|
As Shattered Dreams Entertainment returns from a commercial break the camera is suddenly engulfed by the Kerrang! logo. For those of you not familiar with Kerrang, it is possibly the biggest rock magazine and music channel in the UK. As we delve deeper into the scene we see mindless destruction and chaos as a collaboration of familiar faces are seen playfully throwing over tables, whipping off tablecloths, throwing around chairs and basically destroying everything in sight in a volley of bottles and cans all completely emptied of their contents. The men and women you see around you are drowning themselves in booze as a show attempts to take place on a small stage at the back of the room, but is somewhat overcast by the rowdy behaviour of the audience. As the camera zooms in you can see that the inhabitants of the crowd are none other than a huge collection of rock artists including Bowling For Soup, Linkin Park, Blink 182, System Of A Down and even the musical gods that are Metallica. As the camera pans around you can clearly see a large indication of why all these people have collected together in this small arena in the heart of London in the United Kingdom. Displayed is now a large logo that reads "Kerrang! Awards 2003". The camera, panning around the large collection of overturned tables, smashed glass and drunken roustabouts we see various humorous scenes including Bam Margera going from woman to woman copping a feel and getting a slap in return, the lead singer of Reel Big Fish literally drowning himself in alcohol and even one bald man stood up on a chair and revealing himself to everyone that passes by. As the camera focuses in on the door it becomes clear as to why the SDE cameras have arrived in this energetic, unruly location as we see SDE superstars Dave Haile, Colin Leslie and Carly Scott stood watching the proceedings from a safe distance. As we pan from left to right, all three of the fresh-faced Brits are dressed casually. Colin opting for a pair of plain blue jeans and a chequered shirt, he watches the mayhem in front of him with a smile. Carly, noticing the man stood on his chair, looks rather horrified as she stands alongside Colin in the doorway dressed in a strapless top and a pair of jeans brushed with gold. Dave, on the other hand, is watching on with a grin on his face and a glint in his eye, looking eager to join in on the insanity that unfolds before him, despite the fact that he is more than likely the youngest person in the room. The camera zooms in on them just as Carly sees Dave is more than ready to run in and wreak some havoc alongside some of his favourite groups. Carly puts her arm out to stop him, knowing that Dave worked up into that kind of frenzy is never a good thing to have to witness. Dave looks at Carly longingly, anxious to join the fray.
Dave: Come on Carly, it's not every day you get to come to the Kerrang awards and party with the likes of Blink 182 and Metallica. I've got to go and congratulate them both for Dublin and Reading, they were awesome!
Colin: Yeah, Metallica were amazing at Dublin weren't they? But of course, The Darkness were really good as well� Don't you agree Dave?
Dave scowls at Colin, as he knows full well that The Darkness are probably Dave's most hated collection of talent less assholes he's ever had the displeasure of sitting through� twice.
Dave: No Colin, I don't agree. Now shut up before I force you to take an Atlantic long flight in the Panda Copter instead of taking the plane back to America. We all know how much you'd enjoy that! Oh god, I've just thought, those bastards might be here tonight mightn't they�
Carly: Dave, I know you hate them and hell, I hate them too, but if they are here I don't want you doing anything rash. We're here because of SDE remember, so try and remain kinda professional. If you see them just ignore them or close your ears like you did in Dublin.
Dave: What do you care about our reputation in SDE anyway Carly? Kurt fired you, you can do whatever the hell you please and it won't reflect badly on anybody. Besides, my job has a huge question mark hanging over it as well. Kurt promised I could keep my job if I competed in the pageant but since then I aint heard squat!
Colin: Well we all know my job is safe, and I still have that nice little Intercontinental title shot to look forward to. But that can be discussed at a later date, right now, I'm here to party! I'm gonna go see if I can chat with that guy from Good Charlotte.
Dave: Be sure to tell them how much they suck!
Colin casts a grin back at Dave as he walks away, shaking his head as he becomes immersed in the crowd, heading towards Good Charlotte's table and disappearing from Dave and Carly's view. Carly glances up at Dave, who towers a clear foot, and the rest, above her.
Carly: Well since I went to New York when you saw Bowling For Soup back in Bristol I think I'm gonna go speak to them. You've got to wait around here for an interview haven't you? *Dave nods* I'll speak to you later then.
Carly then also strolls off into the crowd leaving Dave alone in the doorway as he continues to watch the scene in front of him unfold. He scans the crowd for glances of Colin but he is nowhere in sight, its likely that if he's with Good Charlotte he'll be with them hiding in the toilets in fear of getting booed out of the venue. As Dave continues to strain his eyes, scanning the crowd of rock stars for his sidekicks he suddenly notices that there is a rather confused looking Edith Bowman staring in his general direction armed with a microphone and a cameraman as she appears to be looking for someone. She clamps eyes with Dave who grins in retort as she nervously approaches him.
