Roleplay Title

The Peculiar Perils Of Pandaman {Part 1}

People Used/Mentioned

Carly Scott, Colin Leslie, Killer, C.H.I.M.P.

Next Match

Dave Haile vs. Colin Leslie

OOC

Part 2 will be for the tag title match on Smackdown next week. Have fun and enjoy!

Start Roleplay

As Shattered Dreams Entertainment returns from a commercial break the fans are shocked to see that they are not being welcomed back by the usual ring promo or commentator discussion that usually signs in the return of SDE programming. Instead they are welcomed by and extremely cheesy theme music, ripped off from the old Spiderman tune. A large visage of a panda is displayed on the titantron as the lyrics to the theme song begins to play� Woman:  Pandaman, Pandaman, does whatever a panda can, sits on his ass, eating bamboo, when he feels like it he goes for a poo, look out, here comes a Pandaman! The scene then fades to show what looks like an elaborate laboratory. There are lots of clear, water filled pipes pumping throughout the area that is furnished with cold, blue steel. A relatively small helicopter lies in the centre of the room with a spotlight shining high above it and the rest of the room appears to be just one large computer, filled with monitors, keyboards and other electrical tools. There is one secluded corner of the room, however, that stands home to a small crop of bamboo. In the very centre lies a small pond, in which a white duck that has a black collection of feathers around his eyes is circling around, and occasionally ducking its head beneath the surface in the search for food. The camera focuses in on the duck as it continues to swim peacefully in the pond, surrounded by bamboo without a care in the world. As the camera continues this pointless and somewhat mundane camera shot a narrator begins to speak to the fans as this episode of "The Peculiar Perils of Pandaman" becomes underway. Narrator: It was a calm summers day and nothing much was happening in this world of the sick and twisted. Children were outside playing, the birds were singing and a soft cooling breeze continued to blow across the land providing relief from the hot mid-day sun that continued to shine high above the world. Even the Panda Pad was a mirror image of this tranquillity, the only sounds being that of Killer, splashing around gently in the Panda Pond, while Pandaman himself is still tucked up in his comfy bed, not expected to arise for at least another two hours. But this sultry, calm scene is about to be interrupted, as we are about to see when things go horribly awry. As soon as the narrator ceases his monologue, a loud crash is heard to the left of the camera. The camera swings round in the direction of the sound as the panda pad is now engulfed in natural light, the sun shining through the newly bored hole in the roof of the Panda Pad. The camera then pans down just in time to see a large, mechanical monkey landing directly beneath the whole in the ceiling from whence it came. His rocket packs then turn off and the monkey begins to swing his head back and forth as he looks around his new surroundings. He then, in quite a gruff voice emerging from the speaker in his mouth, begins to assess his landing zone. ?????: So, it looks like I have finally found that wretched Pandaman's lair. What a fool, building his lair in his parent's garage, that's the first place every super-villain looks when trying to hunt down the base of their most hated adversary. Pandaman may have gotten the better of me thus far, but it will not happen again, for I know that Pandaman cannot operate without some kind of help or assistance! Yes, I've seen him, him and that duck! You may ask what use can a duck provide? But somehow that duck can influence Pandaman in ways I cannot fathom. But without Killer, what is he? An idiotic teenager in a cape! Now, to carry out my evil plan to take over the world, with my new super weapon that shall turn all of the world leaders into giant bananas, I shall then be able to bend the world to my will! Without Killer, not even the great Pandaman can stop me! Mwuhahahaha! The giant mechanical monkey then stops shouting out every little detail of his plan and turns, stomping forcefully towards the pond in which Killer is still circling, blissfully unaware that he is about to snatched away from his peaceful home and cast into the evil clutches of a mad-man (or mad-monkey, whichever way you prefer to look at it). The great mechanical monstrosity then slowly approaches the pond and the camera appears to now show the viewer's the monkey's viewpoint as the camera goes completely red as it stares towards the pond, a crosshair then shooting around the screen until eventually resting on the duck, flashing a beeping before displaying the message "Target Acquired". The monkey then lets out another laugh before reaching out its massive hand and wrapping its metallic fingers around the completely helpless duck. Killer begins to quack loudly and desperately as he struggles in vein to release himself from the monkey's powerful grip. The monkey then appears to be squeezing Killer to death but instead a loud rumble can be heard and suddenly Killer disappears. The camera then follows along the monkey's arm and then down into his stomach. There, through reinforced bulletproof