Raphael as the film’s main source of conflict.  I can’t gripe too much, as that’s how the characters were originally written.  It’s fast paced and surprisingly violent, but the peril is perhaps too kiddie friendly.

Spider-Man 3 (M) 7/10 I gave Spidey 2.0 full marks for reasons too numerous to go in to here.  Suffice to say it was enough to have me going out of my mind waiting for part 3 to arrive.  As an individual story, it’s not as good as its predecessors, but seen as part of a trilogy it holds its head up high.  Still .. it’s very long, and there’s so much plot in its 2 ½ hours, and yet it feels like nothing happens.  The best thing about it is seeing Harry Osborn’s story arc finally resolve itself.  There’s some cool action towards the end, but on the whole it feels like Mr. Raimi was hanging up his hat long before the film ended.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End (M) 8/10 Pirates take 3 is similar in many respects to Spider-Man 3, in that it’s wrapping up a story in a long winded manner, however it scores higher because it’s got better action and doesn’t take the giant leaps of faith that Spider-Man 3 does.  At the end of the day it is satisfying and most of my questions were answered.  I was a bit disappointed in the role Chow Yun Fat played .. but oh well, can’t have it all.  As always Johnny Depp was fantastic and even Orlando Bloom pulled in a performance.  Definitely one to watch out for.

Shrek The Third (PG) 7/10 I was very disappointed with the 2^nd Shrek movie.  However, it seems as if the film-makers looked inside my head, and have given us a story that is actually kinda cool.  The previews made it seem like it was going to have some cool girl-camaraderie going as the Fiona rallies the other princesses to help rescue Shrek.  It’s a bit more sedate than however.  One thing I must say though is Dreamworks have totally outdone themselves in terms of their human characters .. they are so close to being indistinguishable from real people, it’s scary.

Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (PG) 7/10 I had a ball with the first FF movie, it was solid, cornball, cheesy fun.  The same can be said about the sequel.  In fact, the two are near facsimiles of each other, with the big exception that FF:ROTSS boasts the coolest character in the Marvel universe, the Silver Surfer. Perhaps its treatment of such an iconic character is somewhat trite, but it knows it’s there to entertain, and it does that very, very well.

Transformers (M) 9/10 I grew up in the 80’s.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m male. Put these two together and almost certainly you’ll find that I was an avid collector of the Transformers action figures.  I had nearly two dozen of the blasted things, which isn’t huge by any stretch of the imagination, but it kept me amused.  They held a high place in my small world, in that they were the only toys I did not feel the need to burn, smash and generally destroy in order to have fun with them.  How things have changed.  With the Transformers movie I wanted to see these guys smash the crap out of one another, and boy did I get that.  I think my favourite moment was when Optimus Prime took down Bonecrusher first with a slo-mo uppercut (with slo-mo popping out eyeball) then with his handy slide out sword straight through Bonecrusher’s neck.  What can you say, really, about a movie based on toys? If you didn’t grow up with them, perhaps you could engage it on action/CGI spectacle level, but heck .. I was thoroughly  engaged and not surprisingly suddenly 8 all over again.

Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix (M) 7/10 After reading the 6^th HP book, I felt compelled to accuse JK Rowling of stalling for time.  Wouldn’t you believe it, but I almost feel like saying the same thing about David Yates, the man in the director’s chair this time out.  Some cool stuff happens in it, but over all, it just felt meh.

The Simpsons (PG) 7/10 Finally THE Simpsons movie arrives.  Colour me a bit disappointed.  Sure the animation is excellent, the story is decent and most of the jokes find their mark.  But perhaps all this is just 10 years too late?  Oh well, at least we still have the TV show.

Die Hard 4.0 (M) 8/10 The Die Hard sequels were a funny bunch.  Lots of guns, explosions, massive set pieces, and yet they all were fundamentally very different beasts to the original, and still the greatest, Die Hard movie.  Despite all the bitching from the fans, DH4 is actually pretty decent.  The aforementioned guns, explosions and set pieces are big and loud enough to warrant calling this an actual Die Hard sequel, but it just doesn’t feel like a Die Hard movie should.  It doesn’t really matter, after all we’re here to see John McClane kick ass and be a smart ass.

The Bourne Ultimatum (M) 9/10 I don’t actually know what to say about JB’s 3^rd and final outing.  Suffice to say, it got a 9 from me.  It’s hectic, heady and well paced.  Just go see it.

2007 David Butterfield.  Last updated 3^rd September 2007. 

Questions?  Comments?  Email me!  Dizzy Dave