Edith: Um� are you Dave Haile? *Dave nods* That Pandaman fella from Shattered Dreams Entertainment yeah? *Dave nods again* Oh good, well I'm supposed to interview you. I didn't really recognise you without your cap and cape you see. Hang on let him set up the camera.
The cameraman behind her begins fiddling with the camera and points it in the direction of the Kerrang Awards 2003 backdrop as Edith Bowman ushers Dave in front of it. She stands across from him with the microphone poised as they wait for the go ahead from the cameraman. From behind the camera, the man shoots a thumbs up out to Edith Bowman who takes a deep breath and begins to conduct her interview.
Edith: Well here we are back at the Kerrang! awards and it looks as if we've now been joined by one of the wrestlers from Shattered Dreams Entertainment, the Bristol born David Haile, star of the Peculiar Perils of Pandaman series. Now Dave, I'm not sure if you're aware of how popular your series has become over here in the UK but we all think it's hilarious. Now as we are all eagerly anticipating part four you're here at the Kerrang! awards, I guess I have to ask what you're doing here.
Dave: Well I've always been heavily into music, I've just recently come back from a Metallica gig in Dublin and then, of course, I went to Reading music festival as well so basically that's why I'm back over here. As for the Kerrang! awards, well its not really an invitation you can turn down is it? So I thought while I'm here I'd come and check it out.
Edith: Well there are rumours going around that you are actually a member of a band yourself, can we expect you to be using your new found celebrity in SDE to propel yourself onto the music scene?
Dave: Well as soon as I can find a spare minute, we plan on going in for a recording session then hopefully I can convince either Kurt Angle or Stephanie McMahon to allow us to play in SDE. From then, who knows?
Edith: Well maybe we'll be seeing you back here next year with a nomination for best newcomer or something. So what do you think of the nominations for this year? Any favourites?
Dave: Well after what I saw in Dublin, Metallica have to win something, nothing yet, but I know they'll win something big! I'm rooting for Donnington Download Festival to win best event since I was there as well. As for best live act� I was will pissed off with Kerrang readers' choice of The Darkness
Edith: Oh? Did you not appreciate them?
Dave: Well I think I'm allowed a valid opinion on them since I had to sit through them twice in the same week, I personally happen to think that they fucking suck! I can't stand them one bit. They've been nominated for three awards tonight and I don't think they deserve a fucking thing!
Edith: Well thank you for coming, good luck with both your wrestling and music career and we very much hope to see you back here next year.
The cameraman then switches another switch on his camera paired with another thumbs up before he turns to leave. Edith Bowman extends her hand to Dave who then shakes her hand as she also turns to walk away. As Dave also sets off to join the crowds he stops dead in his tracks. Emerging from the crowd immediately in front of him walks Justin Hawkins, the lead singer of The Darkness. Dave's eyes suddenly narrow as he sees Justin walking out from the crowd and away into a small corridor towards the dressing rooms. Carly's words of reasoning then begin to echo through Dave's mind but his fury is now too inflamed to take heed. He cannot resist the temptation as he begins to follow Justin down the corridor. Justin shortly comes across a door and steps inside as Dave draws up on it and reads "The Darkness" written across the wood. He places his ear against the white, wooden door as he attempts to hear inside. He hears no noise and judges that Justin is in there alone, without his fellow band mates. Dave then turns his head, as if he's trying to reason with himself, but as he does so he sees a courtesy cart of refreshments laid out for the performers. There, sitting innocently on the cart, lies an entire turkey breast but, lying next to that, something catches Dave's eye. Lying on the platter is a large knife, obviously left out for means of carving the turkey. Dave then slips the knife into the deep pocket in the back of his jeans and pushes open the swing door of the Darkness' dressing room with a sadistic grin on his face�
Blood curdling screams and shouts of fury follow� and if anyone has heard The Darkness you would know that any girlish, high pitched screams from The Darkness' dressing room would be dismissed as a practice session, yes� they are that bad!
After a short while the screams abruptly stop and footsteps are heard from inside the dressing room. The door then swings open. Dave walks out and slings the now blood stained knife back onto the cart as it lands with a clatter. The door continues to swing back and forth, the interior side of the white door now covered in smears of red as Dave casually walks off down the corridor, whistling "Zip-a-dee-do-da" as the scene fades� |