glass, stands Killer, resting in the very centre of the large mechanical monkey. ?????: Ha ha ha! Now that I have Killer trapped within me, Pandaman has no chance of stopping me. Now, back to my lair high atop Mount Monkey so I can put the finishing touches to the Bananatron. Mwuhahahaha! The rocket boosters we saw before then come back online as large jets of fire begin to emerge from the monkey's feet. He remains stationary, hovering just above the ground for a few moments before a sudden blast of energy suddenly causes him to shoot suddenly and quickly into the air, causing a new, fresh hole to appear in the roof of the Panda Pad as he smashes through. As he flies away he drops a small slip of paper that floats gently onto the cold, blue steel floor. This leaves the camera standing alone in the empty Panda Pad as the Narrator begins to speak once again. Narrator: The Cybernetic Hero Irritating Mechanical Primate or "C.H.I.M.P." kidnapped Pandaman's trusty sidekick, and with Pandaman still sleeping, completely unaware of C.H.I.M.P.'s evil plot, will C.H.I.M.P. succeed in turning all of the world leaders into giant bananas? Only Pandaman can stop him, he must give haste and pursue C.H.I.M.P. quickly before it is too late, it's a good job C.H.I.M.P. did not destroy the Panda Copter� With that a small metallic ball suddenly drops through one of the holes in the ceiling and lands on the side of the Panda Copter. It then begins to beep, the intervals between beeps reducing each time before suddenly exploding, causing one of the metal feet of the Panda Copter to break off, causing it to fall onto its side before twisting and landing upside-down, one of the blades snapping off in the process. Narrator: Fuck� This loud crash that destroyed the Panda Copter does spark one small ray of hope. The words "what the fuck was that?" are heard from behind the thick, metallic doors in the corner of the Panda Pad as a few beeps are heard as the secret code is punched into the keypad beside the door. A computerised voice speaks the words "Access Granted" and the steel doors pull apart to reveal Dave Haile, stood dead centre between the two doors that have just pulled apart. Wearing a pair of blue adidas trainers, a blue pair of cut off jeans and a white t-shirt that reads "you don't have to be crazy to talk to me� but it helps" Dave's mouth drops as he casts his eyes around his secret lair. He then screams an obscenity that echoes throughout the room as he stares at the pile of concrete and metal rubble that was his ceiling and helicopter. He then approaches the small slip of paper dropped by C.H.I.M.P. as he left and kneels down onto the floor, snatches up the piece of paper and reads it aloud. Dave: "Your base has been infiltrated by C.H.I.M.P., the Cybernetic Hero Irritating Metallic Primate. Have a nice day"� computer, play back all the security footage from the initial breach in the ceiling up to my own admittance into the Panda Pad. The screens that are dotted around the Panda Pad all then flash on and display the footage of C.H.I.M.P. entering the lab, reciting his plan and kidnapping Killer, Dave watches, completely thunderstruck as he stares at the largest monitor in complete disbelief as he watches C.H.I.M.P. fly out of the Panda Pad with Killer securely trapped within his giant mechanical body. Dave: Ok computer that's all well and good but what happened to the Panda Cop�. The explosion is then displayed on the screen, the orange hue of flames that emerged from the bomb reflecting in Dave's eye as he watches it back. The cameras then display Dave inputting the code to enter the lab before quickly switching off and leaving the Panda Pad in silence. Dave tilts his head and scratches the side, just above his right ear before turning to face a nearby console, beginning to type frantically upon it, his hands becoming almost a blur as he moves. Dave: I hate to admit it, but C.H.I.M.P. was right, I can't do anything without Killer� ok, so I can't do hardly anything without the Panda Copter but Killer is pretty damn important too! No, there are only two imminent superpowers that can help me now� Computer, execute both programs G-Gnome and 4-Leaf then locate their sources. Computer: Both power sources for G-Gnome and 4-Leaf are located in the Panda Pad. Dave: Yes, thank you computer, any chance you want to tell me where? Computer: Both are located beneath the ever-growing pile of dirty laundry found in Sector D. Dave then strolls over to the corner of the Panda Pad where a vast pile of dirty clothes stand like a vast mountain. Dave then dives into the pile of laundry, checking all the pockets of the discarded pairs of jeans as he searches for the power sources of G-Gnome and 4-Leaf. Once he has checked a garment, he tosses it carelessly over his shoulder before proceeding to the next. He tosses back a black "Stone Sour" T-shirt and beneath it lays a very small plastic fishing rod and a small four-leaf clover. He grins and picks them up, shoving them into his pocket. He then rushes off behind a large blue screen and more clothes come flying out from behind it. He then jumps over the top of the screen and stands triumphantly in the centre of the Panda Pad. Wearing a black pair of cut off jeans this time, a white t-shirt that reads "Pandaman� Woooosssshhhh!", a backwards black Quicksilver hat and a black cape that also reads "Pandaman" Dave turns towards the biggest screen prepared to leave. Dave: Quickly� to the Panda Cop� Oh right� um� in that case, to the Panda Cycle! Dave the brushes his cape behind him and runs towards a large black and white motorcycle that lies to the edge of the Panda Pad. He hops onto it and grabs the handlebars as a computerised voice welcomes him. Panda Cycle: Panda Cycle online, welcome Pandaman, before we depart I must warn you that should your mother see the Panda Pad in such a state she will be highly displeased. Dave: Oh fuck, you've got a point, computer, execute program number 374 and deposit all misplaced items where they belong. Now, Panda Cycle, our destination is St. George, Bristol� we're going to pay Carly a little visit� With that, the Panda Cycle revs up and shoots off into the distance, the camera shot adjusting to accommodate this with an onboard camera shot, showing Dave zooming along the road at unimaginable speeds, his cape fluttering behind him as he approaches his destination. The Panda Cycle then abruptly screeches to a halt and stops right outside a brown door in a small cul-de-sac. Dave then rests the Panda Cycle aside and approaches the door, pressing the doorbell and waiting patiently for someone to answer him. The door then flings open to reveal Carly Scott, dressed in a pair of white trainers, a blue pair of jeans with brown fringes decorating the seams and strapped red top, which Carly is fussing with trying to untangle them from the straps of her bra. Dave watches with a grin as Carly stares innocently back at him, trying to impress the fact that she's surprised to see him. Dave: Colin there with you then huh? Carly: How the hell did you know that� and what the fuck are you wearing? Why are you wearing a cape Dave? Dave: Shhhh, keep it down! I'd appreciate it if you didn't refer to me as that until we're assured that we aren't being listened to. Dave then pauses and stares vaguely at the camera with a slight look of confusion decorating his face. He then shakes his head sharply and turns to Carly once again. Carly: Well come in then! Colin's here but somehow you already knew that� how did you know that? Dave: (stepping indoors) Call it instinct I suppose, that or the fact that you had the exact same expression on your face when I walked in the locker room last week and caught you two fooling around. Seriously, you two have got to learn how to keep your hands off each other. Carly blushes slightly as they both walk into the living room where Colin is sat on the sofa watching the television, breathing relatively heavily, another sign of what Carly and Colin were up to before Dave arrived at the door. Colin turns to greet Dave, as does Carly's dog Poppy who approaches Dave as he sits in the chair. Dave reaches down and begins to stroke Poppy absent-mindedly as the three engross in conversation. Colin: Hey Dave, what brings you here� and why are you wearing a cape? Dave: For fucks sake, can't you figure it out by now? Pandaman is on a mission! There has been a kidnapping and I kinda need your help. Colin: You need our help? That's rich! Why don't you just hop in the Panda Copter and airlift the guy out of the way bing bang bong right? Dave: I only wish it was that easy, but C.H.I.M.P. blew up the Panda Copter right after he kidnapped Killer. Colin: Hang on, lets backtrack here� a chimp has kidnapped your duck then blew up the "Panda Copter" whatever that might be� Dave: Oh so many things to explain to the poor Irish person with the limited mental capacity. Right, where to begin, firstly, it's not a chimp it's C.H.I.M.P., the Cybernetic Hero Irritating Mechanical Primate, basically a big metal monkey. Secondly, the Panda Copter is my helicopter, C.H.I.M.P. broke in to the Panda Pad this morning, kidnapped Killer and blew up the Panda Copter, now I need you guys to help me get him back. Colin: Have you been smoking Opium again? Dave: No! Well� a little, but that's not the point! C.H.I.M.P. is planning to use a super weapon that'll turn all the world leaders into giant bananas and I can't face him alone, I'm going to need your help. Colin: Dave, will you just stop fucking about? Don't you reckon we ought to be concentrating on our hardcore title match at Backlash rather than messing about with giant mechanical monkeys that want to turn the queen into a banana? Dave: Some things are more important than out hardcore title match Colin. My best friend has been kidnapped and I will not rest until I have saved him and the rest of the world from that psychotic chunk of metal! Colin: Dude� your best friend is a duck? Dave: Hey! Killer understands me on levels that nobody else can! We connect in ways you can't even imagine! What may seem like a worthless little duck to you influences me in ways beyond belief. Colin: Now that I can understand. It's got to take something that isn't human to understand you! Carly: But how do you expect us to help you save Killer and fight off this chimp thing? Dave: Well first you'll need to accompany me back to the Panda Pad, I have something with me that I'll need to give you� Carly: Oh god� Narrator: So Carly and Colin finally stopped thinking Dave was crazy and reluctantly followed him back to the Panda Pad. They began to suspect that this Pandaman thing was more than they had previously assumed when they raced back to the Panda Pad on the Panda Cycle, yet they were really turned when they first set foot back in Pandaman's secret lair� Colin: Fucking hell� and there I was thinking you were just a crazy fucker who for some reason thought he was a panda but look at this place� I thought you said the Panda Copter was destroyed� Dave looks over to the centre of the Panda Pad and sure enough, the Panda Copter was once again standing up in its proper position. Both the broken foot and blade were now repaired and the Panda Copter was now looking as good as new. Slightly puzzled, it suddenly occurs to Dave why the Panda Copter is now repaired. Dave: Program number 374, everything back where its meant to be� blade and foot back on the Panda Copter� well I'll be damned. Carly: So what is it you brought us here for? Dave: Well C.H.I.M.P. is a very tough adversary and I'm bound to need some assistance in taking him out. That's where you two come in. You see, a while back, I found these weird powers that can give people abilities similar to mine, if you have the costume and the power source then you can become a super hero such as myself. Now I don't give out these lightly, but I need to save Killer and you guys are my only hope. Dave reaches into his pocket and produces the small fishing rod and the four-leaf clover. He hands the fishing rod to Carly and the four-leaf clover to Colin before directing them towards the screen which Dave had changed behind earlier. Dave: Computer... set out option codes number 415 and 713 and put them behind the screen please. The whirr of cogs then begins to sound throughout the Panda Pad and a mechanical arm is seen waving around behind the screen. A loud "ding" then sounds and Dave ushers the pair behind the screen, pointing out which costume belongs to whom. A few minutes later the pair emerge once more, both looking quite upset with their costumes. Colin, who has now transformed into Cloverman, is now dressed head to toe in a green suit topped with a green bowler hat and now has a fake ginger beard taped to his chin. Carly, who is now She-gnome, is wearing a pointed hat with plastic ears 3 times bigger than her own attached to the sides, a green set of lederhosen, a large black pair of wellington boots and is absolutely caked in makeup making her cheeks redder than a phone box in London. Dave looks at them and cannot help but laugh yet Carly and Colin both look less than amused. Dace catches on in realising that they do not wish to remain in this state. Dave: Um� computer. Can we please update option codes number 415 and 713 and once again place updated versions behind the screen. The whirring once again commences and the mechanical hand continues to dance around behind the screen. Colin and Carly, both muttering sourly as they pass Dave, retreat back behind the screen and change into the newly updated versions of their costumes. They emerge once more slightly more satisfied. Colin is now dressed in a dark green short sleeved shirt and black jeans with a green cape similar to Dave's with a large four leaf clover imprinted on the back. Carly is now wearing a short black skirt, a blue skinny top with a flowerpot imprinted on the front and a squash (J-Lo) hat. Both seem slightly more satisfied with their new appearances as they approach Dave with slight grins. Colin: So� what's the plan? Dave: Well I guess since we've got the Panda Copter back then we can just fly that straight to Mount Monkey where Killer is being kept and see what we can do from there. Carly: So� do we have any special powers or anything? Like, can either of us fly or shoot lasers out of our eyes or anything? Dave: Well like myself we each have our own special ability, Pandaman has the ever-prominent powers of wielding a bamboo stick with high expertise and of course the un-ignorable ability to annoy. She-gnome has all the advantages of being short and the ability to use a fishing pole like a pro. And of course Cloverman has an unnaturally high amount of luck� I'm sure all of our powers will come in handy down the line! C.H.I.M.P.: Ah, but that's where you're wrong! Colin, Carly and Dave then spin to see C.H.I.M.P. displayed on the largest monitor near the centre of the Panda Pad. C.H.I.M.P.: You see Pandaman, you may have been able to band together all your worthless little friends, and you may have fixed your little toy helicopter but all your attempts are futile! You see, I have completed my Bananatron and now, with a simple pulling of this leaver then all the world leaders will become giant bananas. Then, I shall seize power and then I shall rule the world. And there's no way you can stop me! Mwuhahahaha! C.H.I.M.P. then reaches over and pulls the switch as the action freezes, the narrator speaking over the freeze frame as Colin, Carly and Dave stand in shock, staring, awestruck, at the monitor. Narrator: Will C.H.I.M.P.'s plan be successful and turn all the world leaders into bananas? Will Pandaman be able to stop him? Will Carly ever be tall enough to ride the best roller coasters at Universal Studios? Or can Colin do the undoable and resist Carly for once? Tune in next time to find out!

End Roleplay